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What would you do? - what does a person do when their spouse no longer wishes to paticipate - Well.
How amazing that the "couple in question" just happens to be in my home town. And my wife and I are at a serious impasse about the same subject, but in the "traditional direction" i.e. I still want it. She still doesn't.
I'm... very surprised that a bunch of Swingers are so unanimous that "No trumps yes": that swinging is just something you do - but are ashamed of enough that any "no" in the group instantly defines the partner's life as well. Why isn't "yes" just as valid?
In our case, we've been married for over 25 years. We've had a very-good run. Our children are grown and gone. We're financially comfortable. And we're still physically capable - as we watch our parents be physically unable to walk, hear, see, pee, or do much of anything to enjoy *anything* - the point there being that I hear the clock ticking and to me, this is THE time of life to reap one's reward for the life one has lead - before it's too late to do anything but try to keep breathing.
And for me, being honest, the ONE thing that is my reward - is erotic fun. Let me be clear that what I crave is *erotic fun* - not just madly try to find someone new to fuck and never see again - but partners who want to wallow in the erotic experience of "Truth or Dare" and Lifestyle conventions and teasing and games. That's IT for me. That's why "doing it" is called "doing IT". And I've been a great husband/father/responsible citizen for over 50 years. And I feel that there isn't anything else in my life that really gives me a "reason for living".
And my wife, bless her, just has never had any passion. She enjoys it when I have sex with her. When I give her a nice massage followed by 3 or 4 orgasms. But she's happy with twice a month or less. And she had no need at all for my "erotic experiences". So here we are. And over the last 10 years we've tried pretty-much every possibility: traditional fidelity, me cheating, us swinging, me swinging alone with her permission... and it always ultimately winds up that the only way she is not *miserable* is if I'm following "traditional fidelity". And the only way I'm not miserable - is if I have the freedom to pursue erotic associations.
Now. If my passion were bowling, there wouldn't be a problem. If her passion were gardening or shoe shopping, there wouldn't be a problem. Everybody would just tell us to do our thing without the other - and enjoy what we *do* enjoy together. But somehow sex is THE one that we have to do *together* or not at all.
So we're very very seriously trying to figure out if we'd both be happier by tearing up a marriage and going our separate ways.
We can all *say* that whoever does NOT want to swing - rules the day, but imagine whatever your very-favorite thing is to do. Then imagine your spouse telling you: "I don't like to do that, so WE won't ever do that and You won't do it without me - and you won't do it alone, either - ever again". Now what?
swingin - thought this site was a swingers site - Tami...
Don't waste your time...THe problem is he is immature...look at the typing, what is this myspace and we are all about 12 or 13?
Waaaaa....You would pay for it? why not pay to get some cleaned up teeth and stuff...Maybe a shirt that does not scream 80's? Wonder how popular you are in Indiana or wherever the hell your trailer is located?
Anyway...Let the crying begin with waaaa leading the way crying all the way...
Swingers - a couples only lifestyle? - Are singles considered to be swingers? - I think over 10 years in the lifestyle qualifies the research. What you're refering to has a lot to being open minded and approach sex as a healthy activity. AGAIN - when you think of the lifestyle and the term "swinging" a single person doesn't fit the description as there is no swapping on both sides.
KUTV News Story on Swingers - News - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET][quote=CHEFFETTE][quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]Gasp! Tens of thousands of swingers here in Utah.
I believe Utah now has a slightly higher-than-average divorce rate. The national divorce rate is 3.4% with Utah slightly higher at 3.6%. The percent of divorced residents in Utah is reported as 9.3% which is the 18th lowest in the nation. Don't ask me how those numbers reconcile. It has something to do with immigration into the state I am guessing. New Jersey reports that 8.5% of it's residents are divorced and that is the lowest in the nation.
