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BUSTED! Your Kids Found Out Your Swingers. Now What? - - I actually have expirience in this from the kids point of view. When I was 14 my parents got into it and I put the pieces together myself. There were women coming over and they were having parties that I wasn't allowed to even BE around. I wasn't allowed to meet these people or be at home...my parents ASKED me to spend a night at a friends. So I cornered my mom one day (my mom was my best friend, totally inseperable) and I asked her if they had gotten into swinging. She told me that they had, that it was a hell of a lot of fun, and that she had expirimented with women! We had a long talk about bi-sexuality and alterative sex lives and te boundary we set for ourselves was don't ask, don't tell, and god PLEASE don't let me get that mental image again!
Now that I'm all grown up, I'm seeing swinging from the adult point of view and I see the appeal. I'm looking forward to seeing if it's really for me.
Let's play, rate a profile. - - Wow! I just want to call out some REALLY AWESOME things in this thread.
1) Ucouple - you did a FANTASTIC job of calling out all the things I was thinking about rude3050's profile and you weren't rude or condescending. You were sincere and helpful and that is AWESOME! I hope we can cultivate more of this kind of a culture in this community. Thanks for being the example! :)
2) rude3050 - you took the constructive criticism and advice you were given and acted on it right away, very effectively and without getting defensive. Good on you man! Your profile just improved by leaps and bounds today. I don't have any idea what the lifestyle scene is like in Kansas but the changes definitely improve your odds. Kansas swingers take note of this guy!
3) All the other thoughtful, encouraging and kind words in this thread...kudos all around!
We all tend to get hung up on the bad behavior - sometimes it seems like there is an awful lot of it. I think the majority of the real people on this site value kindness, honesty, inclusion, etc. I'm going to make an effort to focus on and call out the positive more often - starting now. Thanks everyone for the uplift! :)
Here's something Ive been curious about - - [quote=EVILDOERS]I think over the years we've pretty much seen and heard it all in regards to this subject and who is and isn't a "real" swinger. It kind of all boils down to semantics, doesn't it? Is it really that important to label it and each other? If swinging is a more of a mindset then yes, singles (male and female) are swingers too. I think, perhaps, that what some of the couples might be trying to get at (inelegantly IMO) is that in many ways perhaps singles don't really have as much invested in the process as couples do. As a swinging couple (remember it used to be called "wife swapping") you are in effect opening your relationship to some very real risk. If you don't think that's the case you either are in denial or haven't been around the scene that long. Singles simply aren't running the same risk although it could be argued they do have some risks, especially single females who at very least have some safety issues going into sometimes unknown situations alone. I guess you could argue single males also have a few risks as well. Also, of course, there is the whole argument of singles "not bringing anything to the table". An oft quoted argument to denote they don't have a partner to "swap". True enough in some regards but not entirely true in that they bring themselves and variety to the table for those couples not looking for a couples swap or who want to fulfill other fantasies or who have difficulty finding a fourway connection or attraction. Ultimately I think it's unnecessary for couples who don't want to play with singles (most often it's just single guys, a double standard perhaps?) to diss singles by saying they aren't swingers. And it's also probably not necessary for a few singles to complain that they aren't given an equal place at the table when they indeed do not come prepared to risk the same that couples must risk. Bottom line. Swing how you want to swing and don't swing how you don't want to swing. There's actually room for everyone even if we aren't all necessarily sitting at the same table.[/quote]Absolutely agree. Well said Mr Evil! BTW...Do you know if those X-Ray glasses really worked?? I always wondered...still do. I have particulair attraction to "landing strips"....They could be real handy sorting out potential play partners!
Here's something Ive been curious about - - You can't be a "real" swinger unless you're official. We answered an ad in the back of a Spiderman comic book, sent in a quiz and a drawing (boobs and a penis) and they told us we would be AWESOME swingers and to send them 19.95 plus P&H. Now we're card carrying swingers.
If our certification ever expires we're just gonna be plain old wife swappers.
Disabled Swingers - - "Disabled" is one of those heavily loaded but so vague it's actually meaningless words that our pop culture loves so much. This is a subject I am profounding involved in both personally and professionally.
For example, did you know that alcoholism can be a disabling disease under federal regulations, and that alcoholics are protected under the Americans with Disabilities Act just like a child with Cerebral Palsy or a quadriplegic adult trauma survivor in a motorized wheelchair? That's a pretty wide range of conditions and causation! Woudn't you agree?
I am a disabled veteran. A huge percentage of former NFL football players and professional fighters have "disabilities." Some CURRENT players do, too! I have a quadriplegic friend who has climbed Mt. Everest. I know an Army Sargeant who is serving in combat in Iraq and Afghanistan after losing both of his legs. And I know alcoholics whom I wouldn't trust to take out the trash.
So this all seems very subjective, doesn't it? That's because it is! You cannot put people with disabilities in a box any more than you can people without disabilities. Therefore, it is equally impossible to know in advance whether or not you would be sexually attracted to them. You will have to meet them, get to know them a bit, and see for yourself.
But make no mistake: "disabled" does NOT automatically apply to sex! One of the most profound Abilities of people with disAbilities, is the ability to adapt and improvise to compensate for their abnormalities. And some disabilities (like bipolar disorder, autism, etc.) are actually the OVER-abundance of things that normal people have and/or experience in smaller doses or less frequently.
