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Now that you're one of them there fancy swingers... - - I play as a single male (although sometimes I bring a vanilla swirl along to an event or something) but I've always had good experiences with people I meet up with. I have also had nothing but good experiences at parties, so I guess I'm pretty lucky that way. For me, the lifestyle hasn't exactly turned me into a sex snob or anything like that, but I have gotten used to the open attitudes. It has become much harder (and not in the good way) to play with vanilla females who don't have those same attitudes. Not in the sense of I'm coming on too strong or pushing boundaries harder, but just that "normal" attitudes towards sex and sexual exploration in the LS are different than those in the single scene.
Weeding through the real/ fakes - I wish there was a "validation " on profiles.. - [quote=sugarhouse2]PolyCouple, I think you're pointing to a cultural gap that we've also been frustrated with for years. We fall more into the independently open category, which puts us closer to the poly-lite and kink communities than the swinger community. We've found that a lot of swingers have the men negotiate the process and that's a huge turn off for us so we end up considering it a red flag in terms of what we're looking for. No judgement, it just clearly wouldn't work with our dynamic. We're free to talk to and do whatever we want with whomever we want. And we do. It's just different. But, in general, only hearing from the man does also make it hard to figure out if you're talking to a real couple or if there's true enthusiastic consent involved on all sides. Especially with so much catfishing going on over on other apps. Maybe the site could have badges or tags that filter searches.[/quote]
That might be it. We go out with a lot of couple and play with few. Once we have met for dinner, we're all involved in texting, etc. Prior to that - its been my responsibility (the male half) to set up the dates and coordinate the logistics while keeping her in the loop. It works for us. We generally won't give out our real phone numbers until we have something set up - at which point we generally create a group text to make sure everyone is 'looped' in.
At the end of the day - what we learn from this topic is that everyone's approach is different. We haven't had anyone flake out yet - YMMV. Good luck sexy peeps!
Pink flamingo - How many swingers have a pink flamingo in their front yard? - My new neighbors put out two pink flamingos. I wonder...
BUSTED! Your Kids Found Out Your Swingers. Now What? - - SPERMint, I can't uderstand a thing you're trying to get across.
Does the word punctuation mean ANYTHING to you?
How about spelling - EVER have a spelling class in school?
Didn't think so.
What I would REALLY like to know is, why did you put stripes on parents?
The statistics of swinging - Relationship longevity in the lifestyle. - One thing we've noticed (and even had a few close calls with ourselves) is that, once the initial thrill of swinging/swapping wears off a little bit, many people look for the NEXT big thrill...usually separate play. And THAT, if you're not really prepared for it and don't go into it with your eyes wide open, is when things can get really sticky.
I have an acquaintance in the lifestyle who is a professor of physiology who likes to talk at length about the "love hormone", oxytocin, and how powerful it can be in some lifestyle circumstances. I guess a subset of this issue might be how many swingers who break up do so because they fall in love with someone else in the lifestyle.
One particularly insidious behavior that we've, unfortunately, encountered are men, both single AND married, in the lifestyle who attempt to ply Ms. Evil by saying things like, "If you were mine I would never want to share you.". There are probably a fair number of women (and probably men) who might be susceptable to that type of talk if they're insecure in their primary relationship.
Looking to establish a group of safe swingers - - We have this very thing and it is amazing!
J&J
Swingers Dares - Text for cards in the game -
.... "Give oral to the person to your left" or stuff like "make yourself orgasm in front of everyone" and the list goes on and on and gets even naughtier but nothing that pushes the limits of most...
Can we push the limits a little?
TCmissy... We are shocked and more than a little impressed... The two you wrote down were placed on the list as soon as you posted them, specially the second one. We like the way you think!!!
A Place to Play - I have a new hot topic to discuss - Here in Utah most AirBnB's have rules againts inviting guess and having parties, not to mention to be quite and no loud noice after 9:00 PM, so that might not be a realistic option... however we like from time to time rent a double room suite, but it only works when real swingers attend...
The Fun of the Chase - - I wouldn't even call it "the fun of the chase" as much as just liking to get to know people a little bit before jumping into the sack. I know there are plenty of swingers who really prefer no prelims of any kind and just getting down to the sex but that's not usually us.
For us there has to be an attraction on at least another level beyond simply physical attraction. Personality and being able to carry on a conversation are very important to both Ms. Evil and I. We much prefer to talk, at least a little bit, and get to know people a bit better and maybe flirt and tease and kid around a little bit. We find that it makes the sex a LOT hotter if we like you at least a little bit first. :-D
Go turn on Oprah - re:swingers - We missed it, wish we had known it was on.
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