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Translating Personals/Swingers Ads - - HOW TO TRANSLATE PERSONAL ADS:
WOMEN'S ADS
40-ish...................................49
Adventurer...........................Slept with all your friends
Athletic................................No boobs
Average looking...................Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful...............................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated..............................Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure...............Medicated
Feminist...............................Fat ballbuster
Free spirit............................Junkie
Friendship first.....................Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun......................................Annoying
Gentle..................................Comatose
Good Listener......................Borderline Autistic
New-Age............................All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned......................Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded......................Desperate
Outgoing..............................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate............................Sloppy drunk
Poet.....................................Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional..........................Certified Bitch
Redhead...............................Bad dye-job
Reubenesque........................Grossly Fat
Romantic..............................Looks better by candle light
Social...................................Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray
Voluptuous...........................Very Fat
Height/weight proportional....Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate...................Stalker
Widow.................................Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart. ....................Old bat
--------
MEN'S ADS
40-ish.....................................52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic...................................Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking......................Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated................................Will patronize the shit out of you
Free Spirit..............................Banging your sister
Friendship first.......................As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun........................................Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking.........................Arrogant
Very good looking..................Dumb as a board
Honest....................................Pathological Liar
Huggable................................Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle.......................Insecure mama's boy
Mature...................................Older than your father
Open-minded.........................Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit............................Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet.......................................Wrote ex-girlfriend's phone number on a bathroom stall
Sensitive.................................Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive.........................Gay
Spiritual..................................Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable.....................................Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful...............................Says "Excuse me" when he farts
network swingers - - It is set in the 1970s?
No fucking thanks, I hate huge bushes of pubic jungle. If the fucking in this show doesn't include shaved hoo hoos and hee haws, I don't wanna watch it.
Game ON....which sign is Hornier...(is that a word?) - zodiac signs of swingers? - Caprihorny...
Capricorn on the cusp of sag
Can someone enlighten me? - - I'm just curious... like I mentioned in another thread, now that my thong pic isn't our primary profile pic we're suddenly getting a LOT of blind friend requests (well, I assume they're blind because they didn't wanna be BFF's when it was MY ass they were lookin' at.
[em]Emo_59[/em] But I digress. So am I the only one who kinda has a problem accepting a friendship request from people with absolutely no pictures whatsoever in their profiles, little or no info of any kind in the written portion that would lead me to believe we might have anything in common or give me any reason whatsoever to let them look at our private pics in all their glory? I think this would make a good poll. What do you think the number one reason someone would have no pics at all in their profile?
1) They're shy....no, I mean REALLY fucking shy!
2) They don't own a camera, a phone with a camera, know someone who owns a camera or have a pencil to at least draw a stick figure of themselves.
3) They're in the Federal Witness Protection Program.
4) They're internationally famous movie stars and charge for autographed photos.
5) They can't quite figure out all this computer/internet/Instagram shit.
6) They really don't give a fuck but would REALLY appreciate it if we'd open our pics because their fap folder is gettin' low.
7) They're ghosts/vampires/aliens who are physically unable to be photographed.
8) They're not really swingers. They work for the NSA (or the LDS church)
9) None of your damned business. Just open your fucking face pics to them!
Game ON....which sign is Hornier...(is that a word?) - zodiac signs of swingers? - i guess sex wins oh we all win yeah so lets have some sex
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - TPAFUNLUVNCPL2,
It's a preference thing. You are making a statement that covers how those in men in a couple feel that want to have another female to play with. That isn't always the case. There are tons of people out there that are seeking single males. You can pigeon hole everyone into what you think is acceptable. Just because you don't prefer them, doesn't mean others don't. Have an open mind and realize that we're not all here for the same reasons.
You mentioned what do single men bring. What if a guy is trying to please his wife and she wants to MFM and the idea also turns him on, to watch her being DP'd or perhaps he wants to watch or be the cuckold. There is a very diverse people with regard to ssexuality here.
-D-
Mormons - - the2ovus: My response to the mormon question has always been "yes, but I've never been very good at it"
Both hubby and I grew up in lds homes, did what the parents wanted us too - then woke up one day as adults and realized we could actually choose for ourselves what made us happy. I don't think it's a fair judgement (then again is any judgement fair?) to look down upon Mormons who are practicing their religion and practicing in the lifestyle. Maybe they aren't very good at either one just yet! My vote is to encourage them to look within and find out what brings them true inner peace and go with it, no matter the path they choose.
I've never made the connection between the couples that chat till your fingers fall off and never meet to Mormons. I think there are a LOT of scared folks.... just wish I could tell them apart!
Funny thing to me is that no-one ever asks if the couples that are down south are bible bashing baptists and swingers too, just due to their location. Why is it Mormons end up looking like hypocrites when religion is in debate?
*can you tell there are some Mormons in my life I love and will defend with my life?*
Evil's latest poll. Fellas, would you ever... - - And fwiw this "poll" was meant to be facetious and to sort of poke fun at the mores and attitudes and hard dying dogmas of swinging. I'm the last guy who really wants to suck a cock but since I've been a swinger I've occasionally wondered if my aversion to male/male play was something hardwired into me or if it was something society force fed me. We expect swinger ladies to at very least be bi-comfortable yet expect the opposite in men. I just think it's interesting that there exists that double standard and wondered aloud what it might take (if anything) for a totally straight guy to be a little more "flexible". I'm not in anyway advocating that anyone should suck a dick if they don't want to. Happy Hump Day all you naughty nasty swingers! [em]Emo_12[/em]
naked web cam - Who likes to chat naked live web cam - Hi any swingers from utah like to web cam naked
What is it to being a swinger couple - Is it always this way - When you hook up with a couple, you are hooking up to the part of their life they in general want to keep secrete. They don't want you as friends that will filter into their everyday normal life. And there is always times where you know the other couple are great people, but the sex just was not that good. Most all sex is fun, but some sex is way better. You have to be able to sep real life friends and sex friends, its not often they mix well. People have their family, jobs and life in general to protect and don't want you close to any of it or should I say will risk having you close to it. It's not personal, it's reality and swinging is fantacy and you were a booty call. If you find true friends, generally the playing stops. You don't want to risk true friends for a quick piece of bootie. We see swingers who seem to have play friends that work, but if we see them a year later. It has almost always chaged for some reason. So relax, have fun and move on. There will be couples you do not want a play date with again too. :)
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