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Gym - - There are actually a fair number of swingers we know at our Gold's. There are probably more than we even know about but most of the peeps there seem to be pretty serious about their workouts and don't seem to be looking for hookups. Too bad they don't have like a swinger's hour or maybe a Wife Swap Till You Drop class. ;-)
Birds of a Feather - Finding couples that share similar interests - Speaking of the Bible belt and swingers... We are in NC (by choice not birth) We are not Baptists but we know a considerable amount of swingers who are very much Baptists but play on a regular basis.... The question has been asked at after party bull sessions about religion and swinging and on several other swinging sites.... The interesting thing is that most find no conflict in swinging and their religion. So if you're lookin for Baptists in the Bible belt... Come to NC where the Baptists rule, swingers' clubs abound and baptist's never recognize their fellow baptists in the ABC store or at the club socials...
Is this one of your rules? What is it? is it fear? or something - Does everyone feel this way? - CLASSY:
Good topic! :)
Neither Siren nor myself have set any specific rules about time parameters being met before we'll play with a couple, but as always with many things in life...our playing has it's dynamics and nuances, which are always evolving.
So, to respond to a few of the questions you posed:
Fear of STD's? Not specifically.
Fear of thinking of ourselves as sluts? Absolutely not. Sometimes sluthood is fun!
Fear of others thinking we are sluts? We don't and have never given a patoot about what others think of us.
Values, morals? No way! We are "swingers" after all, and besides...we've both spent our time in an organized "forum" (former mormons), worrying about whether or not we were being "worthy" or if Jesus was happy with us; we're sooo done with that!
Do we have to BBQ before we'll fuck someone? What's the point of that? Besides...sometimes through the interaction of a BBQ you realize, "I really don't wanna boink this person."
If our kids have played together? Nah...children fall outside of the spectrum of the specific lifestyle. They're part of the social nature when we're not swinging with those that we have met during the course of our experiences. It's all good.
Is random sex scary? Well, yes it is...or it CAN be...but especially if you don't practice wisdom and are not reasonable by indulging in indiscriminate sex with EVERYONE you come across. There are some seriously scary-ass people out there! This question is along the same lines as the first question of fear of STD's.
Taboo? Well, hell...yes it is...and I believe that is part of the intrigue; part of the whole mind-game of swinging.
Bottom line: Siren and I have been known to play on first dates, and we've been known to wait a long time, and as can be expected have had a grab-bag of results. We never carry an agenda or ulterior motives (expectations) when we socialize or meet people. We can draw no conclusion using the good vs. bad experiences and if they were a first-time play or not.
We do, however, go with how we feel at any given moment and at any given event. You know...sometimes it just feels right and sometimes, the Mo-Jo is simply not there.
~J~
Something to consider - No means no online too. - 1.) We have all heard, well most of us have heard that no means no in the lifestyle. Does that just refer to in the flesh potential physical contact or does it not also mean online approaches in the chat room or via emails?
2.) If someone will not easily accept no for an answer online when it comes to friend request or in pushing for a hook up will they be just as pushy in the flesh?
3.) If someone sends you a friend request over and over again and you give them the same reasonable reason why you do not want to accept it, and it is in your profile why you would not accept it, will you need to tell them no to anything and everything over and over again if you meet them in person?
4.) Is not understanding no at any level along the way a major reason why some swingers do not find it easy to hook up?
Empty Nester Lifestyle Group - Like Minded Empty Nesters Activities Group - [quote=Nakkidfun]Hi everyone – we had a tremendous response to this concept with over 40 couples asking to participate. However, once we started posting events we had little to no responses or sign-ups.
Given this, we are closing the meetup.com group down.
Talk to you in the forums or on Kik![/quote]
I know, right? It's almost like a lot of swingers might actually end up being sorta flakey. We can't decide if they're just tire kickers, always on the lookout for the BBD (bigger better deal) but want to have fall-back plans in case their first choice for some reason doesn't work out or if they're really just wannabes who are turned on and titillated by the notion of ALMOST meeting people and/or almost sorta MAYBE thinking about getting naked with other people but too chicken to actually do something. [em]Emo_49[/em]
[img]https://memegenerator.net/img/instances/61152555.jpg[/img]
Game ON....which sign is Hornier...(is that a word?) - zodiac signs of swingers? - Here is a link to a poll on The Swingers Board about what reader's zodiac signs are. The majority in this poll is Virgo.
http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/polls-never-ending-threads/7691-whats-your-sign.html
We're a Cancer (him) and an Aries (her).
