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Here's something Ive been curious about - - [quote=EVILDOERS]I think over the years we've pretty much seen and heard it all in regards to this subject and who is and isn't a "real" swinger. It kind of all boils down to semantics, doesn't it? Is it really that important to label it and each other? If swinging is a more of a mindset then yes, singles (male and female) are swingers too. I think, perhaps, that what some of the couples might be trying to get at (inelegantly IMO) is that in many ways perhaps singles don't really have as much invested in the process as couples do. As a swinging couple (remember it used to be called "wife swapping") you are in effect opening your relationship to some very real risk. If you don't think that's the case you either are in denial or haven't been around the scene that long. Singles simply aren't running the same risk although it could be argued they do have some risks, especially single females who at very least have some safety issues going into sometimes unknown situations alone. I guess you could argue single males also have a few risks as well. Also, of course, there is the whole argument of singles "not bringing anything to the table". An oft quoted argument to denote they don't have a partner to "swap". True enough in some regards but not entirely true in that they bring themselves and variety to the table for those couples not looking for a couples swap or who want to fulfill other fantasies or who have difficulty finding a fourway connection or attraction. Ultimately I think it's unnecessary for couples who don't want to play with singles (most often it's just single guys, a double standard perhaps?) to diss singles by saying they aren't swingers. And it's also probably not necessary for a few singles to complain that they aren't given an equal place at the table when they indeed do not come prepared to risk the same that couples must risk. Bottom line. Swing how you want to swing and don't swing how you don't want to swing. There's actually room for everyone even if we aren't all necessarily sitting at the same table.[/quote]Absolutely agree. Well said Mr Evil! BTW...Do you know if those X-Ray glasses really worked?? I always wondered...still do. I have particulair attraction to "landing strips"....They could be real handy sorting out potential play partners!
Utah moms (Mormon) TikTok drama - - [quote=Gitterdone]I don't know who that person is but I do know that swingers will ways throw others under the bus. It's happened to me several times mostly to get with the female I was with. Men will tattle on each other in hopes that the female will leave and run to him which never did work. Nonetheless the attempt was there. They ways tell and swingers always talk. Yet this entire time I've kept so many secrets about others and never will reveal anything. Too bad no one else does. I've been around for a long time in the lifestyle especially when I was a couple. We knew about marriages breaking up. Two of who I know personally. Actually three now that I think about it. I'll never name anyone. All I ask is the same respect and keep it to yourself.[/quote]We don’t understand it. We get misery loves company but why sink everyone around because you are jaded.
What are swingers really looking for ?Are they looking for frien - Has the happen to you. - First: To Candy -- I think this is the right site for you. I will explain more below.
Second: I have read your profile and many of your posts in these forums. Sweetie, it seems to me that you and your husband are not in the same place regarding swinging. If I am right, this is sad and probably leaves you very frustrated. His aversion to seeing another man even looking at you naked means you two are very far apart.
Third: You are not clear about having sex with another man. Again, it seems that your looking for a bi-woman might be a compromise to satisfy some of your sexual desires. This is a good place to let it all out. It would help us to know how many sexual partners you have had - both men and women - before and since you have been married. Tell us all and lets see what we can do to help you.
Fourth: To experienced swingers -- Candy needs our advice. She and her husband are young, and we all know most young husbands are not mature enough to handle
New Topic...Dead Horses...Pest or Dead Sexy? - - Lets see? Either a marked propensity for some on here to want to beat them,or could it be a suggestion for location to have a swingers camp out like dead horse point? Hmmmm... though once dead they can be a pain to bury requiring rather large holes.
Playing Alone - - Couples all have different rules. Many categorically refuse to play alone with ANYONE ever. This is their "security" place. They feel comfortable in the place where they can see each other and "protect" if necessary. It takes some people a long time to get passed this.
It's kind of a 'control' thing leftover from the vanilla life. I'm not saying it's bad, good or indifferent it's just the way it is. Some people take longer to get passed their histories as vanillas than others. As they progress and get more comfortable with themselves, the lifestyle, their partners then they will slowly open up and begin to trust a bit more.
Don't take it personally, that's the key. Many people still hang on to their vanilla background that their partners are their most 'valued' possession. I liken it to my $450 deep sea fishing reel. Sure I'll loan it to someone to use if I'm on the boat with them and can make sure they're taking care of it. Is there anyone I'd just let 'borrow' it out right for the day or weekend? Not a chance in hell.
It takes time to let go of that 'she's/he's mine' get feeling. I think my wife and I took almost 6 years before we got there successfully. We tried many times before that but it never worked out well for either of us. We finally came to a point where it's okay to play separately everything from next room to next state it no longer bothers us. I personally prefer within 30 - 50 miles so she get's home faster for the "after play" sex you're describing (which I really like too.)
