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Indiscretion - - we have a male friend we have known for years. he got a new girlfriend who seemed to be eager to try swinging, she had a few experiences, mostly with us, but then they broke up for other reasons. we still see him but didn't try to stay in contact with her. so just a couple of weeks ago we go to our favorite biker bar, where we are regulars, the band was playing and the place was packed. and there she is, all sexy and looking for a new man, and about half drunk, with horny guys hanging all around her. she was overjoyed to see us, the only people she really knew in the place. so she makes it a point to introduce us to all her new friends, most of them already knew us but not about the swinging part of it, they were just playing along with the drunk chick. then she announces in way too loud a voice "and they're swingers too!"
it was actually kind of funny, 2 other swinger couples we know were there and started sniggering. it is a biker bar, so no real harm done, and some other couples that we barely knew have been making it a point to get more friendly with us lately. so we got outed at our favorite hangout and the skies didn't fall in and nobody even seemed overly surprised or shocked. I didn't want to spoil her good mood, but the next day we called her and let her know that we would prefer to decide ourselves who we want to be privy to that information.
BORED *anything happenin tonight* - - Well ok then fuck it what bar is gonna have the most swingers per capita tonight so we arent alone and guessing lol
What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - I'm home bored, so stop here if you don't want to read a bunch of shite. lol.
I think we both entered the lifestyle with some preconceived notions of what the people in the LS would be like, but that was mostly from our limited experience with being vanilla and having LS peeps try to hit on us. It just seemed creepy, desperate and gross at the time. We assumed most of the players would be super aggressive, ready to fuck anyone and have zero interest in relationships outside of sex. Our initial entry was simply to watch and be watched. We quickly learned that there are just as many wonderful people in the LS as out of it. Maybe more. There will always be the outliers, the few percentage on each end of the spectrum that are more extreme, but that happens in any population. Overall, it was a happy surprise. So that would be a negative expectation that wasn't met.
As far as things we were hoping would happen or expectation that weren't met, we have very few. But we also went into the labyrinth without really expecting or assuming anything. I don't think we were naive enough to think that this segment of the population was somehow immune from the social characteristics that reveal themselves in any other social class or group. You will always have the "cool kids" the "shy people" the "jocks" the "geeks" the people who classify themselves as the "pity party" and blame the world for their problems. Those things will exist anywhere and should. Swingers are a diverse group of people with a few, maybe very few, common goals. Those goals I think are to meet others with social deviancy and those interested in expanding their sexual experiences or simply to meet new friends. Swinging, in itself, doesn't solidify your beliefs in anything else (politics, food preferences, choice of travel location, or even how or what you are looking for as swingers). I think that is where expectations can fail. If a person goes into a situation thinking, "I/we think "x" so everyone else must think "x" as well", they are bound to be disappointed. I've said this a lot of times, the lifestyle is not black and white. Life isn't black and white. There will be frustrations around every turn if you allow yourself to be duped into thinking your way of thinking is more than just your viewpoint, that it is universal to everyone. I see people complaining of flakes, people who meet once then run away, etc. That's how they roll. That's their truth. It's what they are comfortable with or wanting and who am I to judge. That being said, I don't have to associate with them and hopefully learn how to avoid that situation or become more efficient at finding people with similar interests. The lifestyle is work. Sometimes a lot of work. I think it's foolish to think that it should be easy to find 4 people who all jive. Think about how many people you have dated before settling on the right one for you. And to assume that somehow changes in the lifestyle and that after chatting on kik for a few weeks then meeting over drinks will somehow magically connect you. Ugh. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. But I wouldn't expect it. For others, the thought of any connection past the one-nighter is absurd. Why would you want to make friends with your fuck-buddies? It may be too risky and cause too many emotions. Point is, we are all different and that is what makes the journey so beautiful.
And, just a note about flakes, since it is a recurrent theme. Yes, maybe there are more flakes in the lifestyle, but I'm guessing it's specifically related to the nature of the LS. Swinging for some can be very intimidating and frightening. Sometimes the chase is much more fun than the fucking. Not excusing them that do flake, it seems a problem for sure, but I think I understand, at least in part, why it happens so much. There is so much social pressure not to be in the lifestyle and most were brought up without it being the normal way to live. So society is telling us we are wrong, gross, deviant, etc. Add to that the fear of actually getting naked and fucking someone else and it can cause a lot of anxiety in some. When we first started we were petrified to even go the parties thinking it was going to be a fuck/rape fest. lol. Turned out we were wrong but it was a learning process. Lastly, if you are already treading carefully and the couple/person you are supposed to be meeting gives off any bad vibes, maybe flaking is best. It's hard not to hurt someone's feelings and honesty isn't always what happens. I know we have been honest with couples and it turned into a shit-show. Why don't you like us? If you only meet us and give us a chance we can prove we are wonderful. Other's like us, why don't you. It's hard to be honest at times about why there isn't a connection. May flaking be a way to spare feelings? I don't know. There are probably a plethora (Hefe, do you know what a plethora is?)of reasons people flake and some of those my be that they are just douches. But likely there are other people that aren't and are just trying to get out of a situation they are unfamiliar with. Avoid the douches but maybe give those others a second chance.
