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Friendship vs. spontaneity? - Are you here to make friends or just to fuck? - The perception of this lifestyle is that there is a whole lot of sex going on between everyone. Maybe if you are young slim and trim and willing to go to bed with everyone at the drop of a hat that is true. But that pretty much describes the young anyway. If that is your perception of all swingers, and you are here in Utah, then you are bound to be disappointed.
I think that this question comes up a lot because it is not a simple question for many of us and it seems to be posted by those seeking friends first. The end goal may be sex. But if that is your only goal then why do you say you are seeking friends. Friendships are not made in 30 seconds or a drink over at the pub. If that is what makes friendships in your mind then you are really just here for sex.
For us it is finding friends. Some folks that we meet we will play with and some we will be just friends with. It really boils down to a 4 way vote when it comes to the bedroom and maybe even being friends in the first place. And that is what makes finding friends and bedroom partners difficult. There is always the added fear of rejection that gets in the way when you want to anything anyone.
I look at all the complaints of one-nighters and couples that never speak again after sex. I can only surmise that for those folks sex is the only yard stick of friendship. You do not have to be sexually compatible to be friends.
We have found that if what you are looking for is friends, then it is easy to be part of the lifestyle. If what you are looking for is based on having sex then it is easy to be disappointed and difficult to be part of the lifestyle.
Furthermore we look at those that just want to screw and think how lonely their existence must be.
Secret Swingers Club Ogden, UT - Clubs - According to the group page hosting the theme party tonight there are over 40 current attendees. . Not a fan of the theme this time of year but we like the vibe of the venue.
KUTV News Story on Swingers - News - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]Gasp! Tens of thousands of swingers here in Utah.
I believe Utah now has a slightly higher-than-average divorce rate. The national divorce rate is 3.4% with Utah slightly higher at 3.6%. The percent of divorced residents in Utah is reported as 9.3% which is the 18th lowest in the nation. Don't ask me how those numbers reconcile. It has something to do with immigration into the state I am guessing. New Jersey reports that 8.5% of it's residents are divorced and that is the lowest in the nation.
Well what do you think? Did more than 3.6% of all the swinger couples, that you have met end up getting a divorce? Was it over swinging? Are more than 9.3% of the swingers population divorced? This would include all the singles now swinging that were once married. One woman telling the media how swinging ended her marriage is anecdotal at best. Do I believe she is telling the truth? Yes I do. Do I personally believe swinging ads an extra element of jeopardy to a marriage? Yes I do. Do I believe there are quite a few people that would be happier staying away from the swinging lifestyle? Yes I do. Never-the-less, most of the couples, we have personally met, that are swingers seem to enjoy swinging and frankly enjoy doing it together. Do I believe there are quite a few couples who will enjoy swinging? Yes I do, we certainly have enjoyed the lifestyle experience as do a lot of swinging couples we have met. In the end if you are a married couple you have to make the decision based on the two of you, as to whether or not swinging is a good thing in your lives individually and as a couple. As for statistical models as to the divorce rate within the community of swingers well there aren't any. This isn't really a news story it's sensationalist journalism designed to attract viewers. Anyway, the divorce rate has been going down since the 1980s and swinging has been on the rise since the 1980s so you could make an analogy that swinging is saving marriage. Yes it would be a bunch of anecdotal bull shit just like this story. [/quote]
Right. And swinging doesn't end a marriage anymore than cheating or lying or alcohol abuse or drugs, etc; people end marriages. Any relationship is an invention solely created by those people involved and only they have power over its progress forward. Will swinging or discussions about it lead to problems between people in relationships? Potentially. But any attempt by the anonymous lady in the story to blame swinging for anything is an attempt on her part to avoid accountability.
You can't blame the alcohol itself for the drunk.
