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Who thinks swinging should be just like ordering up an Uber? - -
Just, you know, click on your phone and find a willing couple or single and 'wham, bam, thank-you, ma'am' after it's over you use your phone to immediately give them a rating.
There could even be a short questionnaire about things like whether they argued about using a condom, whether their nipples were disgustingly pierced and even if their breath smelled like ass. Just think of the time this would save sorting thru 'binders of swingers' and trying to pick someone out based on a glorified Tinder profile. [em]Emo_28[/em]
Playing Alone - - Couples all have different rules. Many categorically refuse to play alone with ANYONE ever. This is their "security" place. They feel comfortable in the place where they can see each other and "protect" if necessary. It takes some people a long time to get passed this.
It's kind of a 'control' thing leftover from the vanilla life. I'm not saying it's bad, good or indifferent it's just the way it is. Some people take longer to get passed their histories as vanillas than others. As they progress and get more comfortable with themselves, the lifestyle, their partners then they will slowly open up and begin to trust a bit more.
Don't take it personally, that's the key. Many people still hang on to their vanilla background that their partners are their most 'valued' possession. I liken it to my $450 deep sea fishing reel. Sure I'll loan it to someone to use if I'm on the boat with them and can make sure they're taking care of it. Is there anyone I'd just let 'borrow' it out right for the day or weekend? Not a chance in hell.
It takes time to let go of that 'she's/he's mine' get feeling. I think my wife and I took almost 6 years before we got there successfully. We tried many times before that but it never worked out well for either of us. We finally came to a point where it's okay to play separately everything from next room to next state it no longer bothers us. I personally prefer within 30 - 50 miles so she get's home faster for the "after play" sex you're describing (which I really like too.)
You'll have to find a VERY secure, VERY established, VERY strong couple to fulfill your fantasy. They are out there, my wife and I for example but even though we're open to playing separately are we open to YOU playing with her or me separately? That's a different level of trust. Does it mean no? No. It means "maybe" in time it's a possibility. (I'm speaking hypothetically of course.)
Don't worry your "couple" or "person" will come along. You might also try investigating a subsection of the lifestyle called "hotwifeing" while I know few swingers who are hardcore into only hotwifing, there are quite a few that tip toe in that part of the lifestyle (quick def, she plays he doesn't except with her.) That's the post play joy for you and the play and post play joy for her. Most people just bounce between that and swinging. There are people out there just be patient and don't expect it from any current playmates that you have established rules with, they need to progress at their own speed.
Site Weirdness - A thousand less members online than usual? - [quote=BMSHELL][quote=CHEFFETTE]There's typically 1600-2000 members online when I login at any given time; but there's less than 600 online today. The layout appears to have changed slightly as well, (Log Out button moved for example) though no functionality updates I can find.
Has there been a swinger apocalypse? A Rapture in which more swingers were caught up than one would cynically imagine?[/quote]
The number of people online before was total B.S... Basically, if you signed in, it "counted you" as being online for the next several days (even if you clicked the sign-out button). It looks like the admin has tweaked that number down a little to make it more accurate. =)
[/quote]I forgot about that; it would tell me this friend or that was online,actually have the little 'online' peg person (like in the Life game) next to their name when I knew that person definitely wasn't online.
What to wear to a swingers party??? - - Wear whatever makes you comfortable ladies wear something sexy guys don't show up in suit coat and tie or you will be the only one there like that ! Sports shirt and sports pants for a a guy is the norm. Clothing is not really a big deal if its a true swingers party clothes won't be on that long anyways lol.
Norm&Sharon
Nightclubs - - Area 51 is great! So is Hukka bar and grill. Not many swingers there, but it is really fun. Their rules are more lax, so it's easy to catch a quick kiss or fondle. I have not been to Habits yet, but I hear it's a great place!
What is wrong with being a bi male? - - I've always had trouble with the fact that as swingers we are supposed to be open minded and different from vanilla people but when it comes to bi men we are so homophobic, as a group. It's OK, more than OK for a woman to be bi but men have been shunned as bi, in the lifestyle for as long as I can remember and we've been in the lifestyle for about 18 years now. At a hotel after party in a room there were 8 of us and one person made a comment about one time he was doing a woman who wanted him to pull out and cum on her chest. When the time came he cummed at her chest and caught her husband on the stomach. This brought about several comments from the other men in the room none positive and one said that would do him in for the night... Shit happens when there are a bunch of people doing what feels good. What's the problem. As far as bi men go it has long been a stigma that they could or were more prone to disease than a guy who is not bi. Women, even bi women have stayed away from bi men because they think one has a better than average chance of catching some dred STD. While bi and gay men are in the forefront of the HIV thing bi men, in the lifestyle are, I would think, are quite a bit more careful about using protection and who they play with.
From my comments some might think that I'm bi, bi curious, or other unknown by me phrase. I am basically straight but definitely not homophobic. Someone said here that when you are in a pile it doesn't matter who is giving head if it feels good....regardless of what sex they are. I've used this example many times on various sites we have been on. Men who are bi do not want to cross the line and try to turn straight guys. Most are quite respectful for your preferences. Now all we have to do is get the notion that they are somehow dangerous, i.e., STD wise and that they want to turn straight guys. Might be some but I've met a number of straight guys who we find are not that arrow straight when you get to know them. They'll tell you when they find out that you are friends regardless of their preferences.
I think that through sites like these that bi men are becoming much less a thing to be shunned or afraid of. Remember that bi women are as much a threat to your manhood and as much a danger about STD's as bi men. Remember we are supposed to be OPEN MINDED in the lifestyle.
Swinger Friendly Businesses - Business or services friendly to swingers - Anyone on the site do professional erotic photography? In the SLC area
Swinging as solo Male part of a couple? - - My wife and I have been swingers for a while but she is not playing for at this time. She still attends parties with me and nude swims and such. She will goto meet/greets with me to assure all concerned that i am honest about our understanding. I changed my profile to reflect this and it has been since she stopped in January with not outside playtime for me.
I know the world of swinging is a challenge for the single guy and I expected to find less playfriends but I thought that with a full disclosure of the honest situation would have attracted some that appreciate those that don
trip - - is there any swingers on or near smith mountain lake interested in possible meet?
Sexy New Year's Photos - Post up ur sexy NYE or NY pics! - . . . then we were destined to become swingers because . . . I think 'gnome' is the sound my boys made while racing their trucks along the kitchen floor . . . you know . . . gnome . . . gnome .. . . gnoooooooommmmeee!
Be safe - Get vaccinated as soon as you can - Stay sexy in the New Year
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