Evil: always good topics you bring to the table. So you think because people like sex they should be good at it? I know a lot of people who love food but suck at cooking. haha. Maybe having too many options on the table can also make people lazy. I don't have to try hard if I know tomorrow is another partner. To some it's the quantity and not the quality. But I can see why the expectation would be there.
All in all we really have no complaints. It's been a fascination journey. Some ups, some downs, but always and adventure. We will keep our expectations low, both of ourselves and those around us. Less disappointment that way. I'm going back to sitting in my underwear, drinking a beer and watching TV. Zero expectations. haha. :)
Mr. SRO
CIVIL RIGHTS - How it can affect swinging. -
Those Interested,
We are all swingers and our personal rights are important to us. Based upon the evidence in this video, do you think the subject (property owner) in it, had is right violated by the young lady from the government agency? Let me just say, that I believe that the woman had the right to search the adjacent property to the domicile based on probable cause. What do you think?
-Don-
"Ich habe einen kleinen Vogel in meinem Kopf."
Note: Best if viewed with Microsoft Internet Explorer version 7
Moab Utah - Swingers in Moab - [quote=TheAdventurousCouple]Just got back...[/quote]
Castle valley! Did you hit the whole enchilada? We love to ride down there...bikes and each other ;)
Swinger Literature? - magazine articles, books, web articles... - One book that cums to mind instantly is "THE ETHICAL SLUT" And if you're lookin for fiction.. Sci Fi.. "Time Enough for Love" and another is "Stranger in A Strange Land" both by Robert A. Heinlein Not exactly about swinging but more about the lifestyle of either Polyamourous or Swingers in a fashion....The Ethical slut is kind of the grandfather of swinging handbooks and how to pull it off.. The other two are quite good about polyandrous/polygamous/polygynous relationships.. Could be fun to discuss, particularly the merrits and or negatives as it relates to the book/s and how it might relate to relationships in today's world, i.e., swinging...
Recons 6th annual backyard bash! - - Just wanted to say a huge "thanks" to Recon for throwing another Phenomenal backyard party! Everything from The beds in the orchard, the tent, the lighting, the guests, the nudity, the food, the Taco Vendor from the corner of Sears on state...it was perfect! This was the best swingers party we have ever been to! We can't remember much after the second round of margarita's, but the hot, hot, hot people doing the "wiggle" on bed 3 in the orchard is etched in my mind ;) hahahaha! We were Happy to meet new couples, and it was good to see old friends, as well! Recon, we Love you two! Thanks for all your hard work for The 6th annual Summer Back Yard Bash!
Xoxo
Utsluts :)
What Percentage Swinger Are You? - Maybe this is interesting - Pretty small. Some would probably consider us semi-retired or maybe even posers. We've been in the lifestyle for a long time and have pretty much fulfilled all or most of our fantasies so now we're sort of opportunistic swingers. We like to socialize a bit and if the mood stikes us or we meet a particularly enticing person or couple we go for it. If not we go home and have amazing sex with each other. :-)
Swingers unnerve families at hotel - - The hotel should have been upfront with everyone. I may swing but I would not to expose my 1- - 13 year old kids to the lifestyle.
New Years Party (1/2 In Pocatello) - Let's celebrate 2015 and welcome 2016!! - Well, it is that time of year for us all to look back on the year that is just about over and reflect upon it as it has been an interesting year for our group of sexy friends. It is also time to look ahead to 2016 in the hopes that it will be an even better year for us all.
So come on out and join us for a chance to get together some of our sexy friends and welcome in the New Year together. This party will be on Saturday, January 2nd in the Jasper Room at the Clarion Inn in Pocatello starting at 8:00 pm. We will have full bar service and some hors d'oeuvres available. In addition to that we have reserved 2, 2-room king suites for those who wish to break away from the party and have some sexy fun.
Due to the nature of this party and the arrangements we have made, there will be a cost for admission. Tickets are $25 for a couple and $15 for single males and or females. Due to the size of the room we have rented for this party, there will be a limited number of tickets available (30 couples tickets and 15 singles tickets). Tickets are available for purchase online at Ticket Leap (http://idaho-swingers-r-us.ticketleap.com/2016-new-years-party).
We hope to see you there for a good time!
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