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Friend collectors or swingers - - My opinion, which hasn't changed in ages, is this, and I'm not chastising anyone, just offering my 2 cents.
One of the recurring and biggest problem that swingers face is that they decide what they personally like, or want, and then assume everyone else should choose the same path or they don't understand why how everyone else doesn't feel the same way they do. I've read the forum posts for years and the same questions recirculate on a regular basis. "Why don't people want to be the type of swingers we are?" "We don't want friends, we just want to have sex." "We don't necessarily want to have sex until we are friends." "We really only want friends but rarely play." All valid forms of the lifestyle and perfectly acceptable to different people.
The lifestyle can take work. It typically isn't easy and will take some time and effort to achieve your lifestyle goals. Sure it's helpful to post your desires in your profile but I'm sure people read those only rarely, or maybe they are drunk searching, or maybe they can't read. :) There are all types. Try not to get frustrated because someone else isn't following you lead. Be patient. Within one or two convos you should be expressing your goals and figuring out the goals of the people you are trying to get to know. Get a system that weeds out the people you are't interested in, something that works for you. You will get better with time and hopefully someday what you are looking for will be much easier to find.
However, until then, realize life isn't black and white, nor is swinging. There are as many varieties of swingers as there are ice cream flavors, or flavored condoms. haha. Don't expect others to want the same thing as you but certainly look for those that do. Be patient, kind and realize everyone is possibly looking for a different scenario than you. Some people love to send blind requests, some hate it. Right or wrong, it's life. Accept that there is mound of bullshit between you and that perfect couple/single male/female/trans/group/poly/donkey/toys only/DTF.... (Well, you get the point we are all looking for something different)that you are looking for.
So don't be frustrated. Accept it will be a challenge and work on better ways to make your life easier. There won't be a good answer only many shades of grey.
"Don't try to bend the spoon, for that is impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth... there is no spoon. Then you will see it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself."
And to the single males that post ridiculous stuff? WTF? Ugh. You make us all look like mentally disabled Neanderthals.
"Me have dick. Me like pussy. Stick it good."
Swingers dying out? - Is the utah swinger community dying or becoming to needy? - Is it just Us or are swingular members becoming less active and more focused on members with more money (access to high end events), more social skills (aka the clicks concerns, and only super good looking (model looks).
We have been on swingular for 5 years now off and on noticed a chat room of 50-60 users nightly dwindle down to 5 people tops.
No more house parties only paid events.
Couples are only wanting top of the line males females even and couples..
were all seeing it..
Were no ken and barbi but weve talked to other couples and noticing a trend of shunning over weight and looks...
My wife wants a single male now and again but only goes by age really for determination big small freaky no matter its just the first few lines that make her say yes or no.. And helping her screen yes im a little more harsh anyone that sounds aggressive or threatening to her i block but thats mostly covered in her profile so there bad then. ...
Ok ranting off topic..
What happened to house parties.?
To random meet and greets where homeowners can just say bye to a bad member?
to people just swinging not looking for a hookup or models for glamor shots?
So heres the new goal for swingular.. Invite people randomly couples and bi women no more offensive males only tried and true ones.
Get people who are of any looks from bad to good people who just understand there married in love committed but want to add that bit of spice now and again.
Go turn on Oprah - re:swingers - Looks like that show is on again tomorrow (sat July 1st) around noon. That's 12:35 for us in Utah.
Where to go, what to do. - Non club activities - Hoe about a swingers bowling league ?
swinger ? or not. - - Gotta love semantics. What is your definition of a swinger? Merriam Webster defines a swinger thusly:
a : a person who is lively, exciting, and up-to-date
b : one who engages freely in sex
There are those who would use the term in a variety of different ways. Some would vehemently deny that single people could be swingers and fall back on a previously used term of "wife swapping". Bottom line, a swinger, to you, is whatever YOU decide one is and if you consider yourself a swinger then you're a swinger. Someone else's definition is meaningless. JMHO
STD Testing - How often are you tested? - The only thing is that the test results are pretty much only good for the day they were done. Unless someone gets tested and then stays in a vault cut off from anyone else until the test results come back there is no way to determine if they are still STI free. Even accounting for incubation periods an STI test is really only good for that MOMENT when your blood was drawn. Bottom line if you're going to swing first be okay with the real and inherent risks and second protect yourself to the extent that you feel okay with those risks. We do our homework about what diseases are out there and then act appropriately. To us it only makes sense to assume that EVERYONE has an STD (most adults are seropositive for HSV type 1 or 2 which are now almost interchangeable as to where they can and will induce a primary infection) and to protect ourselves accordingly. People that are super paranoid about sex cooties prolly shouldn't be swingers. JMO
Not even going to mention how some VERY common STI's don't have a reliable test and thus aren't routinely screened for.
Swingers Vacation Spots - Help us - Hedo is definately the top destination on our list. We will be offering HUGE discounts to members with our travel agent partner. Look for group vacations being put together in the near future.
Hosting a swingers Party - - there is a few ways to do this . and like i noticed someone say u have to be careful on how u do things . if u dont have a lic, then u cant TELL PEOPLE THEY AHVE TO PAY U . u can ask for a dontation to help with the cost . but if anyone choose not to pay u still have to let them in . if not u can get into alot of trouble . one way to charge and it be ok is to have a private group with priavte parties .u can tell the group what kinda of party and then ask them to please send a dontaion with a id pic of them being 21 and over and then email them the loctaion to the party .i am sorry u have friends that dont want to help out with their share to help the party be good . i have never met anyone like that . all the private parties i have been to or heard abot everybody was more then happy to pay to help the party . but u have to be very careful about stuff like this . cops look for every reason to bust a swingers party . if the achool is being handed to u , they will bust u . if u tell them they have to pay to come they will bust u .
i would look in to it and the laws in your state . u can always stop by the cops station and ask some questions . but please be very careful . i hate to see people geting busted for trying to get together and have a party .
if people in your group dont want to pay u . then i would throw the parties at a club . u can call clubs and tell them how many people are in your group and what night u would like to go and most of the time they will give u and your group a deal to get in . and then the poeple have to pay . and it isnt going to u . so u dont have to worry about breaking any laws .
and yall still get to hang out and have fun .
naughty dreams
freaky kitty
House Parties - Questions about attending house parties - I guess I am confused by this..
Since when was swinging illegal..?
Wouldn't it be the hosts problem if the neighbors were nosy..? They should know their neighborhood and take the appropriate steps. Our neighbors all know, the reason they were nosy is because they wanted to come over, They were just swingers in denial.
We are currently moving and looking forward to breaking in some new neighbors..:)
Swinging 4ever??? - - As you can tell I am trying to get some more topics going other then the ones about FUCKHERIDID. NOt at all that I think they were bad posts..they were interesting, informative and glad we all know about the prick! It is time however, to talk bout something else. So, we wanna also know (along with our other forums we started today) do all you swingers picture yourselves doing this lifestyle till the day you die?? Or, do you think that there will be a time that you will be done. Is this just a phase your marriage is going thru, or is it something that you enjoy and will keep doing as long as you both can. What makes you wanna do this lifestyle....what drew you to it in the first place? What keeps you coming back for more? Is one of you in to it more so then your partner? Have you ever decided that you were done, but found yourself right back at it? Share your stories!!!
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