Johnsonville Swingers in Illinois

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Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - VP, You're alright in our book man.

A Single Male's Guide To Successful Swinging - Geared Toward Swinging At A Club - [url=http://docs.google.com/View?id=ddk7w7c2_2dhmjzgpd]Article Here...Clicky Clicky! ;)[/url] [align=center][b]A Single Male's Guide To Successful Swinging[/b] [i]Written by an experienced full-swap couple who prefer MFM[/i][/align] When at the swing club: [b]1. Don't be a wall-flower[/b] Guys who sit in the corner, or even in the middle of the action but by themselves, and wait for the conversation to come to them rarely have conversations, let alone sex. It's true, you don't want to be too aggressive or overly-imposing, but total shyness is unattractive to both the female and her husband/partner. The best thing to do is simply join groups or make conversation. So how do you do this without feeling like you're awkwardly waiting to join a conversation? Glad you asked. There are several great places in the swing club that conversation will flow and come naturally and you will not feel like you are imposing on a conversation in progress. Among these are the bar, the swimming pool, the hot tub(s), the smoking room, and the outdoor fire pit, if there happens to be one with a fire going that night. These places are great because conversation is secondary to another activity. You won't feel like you are trying to impose yourself on a conversation with strangers and they won't feel like you are imposing. People go to the bar to drink and engage in conversation. People go to the hot tub to soak and engage in conversation. People go to the pool to swim or play water-volleyball and engage in conversation. People go to the smoking lounge to smoke and engage in conversation. People go to the fire pit to get warm, roast marshmallows and engage in conversation. Are you seeing a pattern here? There is always a primary reason to be at these places where people like light conversation to augment what is going on. If you simply place yourself in these places and say "Hi", a couple, single lady, or group is very likely to strike up conversation with you. Once you take this simple step, you are literally at least 100 times more likely to play than if you keep to yourself or even sit in a high traffic area hoping someone will approach you. There is no fear of rejection because you are not asking for sex, you are engaging in conversation that should come quite naturally. The hot tub and smoking area are particularly great because people are usually facing each other in a smaller area, and no one wants to sit in awkward silence. Even if you don't smoke it may be well worth your while to sit in the smoking room and enjoy a drink or soda. No one will care that you are not smoking and, if someone does point out the fact that you are not smoking or asks you why you are in the smoker's lounge you simply say, "The smoking area is usually where you find the best conversation!" That simple phrase will spark even more great conversation, get a few laughs, prompt others to voice agreement, and makes a great ice breaker. [b]2. Be yourself and if that doesn't work, be yourself![/b] You are not going to fuck everyone who strikes up a conversation with you. In fact, you will most likely only play with a very small minority of the women and couples you meet. (Don't be alarmed by this, it's the same for couples and even single ladies.) So if you meet a couple or woman you want to play with and it doesn't go there, don't worry; it's not a failure. Anytime you comfortably engage in conversation it's a success. It's a numbers game: You talk to enough people and eventually you will get laid. (You are in a swingers' club after all!) Some people will not play with you on a first meet, but may play with you at a later date or time. Some couples will want to talk about you together before they invite you into their sex life. Some people will never swing with you. That's okay too. When all else fails, continue to be yourself. The vast majority of genuine swingers are VERY REAL people and they will spot a fake a mile away. And you don't need to worry about impressing the pseudo-swingers because they were never really going to fuck you (or anyone else) anyway. There's one more very important reason to be yourself: The sex will often (almost always) reflect the situation. If you or the couple/single lady are putting on uneasy airs or are feeling awkward or uncomfortable because of a front the sex will often be uneasy, awkward, and uncomfortable. While it may seem to a single guy that any sex is good sex at first, once you become experienced you will see that quality trumps quantity every time. In fact, quality leads to quantity! If the experience is comfortable and good for all involved the couple may ask you back to play