PS, NJ may have a lower divorce rate b/c it's one of the few states that still grants annulment instead of divorce in certain cases.
swingin - thought this site was a swingers site - hey dumb shit waaaaaa you are the one rebelling.you are the one that started whining about thread topics that YOU do not like.in your opionion no one else should like them either.if you will check the forum site again,that is where you went to start this thread,there is a section titled just talk and if you open your eyes a little more under that heading it says"non lifestyle related topics...".it does not say non lifestyle related topics that every one agrees to.as to name calling i do not believe i was calling anyone a name,but you are slinging quite a few around.seems to me i defended you on the spelling issue.but truth be known either you did not go to school at all or didn't listen when you were there because a fucking complete moron spells a whole lot better than you.now like every one has said if you do not like a threads topic then don't read it.it is just like television if you do not like what is on(now i am only assuming this)you change the channel.and if you think i am calling you a moron let me assure you i am not as a moron can spell better.
Phil
A&E New show about swingers... - neighbors with benefits.... - Ah...great memories of the Real Sex producers running around during the Erotic Ball at the old LSO convention trying to talk Ms. Evil into letting them shoot her in her slutty little costume. They would also have specific "dances" that were pre-announced to be filmed for the program. The dance floor would almost clear entirely when those dances were announced. LOL
FNG ,but hey I get it... Really - - I am encouraging people who are really interested in this lifestyle to be genuine and courteous. I may be throwing some meet and greets as soon as I get a girl who will help me host. (parties a big work) but I got the house for it.
I would love to have a party every 60 days; so we, being a small and select few who really enjoy our lives to the fullest can have a setting that is open and not costly to meet folks who live near by and really want some genuine people to interact with.
I hope we can be as active as Utah seems to be. I have emailed a few of you here some no response, others great tips and genuine friendly advice. Remember it is not a party with out you.
California Orange county I know you are out there I do what I can to promote this lifestyle and pioneer for new friends, lovers, acquaintances and referrals. If I could get some friend invites that are Local I would throw some nice baby hugh hefner* parties. I am just getting involved and I have some great game, genuine personality and very approachable. I am not easily embarrassed but can be hurt. So a simple ignore or no thank you is what I would recommend. I am not expecting a love connection from any or all when I get an email or a network add just expect real genuine swingers who can commit and be courteous if and when I do throw a meet and greet. So is this thing on?:*
Reject Affair Match - Cheaters are not swingers - We couldn't agree more. When we decided to join this lifestyle we both agreed that being totally real and honest were the 2 most important things to make this fun, and to get what we both wanted out of it. Cheating on a spouse isn't what this is all about. I totally agree with the previous post.
A& L
Ways to point out Swingers in public - - I like the black idea, are couples using them ? We heard it was bananas in the fold out part of the shopping cart.
Swingers cars??? - What ya driving?? - I have a few
STD testing and physicians - who and where - The Utah Aids Foundation in Sugarhouse does walk in testing Mondays and Thursdays. They test for HIV (rapid results, you get them before you leave the clinic), and chlamydia and gonorrhea for free. The chlamydia/gonorrhea are just urine for the free tests, and since they are localized infections, paying for the self collect oral/anal tests are worth it as well ($25/each), as people frequently have those without realizing and while testing clean with their urine tests. My one complaint with there is that they take a while to get results (about a week) and I felt a little talked down to when they pull you into a room to talk about safe sex and using condoms; however, that is a small price to pay for the service you are getting.
While, as swingers, those are the two big ones to worry about, it is worth also going to your family physician to get tested for a full panel every few months (I do every 6/8 months for the full panel), since they aren't as common but can still affect people.
If you need something quickly and want to avoid paying too much, the best experience I have had is actually at the Salt Lake County Health Department near downtown (http://slco.org/health/std-clinic/testing-treatment/). They charge per test, and they are the least judgmental and most sex-positive place I've found. The only downside is that they don't take insurance, so it doesn't count against your deductible, and getting an appointment can be hard, but they do take walk ins.
Safe sex is fun sex, team! Let's all slut it up like crazy but keep it safe. We all have an obligation to police ourselves, and if something happens, take care of that shit!
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