Well what do you think? Did more than 3.6% of all the swinger couples, that you have met end up getting a divorce? Was it over swinging? Are more than 9.3% of the swingers population divorced? This would include all the singles now swinging that were once married. One woman telling the media how swinging ended her marriage is anecdotal at best. Do I believe she is telling the truth? Yes I do. Do I personally believe swinging ads an extra element of jeopardy to a marriage? Yes I do. Do I believe there are quite a few people that would be happier staying away from the swinging lifestyle? Yes I do. Never-the-less, most of the couples, we have personally met, that are swingers seem to enjoy swinging and frankly enjoy doing it together. Do I believe there are quite a few couples who will enjoy swinging? Yes I do, we certainly have enjoyed the lifestyle experience as do a lot of swinging couples we have met. In the end if you are a married couple you have to make the decision based on the two of you, as to whether or not swinging is a good thing in your lives individually and as a couple. As for statistical models as to the divorce rate within the community of swingers well there aren't any. This isn't really a news story it's sensationalist journalism designed to attract viewers. Anyway, the divorce rate has been going down since the 1980s and swinging has been on the rise since the 1980s so you could make an analogy that swinging is saving marriage. Yes it would be a bunch of anecdotal bull shit just like this story. [/quote]
Right. And swinging doesn't end a marriage anymore than cheating or lying or alcohol abuse or drugs, etc; people end marriages. Any relationship is an invention solely created by those people involved and only they have power over its progress forward. Will swinging or discussions about it lead to problems between people in relationships? Potentially. But any attempt by the anonymous lady in the story to blame swinging for anything is an attempt on her part to avoid accountability.
You can't blame the alcohol itself for the drunk.
PS, NJ may have a lower divorce rate b/c it's one of the few states that still grants annulment instead of divorce in certain cases.[/quote]
And I thought it was all that Frankie Valli music and strolls along the Jersey Shore that rekindled the romance in Jersey nuptials. [/quote]
"Oh Frankie, it's so magical when we go down the shore and watch the waves bring medical waste in!"
Swingers cars??? - What ya driving?? - a 1997 Mercedes Benz C-230 and a 1991 Ford taurus SHO
Bubulaplease - Confidentiality - Something that has bothered me a little bit...when we went to Lumpys the doorman asked if we were there for the Sinful event. We says yes and as we were walking down the stairs some people upstairs asked him what was going on and he said it was a swingers party. I mentioned it to a few people that night and it seemed that it was a normal occurrence. We realize that going to the events we may run into someone we know, however, people who don't know about our lifestyle also go to lumpys. I would hate for them to know there was a swingers party going on and then see us leaving or something. My question..is this normal? Is it this way at, say, Sandy Station? Do the group organizers ask for confidentiality?
Swinger & 🦄 Bait - An experiment to attract swingers and unicorns. - Love your sense of humor, smartflirts. I'd have crawled into your basket while you weren't looking. You'd-a turned around and been asking "who the hell put THAT in my basket?" And I'd have been hoping that there was some kinda rule that once it's in the basket, ya gotta take it home! :)
This one time at Swingers Camp - Discussion about N by N camp out - We had a great time meeting so many fun people. A big thanks to risque soiree and secret desires for putting on another great camp out.
Single Guy Rant - Probably not for everybody - So I'm thinking, how bad must I look at 51?!? And another thing, how could I possibly meet someone out of the lifestyle whom I may introduce to swinging? I have found that the biggest issue with non-swingers is sex. I have thought that maybe it is just the cheating sex they don't like but I don't think that's gonna fly.
Gym locations again 2018!!! - Which gyms are you guys at? - [quote=XANADUME][quote=HELISWINGER]I’ve heard of treehouse. Is it true you guys have butlers? 😂[/quote]
We are at Treehouse. Yes, we have butlers there, but we call them "man-servants or "towel boys." Lol
Ironically we have never even been blinked at, let alone HIT on at the infamous "swingers gym." The staff is fastidiously careful to avoid even the slightest sexual comment or compliment. It's terrible. We just work out, throw up, and go home.[/quote]
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