I'm sure you've all heard of the medical condition "Priapism" by now. This "something wrong with you" is when the male penis remains erect no matter what...the permanent boner. This condition can be painful, embarassing, highly inconvenient, and a helluva lot of fun for awhile! But to the person toting that thing around all the time, it becomes a disability. Get the idea?
Tinder? Bumble? - What are your thoughts on tinder or bumble? Any luck meeting ls folk? - Any similar ones for swingers?
Looking to establish a group of safe swingers - - Having a safe group is so very fun.
We currently have a safe group that meets frequently for game nights for laughs and friendly competition (helps to know who is leaning on your hair later).
The group is very diverse in age and likes.
Evening ends in a pile of bodies.
The elusive unicorn.... - Any such creatures here? How many couples have caught one? - [quote=MANDIEQT]Married here with a single female profile. When I swing, I always do so as a single. I've run into several women who do something similar to me or as shared above, who swing with known couples and friends their partners have approved. There certainly are truly single female swingers on here but my experience has been they don't stay single or around terribly long.
Some advice....I've participated in quite a few FFM swinging experiences and the very first thing I look for is being treated as an individual, not just a walking vagina serving up your fantasies. Unicorn hunting can be pretty toxic for the extra F, which burns most of us out quickly. This isn't meant to sound harsh just a reminder to not lose sight of the real people involved and how much that can enhance the experience. Personally, I don't respond to people who don't read the profile, don't treat me as a person rather than a fantsy fullfiller or who want the quick, easy, goodbye focused hookup. I like to enjoy the human(s) I'm with as it enhances the sex for me.
OP.. what does incorporate a unicorn into your lives look like? If it's more polyamorous focused, any advice you get from swinging will probably not serve you super well. I have some resources I can share that are more poly unicorn focused if you'd like. Otherwise, I wish you good fortune in your search.[/quote]
Thank you for stating this. This is exactly why I hate the term unicorn, I understand the meaning, but it dehumanizes the female. Respect is always important.
Hedonism 2 Young Swinger's Week - March 19-27 - Speaking strictly in the context of swingers cruise versus swingers resort... this comparison may help...
-----[ Swingers Cruise Pros:]--------
- Lower Price (compared to resorts, it's USUALLY a little cheaper overall.. )
- TONS of activities to do. Non-Stop entertainment on the ship and on the excursions. (Not a lot going on at the resorts.. one or two games per day is all).
- Many of the excursions are takeovers as well, so you can be naked if you want. (Many of the resorts of topless-only).
- You can be completely naked on most parts of the ship, if you want.
- Dedicated play-rooms. Lots of them. (Many resorts only have one smaller area dedicated for play... which makes sense... generally only 200 to 250 people at a resort at any given time).
- MASSIVE crowd. 3,500+ people on a single ship. You'll never possibly get to know even 5% of the people on the ship. (In other words, you have a huge pool of people to choose from to find people you like!!). Unless you are into older people, this is a HUGE advantage, because on any expensive swingers vacation, less than 20% of the crowd is going to be under 50. (People under 50 generally can't afford vacations like this)....... 20% of 3,500 is MUCH better than 20% of 250 in terms of finding couples your own age. For us, this is the single most important factor.
- Better / more types of food to choose from.
- Higher-end facilities and nicer overall atmosphere. (Cruise-ships are equivalent to a 4-star or even 5-star hotel… swingers resorts are 3-star at best.. most are pretty worn down).
-----[ Resort Pros:]--------
- Smaller, more intimate setting. You'll get to know everyone at the resort at the time you are there.
- Much more laid back. If you like to do is lounge by the pool all day, every day, it's for you.
- You can leave the resort any time you want and venture into town.
- Typically you have better access to phones, internet, TV, etc.
- Rooms are bigger
If you look at the activity list on a typical resort, you'll find there's only one thing going on at any given time. Most people just lounge by the pool all day, every day -- and then they go to club-style events at night. The cruise is totally different... At any given time, you can choose from 3 or 4 different activities (or just lounge by the pool)... and you can still do the club-style stuff at night IF YOU WANT.. (but there's usually other alternatives to pick from).
Honestly, the ONLY major downside to the cruise compared to the resorts is that they don't do the swingers takeover cruises very often. (Once or twice a year is all you've got to pick from). So if you're picky about WHEN you go... the resort is probably your only bet. If you're flexible, don't give it a second thought... the swingers cruise is where it's at. =)
I agree, however, that if you're going to do the resorts, and age is a factor (it is definitely a factor for us), young swingers week is where it's at!
Hope that helps!
Ways to point out Swingers in public - - [quote=BOOBERRIESJ]How about black silicone ring on the pinkie finger - both male and female- match them and you have a swinger couple !! New code for all of us ??? Or 2 stacked rings on the pinkie meaning shared ?[/quote]
Again, how long do you think it would take...weeks, days, HOURS, before this spread via social media? If there was a surefire way to ID other swingers without outing yourself or them, believe me, some swinger would have figured it out by now. LOL
Besides, why is it such a big deal being able to find other swingers out in the vanilla world? For all the uncertainty and the very REAL possibility of misidentifying some vanilla as a swinger isn't it just easier to, say, go to a website where you KNOW everyone there is a swinger and, like, perv a bunch of profiles and shoot off a few emails and friend requests? [em]Emo_28[/em]
Now, if you like to "hunt" vanillas and try to seduce/corrupt/convert them then that's an altogether different thing. LOL
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