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Why the male side of Couples are here...? - I will admit I am hoping to spark some heated debate on this.... - (from Terry)
And now I'm starting to understand why Evil and I seem to have senses of huimor that sometimes run in the same direction. It's because, in at least some pretty important ways, we see the world in the same way. I'm here for two reasons. First, I was doing this for a while back when it was one Hell of a lot harder than it is now for single men, they were very nearly completely excluded from the lifestyle which, then, was usually called, by both those inside and outside of it, "wife swapping". The very title, and the basic premise of things then, essentially disqualified single men. Now I'm talking about the late '70s and early '80s. Actual "hippiedom", and the free love philosophy was either diminishing, dying off, or dead, depending on where in the country you were. But we'd managed to change society's general view of some things, and sex was one of the biggest. The attitude change, especially on the part of women, who were no longer automatically "sluts" if they enjoyed sex and didn't need to be married, or engaged, or even "going steady" to indulge, together with effective and easily available birth control (illegal in every state until sometime in the early '60s, even condoms were ostensibly sold as and were labeled as being specifically for "disease prevention", and no worries about deadly and/or incurable STDs had changed the world, and birthed what is often referred to as a "sexual revolution". It was almost like falling off a log to go out on a weekend and find an amenable girl. So why the Hell was I bothering with the "wife swapping" world, when it was so damned difficult to even penetrate, let alone to "get something"? For the same reason I was one of those long-haired (except for my 3 years in the Army) hippie freak. I LOVE people who ignore what the rest of the world is telling them to do or not to do, and I want to be around them. Yeah, there are all sorts of individual exceptions, but, for the most part, as compared to the vanilla people, swingers are more intelligent, more likely to use their heads for something besides a hat rack, and, despite the various complaints about certain kinds of people or actions that pop up here, a Hell of a lot less judgmental and intolerant of people who aren't the same as they are. They, again as a general rule, think for themselves, and don't just latch on to the currently popular opinion about whatever.
Why I'm here now is that I'm married to a girl 24 years younger than me, who happens to enjoy a couple things I can do but which I'm not really into, and she's at that so-called female sexual peak point in her life. And I figure that my main purpose in the world is to do everything I can to make her as happy as she can be. Being witches, we don't have the standard "you belong to me and only me" attitude about our life partners, we don't think sexual fun with some other person does a damned thing to diminish our relationship; if I have sex with Jane Doe or she has sex with John Smith (and maybe Jane Smith, too), we are still the same people afterwards that we were beforehand. So getting back into it, and bringing her into it, was a great way to help her have the kinds of fun she likes, and for me to hang around with a group of people that I really like. And meet and play with girls I really like. I'm one of those weird guys who does read the profiles before looking at the pics, and even once in a great while even send off an email before I've even seen any of the pics besides the main profile pic. It's just a lot more important who she is and what she's like than it is what she looks like. And I'll find lots more girls that I like and respect here than I ever could in the vanilla world.
One thing about what Team said, though. Swinging can bring out and amplify problems in a relationship. But avoiding that is just a question of attitude. First, you have to absolutely trust in your partner's honesty with you. Even though the Mrs. has a hall pass, the only provision being that I meet any guy she might play with before she does, so I can feel like she's going to be safe with him, I know I'd be really upset if she ever started messing around with someone on the side without me even knowing it was going on. But In don't ever even worry about that actually happening, because I trust her completely. Just like she trusts me, not only to not start a secret "affair" with someone, but to never try to even influence who she does or doesn't play with. She knows that when I meet some potential playmate of hers, even if for some reason I think he's a total jerk, I'm not going to say anything. She's the one who will be playing with him, not me, so it's her job, not mine, to decide who's worth playing with. She knows the only time I'll have anything to say about whether she should or not is if I get an impression somehow that the guy can't be trusted to treat her well, and not ever hurt her, ever do or try to do anything she doesn't want. Point is, if you both don't totally trust each other, you're likely to have problems, even if neither of you ever actually does anything sneaky.
The second thing is that you can't have the "normal" attitude about your partner, where you feel he or she is in a way your property, and if anyone else uses your property, you're being stolen from. You can't have that feeling that sex equates to love, the kind of love that makes someone want to permanently be with someone. else. If you feel that way, you'll end up worrying that having sex with another person might make him or her decide they've found a better companion, and leave you. Sex is something that goes with that permanent relationship kind of love, but it isn't what determines it. If you can't truly see, and feel, that sex itself is just another enjoyable activity that you do with people you like, just another form of friendship based intimacy like discussing some problem you have with a friend, you're probably going to have problems. If you're at all, in any way or for any reason, at all uncomfortable with your partner having sex with other people, or he or she is uncomfortable with you doing it, then you're probably going to run into difficulties.
