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Wyoming |
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KEY PARTY - - We 'get' and actually applaud the effort to find some way to avoid the often typical cliquey swing party but still have to wonder how feasible it might be in practice. The problem, as we see it, is that swinging is an atypical social construct in that it is driven almost entirely by superficial factors such as relative attractiveness (age, height, weight, body type, breast size, cock size, and any number of other physical characteristics).
When we first started swinging, back around the time Cleopatra was busy inventing hookup culture and the term unicorn, we quickly discovered that swinging wasn't the sexual egalitarian utopia that many people believe it should be. Indeed, there was actually a broad, distinct caste system, if you will, that governed who hooked up with who and who was relegated to the sidelines at least in certain circles or situations.
This might be best illustrated by one of our very early encounters with two couples at a swinger meet and greet back east. One of the couples was loudly expounding on their utter disgust with the concept that people in the lifestyle seem to be so "stuck-up" (their term) and were too concerned about "looks" and other superficial characteristics. They went on and on for probably close to an hour before they, I guess, ran out of steam and decided to leave.
After they were gone, the other couple at the table laughed a little bit and gave us some fairly sage advice. They told us that we would likely meet three general kinds of swingers in the lifestyle. They said that the first couple was the "Hey, you're swingers and we're swingers so let's fuck!" kind of people and that on the opposite end of the spectrum were the extremely picky, "beautiful people" who spent more time "watching the door" at a swing function always looking for the BBD (bigger, better, deal) and who more often than not left without actually hooking-up/playing.
They said that the relatively smaller group in between those two extremes were those who had a little more realistic attitude and who were, while still giving a good amount of weight to initial physical attraction, actually looking a little more FOR reasons to play rather than for reasons NOT to play. They told us to decide for ourselves what kind of swingers we wanted to be and go from there but to never fuck someone that we really didn't want to fuck. *shrug*
As to your idea of making it more of a "speed swinging" type of party, I'm almost certain that there are at least a few people here on Swingular who have talked about, if not hosted, just such a party. It might be interesting if they or any of their guests chimed in as to how it turned out.
Are we really as judgmental as vanilla people? - - Yes, unfortunately some swingers are as judgemental or even worse than our vanilla counterparts. After taking a break for some time, Jen and I decided to get back in the swing of things. We have recently moved from California to Ohio due to me (Mike) being in the military. Strangely enough, we have found more judgemental people out here than were in CA. At a party that we were at, one of the guests actually came up to Jen and said some mean things about her because of her weight. We ended up leaving early anyway, due to bad weather and a drive home. This discussion came up in another forum of a website that we also belong to as well. Just because we're swingers doesn't mean you have to play with somebody you don't find attractive, but you can at least be nice to that person.
WHERE'S THE FUN IN PARADISE - Where are all the fun swingers in Hawaii - I've been back in Honolulu now for almost a month, and hardly see any forum postings about parties or get togethers here in paradise. What gives people? Isn't Hawaii supposed to be paradise? Fun in the tropical sun? If there are any parties or get togethers I sure would like to know. I'm respectable and very respectfull of others. I know the proper etiquet in a party situation. Just hoping that people who are swingers that might travel here know where to go for fun.
BUSTED! Your Kids Found Out Your Swingers. Now What? - - IMO, you wouldn't explain yourself about your monogamous "vanilla" sex life or activities, so why would you about this?
The subject of this thread was about your kids finding out. I'm not sure what age group of kids we're talking about and that can make a big difference. If they are adult children, you can simply tell them you are sorry they had to find out about it and regret that it makes them uncomfortable but it is your private life and will leave it there...in private. I think it is wise to reassure them that you will not do anything to embarrass them (start acting differently around them or other family members, etc.) and that nothing between you and them will change. Before they found out you were still the parent they loved and this will continue now.
If they are young children, it can be a little more complicated. The questions aren't just about the lifestyle but also about sex since they are probably learning and curious about the topic in general. But, you could keep it very simple (& age appropriate) and explain that sex is something adults enjoy privately and that if they have any questions about sex (emphasis not on swinging) you will be happy to answer.
If they pursue asking about swinging, I would just share that this is something better explained when they are a little older and that honesty and communication are valued so you will try to be as honest as you can be. However, you don't need to go into detail IMO. Often, kids are looking more for your reaction and some reassurance and aren't quite as concerned with the actual "words". They want to know their world isn't being disrupted.