again, will definitely talk you up to their friends, and the more good experiences you have the more your confidence will grow! This all all results in more play in the long-term for you! [b]3. Don't go to the club with the expectation of getting laid[/b] This may sound contradictory or funny, but it is one of the most important things you can do to guarantee your success and it will ensure your night is not wasted when you don't get laid. For the single male new to the lifestyle this could be the majority of the time at first. If you are trying too hard, or are too tied to the outcome you will put pressure on yourself and you will say and do all the wrong things. This is indeed a LIFESTYLE. For many couples it's not just about fucking. Of course it's definitely about fucking, but not JUST fucking. There is far more going on here than that. This is about freedom, trust, friendship, and there are a myriad of reasons couples are involved in this thing that you can never understand unless you have been a part of a loving swing partnership. While you are ultimately at the club for sex, if you don't enjoy other aspects of "the lifestyle" you are in the wrong place. If you don't enjoy more about this thing than just "getting laid", then you are just not a swinger. Save yourself some money and go to a singles bar. You will pay more for alcohol than you will at the BYOB swing clubs, but you won't be paying 50 to 100 dollars or more for the simple privilege of walking through the door. [b]4. Don't be "That Guy"[/b] You know who he is. If you have ever been to a swing club you have probably seen him. Depending on the club you are at you may have seen him hundreds, or even thousands of times. He's the guy who follows or even chases women around the club, makes cheesy come-ons, is way too aggressive, and usually makes a bee-line for a woman the moment her partner goes to the restroom or disappears from sight. In short, don't be an aggressive asshole. At the larger clubs these morons can run in packs of five, ten or more. Most couples are not looking for an asshole, so don't be one. And if you still think you need to be overly-aggressive to score, consider this: If a couple is willing to swing with an aggressive prick they have plenty of men to choose from. You will be one of many aggressive jerks competing for the attention of one or two couples (at best) while the rest of the couples that may be looking for a single guy will be choosing from a few single men who know and practice the secrets you are learning right now. In short: The vast majority of single men never get laid at swing clubs because they are either too shy or too aggressive. If you are going to be the jerk who chases women around the club you are going to end up jerking off with ten other men while you watch some exhibitionist couple have sex. If that's what you are there for great! If not, save yourself some money and rent a porn. [b]5. Don't make "Jr. High School" sexual jokes or come-ons[/b] It's just a turn-off. If the couple or single female goes there, and this seems to be what they want, then fine. But if you go there first you will almost guarantee that you won't be playing that night. An example of this is saying something like, "I've got some sausage for you, baby!" when she says she's hungry. Witty and subtle sexual innuendo can be great if it's your real personality and you are getting a sexual vibe from the couple. Picking up on flirtatious cues and reciprocating is awesome. Even steering the conversation toward the sexual at the right time is something that can increase your chances of success. These subtle skills and ability to read people will come naturally, if you are not already adept, as you gain more experience in the lifestyle and your confidence grows. It's like driving a car. You probably do things and react to situations naturally that you had to nervously think about when you first got your learner's permit. If you are not adept at picking up on cues don't worry, that skill will come! It's better not to try to force things and miss a few cues than to kill your chances with a lame joke or cheesy come-on. On several occasions when we have been interested in a single guy who is comfortably engaging in conversation but missing our cues we have simply pulled him aside and asked him if he would like to join us in a threesome. Not every couple will do this but it does happen, and more often than you think! If you are feeling like a newbie but still want to practice the skill of picking up cues and making appropriate jokes so as not to miss opportunities you probably have the following question: How do you tell if you are being witty or making a lame come-on? Fortunately, the answer is simple! If it the conversation feels natural you are probably being witty. If you find yourself looking for an opportunity to say something sexual or are trying to force it you will probably come off poorly. The best rule of thumb is this: If it's something that might come out of a horny eighth-grader's mouth it's probably best not to say it. [b]6. Don't be "handsy"[/b] Grabbing her tits, feeling on her leg, or being overtly physical with her is unwelcome, even if she is flirting with you and especially if you haven't been invited to do so by her and checked things with her partner. Flirting is an invitation to flirt back, not to caress her breasts, rub your penis against her, or touch her legs. There are only two universal, stead-fast rules throughout the lifestyle: 1. Ask before you touch. 