So it's all a matter of attitude. If you and your partner are truly completely fine with the other having sex with someone else, and if you both trust each other completely, swinging isn't going to destroy your relationship. If both of those attitude type things are not really and truly true for either of you, then it just might.
And about that 70 years old thing, Hell, I'm only 6 years away from it, and I haven't yet run into any indications of decline. So far, the girls I've ended up in the bedroom with have been happy with the results. While I haven't yet (thank the Goddess), had to just rely on that ages old bit of wisdom, the one that says "when you're too old to cut the mustard, you can always lick the jar", it ain't everyone that can tie a cherry stem in a knot with his tongue, and I suppose that might be helping me out, but, then again, that always helps out, no matter how young you are [em]Emo_4[/em]
But just in case that needing to be taken care of bit is one of those things that happens all of a sudden, like maybe it hits you at one minute past midnight on your 70th birthday, I think I better get Evil to hook me up with those friends of his, so we can have that room all arranged for and booked. Only Evil's limiting himself. I want 3 if those insatiable 22 year olds, one redhead, one blonde, and one brunette. When I commit suicide, I want it to be a truly memorable event, even though I won't be around to remember it. [em]Emo_45[/em]
I mean, we can set up cameras and stuff in there, then my wife can get it all edited into a good porn flick, and the proceeds can help her out, in case we haven't managed to find her a nice sugar daddy by then.
Christain Swingers? - - Me, male half, am a born again, spirit filled child of god. I grew up Penticostal(sp?), but I have since learned to think for myself. I do beleave that Adultry in the bible refeared to cheating. Going behind your husband/wifes back & sleeping with someone else. It is all in how you look at it & its true translation. Look at "Thou shalt not kill". This is NOT you will not kill someone like everyone says. If so David, who killed Golith would have not made it into heaven. God himself helped David kill Golith & he himself killed others. This in itself would mean God committed a sin. The correct, in my eyes & other preachers I have talked with about this, is "Thou shalt not Kill' Means you shall not committ cold blooded murder. It is all in how you take the meaning. So I do beleave you can be a Christain, go to church & still swing. I could get more indepth but will not :).
swingers dvds - - anyone know the name of some good swingers dvds. please post
Hosts Needed - Looking for local hosts in each major area! -
Hello Chris and I would love to host in the Ohio area.. We host swingers all the time when in the area...We've been in the lifestyle for over 6yrs now and hosting for over 2yrs. so if you are interested in having us host please feel free to let us know...
Swingers in a vanilla bar... - - @JSTJIM72 -- I thought of that, but didn't have reply if they had said 'no' :) (And if they said "yes" -oops, then what do I say! LOL!)
@T4REAL69 - Huh? What typos? ;)
@Darknladyjedi - Sounds good. So, 'Hi, how are you two doing tonight" :)
Secret Swingers Club Ogden, UT - Clubs - The Facebook group just provides information on upcoming events. Keep in mind that it is not just a lifestyle bar, so there are non lifestyle people there as well.
Sturgis 2009 - - When and where is the Testy Festy... have heard about it but not too sure what it is, but have heard swingers have a way of letting others know they swing. We will also be heading back through Helene on our way home....
Recons 6th annual backyard bash! - - Amazing, Amazing, Amazing! The party and the people. Enjoyed everything about it and you recon! Can not wait for the next Orchard party... Every swingers party should have a "PINK TACO" stand in the corner - you think of EVERYTHING. Oh and 801COUPLE4FUN my husband came home with nothing else on but a cute little white sweater and a smile - now I know why
swingin - thought this site was a swingers site - WAAAAAAA...What a perfect name...
The problem is not your spelling, it is the fact that you are in your thirties and still type as if you are a teenager on myspace.com or ae using a phone to text someone...
As to the fact that sex is a part of this site, yes it is...BUT it is also a site for people to find, make, and communicate with friends and those with the same mindset....
NOT everyone wants to see a bone thin model, not everyone wants to see a giant vagina spread open, not everyone wants to be in lingere (sp?) all the time....SOME actually want to think and make friends before they hop in the sack...Ever think of that?
Quit your bellyaching...Get over yourself...And go make a friend....THATS why people post about things besides sex...
THE BIGGEST SEX ORGAN IS YOUR BRAIN, NOT YOUR COCK/PUSSY!!!!!!
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - Laytoncouple801- lol- good for you! LOVE THAT ALL AROUND!
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