Stites Swingers in Idaho

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What would you do? - what does a person do when their spouse no longer wishes to paticipate - Well. How amazing that the "couple in question" just happens to be in my home town. And my wife and I are at a serious impasse about the same subject, but in the "traditional direction" i.e. I still want it. She still doesn't. I'm... very surprised that a bunch of Swingers are so unanimous that "No trumps yes": that swinging is just something you do - but are ashamed of enough that any "no" in the group instantly defines the partner's life as well. Why isn't "yes" just as valid? In our case, we've been married for over 25 years. We've had a very-good run. Our children are grown and gone. We're financially comfortable. And we're still physically capable - as we watch our parents be physically unable to walk, hear, see, pee, or do much of anything to enjoy *anything* - the point there being that I hear the clock ticking and to me, this is THE time of life to reap one's reward for the life one has lead - before it's too late to do anything but try to keep breathing. And for me, being honest, the ONE thing that is my reward - is erotic fun. Let me be clear that what I crave is *erotic fun* - not just madly try to find someone new to fuck and never see again - but partners who want to wallow in the erotic experience of "Truth or Dare" and Lifestyle conventions and teasing and games. That's IT for me. That's why "doing it" is called "doing IT". And I've been a great husband/father/responsible citizen for over 50 years. And I feel that there isn't anything else in my life that really gives me a "reason for living". And my wife, bless her, just has never had any passion. She enjoys it when I have sex with her. When I give her a nice massage followed by 3 or 4 orgasms. But she's happy with twice a month or less. And she had no need at all for my "erotic experiences". So here we are. And over the last 10 years we've tried pretty-much every possibility: traditional fidelity, me cheating, us swinging, me swinging alone with her permission... and it always ultimately winds up that the only way she is not *miserable* is if I'm following "traditional fidelity". And the only way I'm not miserable - is if I have the freedom to pursue erotic associations. Now. If my passion were bowling, there wouldn't be a problem. If her passion were gardening or shoe shopping, there wouldn't be a problem. Everybody would just tell us to do our thing without the other - and enjoy what we *do* enjoy together. But somehow sex is THE one that we have to do *together* or not at all. So we're very very seriously trying to figure out if we'd both be happier by tearing up a marriage and going our separate ways. We can all *say* that whoever does NOT want to swing - rules the day, but imagine whatever your very-favorite thing is to do. Then imagine your spouse telling you: "I don't like to do that, so WE won't ever do that and You won't do it without me - and you won't do it alone, either - ever again". Now what?

Help With Wife - Wife has fantasies but is super hesitant to experiment. - [quote=EVILDOERS]Personally I think you might be a little too eager (can't blame you, we all were when we started) and pushing just a little too hard to make her fantasy a reality. Rather than trying to find a way to get around the "Catch 22" of her fantasy maybe just explore it more verbally and see if it evolves into some kind of scenario that she is comfortable with that more easily can happen in the real world. The most successful swingers we know, ourselves included, arrived at where they are by being open and supportive of each other's fantasies and desires without forcing them in any way. In other words, be patient, explore your fantasies verbally and maybe role play, a LOT, with each other before you jump into anything that either of you isn't quite ready for. You might be surprised as you fantasize openly and honestly how your fantasies might evolve and become something that you eventually can and will make a reality. You know your wife better than anyone and maybe she does need a little nudge but most of the swingers we've known over the years who've crashed and burned did so because one partner pushed the limits too fast and didn't wait for the more hesitant partner to catch up. In our case we were quite surprised and what our fantasies morphed into when we really dug deep and talked about the truly deviant (by local standards anyway-lol) aspects of our fantasies. Sorry, I know that's probably not the kind of advice you were hoping for but it's been our observation over a rather lengthy swinging career. Another thought, if you're bound and determined to make your first swinging experience a MFM, is to find a guy who is okay with just watching you two play or maybe getting involved in some soft swinging...i.e. back rubs and or touching but no intercourse. We were soft swap for the first year or two of our swinging life and it was great fun and took the pressure off until we were ready to take the next step. Best of luck! edit- Sorry about what now seems like a long rambling response. In my defense it was pre-coffee. [em]Emo_79[/em] [/quote] Damnit! Evildoers is right again!

