Cedar Falls Swingers in Iowa

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Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - perhaps TEQUILAROSE was confused by my statement, I stated that alot of people have fetish's but I do not know alot of white couples that are interested in black men, not every woman like a cock over 8" either, there are some but we have not met very many and it seems to be a very select group and type of swinger. I am not speaking for all swingers, I am stating what I have seen in the past and my experience in what others have told me about why they do not prefer single men. I can tell you that "I" have had many men tell me that they have a wife or live in gf and that she is "not into it". In reality its safer for a man that is afraid of losing what he has to cheat on his partner in a swinger enviroment because the chances of it coming back to expose him is much less likely, no connections, no ties, no one knows someone that knows the other person, its very safe. Alot of single men have also told me that they feel that they are bringing excitement to a couples relationship that the husband can no longer provide or that the wife is simply bored with her husband and wants another. These misconceptions are what gives single men a bad name. Guys, seriously, as a woman I can tell you just because you get me excited in bed does not mean im falling for you or I just cant wait until I have you again, it does not mean that I do not get excited with my husband and it does not mean I will be with you when he is not there. I am not a booty call, I am not here to give you a safe ticket to adultry, I am a swinger, I believe in the value of a close friendship with others that you can be completely open, some of the best friendships I have ever had were with swingers that wanted FRIENDSHIP and showed RESPECT. In my humble opinion that is my and only MY definition of a swinger. This statement is not meant to represent any other swingers aside from myself so please do not imply that my statements are a canvas for the lifestyle, there was a question, this is my answer and opinion.

Mormons - - They have singles wards, why not swingers wards? :z

What is up with Utah?! - Swingers in Utah and nowhere else? - SWINGERS??? In UTAH??? REALLY??? would someone kindly introduce us to a few so we can try swinging? We have met alot of really sexy people here... but swingers? NO WAY... Isnt it against the law?

becoming a poly couple - wanting another woman to join our family - Prolly not a swingers site. There are actually poly communities on the internet where you can start exploring but be forewarned, a lot of polys abhor the notion of swinging almost as much as the vanilla world does.

Other activities? - Do you only meet swingers for sex? - no,hehe kristylynn

Fly-fishing Swingers - New Swingular Group - in MD we like bay fishing for stripers

KUTV News Story on Swingers - News - Come to the dark side of swinging! We have cookies!

What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - I'm home bored, so stop here if you don't want to read a bunch of shite. lol. I think we both entered the lifestyle with some preconceived notions of what the people in the LS would be like, but that was mostly from our limited experience with being vanilla and having LS peeps try to hit on us. It just seemed creepy, desperate and gross at the time. We assumed most of the players would be super aggressive, ready to fuck anyone and have zero interest in relationships outside of sex. Our initial entry was simply to watch and be watched. We quickly learned that there are just as many wonderful people in the LS as out of it. Maybe more. There will always be the outliers, the few percentage on each end of the spectrum that are more extreme, but that happens in any population. Overall, it was a happy surprise. So that would be a negative expectation that wasn't met. As far as things we were hoping would happen or expectation that weren't met, we have very few. But we also went into the labyrinth without really expecting or assuming anything. I don't think we were naive enough to think that this segment of the population was somehow immune from the social characteristics that reveal themselves in any other social class or group. You will always have the "cool kids" the "shy people" the "jocks" the "geeks" the people who classify themselves as the "pity party" and blame the world for their problems. Those things will exist anywhere and should. Swingers are a diverse group of people with a few, maybe very few, common goals. Those goals I think are to meet others with social deviancy and those interested in expanding their sexual experiences or simply to meet new friends. Swinging, in itself, doesn't solidify your beliefs in anything else (politics, food preferences, choice of travel location, or even how or what you are looking for as swingers). I think that is where expectations can fail. If a person goes into a situation thinking, "I/we think "x" so everyone else must think "x" as well", they are bound to be disappointed. I've said this a lot of times, the lifestyle is not black and white. Life isn't black and white. There will be frustrations around every turn if you allow yourself to be duped into thinking your way of thinking is more than just your viewpoint, that it is universal to everyone. I see people complaining of flakes, people who meet once then run away, etc. That's how they roll. That's their truth. It's what they are comfortable with or wanting and who am I to judge. That being said, I don't have to associate with them and hopefully learn how to avoid that situation or become more efficient at finding people with similar interests. The lifestyle is work. Sometimes a lot of work. I think it's foolish to think that it should be easy to find 4 people who all jive. Think about how many people you have dated before settling on the right one for you. And to assume that somehow changes in the lifestyle and that after chatting on kik for a few weeks then meeting over drinks will somehow magically connect you. Ugh. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. But I wouldn't expect it. For others, the thought of any connection past the one-nighter is absurd. Why would you want to make friends with your fuck-buddies? It may be too risky and cause too many emotions. Point is, we are all different and that is what makes the journey so beautiful. And, just a note about flakes, since it is a recurrent theme. Yes, maybe there are more flakes in the lifestyle, but I'm guessing it's specifically related to the nature of the LS. Swinging for some can be very intimidating and frightening. Sometimes the chase is much more fun than the fucking. Not excusing them that do flake, it seems a problem for sure, but I think I understand, at least in part, why it happens so much. There is so much social pressure not to be in the lifestyle and most were brought up without it being the normal way to live. So society is telling us we are wrong, gross, deviant, etc. Add to that the fear of actually getting naked and fucking someone else and it can cause a lot of anxiety in some. When we first started we were petrified to even go the parties thinking it was going to be a fuck/rape fest. lol. Turned out we were wrong but it was a learning process. Lastly, if you are already treading carefully and the couple/person you are supposed to be meeting gives off any bad vibes, maybe flaking is best. It's hard not to hurt someone's feelings and honesty isn't always what happens. I know we have been honest with couples and it turned into a shit-show. Why don't you like us? If you only meet us and give us a chance we can prove we are wonderful. Other's like us, why don't you. It's hard to be honest at times about why there isn't a connection. May flaking be a way to spare feelings? I don't know. There are probably a plethora (Hefe, do you know what a plethora is?)of reasons people flake and some of those my be that they are just douches. But likely there are other people that aren't and are just trying to get out of a situation they are unfamiliar with. Avoid the douches but maybe give those others a second chance. Evil: always good topics you bring to the table. So you think because people like sex they should be good at it? I know a lot of people who love food but suck at cooking. haha. Maybe having too many options on the table can also make people lazy. I don't have to try hard if I know tomorrow is another partner. To some it's the quantity and not the quality. But I can see why the expectation would be there. All in all we really have no complaints. It's been a fascination journey. Some ups, some downs, but always and adventure. We will keep our expectations low, both of ourselves and those around us. Less disappointment that way. I'm going back to sitting in my underwear, drinking a beer and watching TV. Zero expectations. haha. :) Mr. SRO

seniors - why is it so difficult to find senior swingers or single ladies? - ThoughtGarden, you are so "right on"! KarKar, loved your comments. Anytime Babe!

Playing with \"swingers\" vs \"nonswingers\" - - We try to never let the two groups of friends mix, atleast the topic. His eagerness is a bit scary that he would jump at the chance to do it. I would take it slow and see how it unfolds and not just plan a meeting the next time you get together. I would also keep your other half in on this plan and make sure they are in for it as well. I\'m sure you already do this just hopefully reinforcing what your already thinking. Not sure how much that helped.