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Here's something Ive been curious about - - Congrats on 10 years in the lifestyle, SLOW. We're old timers as well and have been doing this off and on since shortly after we got married. Over 25 years now! So I guess I can sort of see both points of view and contrary to the current rather negative societal attitude towards political correctness I have no trouble being firmly on the side of being kind to people and not labeling or belittling anyone regarding their participation in the lifestyle. Having said that, however, I can also see the viewpoint of some couples since when we first started swinging there really were no singles (or at least so few that we never met any) actively participating in the lifestyle. A few years later we met a few singles who would, say, hire a hooker to gain access to parties and events or sometimes convince a friend to act as sort of a swinging "beard" if you will, again to gain entry to swinging events. This was all pre-internet so connecting was considerably more difficult than it is now. To say that the internet changed swinging (for better or worse) is a HUGE understatement. I was talking to a guy (formerly single but now in a couple) recently about his experiences as both a SM and a couple in the lifestyle. His attitude had actually changed dramatically. It reminded me of former smokers who now are militantly anti-smoking. His argument (now that he's no longer single) was to take the couples and the singles and put them on separate websites and what do you have? He said you have a swingers site and a hookup site. I told him that there are some couples who actually seek out singles over other couples but he wasn't easily dissuaded. One final point he made that I thought perhaps was a valid point...he said when he first started out as a SM in swinging he thought that all or most of the married guys who enjoyed seeing their wives getting fucked were basically cuckolds or at very least not real men. He said it took him many years and a lot of different experiences to lose that mindset. He also said that now that he's part of a couple who is frequently contacted by single guys he sees that attitude (because he recognizes it from when he had it) far more often than not. He stated that he would guess that the VAST majority of those single guys who don't "get it", the bad apples if you will, the ones who ruin it for the few good guys have that attitude and mindset. He said that's why there will probably always be somewhat of a schism between singles and couples. Whew, that was a long fucking post. Hope it made sense. No more herb before posting, Mr. Evil! LOL
What is up with Utah?! - Swingers in Utah and nowhere else? - Utah still remains the proverbial Mecca of swinging (at least of the places we have traveled/lived); we can't wait to come back!
In fact, I think we shall hit the road tonight.... :)
J&L
Black Rings - Do Swingers really? - We wear black rings right hand ring finger. Also upside down pineapple is a swinger identifier. Pink flamingos are supposed to mean swingers present (lots of vanillas have them also).
Swingers Party - Doesnt mean who ever is there is open to everyone elsa - there are always assholes in this world but we are lucky they are not the majority. not to be to philisophical but if you allow them to alter your choices of what you can or want to do then they win. don't let the bastards win . because we lose also . keep going to parties , groups , and socials. just my two cents.
PICTURE SURFERS HANG A 180 LOL - - Here is one for ya......Has every one been seeing those ads , on swinger sites mind you, that say "We are looking for friends MAYBE more". Did they forget what site they were on. This isn't the place to be "wishy washy". If your here you need to be serious and not waisting serious swingers time. If your saying MAYBE you should take a little more time and be very sure that this is for you. Does anyone agree?
To Bi or not to Bi. - - Society has imposed a morality code on most of us at one time or another be it through religion or laws. Lets admit it we are animals and although we may not act that way often, sex is one of the most basic animal instincts. Acting on those urges if you are a swinger means you can have sex with others and not fall into the societal guilt and jealousy others may feel. When we meet new swingers this seems to be one of the most difficult things to overcome.
We do not judge those who are bi no matter whether they are male or female. We are just not into it. She will kiss and fondle breast but its for show not enjoyment. He does mind if men touch because of proximity but he has no desire to be with another man sexually. We do not judge others who do and we have play friends where both male and female are bi and it does not scare us.
One last comment about labels. If someone is bi it does not mean they are gay or homosexual or lesbian unless they choose to be. Everyone should be able to choose their own label for their sexuality and who fucking cares what someone else says.
Mormons - - Actually, there are active Mormons who swing. They just don't follow all the guidelines of the church. It's not that it makes them inactive, just maybe not so good at following doctrine.
I used to be very active. Temple attending, garment wearing, teaching Primary and Relief Society. Yep, that was me.
Then I realized that was not what I truly wanted and I left the church.
I've met a few couples active in the church yet were active swingers.
Ali
Preferences? - - AHHH.NO! DON that is not what I am refering to..anyone who thinks eating Human or any other bodily waste IS EROTIC is very MUCH DISTURBED..that is for DrPhil to handle.I mean IF you have these THINGS that YOU need TO GET OFF..THEN when those THINGS become nonexsistent anymore to you..ie-LOOKS...HAIR...PENIS or whatever then do you just HANG IT UP because you ARENT PHYSICALLY attracted to ANYONE??I think there are ALOT of SO-called SWINGERS who are nothing more than self centered people.There is a movie that came out in the 70's called SWINGERS it dealt alot with the differnt personal VIEWS of everyone in the movie.As for me I am an equal oppurtunity swinger..TO exclude anyone..just becaue your dick dosent get hard at the site of them is purely ludicrous..because that is the whole basis of marriage to be married to that ONE person that DOES everthing for you..so why would you Wife-Swap..Swing or participate in ANY extra marital activities?At one time or another EVERYONE thinks about someone or something else besides their own mate..NOW that dosent mean that you love or desire your mate ANY LESS..We all have little nuances that our mates dont have..so just to say that I HAVE to be attracted to someone JUST to have sex ...I dont know sounds sort of suspect to me of something else involved ..THATS just MY opion...Bye KattNJohn
seniors - why is it so difficult to find senior swingers or single ladies? - interesting how when sin realized how much an ass they made of themselves and knew they just limited any potential playmates, they deleted the rant on old people.
Go turn on Oprah - re:swingers - Yes I agree, it was a very positive interview.
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