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sluts? what? - how so? - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]There is a book called "The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities" written by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy that defines Slut in a positive light. They might be using slut in that context. The book has been very popular with swingers for quite a few years. [/quote]
I would hope they are using it in that sense.. but words that compile around the slut term make it strongly seem like it's a negative term.. sadly..
Why are there so many swingers from Utah? - - We were actually considering moving home to Florida at summer's end! Maybe a 2500 mile detour out west is in order?
Florida does seem to be the swinging mecca of the US. We have lived in Texas, California, and Florida and have have noted that South Florida (which should lose any such contest based on the population count alone) boasts 3 of the worlds best swingers clubs; atleast by NASCA's tally.
We are fairly good friends with the owners of two of the other popular paid sites, and they are based in Florida, so the Floridian member count is very high.
We helped to launch one in 2003 (a new swingers website) and it was 100% Floridian until we moved up here to Maryland, bringing the gospel of the (adult) "private adventure" with us. Our repeated attempts to convert the local natives to morally casual, sexually enlightened beings have met with limited success. (There are far more churches here than 7-11's, so I fear it will be a long and hard fought battle.)
Go 'head Utah. Do your thing!
Luvbugs! (mR.) ;)
May 2014 Swinger's Cruise out of Los Angeles - Mexican Riviera Cruise for Swingers. - Looking for any Swingular members who are going to be on the cruise. It would be nice to know some couples prior to going.
Couples and Single Males party - - It would be great fun, and a chance to get to know more swingers, broaden all our horizons ( maybe I just have broads on my horizon, stupid thinking).
How long did it take to convince ? - - We talked about the fantasy of being in the lifestyle together before we started it. As said before, fantasy and reality are two different things. We weren't ready for a date with another couple yet because we were afraid of expectations or problems arising from things that we hadn't thought about. So, we thought going to a swingers club might be a good way to learn about it. There are no expectations and we could ask advice from others.
But, we were so paranoid about running into someone we knew at a club here in Vegas, where we live. So, we decided to check out the possibilities out of state. lol. We went to Sea Mountain Inn in Palm Springs. It was the first time we were both completely nude in front of others. That was a great beginning as we quickly realized that no one was staring at us. We actually became very comfortable quickly. We did notice a lot of sexual activity. But again, that activity seemed normal to everyone there. We met a lot of great people who were willing to give us friendly advice. We commented how everyone seemed so normal. Even though we went with no expectations, we were given an opportunity to be with another couple, who had a nice "no Pressure" style. Privately, my wife and I discussed our boundaries or any other concerns. After we worked it all out, we agreed to play with the couple and loved it! Ten years later, we are so glad we joined the lifestyle.
So maybe, you should try coming to Vegas and go to a swingers club. Check out the scene, talk to some people, and form your own opinions. The club will be as tame or as wild as you want it to be.
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - It is becoming more common now. Women are opening up to it. It took a long time for anal to become the next best thing but it did. It all depends on the woman. Good luck in finding the right one.
Help us out.. Take this Survey - For Utah Swingers - C's get degrees right? Done
Wife alone - Washington D.C. - 1. The Crucible
2. Swingers - The Crazy Golf Club
3. Ivy & Coney
4. Hotel Madera
5. Bar Nun
6. Five Iron Golf
7. The Exchange
single males - - Thank you for opening the topic. I hope that it will be used shed some insight and not just complain.
In a place like Habits there are vanilla singles that have no clue that swingers congregate there. So there will naturally be more problem in that environment than a private party.
At a house party the only people that should be there are those that are invited by the host and hostess. Every one of the guests should have known the rules or etiquette of this lifestyle. If you had complaints, they should have been addressed last night with the hosts. Evidently the balance you were looking for was not there.
Sadly it is difficult for most singles to figure out how to talk to a swinging couple. There are no schools or training centers to teach this. As a single male, conversation at a vanilla party with a couple is much easier. Most often the men and women separate and we talk with one or the other without expectations on either side. Sometimes conversation is just conversation.
I find that making friends is generally more difficult in this lifestyle because of the sexual expectations of many. I think that you will find a number of the single men, after getting the cold shoulder from many husbands, find it easier to attempt to talk to the women because they lack the skills to talk with both. It is a mistake but it is also part of the learning process.
There is no excuse for rude behavior on the part of the single male but neither is there an excuse for the typical married male attitude. Single males are always and have always been a pariah and dam few couples want them at any party. I came into this lifestyle as a single male looking to make male friends to hang with that would help me understand the rules. I found most of the males were cold and suspicious and difficult to talk with.
I was not looking for women to play with nearly as much as I was looking for a girlfriend that was already in the lifestyle. But I am sure that as far as most were concerned all I wanted to find was their wife
What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - For us, one of the things that surprised us was that all swingers were not extremely gifted and intuitive lovers. We kind of expected to be out of our league with a group of people who, having ostensibly had sex with a lot of people, would be extremely adept at the art of making love but with maybe a few exceptions we were very wrong. LOL
Another big shock was what terrible kissers most swingers are. It's funny, many of them THINK they are good kissers but our experience has been that most seem to have all the skills of a 10th grade high school vigin when it comes to sensuous kissing. Has anyone else found many of their play partners to be extremely lacking when it comes to kissing skills?
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