2. No means NO! (In fact, any response other than yes means NO!) We actually rejected a good-looking, fun-loving single male once because he was too hands-on without permission from either of us. By the time he got around to asking the male half if we were open for play in an appropriate manner, the damage was done. The male half was still willing to consider it in light of the poor guy's corrected demeanor, but the female half, who had actually been flirting with this single male at first, had decided she did not like him. Similar behavior with other females at the club that night resulted in the same fruitless-labor for him. We ended up playing with his better-behaved, more well-mannered friend, while he went home empty-handed. (Well, maybe not empty-handed, but suffice it to say whatever, he had in his hand was attached to his own body!) [b]7. Don't talk about your penis size unless you are asked. If you are asked, DON'T LIE![/b] Talking about the size of your "manhood" without being asked may have the same result as making lame sexual come-ons. (If you don't know what lame sexual come-ons are, refer back to #5 on this list.) If a couple cared about the size of your penis they would ask you about it. If you are asked, telling someone your cock is bigger than it is will not get you laid; it will only get you embarrassed when the time comes for play. If it is a big enough issue that the couple feels it is a prerequisite to ask it will be a big enough issue that they will not play with you when the clothes come off. You also need to know that if a couple does ask about your penis size they may not be worried that you are too small; they may be making sure you are not too big. Contrary to locker-room opinion, bigger is not always better for all women. While some women want 8-10 inches or more, for others this will only mean discomfort. Women and couples are all seeking different things. Be honest and the right playmates will find you regardless of how big, small, or average your penis may be. If this sounds contrary to some advice you may have read on a popular swing site, don't worry. The swing club is not a web site and the same rules don't always apply. Couples who are willing to hook up off a personal add directly form a swinger site are usually looking to have a specific fantasy fulfilled, and many times the fantasy is for her to take a "huge penis". Couples who are actually in the swing club usually have a different reason for being there than fulfilling one particular fantasy. In fact, experienced swing couples have probably lived out most, if not all, of their fantasies already. They are usually not looking for a specific penis-size, but quality individuals to spend time with. So, while the swinger sites are right when they state that having a very large penis dramatically improves your chances online, this is not necessarily always the case at a swing club. It may surprise you to learn that most couples on the swing sites have never actually swung! So of course they are looking to fulfill their biggest fantasies first. This is why you see so many profiles looking for the single lady (for him) or the big cock (for her). The simple fact is most real swingers have fulfilled their fantasies and, while they may have their preferences, are not set a particular penis size. [b]8. Lay off the super-masculinity[/b] This is a swing club, not a singles bar. The vast majority of people in a swing club are middle-aged, secure, well-adjusted couples looking for a quality encounter to enhance their sex-lives and relationships as a whole. Contrast that to the twenty-something, insecure, shallow, bad-boy seekers at most singles bars and it's easy to see that different techniques are required to be successful in the lifestyle. The single women at a swing club are no exception to this rule. If she was looking for the type of guy you find at a singles bar she would be there. Cocky gets you laid at a singles bar. Genuine confidence is what works at a swing club. Enough said. [b]9. Don't try to be better than her husband (Unless you are acting out a cuckold fantasy)[/b] You are not there to be the best lover she has ever had, boost your own ego, or make her tell her friends how much better than her husband you are. You are