New Haven Swingers in Illinois

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The definition of cheating - - Interesting discussion. Certainly from a relationship standpoint the classic definition of cheating is being with someone other than your partner physically and/or emotionally. As swingers, however, we often hold ourselves above others and fall back on the lying and/or sneaking around aspect. Personally I feel that being dishonest with the person you hold most dear in this life to be the essence of cheating for me. When information is withheld you take away that person's prerogative to choose whether or not to stay in the relationship with you based on your actions outside of the relationship. There are a million ways people rationalize cheating. I find that a person's attitude towards cheating is a very good litmus test for the depth of their character. Now should we talk about cheating on a test or cheating other people out of their hard earned money? How about cheating on your taxes or at a poker game with friends? At what point DOES cheating become morally reprehensible or should it be "all's fair in love and war" and "every man (or woman) for himself"? Or as SIRNEWBY asserts, is self deception/lying/cheating really the only valid metric? Or did I misunderstand your point, SN? It would be interesting to get feedback from people (I'm sure there are plenty) who've been cheated on.

Moab Utah - Swingers in Moab - [quote=SOMEWHERENTIME]Awesome photo! You should put that one on your profile! We’re headed to Moab June 6-10th and bringing our mountain bikes with us. 🚴‍♀️🏜🚴‍♂️🏜[/quote]We are planning another trip there next month but this time without family 😀!

A&E New show about swingers... - neighbors with benefits.... - [quote=KIDSATPLAY]Why would any industry sponsor shows about the positive side of Swinging? I doubt there is any big money in promoting the swing lifestyle any more than there is profit to singing the praises of plural marriage. The vice industry might even suffer financially should swinging really catch on. This is a lifestyle that must eat the crumbs that fall from the gay lesbian table to acquire any "me to" acceptance. It seems like social and financial suicide for the deep pockets.[/quote] Why would they? They probably wouldn't. I strongly suspect it will show only really fit, conventionally sexy, couples on some kind of a bedroom merry-go-round. Along with, if they find it, some couple or couples whose relationship gets screwed up by swinging. And I wouldn't be a bit surprised if they created a situation like that for the show if they didn't just find one. But a REAL reality show about swinging, showing people from 18 through their 60s or 70s, with the biggest single group in their 40s, with bodies ranging from incredibly skinny through obese? People who are, except for having rejected society's "you only have sex with your significant other" commandment, are absolutely and completely normal people? No, THAT show they'd never sponsor. I expect that this show, if it has any effect at all on society's view of swinging, will have a negative one, reinforcing the idea that swingers will jump into bed with anyone, and leading to even more people "signing up" in the expectation of getting laid whenever they feel like it.

The perfect xmas gift for your fav lifestyle playmate? - What to get the swinger who has EVERYTHING. - Or THIS for all those Potterhead swingers. [url=http://www.methodshop.com/2003/12/harry-potter-broomstick.shtml]Vibrating broom[/url]