Anyone been to a Vegas Perfect Touch party? - - A few months ago we went to Vegas. We stayed at Rumors Hotel which is across the street from the HARD ROCK CAFE....this is where the meet n greet that we saw on the main page. Though we wanted to go by the time we did all the other things we were to tired to go. However, We saw tons and tons of people being dropped off both Friday and Saturday night. They were all going to a party in the same club as the meet n greet. Very sexy people if you asked me....tons of them. Not sure if they were all swinger or club promotions that you will find people passing out on the strip. Either way it was happening group of people. We did go swimming at Rehab in The Hard Rock and that in itself told us we were in the right place.....Tons of sexy people.....So would be worth a fun night on the dance floor. So next time we will go for sure and not plan so much at that time so we can go to the club too....So I would check it out and actually find the host....that way she can point you in the right direction and I am sure there will be tons of swingers as well. Sin City indeed!!!!
What's wrong with this??? - Taken from a live profile. - just had to ad a reply to this if you listen to what swingers have to say is you BOTH and i mean BOTH have to be in it together one mate canot do it just to please another it will ultamitly tear the relation ship apart if another couple is trying to convince them then theey to they too must other motives i can see nothing but problems for them she wll feel used and resentful aftwer a time and maybe even guilt all will play haveoc with the relation shipand she will miss trhe true intent to have fun just my humblreopioinany newbes i have ever talkesd to I just tell them streight out you both must be in thisd together
How to get over your hang-ups - - This was posted on the net and felt it was worth a fun read for a swingers posting, even though is was targeted to the mainstream of life. The advice given was a good theraputic read for all who desire to better themselves and their partners in this lifestyle.
How to get over your hang-ups
There are a lot of reasons that sex can be complicated. First off, different people have different drives, desires and expectations. Then there's the fact that we all carry baggage from childhood, past relationships and previous encounters.
Add to this that our culture creates hang-ups about how we look, what we feel and how we act on it, and it's no surprise that what goes on in the bedroom can be a recipe for confusion.
But it doesn't have to be. If you let go of your inhibitions - and these seven deadly sins of sex - you may find yourself in a closer, more intimate relationship
KEY PARTY - - We 'get' and actually applaud the effort to find some way to avoid the often typical cliquey swing party but still have to wonder how feasible it might be in practice. The problem, as we see it, is that swinging is an atypical social construct in that it is driven almost entirely by superficial factors such as relative attractiveness (age, height, weight, body type, breast size, cock size, and any number of other physical characteristics).
When we first started swinging, back around the time Cleopatra was busy inventing hookup culture and the term unicorn, we quickly discovered that swinging wasn't the sexual egalitarian utopia that many people believe it should be. Indeed, there was actually a broad, distinct caste system, if you will, that governed who hooked up with who and who was relegated to the sidelines at least in certain circles or situations.
This might be best illustrated by one of our very early encounters with two couples at a swinger meet and greet back east. One of the couples was loudly expounding on their utter disgust with the concept that people in the lifestyle seem to be so "stuck-up" (their term) and were too concerned about "looks" and other superficial characteristics. They went on and on for probably close to an hour before they, I guess, ran out of steam and decided to leave.
After they were gone, the other couple at the table laughed a little bit and gave us some fairly sage advice. They told us that we would likely meet three general kinds of swingers in the lifestyle. They said that the first couple was the "Hey, you're swingers and we're swingers so let's fuck!" kind of people and that on the opposite end of the spectrum were the extremely picky, "beautiful people" who spent more time "watching the door" at a swing function always looking for the BBD (bigger, better, deal) and who more often than not left without actually hooking-up/playing.
They said that the relatively smaller group in between those two extremes were those who had a little more realistic attitude and who were, while still giving a good amount of weight to initial physical attraction, actually looking a little more FOR reasons to play rather than for reasons NOT to play. They told us to decide for ourselves what kind of swingers we wanted to be and go from there but to never fuck someone that we really didn't want to fuck. *shrug*
As to your idea of making it more of a "speed swinging" type of party, I'm almost certain that there are at least a few people here on Swingular who have talked about, if not hosted, just such a party. It might be interesting if they or any of their guests chimed in as to how it turned out.
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