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Poly-Swingers - Moving beyond FWB relationship - SUMINDYFUN: To attempt to better answer your question, this is what we've experienced/learned in our poly-type relationships...
This is so much more of a complex subject than just a quick "blurb", we like to compare it to guessing a 4 combination lock, you know at least 1 or 2 of the correct numbers... but do you really??? You find out an amazing amount about YOURSELF through this process!
We have seen just about everything emerge, from complete unbelievable bliss to complete unbelievable hurt. However, what we've learned is TOTAL honesty, trust, respect, patience and absolute untethered communication are key! These things can either make or break it and breaking it earlier rather than later is a good thing, because if it breaks later then it usually means one or more people missed one or more of the fore-mentioned items and will cause much greater hurt because of all the time/work that was put in by the others.
BTW, apparently the bliss is much more powerful than the hurt because we keep trying and trying for some reason? Yep, its like a drug and we're addicted! This is why we dont fault any one for not wanting to "step through that door" so to speak. We suggest to any one that they open that door very, very slowly and even walk away for a bit before entering fully.
ABCMAN: You hit the nail directly on the head... from our experiences, social conditioning is extremely difficult for most people to overcome.
Can you be in love AND swing? If so, tell us how! - - The only way any relationship works is mutual respect/love/caring/communication. It doesn't matter if it's a marriage, LTR, or any other possible configuration. As proof I would submit that 60+ to 70+ percentage of marriages, both first and second, fail in the "normal" world. Also in poles taken, 60 to 70% of all married people or people in relationships have had relationships outside of marriage without their partner's knowledge.....i.e., "CHEATING". Swingers can hardly cheat, although it sometimes happens... Divorce in the swinging community is about one quarter of that in the "normal" community. I would submit that the reason for this is
a. the partners respect and love and trust each other as no other group does.
b. the need or want to cheat is virtually eliminated...
c. communication needed for the trust and the ability to work thru hard relationship problems is in place and working well
d. RESPECT for each other as individuals is greatly enhanced. Jealousy is part fear and part possessivness... Fear of loosing, fear that someone is better, fear that they are inadequate.. and many more fears are basiclly absent. And possessivness is not possible if you and your wife or SO are sharing yourself with others.
One thing about swinging.... If your relationship is good, communications are good and your sex life is good .....Swinging might very well work for you, as a couple. If there are any problems, fix them first or stay out of swinging... A good relationship will generall be enhanced by swinging. A relationship with problems will generally magnify problems introduce problems and ultimately cause devistation in that relationship.
You life coach has their head where the sun doesn't shine...and knows not of what he spake...
Amen
2 Year Anniversary Party for Swingers in Knoxville,Tn. - BYOB, On-premise Swingers Party - We have been to several parties at destiny's and we always have fun and we will be there this week-end . If you by be sure to say hello.
Christain Swingers? - - Politics!?! Okay we are out of here!;)
That's one thing that we don't get enough of in this town (grin.)
We really are enjoying reading the different views on here..it's hard to think of not being on these forums.
Have a great saturday night!
A&D
Who are spending thier 3rd saturday night sick or injured...oh well, we will have lots of making up to do in the coming months!:D
Fly-fishing Swingers - New Swingular Group - Char Bloom called me yesterday from Colorado and in our conversation she mentioned that she went to Martha's Vineyard last fall to fish for stripers. That's something I want to do sometime...saltwater striper fly fishing.
Any Swingers out there? Golf swingers that is... - - whos up for friskyb compitition!? Closest to the hole on the 3 pars played scrambel~ Closest to the hole wins the opposing teams panties!
Damn Utah couples! :) - - (This should start a little debate and raise the hair on a few people's necks)
There are many hotties in Utah. Sexy, fun, people who are great to hang with (and play with).
Well.... If you think you want to go to Utah to meet these sexy people, we suggest a visit NOT a permanent relocation.
We lived in Florida for 10 years and then moved our family to Utah for 5 years. Its hard to describe how difficult it is to live a "normal" life in Utah because the Mormons control so much of the total "consciousness" in the state. Especially if your wife and kids are Catholic.
Utah is beautiful and the people are nice. However you almost have to go "underground" in order to have real fun and enjoy things that elsewhere are commonplace. The government, liquor laws, and the social interactions are heavily controlled by the Moron church. The mainstream populace, as well as the non-mormon citizens, are heavily influenced by the Church and because its everywhere... it seems normal. Its hard to see what I'm talking about until you get out of there and look back.
Utah is a great place to visit, a great place to ski and play, but its definitely not "The Place" for free-thinking swingers types.
Disclaimer: I grew up LDS in Utah. Graduated from high school and a major University in Utah before moving out of state. Most of my family is still there. Growing up in Zion everything seems normal until you live elsewhere and move back.... then you realize how the Mormon church controls almost all aspects of life there.
We return to go skiing and visiting family multiple times each year. Its a great place to be from.
Now if you live in Utah, there is no need to get all pissed off and write a diatribe about how much you love your state. I love Utah too. I just hate the heavy-handedness and the hypocrisy of the faithful. There is also no need to try to explain how you get along just fine in the Beehive state... I'm sure you do.
Unless you grew up as a Utah Mormon, moved away for an extended time (no, a mission, or a cruise to Mexico, doesn't count), and then moved back to experience the contrast, you don't have a real understanding what I'm talking about.
:p
BLUEDECEMBER... Rather than travel to Utah for fun.... why not travel to "full-swap land" for an even better adventure??
fantasy football league free trying to get only swingers in leag - free autodraft fantasy football league - actually having 20 teams, makes it more interesting because it is harder for anyone to load a team. Keeps things more even, you can still do trades pick up players off waivers all that to better your team. just makes you look at say the number 2 receiver of a team not just the star.
Serious questions from a newbie.. - - I read that the lack of drug use creates intelligent individuals to leave incredibly lengthy posts about the subject of drugs and their effect on Swingers and the general population!
Let's start a thread about secrets and techniques that increase the frequency and intensity of the male and female orgasm! Now that would be worthy of 4 pages and hundreds of paragraphs... LOL.
I'm just joking with you guys.. Compelling information and well thought out responses. Enjoy what's left of your weekend..
UtHot
Is it a “preference” or is it “ discrimination” - - Omg.. seriously?
Ok. I am really getting tired of all this.. if you don’t then you are a racist.
Ok swingers and single.. let’s push Congress to re-amend the 1964 Civil rights act to create a new cause of action “Failure to fuck a minority” and create a federal regulation requiring members to post “I am an Equal Opportunity Swinger”..
I hope this helps. Ugh...
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