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Weeding through the real/ fakes - I wish there was a "validation " on profiles.. - [quote=sugarhouse2]PolyCouple, I think you're pointing to a cultural gap that we've also been frustrated with for years. We fall more into the independently open category, which puts us closer to the poly-lite and kink communities than the swinger community. We've found that a lot of swingers have the men negotiate the process and that's a huge turn off for us so we end up considering it a red flag in terms of what we're looking for. No judgement, it just clearly wouldn't work with our dynamic. We're free to talk to and do whatever we want with whomever we want. And we do. It's just different. But, in general, only hearing from the man does also make it hard to figure out if you're talking to a real couple or if there's true enthusiastic consent involved on all sides. Especially with so much catfishing going on over on other apps. Maybe the site could have badges or tags that filter searches.[/quote]
That might be it. We go out with a lot of couple and play with few. Once we have met for dinner, we're all involved in texting, etc. Prior to that - its been my responsibility (the male half) to set up the dates and coordinate the logistics while keeping her in the loop. It works for us. We generally won't give out our real phone numbers until we have something set up - at which point we generally create a group text to make sure everyone is 'looped' in.
At the end of the day - what we learn from this topic is that everyone's approach is different. We haven't had anyone flake out yet - YMMV. Good luck sexy peeps!
How long did it take to convince ? - - We talked about the fantasy of being in the lifestyle together before we started it. As said before, fantasy and reality are two different things. We weren't ready for a date with another couple yet because we were afraid of expectations or problems arising from things that we hadn't thought about. So, we thought going to a swingers club might be a good way to learn about it. There are no expectations and we could ask advice from others.
But, we were so paranoid about running into someone we knew at a club here in Vegas, where we live. So, we decided to check out the possibilities out of state. lol. We went to Sea Mountain Inn in Palm Springs. It was the first time we were both completely nude in front of others. That was a great beginning as we quickly realized that no one was staring at us. We actually became very comfortable quickly. We did notice a lot of sexual activity. But again, that activity seemed normal to everyone there. We met a lot of great people who were willing to give us friendly advice. We commented how everyone seemed so normal. Even though we went with no expectations, we were given an opportunity to be with another couple, who had a nice "no Pressure" style. Privately, my wife and I discussed our boundaries or any other concerns. After we worked it all out, we agreed to play with the couple and loved it! Ten years later, we are so glad we joined the lifestyle.
So maybe, you should try coming to Vegas and go to a swingers club. Check out the scene, talk to some people, and form your own opinions. The club will be as tame or as wild as you want it to be.
Swingers dying out? - Is the utah swinger community dying or becoming to needy? - [quote=T0RQUE][quote=MORKANDMINDY]I think the fact that the site hasn't offered lifetime membership specials for so long has really impacted people's ability to connect with newer couples. [/quote]
Contrare, Mr. Mork. Last month, our lifetime membership was $35.
just sayin...
[/quote]
what you got your lifetime membership for $35...shit they charged me $35.50, and what happened to the endless supply of former Victoria secret models living in the salt lake valley that they promised at my every whim? What ever happened to the good old days when a handshake was a promise...not a way to ejaculate.
Friends with out benefits? - Is it possible to find friends on here who dont want to fuck? - Actually this isn't that uncommon. We've been in the scene for a long time and have seen a lot of couples leave and then try to return and hang around the scene without actively participating because they like the thrill and excitement as well as hanging out with people who don't have a lot of hang ups and they don't have to censor themselves around. Unfortunately, in our experience, it hasn't seemed to work out too well in the long run. Not sure why, exactly. Maybe the real swingers don't want to hang out with people they can't potentially fuck or maybe the former swingers (or at least one of the couple) gets excited again and tempted to want to swing again or maybe it's some different reason altogether. Wish I could tell you how someone has made it work but it just doesn't seem sustainable. It's kind of like a motorcycle group I belong to. There was a guy who would show up at all of our meetings, hang out, talk about bikes, etc., but he didn't actually ride or even own a bike. Finally he stopped showing up because he found it harder and harder to engage the other guys in the group who actually ride. If you figure out a way to do it let me know. We still know a few couples who would love to hang out with swingers without actually swinging.
