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Help us out.. Take this Survey - For Utah Swingers - So the results are super interesting, and there are a lot of early/obvious conclusions... but I'll wait to share the complete data set until there are a few more responses... (Over 300 couples have already responded, which is more than enough to be statistically significant).
Lack of Communication - Is it really that hard? - I've been thinking about this thread (and other's like it...they seem to come along every few months or so, along with the ones about whether or not condoms are a good idea or whether we're just caving to the big latex conglomerates) and I have a few additional thoughts.
First, many (most?) emails we receive seem to have about as much thought put into them as one might put into which side of their hamburger to start eating on. If they aren't spammed out to multiple people the senders, at very least, don't seem to have the verbal capacity to write anything beyond, "We seen yer add and wanna put our naughty bits in yer naughty bits." [SIC] Is it that hard to include a little tidbit or two about WHY you think we might be a good match for you and why we would want to take time out of our busy lives to meet with you? And the few that DO contain more than a generic greeting or poorly thought out pick up line have obviously not read our profile (don't necessarily blame them...takes a minimum of a couple of hours to slog through) and don't know what we are and are not looking for. For Christ's sake, give us at least ONE compelling reason why you think we'd like to meet you such as, "We love fisting out stuffed ferrets too and also worship Satan as our lord and master. Let's have coffee."
Second, when did we all become such Tender Heart Care Bears? And why do we necessarily feel entitled to a response to a more often than not spammed out email from people wanting to perv our locked pics? I've only written back to that nice Nigerian prince like ten or fifteen times before I finally got tired of him asking for my checking account number. Do you call back every carpet cleaning company that leaves a message on your voice mail? Do you send a nice polite note back the the guy who's running for president for the Violent Tyrannical Dictator Party and wants you to donate to his campaign fund? I mean, he was even nice enough to send you a self addressed stamped envelope.
So maybe put a little thought into your solicitations. Give people a compelling reason to write you back beyond, "OMG, you're swingers? We're swingers too. We should totally fuck!". This goes double for single guys. Read the profile...even if you have to do it over two or three nights and use a dictionary to look up the big words. Take note of what people are and aren't looking for and especially if they mention your particular demographic. And last but not least, Don't worry about it if someone doesn't write you back. For all you know they've just survived a horrific bumper car accident at Lagoon or maybe they're 2 days in to binge watching all nine seasons of Matlock and haven't eaten or slept for two days. If you're consistently not getting any responses to your emails maybe you're fishin' in the wrong pond. Take a good long hard look in the mirror and ask yourself honestly if Angelina Jolie REALLY would like to fuck you or if you're more likely to hit it off with Steve Buscemi or Nick Nolte.
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How to find other swingers - - Since colored wrist bands are already in use by kids letting each other know who far they have gone, sexually, it would or could make kids think that mom and dad are having sex or something.... We all know that parents do not have sex..... Right? I made an innocuous comment about sex one time and one of my daughters. She said that that was more than she ever wanted to know... I think it had to do with the fact that she came out as a lesbian and I said something, an old joke about we both had something in common.... now. That was more than she ever wanted to know.. I though it was rather funny at the time...
So think about the possibility that a guy might be telling the world that he gave a BJ just by the use of a colored wristband or that mom went down on a female....
Do you only play with married couples? - - Marriage has little to do with this lifestyle. I've found that swingers (libertines) are a state of being or mindset and not a label given to any one group. Singles can be swingers too. Unmarried couples can be as well. Swinger is a broad label. Marriage has nothing to do with it.
-D-
We thought this was educational and should explain a lot about s - keep an open mind. Swingers are spiders. Each to their own unique ways! - You can learn a lot of about swinging from Monkey's as well. If they get it...then we have no problems at all. Be the animal within!!! haha
Looking to establish a group of safe swingers - - We have this very thing and it is amazing!
J&J
Other activities? - Do you only meet swingers for sex? - no,hehe
kristylynn
Swingers Party - Doesnt mean who ever is there is open to everyone elsa - After 11+ years swinging I would have let my wife handle it he way. One should never. at any swinging event, be it a house party or a social, ever come to blows with anyone at that party. You can say something to the person who encroached on good manners but if that has no effect or the person wishes to become violent, go to the owners/people throwing the event and let them know... If the bad manners continue simply let the people throwing the event know that you are leaving and for what reason....If these people are not responsible you might wish to let others know that these events are unsupervised and good ediquite is not practiced there.... But let the people who threw the event what you think first... they may take care of the situation, knowint that their reputation is on the line....One does not have to be nasty either just let them know you think it is irresponsible to let that behavior continue...
The no fighting rule or no violence is one of the unnumbered rules of swinging.
Looking for Advice - Recently coming back into the LS - [quote=Kinkycouple123]Hello!
So I just have a question.
We were in the LS about two years ago.. and since getting back into it, it seems like what we want is not as accepting ( or that we aren't actual swingers). We aren't a full swap couple and I feel like that hinders us from meeting new people and just getting out there.
While I enjoy watching my husband with other women, I have no desire to be with anyone other than my husband.
Is this weird? We have talked to a few couples who just question why were are in the LS at all. They have said that what we are looking for is a "tall order" or that "we aren't actual swingers" which I can understand to a point.. but isn't this site for people also looking to explore their sexuality in a safe place with no judgements?
I would love some feedback or advice if anyone else in a similar situation because at this point I don't feel welcome.
Thank You![/quote]
I think what you are "looking for" is not a surprise... you want a Unicorn... now, asking a couple to "loan" you their female half ( with nothing in return to the other male ) ... yeah, long shot on that for sure.
Good Luck in your search.
Here's something Ive been curious about - - It seems like the lifestyle is no less judgmental than the vanilla crowd. Honestly we aren't here so we can wear the cool lifestyle team jacket nor get our super-secret swinger decoder ring (drink more Ovaltine and use a condom). It's kind of funny that the same group of people who get all bent out of shape at the vanilla community for labeling and judging us turn around and do it from within. If I missed some federal definition of the term swinger than perhaps I'm wrong, otherwise why waste a moment of time passing judgment on who gets deemed worthy of the sacred title? I would have to say the definition of a swinger is someone who says "hey, I'm a swinger!" Be honest, how many swinger couples do you know that never play? They may go to meet and greets, maybe even house parties, but seldom if ever play. Are they swingers? Is there some monthly quota we need to meet to maintain our swinger status? I'm being over the top to make a point. I think of the lifestyle crowd as an enlightened group that realizes sex is amazing and variety is amazing and sex with variety is TOTALLY AWESOME! We forgo the silly social rules and regulations because we understand how much they confine society into little boxes of good and bad, right and wrong; and most of that is subjective moral hogwash. It's kind of discouraging to see members of a community that should be supporting one another pass judgment as to who is and who isn't. Being a swinger is a state of mind baby. Nobody can make you a swinger, nobody can take it away. So in closing to the single swingers out there I say...go swing you fricking swinging swingers you!!!
Now, if you want to define something useful...what the hell is bi-comfortable (kidding, totally kidding I know there are all sorts of threads dedicated to that topic)?
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