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Translating Personals/Swingers Ads - - HOW TO TRANSLATE PERSONAL ADS:
WOMEN'S ADS
40-ish...................................49
Adventurer...........................Slept with all your friends
Athletic................................No boobs
Average looking...................Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful...............................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated..............................Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure...............Medicated
Feminist...............................Fat ballbuster
Free spirit............................Junkie
Friendship first.....................Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun......................................Annoying
Gentle..................................Comatose
Good Listener......................Borderline Autistic
New-Age............................All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned......................Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded......................Desperate
Outgoing..............................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate............................Sloppy drunk
Poet.....................................Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional..........................Certified Bitch
Redhead...............................Bad dye-job
Reubenesque........................Grossly Fat
Romantic..............................Looks better by candle light
Social...................................Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray
Voluptuous...........................Very Fat
Height/weight proportional....Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate...................Stalker
Widow.................................Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart. ....................Old bat
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MEN'S ADS
40-ish.....................................52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic...................................Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking......................Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated................................Will patronize the shit out of you
Free Spirit..............................Banging your sister
Friendship first.......................As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun........................................Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking.........................Arrogant
Very good looking..................Dumb as a board
Honest....................................Pathological Liar
Huggable................................Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle.......................Insecure mama's boy
Mature...................................Older than your father
Open-minded.........................Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit............................Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet.......................................Wrote ex-girlfriend's phone number on a bathroom stall
Sensitive.................................Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive.........................Gay
Spiritual..................................Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable.....................................Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful...............................Says "Excuse me" when he farts
can we swing and still not be in sin ? - - mrs. Classy ???.lol. are you frightened that you can't swing anymore ? this post is for REAL CLASSY SWINGERS , real poeple ,real ideas , seriously if you can't handle it emotionally skip it ! don't show us all how stupid and uneducated you are and lack basic knowledge of the daily routines of normal people that live anywhere in the usa .
Game ON....which sign is Hornier...(is that a word?) - zodiac signs of swingers? - he is aries and she is virgo :)
Are swingers moral? - Who determines what morals are? - Morals are a set of rules we live by; some can be bent, some can be broken, right? It's that thing that allows people who are religiously devout to swing despite whatever teachings there are about such things; it's that "twist" in thinking that allows people to be bi- or homosexual and all despite what the majority has to say about it.
It's all about what works for you within the framework of what society considers to be moral. There's right and wrong... but it's really about what's right and wrong for you, isn't it? And, really, if someone busting your ass about your "immoral" behavior, well, what skeletons do they have hiding in their closet, hmm? To that end, isn't it a matter of he who is without sin casting the first stone? I'm thinking there won't be a lot of people reaching for rocks...
Rob
What are swingers really looking for ?Are they looking for frien - Has the happen to you. - First: To Candy -- I think this is the right site for you. I will explain more below.
Second: I have read your profile and many of your posts in these forums. Sweetie, it seems to me that you and your husband are not in the same place regarding swinging. If I am right, this is sad and probably leaves you very frustrated. His aversion to seeing another man even looking at you naked means you two are very far apart.
Third: You are not clear about having sex with another man. Again, it seems that your looking for a bi-woman might be a compromise to satisfy some of your sexual desires. This is a good place to let it all out. It would help us to know how many sexual partners you have had - both men and women - before and since you have been married. Tell us all and lets see what we can do to help you.
Fourth: To experienced swingers -- Candy needs our advice. She and her husband are young, and we all know most young husbands are not mature enough to handle
Sexy swingers closer to our age - 20-30 year old sexy swingers - Nice pictures I wonder why so many people hide their faces
Certified Single Males Program - A new program that benefits respectable single men - I could see a little "course" on swingers ettiquete (sp?) but I think ALL men should take it...My experience has been that men with a girlfriend or wife are far more likely to break "the rules" so to say...
BUT I also think in lieu of that, maybe a system where couples can "ceritfy" the single men as being genuine and real, PLUS the course, the course may be one seal, the certified as cool another....
Who knows...Something should be done to make it a little easier for them...
Black Ring - Who has theirs and how have they caught on? - Explain the black ring thing further. My personal situation is I am not a swinger, I am not part of a couple, I just happened to get involved with a swinger couple and my guy gave me a profile on here. So I don't count as a swinger, I'm just a single girl who likes dick very very much. And people involved with swingers are a good source for easy NSA dick. But I have no problem wearing a piece of jewelry that might let other people see that I have a wild side. As it seems, no one notices, but if more people try? Like seriously if there is a special ring or other piece of jewelry that announces to the world I am a slut and proud of it, count me in.
Would You Tap That? - - [img]http://i.ytimg.com/vi/mkUoJPh_y3M/maxresdefault.jpg[/img]
1) All day long and twice on Sunday.
2) Meh, I've seen better...Deanie Wimmer is a total NILF (newscaster I'd like to fuck).
3) I would SO tap that. And I'd make her bark like a dog (best Bill Murray [Carl Spackler] voice).
4) You are rude, Evil. Heidi is just doing her job. Swingers ARE kinda disgusting ya know.
5) No but I'd do that guy...or maybe have a threeway with them.
6) She makes me want to go on a crime spree so she can track me down and "interview" me.
7) I wanna see her nude mud wrestle Shauna Lake!
8) No, but Hope Woodside gives me...wood!
9) Kerri Cronk turns MY crank!
10) We're meeting Heidi and her hubby for drinks at Habits tonight.
11) Don't know about Heidi but I wanna make Kevin Eubank my little sissy bitch!
Btw, in case you can't tell, in the above pic Mark Koelbel is under the desk givin' Heidi an anal 'oil check' with his middle finger. She's shocked and surprised because usually Rod Decker does that.
[em]Emo_96[/em]
Weeding through the real/ fakes - I wish there was a "validation " on profiles.. - [quote=sugarhouse2]PolyCouple, I think you're pointing to a cultural gap that we've also been frustrated with for years. We fall more into the independently open category, which puts us closer to the poly-lite and kink communities than the swinger community. We've found that a lot of swingers have the men negotiate the process and that's a huge turn off for us so we end up considering it a red flag in terms of what we're looking for. No judgement, it just clearly wouldn't work with our dynamic. We're free to talk to and do whatever we want with whomever we want. And we do. It's just different. But, in general, only hearing from the man does also make it hard to figure out if you're talking to a real couple or if there's true enthusiastic consent involved on all sides. Especially with so much catfishing going on over on other apps. Maybe the site could have badges or tags that filter searches.[/quote]
That might be it. We go out with a lot of couple and play with few. Once we have met for dinner, we're all involved in texting, etc. Prior to that - its been my responsibility (the male half) to set up the dates and coordinate the logistics while keeping her in the loop. It works for us. We generally won't give out our real phone numbers until we have something set up - at which point we generally create a group text to make sure everyone is 'looped' in.
At the end of the day - what we learn from this topic is that everyone's approach is different. We haven't had anyone flake out yet - YMMV. Good luck sexy peeps!
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