You'll have to find a VERY secure, VERY established, VERY strong couple to fulfill your fantasy. They are out there, my wife and I for example but even though we're open to playing separately are we open to YOU playing with her or me separately? That's a different level of trust. Does it mean no? No. It means "maybe" in time it's a possibility. (I'm speaking hypothetically of course.)
Don't worry your "couple" or "person" will come along. You might also try investigating a subsection of the lifestyle called "hotwifeing" while I know few swingers who are hardcore into only hotwifing, there are quite a few that tip toe in that part of the lifestyle (quick def, she plays he doesn't except with her.) That's the post play joy for you and the play and post play joy for her. Most people just bounce between that and swinging. There are people out there just be patient and don't expect it from any current playmates that you have established rules with, they need to progress at their own speed.
Is the coronavirus harshing your swinging buzz? - Swinging while wearing surgical masks! - With the rapid rise in cases of COVID-19, have you altered, in any way, your plans for things like swingers cruises or visits to lifestyle resorts? I assume that at LEAST nobody is likely jetting off to Wuhan to hook up with that hot Chinese couple they're been emailing with. [em]Emo_49[/em] What other things are you or aren't you doing or do you think it's totally overblown and you aren't concerned at all?
[img]https://www.xxxneoncity.com/image/4b5efb380e26c1488468595245c6a420.jpg[/img]
Christain Swingers? - - We got up and looked back at this thread today and we have to say we agree that this is a great group of people here. Man, with everyone expressing thier thoughts on this (Including our minority opinion) and not having a flame war or having things get personal is a very cool thing. We are impressed !!
We still will not touch the politics though!
Art and Dawn:D
Tooele swingers party - - So update. I hate to say it but we have to push it back to memerial day weekend which i believe is the 25th? The wifes NEW job has her working on the 11th. We still intend to have fun and wish to host our party. Hopefuy you guys understand us moving the date and some of you are still interested in joining us for fun on the 25th
Young swingers party - sold out, who still wants to party ? - [quote=SOMEWHERENTIME]...and the sign said long haired freaky people need not apply or those 45 and older. So...heading to Vegas for AVN weekend and four incredible nights of parties put on by PURRFECTLV. Anyone else leaving the great state of Utah for the real deal?
Party like a Porn Star!
Alexis Park - Parthenon Ballroom
Massive 15,000 sq. foot ballroom transformed to an upscale sexy lounge complete with large dance floor, multiple stripper stages, go-go cages, ultra lounge furniture, state-of-the-art lighting and sound. Multiple Bars throughout.[/quote]
You have our full attention!!!!!
The males of couples I need your help!! - I am trying to understand my husband and male pride.But been that I am not a male this is hard.So please help. - First: We were childhood sweethearts. (At the age of 12.) We are best friends. We have been together for 10 years,been married for 8 years.For the ten years we have only be with each other.Before we were togrther I had been with 5 men (I do mean men.When I was a teen,I went out with men : 18 to 23.) Before we were togrther he had been with 7 girls.I was with one woman and Chris was there but we had to stop before we got started.(she only when down on me and Chris was watshing but then I told him to go down on her,so he did.Then we had to stop because someone was try to come in the room.We were at a house party.This is why we are here.
Second: We are in the same place regarding swinging.I only want to be with another woman.I do not want to be with another man.(We both are not ready to have another man with us.)I just thought it would be easyer to fine a couple to do what we want.Then to find a single female.Because every where I go everyone is saying the samething " There are not as many single females looking for coupls as there is couples looking for single females."Please reread the post.It saids that We want to be with a single bi-female..... I only want the women to play and the men to watch......
Third: Nothing can get in the way of our marraige.We would never leave each other.We have been through too much together.At 18 we got back together and we had our frist miscarrage.At 19 we had our frist son and our son and I almost die and we had our second miscarrage and was told by a DR. that I could not have any more children.For 4 year we had sex maybe once a month because it hart to have sex.(When we had sex it was over real fast because he did not want to hurt me.)He never steped out on me.He never thought to step out on me.at 23 we had our second son.What ever was wrong with me was gone because it did not hart to have sex any more.At 25 we had our daughter and I almost die having her.For the past 2 years we have wild sex almost every night.After having kids we finely got our sex life back.Now if only I can get my body back. LOL <(That is a joke Chris loves my body)
Chris is the best man out there for me.I should know because I have been looking for a husband since I was 16.All the men I went out with only cared about themselves and what they could get.Chis cares about me and trys to give me everything I want.THAT IS WHY WE ARE HERE.Because he is trying to give me what I want.He is the type of person that would give you the would if he could.
Just so you know we as a couple have researched the swingers lifstyle for a year before we as a couple decieded to join the swingers lifestyle.
We wrote this together.I just typed it .
Candy & Chris
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