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Wannabes and net fakes - Will the real lifestyle members please stand up - We have learned the best phrase to learn quickly in this lifestlye is "NEXT" lets face it this is nothing but a #'s game you have to contact loy=ts to find the few good ones and once you find those good ones it makes all the weeding out of the fakes and flakes worth it. Like we tell people a social meeting or two is fine but we do not intend to date you a year before you decide if you want to play with us or not . We just wish people would have the balls to say at least "no thanks" or tellthe truth they are "wanna" swingers into only the fantasy of it and never really intend to do it. When we find those we simply say "NEXT!"
Norm&Sharon
Here's something Ive been curious about - - Congrats on 10 years in the lifestyle, SLOW. We're old timers as well and have been doing this off and on since shortly after we got married. Over 25 years now! So I guess I can sort of see both points of view and contrary to the current rather negative societal attitude towards political correctness I have no trouble being firmly on the side of being kind to people and not labeling or belittling anyone regarding their participation in the lifestyle. Having said that, however, I can also see the viewpoint of some couples since when we first started swinging there really were no singles (or at least so few that we never met any) actively participating in the lifestyle. A few years later we met a few singles who would, say, hire a hooker to gain access to parties and events or sometimes convince a friend to act as sort of a swinging "beard" if you will, again to gain entry to swinging events. This was all pre-internet so connecting was considerably more difficult than it is now. To say that the internet changed swinging (for better or worse) is a HUGE understatement. I was talking to a guy (formerly single but now in a couple) recently about his experiences as both a SM and a couple in the lifestyle. His attitude had actually changed dramatically. It reminded me of former smokers who now are militantly anti-smoking. His argument (now that he's no longer single) was to take the couples and the singles and put them on separate websites and what do you have? He said you have a swingers site and a hookup site. I told him that there are some couples who actually seek out singles over other couples but he wasn't easily dissuaded. One final point he made that I thought perhaps was a valid point...he said when he first started out as a SM in swinging he thought that all or most of the married guys who enjoyed seeing their wives getting fucked were basically cuckolds or at very least not real men. He said it took him many years and a lot of different experiences to lose that mindset. He also said that now that he's part of a couple who is frequently contacted by single guys he sees that attitude (because he recognizes it from when he had it) far more often than not. He stated that he would guess that the VAST majority of those single guys who don't "get it", the bad apples if you will, the ones who ruin it for the few good guys have that attitude and mindset. He said that's why there will probably always be somewhat of a schism between singles and couples. Whew, that was a long fucking post. Hope it made sense. No more herb before posting, Mr. Evil! LOL
C- A - Any swingers clubs around Salt lake? - [quote=Harleynight12345678]Redemption is a fun spot, or the rusty nail is fun as well.[/quote]
Redemption is fun haven’t heard of the rusty nail so you need a tetanus shot to go there
Kik group for UT swingers. - Contact me if your interested in joining a KIK group for Swingers - Add us sanpetesinners
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - "Ya know.. you are so "FUCKING STUPID" and in my opinion a fucking coward, asshole, moron, scumbag,racist sexist pig fucking ,deserting, lowlife worthless piece of shit.."
Uh, you don't even know me. LOL!
"Wow so that's what it feels like to be on your mentality level? And I use the word kindley.
And once again asshole, you proved my point! You are so uneducated and have no self worth that you must attack personally."
Kindley??? Oh you mean Kindly!
"Seems I read someplace.. now I am not saying this is true, that such anger could be THE SIGNS OF A CHILD ABUSER AND WIFE BEATER..or a victim of abuse..,can't remember where I read that. Remember you told me in previous post.. old.. fat..no memory. "
Wow, thanks for that Doctor Phil.
""YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A CLUE WHEN YOU ARE BEING BAITED.
YOU ARE NO FUN ANYMORE.
I don't like you any more. "
I knew you were addressing me dummy. LOL! It's you that was baited, you that got personal with me. HAHAHAHA! Oh, and I never liked you.
;-)
-D-
P.S.