there to serve the couple. Trying to outperform her husband or be the best she has ever had will only put undue pressure on you and may actually hurt your performance. Further, if this is your motive, you probably don't belong in a lifestyle that is based on freedom, the love between a couple, trust, and friendship. The last thing the lifestyle is about is false-bravado or adolescent, male competition. As mentioned before, some couples have what is called a cuckold fantasy and if you are asked to act that out with them this is a different story; but understand you are still just role playing! The simple fact is you can't be better than her husband no matter how hard you try. You may have a bigger cock, be more physically talented in bed, or even make her come harder than she has ever come before, but you will not be better than her husband no matter how physically good the sex is. How is this possible? It's like we said before: Couples are in this thing for a variety of reasons, but the vast majority of real swingers share a deep emotional commitment and trust most "regular" married couples will never understand. The sex they have with you is only one very small part of the experience. They are going to look back on it, talk about it, re-live it, and it will deepen their bond. There is so much love and emotional growth and trust involved in this that a simple, physical act can never compete with the overall picture or the love she feels for him. He is showing her an extraordinary amount of trust by bringing you in, especially if you have a bigger dick, are more attractive, in better physical shape, or have more stamina. He loves her immensely to be giving her this erotic adventure and to be turned on by it himself to boot! It's really impossible to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it, but suffice it to say that the love and growth that is spawned by a couple sharing their sex lives with another is beyond almost anything you could ever imagine. [b]10. When engaging a couple be respectful of the male[/b] Even though the female is usually in charge, he is the gate-keeper. It is common etiquette to clear things with the male if you want to play with his wife. While some couples are "anything goes" and will swing separately all night with implied permission to play with anyone they want, many only swing same room or will want to make sure both parties are comfortable with the choice of partner beforehand. Being respectful of him will go a long way with her and will help convince him that you are a genuine, good person and the best choice to show his wife/partner a good time. Even if she swings solo and there is no interaction with her man on your part, always be respectful of him and remember rule #9. [b]11. Always be respectful of the female and remember: It's ALWAYS about her pleasure![/b] Always be respectful of the female should go without saying, but we'll say it here anyway. We really shouldn't need to explain this. In fact, if you feel like it needs explaining run from the lifestyle as fast as you can for the benefit of yourself and everyone in the lifestyle! Once you understand this (and we're assuming you do) the other things you need to remember are what we call the Golden and Platinum Rules of Swinging. The Golden rule is: "It's always about her pleasure." The platinum rule states: "In the event that it's not about her pleasure, refer to the Golden Rule." It's that simple. If you can follow this philosophy, everything else we are talking about here will come naturally. You will have better experiences, gain a great reputation, and be invited back to play over, and over, and over again! [b]12. Find a club where there is not an over-abundance of single males[/b] The fewer single males, the better it is for you. How do you find these clubs? Here's the secret: 1. Find a large, metropolitan area with a few big-name swing clubs. 2. DO NOT go to these clubs! The big name clubs in the big city will be full of tourists and hundreds of single men looking to get into the the lifestyle. 3. Find a swing club with a small devoted following in a small town or outlying area 20-60 minutes from the well-known clubs in the big city. 4. Attend a party at the outlying club. What you will find is quality swingers without the mass throngs of single guys just looking to get laid. 5. Use the advice you are reading here. You may not live in an area where this is possible or that only has one swing club. Don't worry, the advice in this pamphlet will still work even in the big clubs or where there are a lot of single men. It just works faster when there is less competition. If you are genuinely interested in the lifestyle and not just getting laid, it may be well worth planning a vacation around this strategy and going somewhere with a lot of swing clubs large and small. Again, find the small clubs with devoted followings! Single