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Can I say hello? - What to do in public - Really for us it depends on the people that recognize us and whether or not they have some common sense and are sensitive enough to be careful when necessary. If they are the type of people that can say hello in a public place and be friendly without flaunting their swingers insignia and secret handshake and singing the swingers theme song and such then we have no problem being approached in public. The local churches all have the ultra vocal keepers of the faith that have to define everyone and everything under the Johnny one note shallow interpretation of their religion because it is too terrifying and painful to be a whole complex person and therefore they live for the pats on the back that come from the endless recitations of their creed. There are people that become far too single minded in all sorts of pursuits including swinging that can become just as annoying and dangerous.
Where we are when you see us makes a difference too in what we consider appropriate. If we are in the grocery store or out to dinner with friends or family then saying hello is fine but we ask that anyone that approaches us please leave the swingers content completely out of what you say to us. Do not hit on us. Our friends and family know the two of us are busy and social and we both have friends as individuals and as a couple that we have met in a variety of ways so people say hello to us, which they do not know all the time anyway. Some people that we know are clients and so if we do not offer an explanation about how we know you, our family and friends assume it is probably from work. If we are at a bar and obviously looking playful and sexual in are demeanor and dress and you want to approach us fine, but even then be a bit discreet in your initial approach. If we are talking with someone or obviously with someone then be a bit discreet because we party with vanillas too. If they are people that we trust we probably won't care if they get a hint of what you and we might share in common. Many of our friends and even our family members know we are not always 100% monogamous and they also know we are multifaceted and involved in many things so non monogamy for us is only part of who we are and what we do and not a defining consuming aspect of our lives.
We tend to shy away from saying hello to people in public places that recognize as being in the lifestyle unless we already know them because we do not want to make anyone uncomfortable.
Don't You Hate When..... - List the things that annoy you. - Besides me, list some of the things that really annoy you. Let me start this one by saying... I really think it's childish when someone writes you an email in private, saying all the things that they want to get off their guilty little chest and then they put a block on me, so that I cannot reply. What are these people like 12 years old?
Apparently, following the "Why so much hate in the swingers world" thread, the racial comments that followed and my thoughts on the situation, another floridian couple (I won't mention names), thought I was directing my comments toward them. So, they decided to write me and tell me how wrong I was about them and that I must be hiding my picture because it may apply to me and all this nonsensical crap, only to block me from telling them, they had nothing to do with my remarks.
I would just like to ask these idiots that, if what I said didn't apply to them, why did they get so defensive??? It appears as though the truth may have hurt these two tolerant and progressive people. Why write me, trying to justify to me how you're not racist and that black guys in the Florida area are arrogant and "put themselves up on a pedestal? Here is what they wrote me:
Originally wrote in thread:
"perhaps TEQUILAROSE was confused by my statement, I stated that alot of people have fetish's but I do not know alot of white couples that are interested in black men..."
Email One:
"do not dare accuse me of racism, i have heard of your attacks in forums from other people on this site, it is extremely taboo to say you are not interested in black, and black men seem to love to place themselves on a pedestal, i live in tampa, i know ALOT of black people and honestly i have alot of exposure to them but i have no interest and i voiced what i have noticed in the swing world and i made it clear it was my opinion but do not attempt to play the racist card with me, keep in mind its not nearly as taboo to say your not interested in chinese, mexican, cuban, italian, however its not taboo for a black person to say he or she is not into interracial, its a double standard and its wrong."
Email Two:
"by the way, i do not see your husbands photo, it seems like racism is a sensitive subject for you, since you seem to wear it on your sleeve, is there a reason for the hostility thats closer to home?"
WTF?
Just to kill any presumptuous suspicions that some of you may have, I will say that this couple is from the Riverview, FL area and not Palm Coast, FL area. This mean Kristylynn did not write this. That's the best way to put it without violating someone's privacy. So don't draw any conclusions.
Anyway, I am interested in hearing some of the things that piss you guys off in the lifestyle. So write it down. All I ask is that you not mention any names, 'cept mine. I could give a fuck. I think they best way to understand people is to find out what makes them tick and what ticks them off. No pun intended.
-D-
Swinging and Children Don't Mix With Me, What about You? - Unforgettable experience - I have to say, having children and trying to meet with couples can be very hard on your lifestlye. Family always comes first in my book, but it doesn't seem like every parent thinks that, which is why I'm letting you know why they should start thinking about it.
We thought that maybe if we could meet with a couple that also have a child or has children, that we could have a better, lasting relationship and have other things to enjoy with these couples, besides just swinging. Well, one couple didn't work out with us and I don't know how to go about letting them know they were wrong in what happened.
I'm the only one that even seemed to get upset about the situation and I wanted to get others opionion to make sure I don't owe an opology to them. Here's what happened.....
Me and my husband met with a couple at a swingers club, which was off-premise, and we talked some and explained we had children and that we wanted to meet with couples, but it was hard with younsters and it was also hard to find a reliable and trusting babysitter to be able to enjoy the night out. They the told us they had a child and that if we wanted to talk more and get to know each other better, that we could come to their home for a dinner, with our kids. Now...we explained up front that we don't play seperate and we definitely did not play if we had our children with us. They said that it wouldn't be a problem, no hank-panky with kids around, because they too had a small one. This sounded really great to us, because we thought we found a good couple to be friends with and have some extra benefits too, if we wanted.