Why the male side of Couples are here...? - I will admit I am hoping to spark some heated debate on this.... - (from Terry) And now I'm starting to understand why Evil and I seem to have senses of huimor that sometimes run in the same direction. It's because, in at least some pretty important ways, we see the world in the same way. I'm here for two reasons. First, I was doing this for a while back when it was one Hell of a lot harder than it is now for single men, they were very nearly completely excluded from the lifestyle which, then, was usually called, by both those inside and outside of it, "wife swapping". The very title, and the basic premise of things then, essentially disqualified single men. Now I'm talking about the late '70s and early '80s. Actual "hippiedom", and the free love philosophy was either diminishing, dying off, or dead, depending on where in the country you were. But we'd managed to change society's general view of some things, and sex was one of the biggest. The attitude change, especially on the part of women, who were no longer automatically "sluts" if they enjoyed sex and didn't need to be married, or engaged, or even "going steady" to indulge, together with effective and easily available birth control (illegal in every state until sometime in the early '60s, even condoms were ostensibly sold as and were labeled as being specifically for "disease prevention", and no worries about deadly and/or incurable STDs had changed the world, and birthed what is often referred to as a "sexual revolution". It was almost like falling off a log to go out on a weekend and find an amenable girl. So why the Hell was I bothering with the "wife swapping" world, when it was so damned difficult to even penetrate, let alone to "get something"? For the same reason I was one of those long-haired (except for my 3 years in the Army) hippie freak. I LOVE people who ignore what the rest of the world is telling them to do or not to do, and I want to be around them. Yeah, there are all sorts of individual exceptions, but, for the most part, as compared to the vanilla people, swingers are more intelligent, more likely to use their heads for something besides a hat rack, and, despite the various complaints about certain kinds of people or actions that pop up here, a Hell of a lot less judgmental and intolerant of people who aren't the same as they are. They, again as a general rule, think for themselves, and don't just latch on to the currently popular opinion about whatever. Why I'm here now is that I'm married to a girl 24 years younger than me, who happens to enjoy a couple things I can do but which I'm not really into, and she's at that so-called female sexual peak point in her life. And I figure that my main purpose in the world is to do everything I can to make her as happy as she can be. Being witches, we don't have the standard "you belong to me and only me" attitude about our life partners, we don't think sexual fun with some other person does a damned thing to diminish our relationship; if I have sex with Jane Doe or she has sex with John Smith (and maybe Jane Smith, too), we are still the same people afterwards that we were beforehand. So getting back into it, and bringing her into it, was a great way to help her have the kinds of fun she likes, and for me to hang around with a group of people that I really like. And meet and play with girls I really like. I'm one of those weird guys who does read the profiles before looking at the pics, and even once in a great while even send off an email before I've even seen any of the pics besides the main profile pic. It's just a lot more important who she is and what she's like than it is what she looks like. And I'll find lots more girls that I like and respect here than I ever could in the vanilla world. One thing about what Team said, though. Swinging can bring out and amplify problems in a relationship. But avoiding that is just a question of attitude. First, you have to absolutely trust in your partner's honesty with you. Even though the Mrs. has a hall pass, the only provision being that I meet any guy she might play with before she does, so I can feel like she's going to be safe with him, I know I'd be really upset if she ever started messing around with someone on the side without me even knowing it was going on. But In don't ever even worry about that actually happening, because I trust her completely. Just like she trusts me, not only to not start a secret "affair" with someone, but to never try to even influence who she does or doesn't play with. She knows that when I meet some potential playmate of hers, even if for some reason I think he's a total jerk, I'm not going to say anything. She's the one who will be playing with him, not me, so it's her job, not mine, to decide who's worth playing with. She knows the only time I'll have anything to say about whether she should or not is if I get an impression somehow that the guy can't be trusted to treat her well, and not ever hurt her, ever do or try to do anything she doesn't want. Point is, if you both don't totally trust each other, you're likely to have problems, even if neither of you ever actually does anything sneaky. The second thing is that you can't have the "normal" attitude about your partner, where you feel he or she is in a way your property, and if anyone else uses your property, you're being stolen from. You can't have that feeling that sex equates to love, the kind of love that makes someone want to permanently be with someone. else. If you feel that way, you'll end up worrying that having sex with another person might make him or her decide they've found a better companion, and leave you. Sex is something that goes with that permanent relationship kind of love, but it isn't what determines it. If you can't truly see, and feel, that sex itself is just another enjoyable activity that you do with people you like, just another form of friendship based intimacy like discussing some problem you have with a friend, you're probably going to have problems. If you're at all, in any way or for any reason, at all uncomfortable with your partner having sex with other people, or he or she is uncomfortable with you doing it, then you're probably going to run into difficulties. So it's all a matter of attitude. If you and your partner are truly completely fine with the other having sex with someone else, and if you both trust each other completely, swinging isn't going to destroy your relationship. If both of those attitude type things are not really and truly true for either of you, then it just might. And about that 70 years old thing, Hell, I'm only 6 years away from it, and I haven't yet run into any indications of decline. So far, the girls I've ended up in the bedroom with have been happy with the results. While I haven't yet (thank the Goddess), had to just rely on that ages old bit of wisdom, the one that says "when you're too old to cut the mustard, you can always lick the jar", it ain't everyone that can tie a cherry stem in a knot with his tongue, and I suppose that might be helping me out, but, then again, that always helps out, no matter how young you are [em]Emo_4[/em] But just in case that needing to be taken care of bit is one of those things that happens all of a sudden, like maybe it hits you at one minute past midnight on your 70th birthday, I think I better get Evil to hook me up with those friends of his, so we can have that room all arranged for and booked. Only Evil's limiting himself. I want 3 if those insatiable 22 year olds, one redhead, one blonde, and one brunette. When I commit suicide, I want it to be a truly memorable event, even though I won't be around to remember it. [em]Emo_45[/em] I mean, we can set up cameras and stuff in there, then my wife can get it all edited into a good porn flick, and the proceeds can help her out, in case we haven't managed to find her a nice sugar daddy by then.