guys usually go to the biggest clubs and the clubs in-town. 20-60 minutes of travel will eliminate 99% of the competition! We usually go to a small club (JJ Western Swing) in Pahrump, Nevada (which is near Las Vegas). Vegas is a swinger mecca with several big name clubs that draw national attention. The club we frequent is in the next county over and is about a 40 minute drive. There are very few single males there and the couples always outnumber them! This is never the case at a big name club that draws tourists. One night we attended a party at JJ's that had an abundance of couples, three single females, and not one single male. This is indeed rare and may never happen again but it did that night at a small club, near a swinger mecca, with a devoted following. One thing to be wary of when seeking these clubs: If a club guarantees you will get laid or that there will be more single ladies than single men you are not going to a swing club, you are going to a brothel. If you are just looking to get laid this may be the best option for you, but if you are genuinely interested in the lifestyle, you will not find it at the so-called "swing clubs" that make guarantees. [b]Extra Credit: Expect rejection[/b] No, you're not going to be brutally rejected like some awkward, high school dweeb asking the snobby-prom queen for date in front her friends. But you should expect some rejection. Why? Everyone gets rejected. Expect it and don't take it personal. Most people who are not looking to play with you will be very nice in turning you down. Single males will be turned down very often for a variety of reasons. Many couples are just not looking for a single male. The simple truth is, if you practice the previous 12 principles, you won't find yourself asking all that much anyway. Things will naturally progress and you will find yourself playing as the result of this natural progression. But if and when you do proposition a single lady or a couple, simply be prepared to hear the word, "No". We're not suggesting that you set yourself up for failure by any means. Just know that you will be turned down at times, and sometimes it will happen often. By expecting some rejection, knowing that it's a part of the lifestyle and that we ALL get rejected on occasion, you won't take it personal or let it interfere with your confidence; and confidence (not cockiness) is the key here. Rejection is not the end of the world. In fact it can be a good thing. When a couple lets you know they are not interested in playing with you, you can move on and not waste anyone's time or continue to enjoy some good conversation without the added expectation. No, rejection is not the end, it is simply a fresh start and a new beginning! Welcome to the lifestyle and may your experiences be as fulfilling as our have been!

Swinger Bracelets - Swinger bracelets - [quote=FIRSTTIME1]Swinger bracelets Has anyone used these swinger bracelets or had any experience with them? They seem like a good idea for couples the travel! People in the lifestyle have a way to recognize other swingers. With colors signifying your comfort level in swing activity. A great way of starting conversation or letting other couples know you

Best swingers club for a 26m/36f couple - - Thads in San Diego

We are wanting to host small intimate parties - - [quote=UTCPL]Wow, the amount of emails we have received I think maybe we will just rent the convention center. Whoever is interested send us an email. also thinking maybe we should organize some kind of regular play party & rent out a block of rooms somewhere. Anybody want to talk about that mail us. The whole idea was to get away from the meet n greet & just do what everybody really wants & have a play party. [/quote] That sounds like what we've started doing here on this side of the river. You want to come sit and BS that's fine. But we're going to get naked and do what real swingers do. Believe it or not, some people are actually shocked by that.

RV Swingers? - - We full time R.V'd for 2 yrs. Put smiley face on your door, tell's other swingers you are to. We were told that by excapies at quartsite. We also have full hook-up's

Do you Expect to get laid at Swinger Parties? - - We never expect to play...we just go to have a good time. If we meet a couple to swap with...thats jsut a bonus. We have a great club/group of swingers around here....only thing I can say is try places and if ones not right try another....and word of mouth is the best at finding the one that might be right for you....or group does a weekly online chat night and helps inform people that want to know about of group and what to expect there. Also they do a Meet and Greet at a local bar on certain weekends to let newbies get to know the regulars.

Moab Utah - Swingers in Moab - [quote=Utahldscouple]We are game for booking a LS group trip![/quote] We'd be interested in a trip to Moab.

