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Exclusive Couples - couples who are committed to another couple - Ok! You have heard from someone who is poly....ME. But we are still swingers and no one expects us to be exclusive either.... anymore than we expect them to remain true to us and us alone. Polyamorous is a conjunction of a Greek and a Latin word. Means to love more than one.....I don't fall in love with everyone that we have sex with but I do have 2 secondary relationships. One woman is separated and we met her in the lifestyle.. We love, yes WE love her as much as people can feel love. The other were seeing what swinging was about and came to a club that we attend. The lady and I started talking and then on line and we discovered that we loved each other. I stopped by their house and talked to her husband and we, that couple and us are great friends and she and I are lovers.... and everything is open and above board. Recently while I was in the hospital from a heart attack, they came to visit everyday. So poly really isn't about swinging at all but there are poly people in swinging who are looking for exclusive relationships... I let people know that I'm poly because if the lady and I hit it off...... I don't want any surprises... BUT I never go looking for that type of loving relationship in the swinging community, i.e., "the lifestyle"
I think that some people use the word without a true understanding of what poly really is... Poly can involve sexual relationships but those are based on love not sexual recreation. My wife is not basically poly however, she loves that lady who is not attached as much as I do... so in a way she may be poly but does not wish to define herself that way.
When talking about poly and swinging one has to make a distinction as to what people are looking for in a relationship. And, let's not kid ourselves...swinging and sex with people outside of your marriage or relationship is really a relationship aleit maybe a short lived one but one all the same.
I'm just a person who can and does love more than one person. Like being hetro or BI or whatever..... that's just part of my make up.. I have chosen to be a swinger and if it lead to something I hope that I have let people know ahead of time and found out their feelings on that possibility... If they are not open to that but are sexually attracted, then we can keep it on that basis and I simply have to be aware. I think it can best be analoged to a couple or one of the partners in a couple being bi. They find a couple to play with but that couple are not bi or have no curiosity in that bent.... So they play and the bi part is never an issue because they discussed it beforehand and everybody was fine with the situation....
I belong to a poly group here in my state. the group is more a discussion group although they get together once a month and every mon or Fri to discuss poly issues. Most of the people who are in that group, over 300, will say that poly and swinging are two entirely separate issues and they are totally unrelated. There are a number of members, both single and couples, who are also listed on swinger sites....They are looking for sexual companionship and maybe, if it happens, loving relationships... So poly and swinging are not so exclusive nor does it mean that poly swingers are only looking for LTRs any more than bi women will only play with couples who have bi women in them.... Being poly of Bi ain't an issue...playing is...
There may be some who are in the lifestyle to find lovers... Easy to find out and make a decission about....
Swingers Next Door! - ABC news story on Swinging! - To me, it's the feeling couples go through in the first 6 months of being new in the LS!
Wishbones - - We were invited to a meet and greet awhile back and hung around the lounge for several hours waiting for the couple who invited us. We found out later that most of the couples at the club were swingers, but as it was not a swinger's club, we were hesitant to approach perfect strangers and ask if they were swingers. Getting a black eye or broken teeth is not our idea of a good time! A symbol of swingularity (lol) would have been useful in this situation.
Vegas: Swingers circle or couples oasis? - Which do I prefer - Never been to swinger circle. We were told about couples oasis when we lived in Vegas by other locals. WD have been to the green door , red rooster and couples oasis. And out of all three couples oasis was the one I liked the best. It is the only one that does not allow single guys. Nothing against them but in that kind of setting they tend to give off that creepy feeling. Anyways it kinda like the manor there is a cover and it would is BYOB. There's a bar with a dance floor. Pool tables with a snack area. A group play area and some private play areas also a outdoor pool. During the summer I think they have pool parties on Sunday. Out of the 3 it is the only one I would go back to.
Black Ring - Who has theirs and how have they caught on? - We both have black rings and have worn them in public and to places like Habits, etc.. And we've done this off and on for well over 10 years (when we first became aware of what seems to be more or less a swinging urban legend). To date we have NEVER been approached by another couple and asked if we were swingers or anything close to it. Maybe we're just fugly and nobody wants to fuck us but the whole black ring thing is a big FAIL IMHO. Even if it ever did catch on it probably wouldn't take more than a few days to a few weeks for it to get out on social media, etc., and everyone would be looking for swingers with black rings in public (not unlike times we've gone to takeovers and had to wear wrist bands and it quickly got out to hotel staff, other guests, etc. that people wearing wrist bands were there for a swinger event). Most people (not all) involved in swinging really don't want their vanilla friends, family or coworkers...or even strangers to know they're swingers. Most vanillas pretty much classify swingers as worse people than Ashley Madison cheaters and used car salesmen. Much easier in our opinion to "meet" people at dedicated meet and greets or parties or here and other places online than to hope for serendipitous encounters out in public.
Real Party in Orlando Area - - A party is being planned for real Swingers! Not into social hour first, come ready to have fun when you walk in the door!
Swingers in a vanilla bar... - - In my experience, try to ask an innocent question, as in, 'Have you ben to *insert name of local swing club*?'
Policing Ourselves - Can it be done? - Policing ourselves, can it be done? NO!
Advice for a newbie, LOL! I would say "RUN, run away as fast as you can!"
Seriously the first thing I would say to a new person/couple is "What ever you think swinging is, its not."
I think that with each couple comes different rules, as well as with each different scenario. How can you have a set precedence with as many different types of people that are even on this site alone? Let alone in the lifestyle.
I have often wondered why swingers would even have rules, I think the lifestyle is about the moment and with each moment you should take it as it comes. But that's just my opinion.
To set ground rules is to invite anarchy. Why bother?, a person either has respect, or they don't period. For every rule you could come up with someone could justify breaking it.
My 2 cents.
~K~
RECOGNIZING OTHER SWINGERS - Outside of clubs & parties. - I have always just asked...
Swinging Events....what do you think? - - To Fellow Swingers & Friends
We are planning on throwing a swingers party in Los Angeles within the next few months and we are looking for positive and negative feedback with regards to your past party experiences. Please take the time to respond to this email so we can better provide an overall and fun experience for the LA party. Please consider what made the party successful and what would you like to see different? Who knows...maybe we will have one here in SLC soon.
Looking forward to receiving your feedback,
Thanks again,
Adam & Leigh
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