Secret Swingers Club Ogden, UT - Clubs - The next big event isn't till next month and the codes aren't given out till Friday afternoon usually
asking your swinger friend if you can join them. - - [quote=USSIR]Well, I have a co-worker that I have been friends with for a while and recently found they are a swingers, it wasn't shocking to me or anything just thought it was interesting. So some time has passed and I thought I wonder if I could join them sexually.
To me it would just be awkward to as him that. Obviously I'm not going to ask him "hey can I bang your wife?"
I don't care if it was both of them or just her, I've always thought she was hot and I consider my co-worker a good friend.
So, how do I ask that and/or is it a bad idea?
Thanks
[/quote]
As a single male also in this lifestyle who has faced a similar situation my advice would be to just openly talk about the lifestyle, involve both him and his wife in the convo casually over drinks one night when your just hanging out. Basically plant a seed and see if it grows, realistically if they are into the lifestyle and are open to the idea they will invite you, but its best to let them think its their idea to include you. For some couples it just might be out of bounds to include friends into their sexploits.
Las Vegas - June 5th to 9th - - Damn. Won't be down there that weekend due to family obligations but you really should check out the Topless Pool Party every Saturday. The Evolve Beach Club topless party at the Artisan Hotel is usually really fun and often quite a few local and out of town swingers attend. Have fun! :-)
Met someone you know at a lifestyle event - - Been there, done that, have the t-shirt. There's really no easy way to explain, deflect, lie, or otherwise extricate yourself from that situation. Counting, just now in my head, it's happened to us no less than half a dozen times. Everyone from family members (Ms. Evil's cousin), friends of friends (BFF's of our former next door neighbors), business acquaintances/clients, you name it. It's always such an unexpected shock that we invariably handle it poorly. LOL
ps- Happened again last night at a wedding, of all things! Not really a lifestyle event/party but plenty of swingers there and the implications were probably fairly obvious to anyone really paying attention.
STD/STI Testing - - Actually it was closer to 1981 When HIV became aware to the medical community in the US if that is what you meant by that 1989 date. http://www.avert.org/aids-history-america.htm
HIV and HSV are the two nasties that should be of most concern for most swingers as they are incurable and HIV can be deadly. Both are costly in terms of lifelong medications but also in quality of life. They will be with you FOREVER!
HSV can pass by something as simple as a kiss and or oral.
Do clean test results mean something? YEs and No! Mathematically speaking the risk is related to a pyramid factorial equation. Meaning, for each new partner you have that is untested you are basically adding in the risk of not just that one person (Primary) but all the persons they have been with (secondary) and all the partners that those secondary people have been with etc etc.. HIV has been know to take up to 6 months of lag time from exposure to when it shows up on a test but 90 days is normally considered the standard waiting period. So any primary partner you play with who has been with someone in the past 90 days before they were tested still could have given HIV to you.
Granted HIV is rare. But HSV is not!
HSV cant take 2-3 weeks to show up on test results.
70-80% of the population will test pos for HSV as there are many folks who have the mouth cold sore HSV 1. To keep it simple sometimes in the testing HSV 1 really shows up as HSV2.. SO sometimes this means if you do test positive for HSV 2 it is really only HSV1. This is one reason Planned Parenthood will try to talk you out of this 160$ test
One more thing to add. Most people still think as long as they dont have an open HSV 2 genital herpes outbreak they are good to go. This has been found to not be true. There is a relatively new phenomenon recognized in the scientific community called Viral shedding.
http://herpes-coldsores.com/viral_shedding.htm
Another worry that is rare but possible and I know of a recent case where a person gave someone Oral herpes HSV1 to the genital area of another person.
There is also Chlamydia that everyone almost laughs off because a single dose of meds will cure it! The sad thing is if you got CHLAM you could have got HSV or HIV also as they run together. TO explain this if your had a partner that gave you Chlamydia they could have just as eaisly have given you some other things.
SO what is the safest thing to do. No play with anyone other than your main partner.
But if that is not what you wish then:
The safest thing would be for both Prospective couples to stay monogamous for 90 days and then get tested.
This is all true to the best of my studies but anyone please feel free to correct me.
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