Black Ring, Right Hand - How to tell if someone's a swinger - OMG! Just had a client walk in and notice my black tungsten wedding ring (I've had one for a couple of years now.) He told me that it I were to wear it on my right hand it would indicate I was gay. I told him I had heard that it indicated other things (didn't elaborate) and he assured me, and I guess he would know since he and his partner have been together over 20 years and finally were allowed to get married last winter, that it meant gay at...least among his friends and acquaintances. Maybe we swingers are too little too late to the party. Besides, Ms. Evil said she'd never wear anything that dark and colorless. Oh, and fwiw, when we first started swinging (back about the time Madame Curie was JUST starting to glow in the dark a little) the big thing was a necklace, or ring, or t-shirt, or even a tattoo of an apple with a bite out of it. Saw a few people wearing them at conventions/takeovers but never once have we ever seen anyone wear them in a vanilla public venue.

Roll Call. Who all here has... - Polarizing Poll - ...gotten the COVID vaccine? 1) Got it, and can't WAIT to bump uglies with all you nasty swingers again! 2) Nope, not yet. But I will just as soon as......??? 3) Nope and NOPE! I don't want no tracker-jacker microchip in my arm or no magnetic arm or whatever! I have an immune system and don't trust doctors or scientists or whoever the fuck made that stuff. 4) Not gonna tell you cause it ain't nonna yer business. Don't ask, don't tell...just fuck me! 5) Have vaccine card, will travel...er, fuck. Show me yours and I'll show you mine ;-)... otherwise you ain't gettin' none of this top-shelf hotness! 6) Evil, quit stirring up shit. You KNOW this might start somethin'. 7) Got it, but will still wear my mask at orgies and in BDSM dungeons. I've decided that masks are dead-sexy and kinda kinky in many ways and that turns me on. WAY better than choking/breath-play. *Bonus Question* If you ARE vaccinated, will you still play with those who aren't vaccinated and, if not, will you require proof of vaccination before naughtiness ensues?

Tired of Politics and Religion! - - We are just getting caught up on this thread and all we can remember about it is that Bel gets all wet and tingly. Guess this site really is a swingers site after all. And to the Don, our friends own another swing site and guess what, they even started a thread supporting Obama. Yes it was controversial but if you knew them you would understand, they are all about common sense and always support freedom of speech and expression.

Hair Removal Risk/Benefit - Hair removal and increased or decreased susceptibility to some STI/STDs - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]We have an non-intimate vanilla acquaintance, that caught a strain of HPV and could not clear it, that has had numerous surgeries on her lady parts, and uses chemotherapy cream on a regular basis. It’s unsettling to hear about these sorts of health risk, but to ignore the existence of risk is not at all wise. There are preventative measures and then there is the luck of the genetic raffle. Most of us in the lifestyle, well most anyone, who has ever been sexually active, even just a little, and probably the majority of adults, sexually active or not, have probably been exposed to some strain of HPV, and most of us never had symptoms and just cleared the virus. Me personally, I’m strep resistant. I actually seem to be able to kill streptococcus through my own secondary immune system. When the kids or the wife would catch it and be symptomatic and start their antibiotics to kill it, I would test positive, without being symptomatic. Go back a day later and I would test negative. Rather than taking antibiotics for no reason I just sort of stayed away from people until they had been on antibiotics for a day. I don’t get sick but I could carry strep until I seem to just kill it. I have maybe been sick three days in the last fifteen years. Mrs. Delicious gets sick maybe four times a year. It’s the luck of the draw. Neither of us have ever had a cold sore, and I doubt we that neither of us have ever been exposed to that virus. Swinging carries with it higher risk than monogamy. Living an active life of any kind contains some risk and some reward. People say that a lot of swingers are flakes. Maybe they just hold from hooking up until they feel the potential for reward is worth the risk.[/quote] I’m guessing the risk-benefit decision changes before and after enduring an STD/STI. I’m guessing most of us would be more risk averse after being infected, but that might depend on the kind and duration of infection. Bacterial infections are seemingly easier to treat (antibiotics vs antivirals). Molliscum is reported to be self-limiting and can take between 6 months to 4 years to clear! Yikes!

Bryon - Text first - Old fashion wouldn't be on a swingers wedsite.