Are swingers moral? - Who determines what morals are? - Neuroscience makes morality out to be largely born in and more complicated than just "stuff god doesn't like". For example, what one may see as an immoral act may in fact be quite honorable to someone in that person's in group. A gang banger seems immoral when he kills a rival gang member but a soldier is doing the same thing except that we call the gangs nations. What religion manages to do is take false credit for morality so that it can attach additional memes on so we get motivated to do those too. This amounts to "lying is bad so sex must be bad too". The problem with buying into that logic is that not everything churches say are bad actually are and can even override true morality. For instance, a religious hatred of homosexuals. This doesn't always happen and there are many influencing factors (again morality is quite complicated according to neuroscience) but it is often a potent driving factor. The short answer is that the more people you include in your in group the more people you will act morally toward.
Question - do you talk about other swingers? - I think most of us have talked about who we have met before, but there is a line that shouldn't be crossed when talking about others. Like Canitb said...it will come back on them. I think it is nice to hear that another person has "recommended" someone...LOL Isn't that kind of what the real and VIP seal is? If someone is GREAT to "hang out" with, hell I want to meet them. I mean, we NEVER talk bad about someone, but it's good to talk nicely about others. Or am I wrong?
Hollywood Swingers? - - Discretion is the name of the game. You could go through my trash for last 20 years and never find one scrap of paper showing my wife and I were swingers. My computer would be a different story. I guess a dedicated "hacker" could get into my computer but which one would he choose? Anyway, I say that if the Hollywood types want to play it is none of my business, unless of course for some reason they want to play with me.
Game ON....which sign is Hornier...(is that a word?) - zodiac signs of swingers? - aquarius and sagittarius here
truth dare or double dare - - I've loved this kind of thing - forever - and have designed my own games, too.
Glad to see the excitement here for your game.
Anybody up for putting together a convention to *play* such games? I always find that the swingers conventions are focussed on fucking - and I think it would be fun to play some games to lead up to it. Tease a little. Enjoy it. Spend a whole weekend doing this kind of game.
If we schedule it, will anybody attend? When and where should we hold such an event?
And, by the way, I'd love a copy of your game. Perhaps I can provide mine in exchange.
Bikers and Babes Party Plans are final . - Sat Oct 14th Club Tastebuds in Orlando. - Hey guys great question. We will do cars in a pack and Bikes in a Pack all with the same route pre planned the week of . We would like to do it with some cool stops. Like an Adult Toy store and Maybe a Wing House or Hooters and or poss a nice Park. This way if some get separated from others it will not be long be for all are hooked up again. Can Take time to shoot the shit a bit and enjoy the social fun of it.
Then head Back to Tastebuds hotel The Heritage Inn Hang by the pool clean up Cars and Bikes for the Hot Car and Bike Contest. As long as we have the #s for the ride and the Contest we will do them.Need to get some partisapation for this type of event.
We deff will be doing the indoor Poker run and the Wet T Shirt Contest But we sure could use some of you guys mailing and posting up. As of Now 3 Cars are in and 8 Bikes. We plan to ride reguardless and hang by the pool if its just a small quaint group thats cool.
The Fun will realy get Kicked up that night.
We have worked hard on this event and enjoy trying to put on and host a party for Tastebuds from time to time. We hope those of you that have come in the past when we were involved with a party will enjoy this one and bring a few new faces with you.
We would like to take a second to thank Club Tastebuds for allowing us to do the paries we have and are doing like this one. Please note to all even with the added expence the Club does not raise any prices.
We are an average cpl who just want our friends and those we would like to get to know and their friends to just have a great night out. We all work hard and if we can have a blast and others can as well from a little planning and a bit of hard work . Hell we all win.
We hope you guys and all you Swingular Swingers will come out for this Party. Please bring a friend and spead the word.
Thanks Traci and Pat
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