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Swinger & 🦄 Bait - An experiment to attract swingers and unicorns. - Wtf?
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - Thanks for the responses, I understand why it would take that extra comfort. Hopefully I can find that lucky lady one day soon!
Symbol Question - -
WEFLY,
Not a guru, just takin a guess. Amy could be correct in that it maybe referencing swingers. LOL. I was going for the literal approach.
-Don-
Proud member of
Swingers dying out? - Is the utah swinger community dying or becoming to needy? - I'm guessing whether you think things are dying out, is a matter of peperspective. If you have a certain kind of couple you are looking for and want to meet someone new every weekend, I'm guessing the well will run dry quickly.
We have very little time, so even meeting a few people here and there can be tough to schedule.
I see events, parties and booty calls listed all the time...add in the messages, friend requests (which are usually useless), and new people joining (whom you can choose to say hi to or not), and honestly, I'm not sure how anyone has time for it all to the point of saying the swing scene is dying. Guess we're just too new to remember the good old days. But as far as we can tell, there are a lot of nice, fun people to get to know...and simply not enough time to.
Age quesiton - Do swingers of the same age group swing together? - New to this and am sure there are volumes of info online to this, but I can't find it. Do swingers typically stay in their own age group, or do you swing with whomever you connect with?
Anyone else in or near Daybreak? - We know you are out there! - [quote=PLAYNW3]What ever came of the Daybreak swingers Facebook page? Is it active and being used?[/quote]
pretty slow. a couple people talk and post pics. most people just lurk. We need more people. Could be a great group
"Swinger Robots"?? - WtF?, Now, on top of everything else, we have to worry about Robot Swingers? - Obviously, tongue in cheek (probe in USB slot, whatever) - but the new login kinda sucks.
What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - I'm home bored, so stop here if you don't want to read a bunch of shite. lol.
I think we both entered the lifestyle with some preconceived notions of what the people in the LS would be like, but that was mostly from our limited experience with being vanilla and having LS peeps try to hit on us. It just seemed creepy, desperate and gross at the time. We assumed most of the players would be super aggressive, ready to fuck anyone and have zero interest in relationships outside of sex. Our initial entry was simply to watch and be watched. We quickly learned that there are just as many wonderful people in the LS as out of it. Maybe more. There will always be the outliers, the few percentage on each end of the spectrum that are more extreme, but that happens in any population. Overall, it was a happy surprise. So that would be a negative expectation that wasn't met.
As far as things we were hoping would happen or expectation that weren't met, we have very few. But we also went into the labyrinth without really expecting or assuming anything. I don't think we were naive enough to think that this segment of the population was somehow immune from the social characteristics that reveal themselves in any other social class or group. You will always have the "cool kids" the "shy people" the "jocks" the "geeks" the people who classify themselves as the "pity party" and blame the world for their problems. Those things will exist anywhere and should. Swingers are a diverse group of people with a few, maybe very few, common goals. Those goals I think are to meet others with social deviancy and those interested in expanding their sexual experiences or simply to meet new friends. Swinging, in itself, doesn't solidify your beliefs in anything else (politics, food preferences, choice of travel location, or even how or what you are looking for as swingers). I think that is where expectations can fail. If a person goes into a situation thinking, "I/we think "x" so everyone else must think "x" as well", they are bound to be disappointed. I've said this a lot of times, the lifestyle is not black and white. Life isn't black and white. There will be frustrations around every turn if you allow yourself to be duped into thinking your way of thinking is more than just your viewpoint, that it is universal to everyone. I see people complaining of flakes, people who meet once then run away, etc. That's how they roll. That's their truth. It's what they are comfortable with or wanting and who am I to judge. That being said, I don't have to associate with them and hopefully learn how to avoid that situation or become more efficient at finding people with similar interests. The lifestyle is work. Sometimes a lot of work. I think it's foolish to think that it should be easy to find 4 people who all jive. Think about how many people you have dated before settling on the right one for you. And to assume that somehow changes in the lifestyle and that after chatting on kik for a few weeks then meeting over drinks will somehow magically connect you. Ugh. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. But I wouldn't expect it. For others, the thought of any connection past the one-nighter is absurd. Why would you want to make friends with your fuck-buddies? It may be too risky and cause too many emotions. Point is, we are all different and that is what makes the journey so beautiful.
And, just a note about flakes, since it is a recurrent theme. Yes, maybe there are more flakes in the lifestyle, but I'm guessing it's specifically related to the nature of the LS. Swinging for some can be very intimidating and frightening. Sometimes the chase is much more fun than the fucking. Not excusing them that do flake, it seems a problem for sure, but I think I understand, at least in part, why it happens so much. There is so much social pressure not to be in the lifestyle and most were brought up without it being the normal way to live. So society is telling us we are wrong, gross, deviant, etc. Add to that the fear of actually getting naked and fucking someone else and it can cause a lot of anxiety in some. When we first started we were petrified to even go the parties thinking it was going to be a fuck/rape fest. lol. Turned out we were wrong but it was a learning process. Lastly, if you are already treading carefully and the couple/person you are supposed to be meeting gives off any bad vibes, maybe flaking is best. It's hard not to hurt someone's feelings and honesty isn't always what happens. I know we have been honest with couples and it turned into a shit-show. Why don't you like us? If you only meet us and give us a chance we can prove we are wonderful. Other's like us, why don't you. It's hard to be honest at times about why there isn't a connection. May flaking be a way to spare feelings? I don't know. There are probably a plethora (Hefe, do you know what a plethora is?)of reasons people flake and some of those my be that they are just douches. But likely there are other people that aren't and are just trying to get out of a situation they are unfamiliar with. Avoid the douches but maybe give those others a second chance.
Evil: always good topics you bring to the table. So you think because people like sex they should be good at it? I know a lot of people who love food but suck at cooking. haha. Maybe having too many options on the table can also make people lazy. I don't have to try hard if I know tomorrow is another partner. To some it's the quantity and not the quality. But I can see why the expectation would be there.
All in all we really have no complaints. It's been a fascination journey. Some ups, some downs, but always and adventure. We will keep our expectations low, both of ourselves and those around us. Less disappointment that way. I'm going back to sitting in my underwear, drinking a beer and watching TV. Zero expectations. haha. :)
Mr. SRO
Trying new things . . . - Is it worth it? - We have met some great friends off swingular and AFF. The Key word is "meet". Meeting DOESN'T mean sleeping with..We have those that we play with and those that we don't. The great thing about having swingers as friends..You don't have to be all hush hush about sex.
Game for Swingers - Has anyone heard of a new game for lifestyle couples called Titillation? - I have been looking for good and creative ideas to create an adult software "board" game. Things you could bet / buy, dare etc.
If anyone has some good ideas it would be interesting to hear them