Same Sex Marriage - If you support - Well to make clear this is the MRS part of Stitchutah, I can't speak for him. As for me, I have to admit there are some of you whom posted that make some good points, and then there are some that make no sense to the forum at all. LOL! I really like some of your opinions and you make good points, such as Kinbaku, Thoughtgarden, and to some extent REally98. I have to say though that even though I have read every post to this topic I really don't know where I stand on this issue of same sex marriage. I have to be honest and say, I am torn. Some of you can respect that and others will bash it, but either way.....its just honesty. I really like Kinbaku's point about who are we as swingers to judge a non traditional marriage when none of us married couples that swing and have open marriages can be considered "traditional" to the rest of the world. Infact, there are a lot of those outside of swingworld that place high judgement on our choice of lifestyle just as they do same sex marriages. ONe of you commented on (I can't remember who, maybe it was TR) or rather, asked how those that didn't agree with same sex marriages would feel if they couldn't be married to their spouse legally (excuse me if I got that question wrong, I believe that is how it was put) and I have to say to that.....being on both sides of the fence here, that if I couldn't be married to Mr Stitch, whom I love and cherish and will love and cherish for my entire life (just as I am sure a gay couple feels for their life partner) marriage to him does not change my feelings for him. I would still be with him, I would still love him just the same, my life wouldn't change as far as how I live or feel. I would still have my children and so forth. The only things it would change (which, mind you, are huge and helpful in our marriage) is our legal rights such as tax benefits, insurance (we don't have anyhow, but at least we have the option), and other things that I am not fully aware of I even have rights to. I am sure I take those rights for granited as I am sure other married couples do as well. I don't argue that point, at all. However, isn't there, and tell me if I am wrong, ways around some of those legal issues some of you have brought up (medical rights, when decision can't be made by person) by putting in a living will whom you've appointed power of attorney too? If same sex couples can't legally be married by laws set forth by the government then they just need to take extra precautions to protect what they can. They need to be proactive by doing whatever they can to protect their union. Yes, there are some things they won't be able to do anything about unless the law is changed, but there are some thing they can do, and they should do. Like I said, I still don't know what side of the fence I fall on.....I don't entirely agree with same sex marriage, however, I don't entirely disagree with it either. It to me is a complicated issue, and its very possible that I complicate it myself. Where I agree with REALLY98 ( I believe is their names) is where they state....where do you draw the line? The government has a hand in almost everything we do, including marriage, and there isn't anything we can really do to change that. I tend to agree with the statement that somewhere down the road if we move that line and say...Okay, same sex marriage is legal, then some ppl may argue well, okay, same sex marriage is okay so now, me and my spouse want to be married to our girlfriend/boyfriend or hell the couple we swing with,...... now why can't we do that, marriage isn't defined anymore as just man and women, so why isn't my rights to legalize poly okay? Some may argue, that it would never happen, but I am posistive that if you ask older ppl in the community that if they thought they'd ever see same sex marriage being brought up I am sure they would say HELL NO, we thought we'd never see that day, and yet, here it is! I just thought that was a good point that Really98 made.....now, the whole marrying an animal thing, ugggh, I really hope that day never comes, but then again, you never know what some ppl might do. (GRIN). I, for one, never will judge a same sex couple....nor do I want to EVER seem as though I am judging them. I guess I really don't think there is anything wrong with same sex marriage, truthfully. The conclusion I have made for myself is....I will live my life with my family and do what I can to raise my children to be tolerate, loving, and non judgemental. We try everyday to raise them to make their own decisions based on how THEY feel about things, not what others think (and if you don't think that isn't a task, it certainly is!!!) I think this world is getting to be more and more complicated, and it will only get worse b4 it gets better (no, I am not a dooms day person) and all we can do as parents and as a family is protect whom we love the most that being, eachother, and our children. Thats all, I am sure, everyone wants to do here whether same sex or "traditional" (however you define that) so I suppose we are really have the same agenda in mind, right?

Calling all losers! - LS and club scene - As a single male (when we are invited), it's hard to make any connections in a LOUD club. I have some female friends (whom I'm sure that many couples would love), but inviting them to a loud "swingers" environment, isn't always attractive to them. On the other hand, a quiet, more relaxed/intimate setting is much more desirable to the women that I hang with. Also, if a couple would be willing to take a chance on a single male, dinner and drinks might be a lot less threatening for everyone involved. No expectations.... just getting to know each other.