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Then there's this. - Enjoy! - I’ll be honest and say I feel terrible jumping into this online mess again. It seems there are so many tools out there for all of us to point fingers, argue, and simply divide us all.
I shouldn’t have jumped in and helped turn something that was likely meant to be funny into another argument. Everyone has the right to feel safe and secure and I hope you do whatever you need to do that, I just hope people tread lightly pushing those views onto others.
EVILDOERS Has always been a refreshing light on this forum with great advice for newbs and the funniest twist on everything. I apologize.
Hopefully I can do better and only add positivity to our great Utah swingers community to make 2021 better.
RECOGNIZING OTHER SWINGERS - Outside of clubs & parties. - They did wrist bands before with some numbers that meant swingers. But I think it's much easier and straight-forward to come here.
what the f#%@ was he thinking? - swingers still deserve respect - That is totally over the top. We see a few single guys from time to time and would never have anyone who messaged like that meet us. That is not only in poor taste but one stupid guy! I don't know what some of these guys think! If you want to succeed be a gentleman and send a nice message respecting my wife.
How to find other swingers - - If we're in a crowd of people and we want to find others, we wear our shirts that say "We love the lifestyle". The words are not in big bold letters across the front and back of the shirt and on a mens shirt they appear on the left chest and on women's they appear across the middle of the shirt.
To most straight couples they wouldn't even know nor pay attention since the words are not just "out there" - they are tastefully done. BUT - others in the lifestyle will pick up on them immediately.
Ldscouple74 - Are there any active LDS couples here - [quote=DANDTCURIOUS]LDS swingers? ...isn’t that’s like an oxymormon lol 😂🤣😂[/quote]
No more so than Catholic swingers, or Baptist swingers, or Jehovah's Witness swingers or Muslim swingers (I could go on.). All of which we've met over the years. You can certainly question how someone might rationalize fucking other people recreationally with belief in any given religion, most of which I'm certain wouldn't condone swinging. But it's not really all that different from how most people in the vanilla world view sexual fidelity even when religion isn't in play.
Fun places you have had sex.. in public. - - my own bed because this damn swingers are always using our house as a damn frat house on most weekends
BUSTED! Your Kids Found Out Your Swingers. Now What? - - IMO, you wouldn't explain yourself about your monogamous "vanilla" sex life or activities, so why would you about this?
The subject of this thread was about your kids finding out. I'm not sure what age group of kids we're talking about and that can make a big difference. If they are adult children, you can simply tell them you are sorry they had to find out about it and regret that it makes them uncomfortable but it is your private life and will leave it there...in private. I think it is wise to reassure them that you will not do anything to embarrass them (start acting differently around them or other family members, etc.) and that nothing between you and them will change. Before they found out you were still the parent they loved and this will continue now.
If they are young children, it can be a little more complicated. The questions aren't just about the lifestyle but also about sex since they are probably learning and curious about the topic in general. But, you could keep it very simple (& age appropriate) and explain that sex is something adults enjoy privately and that if they have any questions about sex (emphasis not on swinging) you will be happy to answer.
If they pursue asking about swinging, I would just share that this is something better explained when they are a little older and that honesty and communication are valued so you will try to be as honest as you can be. However, you don't need to go into detail IMO. Often, kids are looking more for your reaction and some reassurance and aren't quite as concerned with the actual "words". They want to know their world isn't being disrupted.
The rest of your post mentioned family members, etc. Again, you would never feel obligated sit around and discuss the details of a vanilla sex life so it isn't necessary to discuss the details of swinging.
You could share that if someone has a private question they would like to ask they can if that's the kind of relationship you have with them. But, you can also add that you will only do so if comfortable.
I might stress or emphasize that you and your partner have an open and honest relationship that you enjoy together. There are a number of factors that go into enhancing that relationship making it so special and that they've stumbled onto one area that you've incorporated/explored. You appreciate that it might not be for everyone and you wouldn't expect everyone to understand but that you sincerely hope they would also be as considerate to not judge the two of you. I might add that while you've tried to be candid when answering their questions, you only ask in return that they respect your privacy and not share what they've learned or discussed with anyone else. Include them into the agreement by explaining that you will extend to them the same discretion they extend to you.
Who knows...one of them may have been curious about exploring the lifestyle and you might just be that one person they feel comfortable asking about it.
At the same time, people can be very judgemental so protect yourselves. However these family members found out...it could happen again if that avenue hasn't been fixed. I'm sorry this got so long-winded and I could write so much more. Whew!!! Good luck with this!
Black Ring, Right Hand - How to tell if someone's a swinger - [quote=EVILDOERS]And personally we don't find it very inhibiting to walk into a bar or a restaurant and not be able to tell immediately who is and isn't a swinger. [/quote]
You've never met a hot couple in a grocery store and thought "Damn.. those two are HOT.. I wonder if they are swingers.."
If you say no, I don't believe you. =)
Black Rings - Do Swingers really? - I just finished my new ring today, 7/24/21. Black ceramic with crushed jeweled inlay.
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Single male in this lifestyle.. - I have questions for couples and single females. - Heya Josh. These are all extremely well thought out responses. Take them to heart. I'd also like to add that quite a few couples opt to have the man from a friendly, familiar, and secure couple fill the role of the second man from time to time. Most of the people here have healthy, loving, and established lives with someone they trust deeply. The less in-roads for unstable elements, the better.
Don't take it personally. When I was active as part of a couple screening all the single men was a chore. There is an unfortunately well-deserved stigma tied to single men in this scene. Many figure that swingers are an easy lay and end up simply being a nuisance, or worse, a creep or downright menace. Disrespect and deception abound. That's not a personal knock as I don't know ya.
Be smart. Be respectful. Don't fret if you're not a hot commodity. It's the nature of the scene.
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