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Tooele swingers party 2 - Doing our second party - If y’all need some chocolate I’ll join
Thank you Lifestyle. - A commentary about our journey - Thanksgiving just passed us by and Xmas and the New Year are quickly approaching. I thought I would take a long moment of my time, and your time if you are reading this, to tell this massive entity, called the "Lifestyle" how it has changed me this year.
We have been in the Lifestyle for a little over a year and a half. We don't even like the name lifestyle. We prefer "kinky" or "adventurous" or even just "fun as hell", but it seems the term will be around for awhile longer. The wife and I often ponder what exactly the Lifestyle is. Is it a certain set of rules and guidelines that we all live in? Is it the same for us as it is for everyone else? How often does it hurt marriage or relationships and how often does it help? Do we regret our decision to enter into it?
When we first tip-toed into the waters we were intimidated, in awe and totally unprepared for what we would experience. It all seemed magical and sometimes scary. We have and had a great marriage and thought we wanted a new, kinky adventure together. We planned to go slow and we would be fine, we were certain. But we were nervous. We were so sloshed at our first Sinful party that we irritated a few people there, no doubt, and probably made asses of ourselves. We still do that sometimes, but now we do it conscientiously. But we grew and learned quickly and have morphed into what we are today (huge asses).
Interestingly enough, a few years before we entered the LS, we thought swingers were all gross, dirty, sexually infected people ( I am still not ruling some of you out). We had met a couple that harassed us at every opportunity and were the "creepy" type. Now we know people may think of us the same way if they found out, which is sad, because we like to be honest and open with all of our friends. So, like many of you, it is a secret we keep. It is a trade off for doing what we do.
So what have I learned? How have I changed? I have always been a non-judgmental person by most standards, but still I had strong opinions about certain things. One spouse, one partner; that is how it should be done. So what changed? First off, our communication started to blossom about all sorts of things once my wife left her religion. I won't mention names, but it begins with an L and ends in DS. We talked and talked and talked and the more we talked the more we realized that we both had kinky minds and that maybe we should "experiment". So, we made some rules, actually a LOT of rules, and entered the ring. Still thinking one spouse, one partner, but maybe, just maybe we could play in the same room as other people. How kinky is that? Hence our name...sameroomonly. Well, as some of you know, the lifestyle is a monstrous, living, breathing beast and can quickly drag you to places you never thought possible. We made some mistakes, had some great times and just fumbled our way through for a few months trying to figure out where our lines were and what we should or shouldn't do. Then we got smart. We learned to communicate again, like we used to do privately, only now we could do it with other people around. And it was refreshing. No more secret code words (well, sometimes) and no more wondering if what one of us was doing was not condoned by the other. So that is the first thing I think the LS has helped us with. Communication. We communicate like mother fuckers. Better than all of our non-lifestyle friends, for the most part. Are we always amazing and never have bumps? Of course not. Anyone who says they never have drama are either liars or delusional. So thank you lifestyle for our ability to exchange ideas and to be more honest with each other, always.
The next thing we found was that we were making friends at a very fast pace. We made a kik group and had our first party with about 40 people up in Park City only 5 or so months after joining the website. It was a blast. We still host parties and invite new people all the time. We enjoy introducing new friends with old friends. Wait, did I say friends or fuck buddies? Don't we sleep with all of our friends? Isn't that the expectation? Not for us. We have made friends that we know will be around until we are all old and gray. We have lost friends because we wouldn't fuck. There are whole discussions on these forums about how some just want to meet and fuck, because this is a swinging site, not a friend site. And to each their own. We don't judge, but for us the rewards of our friendships have far outweighed the 10 or 20 seconds of amazing sex. We have friends around the world that we never would have met without the LS. So to the lifestyle, I say thank you for all of the wonderful friends we have made. Love you all, some more than others ( you know who I am talking about). :)
The LS has also taught me to be less judgmental and to avoid using words like "never" or "always". Life is full of gray areas and has lost much of its black and white features. Oh sure, I still judge, have preferences and prejudices, but we all do. I just really believe in walking in another's shoes before I make any decisions about someone's life. So lifestyle, thank you for making me more understanding of other people.