How close is too close - - I think that the question poses a number of possibilities... If only one person is starting to feel something beyond sexual attraction then that person should step back and examine why they are feeling this way. If it is only one way then the person who is having the feelings needs to take stock of the reality of the situation and realize the potential problems involved. If the situation is mutual and noone else realizes it then the two involved need to discuss it... and they both have to weigh the situation. Why is this happening and are the possible ramifications worth the risks involved... If it is possible talk about it with everyone concerned and make a determination as to what needs to be done. I've actually heard about a situation where a couple split over a swinging situation and the lady from the one couple went with the guy from the other couple and the gal from the other couple went with the husband of the woman that went with her husband.. A real twist on the concept of swapping.... Being poly may put a totally different slant on how I look at this problem... since I am involved with a married woman. My wife and her husband are not poly... The other couple are not swingers and we are very good friend as couples... and everyone knows about she and I. It's very difficult to explain to anyone how this works but it does and it can..... So I have a unique perspective on love and swinging... or just married people and love between non married people in married situations. I would generally say, however, that swingers should not get into love situations unless you and your mate and the other couple can handle this situation.. If a love relationship starts to happen run don't walk to the nearest exit and don't turn around. Just possibilities .. There are quite a few poly people involved iin swinging...including some of the older people entering into swinging... They are looking to expand their sexual and love relationships as well. THere are also younger people in the lifestyle who are poly.. The subject has come up a surprising number of times of various swinger sites... So if you're not poly and start to feel love for someone other than you mate... Assess you first as to why... but regardless, if you love your mate....get away fromo that particular situation... Ray

Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - ok now im thinking of Don with a bottle..... LOL bend over hun take it like a man....

Hanging out this weekend - Habits tonight?? - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET][quote=HERRIMANFUN]We enjoy it if there is a couple we are interested in they have sections that aren't so loud that you can talk. But yes it is loud. And we have run into lots of swingers there lots of times. But I hear that a lot I think most people don't talk to people or just walk up to a stranger(s) and say hi. But I the male half does a lot that's how you meet people and then once you chat a bit it comes out that they are swingers. Not a big fan of he meet and greets it's always the same people unfortunately. And that's great for some but we haven't really made a connection at any that we have been too, yet. [/quote] We have been to the meet and greets too and we don't go very often and have not been to one in ages. Maybe twice a year we hit one but when we do go we pretty much introduce ourselves to everybody and if we missed someone we didn't mean to. You do have to be proactive to be successful in meeting people or at least reactive in a positive fashion when someone interesting approaches you. We have been to Habits and ended up leaving with someone, but we had already had a bit of friendly back and forth somehow with the people we left with or it was someone we met previously and had at least chatted a bit. We think we have only been there maybe five times altogether. Well, maybe Mr. Delicious will put on a collared shirt just in case we head that way but for now we are thinking maybe the Green Pig sounds fun. [/quote] Well if you make it to Habits please come and say hello.

Kik group for UT swingers. - Contact me if your interested in joining a KIK group for Swingers - Sign me up. Thanks Robby

Poly-Swingers - Moving beyond FWB relationship - No experience. But every relationship is a throw of the dice. If every one is happy with the arrangement, what is the problem. Don't ask the legal aspects.

Why are there so many swingers from Utah? - - Just check out the Swingers booth at the Utah Family Expo., which is going on right now! You'll find the answers to all of your questions.

Ideas on Swingers Car Rally..... - Ideas on Swingers Car Rally..... - Great idea ESDA22001! An adult-themed road rally! How awesome is that! So let's do it! Let's see how many people we can get together and from what areas so we can figure out the most centralized location for the trip. Wherever we start, we would need to finish at a lifestyle club. That would be a great way to finish! Count us in. We can help organize this as well so let's team up! Chris & Donna

Another perplexing experience - - In reply to wetfem there is nothing wrong with you as a cpl. We have had simular situations everything from "oh no your a yankee" to "your too old" of course they never said this to our face we just could tell from the way those nights went the bottom line is ,you cannot possibly be compatible with everyone you meet and chatting, talking on phone, and e-mails/messages gives you just a slight insight into who you are planning on meeting thats why for us for the most part at least folks local to us we do not spend alot of time chatting etc... we setup a face to face meeting very quickly and see where it leads most 1st meetings are strictly social and then we tell whomever we are meeting with lets make it" more private "next time that normally will lead to a positive response or a polite "we don't feel we are compatible". We have learned to laugh about the ones who choose not to bring it to a sexual level and consider it thier loss not ours . Being in the mid aged range we know that we are more uncompatible with the majority of the swingers who frequent sights like this my wife no where looks 47 People continue to guessed her age in her mid 20's (she drives those fair ages guessers crazy she has won every time lol) and when cpls/singles meet us face to face and we tell them our kids are 28 and 26 you can see the look on thier faces that is very obvious "They did not read our profile very well". With all that said, we approach all face to face meetings with no "sexpectations" if it happens great if it doesn't we say nice to meet you and then say "NEXT" Norm&Sharon