Well, things started out okay. We were greeted at the door by the family, and our kids was introduced to their child, and was showed some computer games and such to play. That gave us time to talk a little to the couple and was shown the outside of their home and such before dinner. After dinner is when everything went WRONG. First, I had to go to the bathroom. Well, while I was gone to the bathroom, the Mrs. decide to give my hubby a tour of the rest of the house, mainly the extra bedroom....and when I asked the hubby where my hubby was, he said.."Don't worry about them, they'll be okay for awhile"...well, that really ticked me off, especially knowing our children were now mixed up in this...and our oldest asking where his daddy went with that lady.....that was about the last straw for me....but I was in these peoples home, not mine, and I respect others homes, but in this situation, I was ready to leave, and without my other half....because he too knew our rules of playing.
Well, when the Mrs. and mine came back up, my other half knew I was mad, but for some strange reason, he felt like he had to still play around with her, and in the same room all the children were in!!!! Not to mention, she couldn't keep her hands off him, which was not making my situation of trying to calm down any easier.
When I finally got my hubby alone, I "very persistantly" told him me and the kids were leaving...NOW..and if he was smart he had better be out the front door before me or I would leave him there, and I truely meant it. I was so angry and hurt by all of the happenings around me, I thought that if this is what it's like to try and swing...FORGET IT...my nerves or marriage weren't going to stay together if this is what I had to look forward to everytime.
My hubby didn't get out the door before me..he was too busy kissing the Mrs good-bye....and I mean french-kissing..... but, thank Goodness I got the kids out the door before me....and that didn't help out any on his part, believe me. We stopped swinging for many years after that because of trust with one another and with other couples saying one thing and then doing another.
This particular couple apparently feels that nothing was wrong with what happened, and actually contacted us again after many, many, many years after this incident happened.
I'm not one either to "shun" anyone, but this expereince really bothered me then, and still does, and after them contacting us again, through an e-mail, not by phone, it makes me wonder about my feelings on the matter.
Am I wrong to feel this way, even after all these years? I do trust my husband NOW, after the bad expereinces, because there was one more after that, but it took alot of talking, yelling, and regaining a trust that is hard to achieve after something that drastic that involved your kids in the process.
I e-mailed them back, but I know it was short and blunt, nothing mean, I don't do things like that, but what if they try again to contact us...what do I say?
Any help/advice/opinions is appreciated.
Hope no one ever has to expereince something like this...most marriages would never have lasted unless you really had a great understanding with your mate, and we put ours to the test and passed.......barely.
Im's a Professional............................. - No pic..... blurred pics - We only like amateur swingers.
Permissive still requires permission. - Permissive still requires permission. - [quote=WildNomad]I could go on for days about the misogyny and objectification I have experienced in the swinger world. I'll try to be concise. Here's a quick guide on how to not be part of the problem at lifestyle events. (And when I say "you" below, I mean everyone)
1) Don't objectify women at every opportunity. If my tits are out, they are not out for you to stare at and make comments on every time you interact with me. They are certainly not out for everyone to touch without permission. They are out because I enjoy being naked. Even when I am naked I am still a strong feminist woman. I am not a toy for your to objectify. Treat me like a human.
2) Ask for what you want. Never presume. Do you want to hug, kiss, touch or fuck me? Ask. It's as simple as that. Here's an example. You: "Can I kiss you?" Me: "Hell yes" See? Easy.
3) If it's not a Hell Yes, it's a Fuck No. If all parties involved do not feel 100% Hell Yes! about the situation, it's a no. I see this a lot in one partner "taking one for the team". That is never ok.
There is more but if everyone would do those 3, swinger events would be vastly improved. [/quote]
Just because an actress or actor chooses (Hopefully it was their choice) to be nude on camera, and or act sexual, as in acting, does not mean they owe anyone anything, and they are not granting anyone permission to take sexual liberties with them.
Same can be said for nudity, or sexual behavior at a swingers event. Or on a web site for what it's worth. We suppose, that if we get naked and behave sexually, in a semi public venue, that we cannot completely control who might see us. Granting permission to view, through proximity, does not grant permission to touch, or take any other sexual liberties.
threesome or bang - where do I find these men? - Yea swingular.com has been noticeably a big thing for utah swingers. Or maybe thats because I see them most often? Though doesn't explain the single male idiots jumping up to raise their hands in fucking Clearfield or SLC UT. I'm sure she's eager to wait for you guys to visit southern Illinois.... read you fucks. Anyways. I'm familiar with that area as when I was living in Cleveland I had a girlfriend in Effingham. Sadly your bets bet on here is reaching out to a st Louis group. Or try another site. The reply above mentioned a good one in your area. Which I find to be typically the best route. (Whats popular in your are*) though I'm sure you could use plenty of others as well. Fet has a reasonable means of reaching someone though I found better and stronger responses on here and again its because utah seems to be a massive swingular pop. And failing fet. aff, tinder, etc .
Concerned For A Friend In Utah - Help? - Fresh Home Baked bread and swingers finding something to do on a sunday morning, sounds like a good idea. Hope somebody can help.
what is soft swing - - In our opinion: soft swing, in addition to being boring and kind of pointless, is nothing more than a prick tease.
If we need stimulation, we have a porn collection. If a soft swinger gets really adventurous and goes for an hand job or oral- whoopdefuckingdoo. We're in this for the big one.
Most of the soft 'swingers' we have met have been more like the 'Don't fuck my wife but can I fuck yours?' types
Yawnnnnnnnnnn
Damn there I go offending the soft 'swingers' again... Nobody more sensitive around here than the softies
Looking for Swingers who are from North FL and actually love to - - Hey are there any other snow ski bums out there like us? We have been trying to find a few cpls who might like to go on a southern snow ski trip (Ga,NC) We think it wouldbe blast to ski during the day and all go find a nice warm fire to warm up after until we get so hot the colthing will have to come off and then let the fun begin lol.
N&S
Meet and Greet Interest - Meet and greet - Dies anyone know of an active swingers group in Southern Idaho? Magic Valley, (Twin Falls, Burley, Pocatello )
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