The rest of your post mentioned family members, etc. Again, you would never feel obligated sit around and discuss the details of a vanilla sex life so it isn't necessary to discuss the details of swinging.
You could share that if someone has a private question they would like to ask they can if that's the kind of relationship you have with them. But, you can also add that you will only do so if comfortable.
I might stress or emphasize that you and your partner have an open and honest relationship that you enjoy together. There are a number of factors that go into enhancing that relationship making it so special and that they've stumbled onto one area that you've incorporated/explored. You appreciate that it might not be for everyone and you wouldn't expect everyone to understand but that you sincerely hope they would also be as considerate to not judge the two of you. I might add that while you've tried to be candid when answering their questions, you only ask in return that they respect your privacy and not share what they've learned or discussed with anyone else. Include them into the agreement by explaining that you will extend to them the same discretion they extend to you.
Who knows...one of them may have been curious about exploring the lifestyle and you might just be that one person they feel comfortable asking about it.
At the same time, people can be very judgemental so protect yourselves. However these family members found out...it could happen again if that avenue hasn't been fixed. I'm sorry this got so long-winded and I could write so much more. Whew!!! Good luck with this!
Swinger & 🦄 Bait - An experiment to attract swingers and unicorns. - [quote=Smartflirts]So based on another thread and a little quick and dirty research, we decided to test out the efficacy of publicly displaying obvious signs of a person in the LS to attract other members of the LS.
At an undisclosed location in Harmon’s, in the District, in South Jordan 🤫 I loaded a grocery cart with swinger swag. See attached photo. I chose to do this on a Sunday afternoon to filter out more vanillas AND wore a black ring on my right hand, wedding ring on my left. Results: A few weird looks and no LS comments. We’ll retry this at another Harmon’s in Swingerville. AKA: Draper.
Help us out peeps, where is the flaw in our experiment? 🤪 More 🍍 maybe?
Oh and the unicorn cereal tastes like rainbow cupcake batter. Big hit with our little girl. 🤢
[/quote]
Perhaps we need to "bump" into each other and say "hello!" When is the next "experiment?" We'll be there. That would be awesome and full of laughs! We'd be the only ones in the store to get it.
Kik group for UT swingers. - Contact me if your interested in joining a KIK group for Swingers - Well I search for the group and found it currently tight group rules and then something else came up early you need to be verified we will see what happens have a great day everyone
Swingers Next Door! - ABC news story on Swinging! - Haven't seen the show but read the article. The comments at the end were worth the read alone. Thanks for sharing.
Secret Swingers Club Ogden, UT - Clubs - Men don't have to pay if u got the password
Chat room - - We have a discord chatroom full of swingers and zero bots for Utah and the surrounding areas. AZ definitely counts if you are interested let me know and I can send you guys a link. You'll have to verify with Admin because we aren't affiliated with Swingular but its minimal and its a fun group.
Why Be In Utah? - - Actually I've always wondered the same thing about Florida. Substitute the crazy Mormons for the Bibile thumpers from Orlando north into the panhandle, add in the hurricanes, torrential rains, gaters, snakes and mosquitos...besides, I've heard the snow skiing is HORRIBLE there. But I'll bite.
1) No porn. You can buy dirty magazines but (unless you know where to go) hard core x-rate movies are technically illegal to sell. A non-issue in the internet age. If you're still buying dvd's at the local porn emporium you need to maybe update your computer or your media server or something.
2) No real beer. Again a myth. You can only buy 4% (by volume) beer in grocery stores but you can get full strength beer at state liquor stores, restaurants and places like brewery stores. Try getting ANYTHING to drink in some dry towns/counties in the Bible Belt.
3) True to some extent, although Salt Lake City itself is VERY eclectic and quite liberal politically. But at least our LDS lawmakers know basic female anatomy and have somewhat of a grasp of proven basic science. No kooky evangelicals freaking out every time someone mentions birth control or evolution.
4) Most people are afraid of Mormons? Really? I've heard they have horns and the missionaries CAN be a little annoying when you're fucking and they're ringing the doorbell but I don't think people are truly afraid. Besides, contrary to popular belief the swing scene here is alive, active and vibrant. I'd wager that per capita we have more, and more active, swingers than just about any place you can name. All that repressed Mormon sexuality eventually bubbles to the surface and until you've fucked a formerly repressed little Mormon girl who's discovering her sexuality you, my friend, haven't fucked! :-)
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