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50 shades - - Hire a boy scout for the night to teach you some knots. He could even earn a merit badge out of it. It's win win. And they say swingers don't do anything good for the community.
How Do you Find Out - Question about Friends - Also listen to the language they use. We have picked out other swingers by how they talk..
Swinging/Polyamory - I just wanted to hear other people thoughs on this....... - We think the problem is that people see the equation "sex = love". IOW, if I have sex with you, I must love you. Therefore polyamory and swinging are the same. After all, if I don't love you, I won't be having sex with you.
The way I see it, swinging is like a game of golf or tennis. I might play a game with you but I don't love you. Similarly, I might have sex with you but I don't love you.
Poly, IMO, is basically having a relationship with that other person and sex is involved on some level. Kinda like "I'm in love with you and oh, BTW, lets make love"
The way we see it, swinging is about exchanging sexual partners for recreation sex. In an orgy situation at a party, you can have sex with that person with zero words exchanged. In a poly relationship, there is a real connection going on besides just sex. Sex becomes incidental just like it is with married couples.
With swinging, there is no emotional attachment. Is that a good thing? Well, it depends. We need to understand the very simple nature of things. We do this to avoid that. That is human nature. Many swingers DON'T want emotional attachments and avoid them because of the complications they cause in the first one. Are there benefits to the attachments? You bet. Is there a price to pay for that benefit? But of course. Is it worth it to you? That depends on your viewpoint.
In our life as a couple, the problems poly cause BASED ON OUR OPINION (your's may vary and no right and wrong here) do not outweigh the payoff. IOW, we don't think the benefits of a poly relationship are worth the problems it creates based on our opinion. YMMV
Why are there so many swingers from Utah? - - Like so many have already said so well before us, its because we are a deprived, sheltered, ultra-conservative state being hidden from life
Swingers cars??? - What ya driving?? - SS Camaro
Do the booty calls actually work? - - [quote=WETANDHARDUTCPL]It does work, but your location does turn alot of potential swingers away. . Just something about going out of state. Come out to Wendover this saturday night and have some fun with us.[/quote]
Yes Wendover isn't out state...lol :) we love you guys
Is HABITS still the place to go? - - however if some of us pitched in on making club Edge an AWESOME swingers club that would be great!!!
The sound system is soooo high tech and sounds great. They have some of the top dj's in the area. completely awesome!!!
There is private area for conversation or VIP reasons and private booths.
It has a huge dance floor with lots of extra room to socialize. Huge back area for smoking and socializing too.Every party thrown there has been off the roof and sooooo much fun for everyone including all of the single people out there too.
The staff is soooooo nice and great with their customers. The drink prices are not to pricey and drinks taste very good with full flavor not watered down like some of the other bars.
May be worth looking into for more parties in the future?!!
WHERE'S THE FUN IN PARADISE - Where are all the fun swingers in Hawaii - I've been back in Honolulu now for almost a month, and hardly see any forum postings about parties or get togethers here in paradise. What gives people? Isn't Hawaii supposed to be paradise? Fun in the tropical sun? If there are any parties or get togethers I sure would like to know. I'm respectable and very respectfull of others. I know the proper etiquet in a party situation. Just hoping that people who are swingers that might travel here know where to go for fun.
Playing Alone - - Couples all have different rules. Many categorically refuse to play alone with ANYONE ever. This is their "security" place. They feel comfortable in the place where they can see each other and "protect" if necessary. It takes some people a long time to get passed this.
It's kind of a 'control' thing leftover from the vanilla life. I'm not saying it's bad, good or indifferent it's just the way it is. Some people take longer to get passed their histories as vanillas than others. As they progress and get more comfortable with themselves, the lifestyle, their partners then they will slowly open up and begin to trust a bit more.
Don't take it personally, that's the key. Many people still hang on to their vanilla background that their partners are their most 'valued' possession. I liken it to my $450 deep sea fishing reel. Sure I'll loan it to someone to use if I'm on the boat with them and can make sure they're taking care of it. Is there anyone I'd just let 'borrow' it out right for the day or weekend? Not a chance in hell.
It takes time to let go of that 'she's/he's mine' get feeling. I think my wife and I took almost 6 years before we got there successfully. We tried many times before that but it never worked out well for either of us. We finally came to a point where it's okay to play separately everything from next room to next state it no longer bothers us. I personally prefer within 30 - 50 miles so she get's home faster for the "after play" sex you're describing (which I really like too.)
You'll have to find a VERY secure, VERY established, VERY strong couple to fulfill your fantasy. They are out there, my wife and I for example but even though we're open to playing separately are we open to YOU playing with her or me separately? That's a different level of trust. Does it mean no? No. It means "maybe" in time it's a possibility. (I'm speaking hypothetically of course.)
Don't worry your "couple" or "person" will come along. You might also try investigating a subsection of the lifestyle called "hotwifeing" while I know few swingers who are hardcore into only hotwifing, there are quite a few that tip toe in that part of the lifestyle (quick def, she plays he doesn't except with her.) That's the post play joy for you and the play and post play joy for her. Most people just bounce between that and swinging. There are people out there just be patient and don't expect it from any current playmates that you have established rules with, they need to progress at their own speed.
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - K_T, hmmm...now I can't wait to see what you and Mr. Two come up with, though remember Mrs. K_T and I probably have a few really good ideas of our own too ;)
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