Last of all, I just want to say that the sexual journey has been amazing. We have shared many hot, sexy and intimate times with some of you and we have come to realize how similar we all are. We all like sex, we all have a kinky side, or else we wouldn't be here. I have done things that I never imagined would ever happen, with some of the sexiest, most beautiful people I have ever met. I have shared intimate moments with people I care deeply about and others that were just passing through. All have their high points. I have experienced more than most people would even dream about, as have most of you. We are the select who choose to follow our dreams and fantasies. I think we are fortunate. So lifestyle, thank you for all the amazing sex.
In the end the lifestyle is different for everyone. It is a whole sub universe in the middle of a "normal" society. Sometimes we have to walk among the shadows to keep our secret, but totally worth it. I would never trade the LS for my wonderful marriage and think I am the luckiest man alive to be married to my beautiful, amazing wife who has shared this journey with me. Love you, Babe.
As with everything in life, there will be people who read this and like it, some who don't care and some who disagree or will want to pick it to pieces. That is what makes this amazing. There are so many wonderful, different people and the lifestyle is a perfect diving board to jump into the sea of waiting bodies and personalities. So if you are new, jump in, explore and learn. If you are old school, help others to weather the bumps and keep exploring. Long live the lifestyle.
That is a little about my journey, how about you? I encourage anyone to add what they think or feel the LS has done for them, even negative things. Merry xmas to everyone and hope to meet some of you new people. And to my friends, I care about each and every one of you.
The Mr.
Bare Necessities Cruise out of Ft. Lauderdale - Anyone going - Well, it is a nudist cruise out of Ft. Lauderdale that goes to the Bahamas, Half Moon Cay, Key West (two days during Fantasy Fest), and then to Cozumel. While it isn't a swingers cruise, there are a pretty good number of swingers going and should be fun.
Here is a link for it: http://www.bare-necessities.com/fantasea.html
Swinger and/or Polyamorous FB Groups? - - This site has become really stagnant as of late, searches for what we are looking for are turning up mostly the same small handful of profiles which usually are
A. Somewhere we’ve been before and don’t want to go down that road for one reason or another
B. A profile we don’t find to be compatible with us for one reason or another
C. A profile we’ve reached out to and gotten no response, either they didn’t find us compatible or aren’t active enough on here to be checking their profile
D. Further away than we would like
So I was wondering, does anyone have a good Facebook secret group mainly in Utah that is for either swingers and/or polyamorous people? Feel free to message info if you’d rather not broadcast. Thanxx.
Kik groups - Northern Utah kik - Just type in Utah when searching for open groups on kik. They are not all swinger groups, but a lot of them are filled with swingers from North utah, SLC, and Utah County.
If you're adventurous you could also join the Adult Diaper group. Hahaha
Moab lifestyle - looking for what lies under the covers in Moab - Sadly Evildoers is right, at least in our experience. Sure, plenty of swingers travel to Moab, but if there is a notable population of local swingers interested in meeting outsiders, they keep themselves incredibly well-hidden. In fact, you'd be very hard-pressed to even find a single-male to join you, and that's even if you completely toss out any expectations and standards. The reality is that the bulk of Utah's population is on the sexually conservative end of the spectrum.
Secret Swingers Club Ogden, UT - Clubs - Did this meet and greet already happen? I am looking for fun tonight. Newish to town and was in the ls prior to moving here.
Moab Utah - Swingers in Moab - It’s going to be a great weekend we are in Moab now enjoying the weather and trails awesome place!
"Not interested" replies - - It is more common than one thinks... Not responding to a note/email/whatever one wants to call the message one sends from a site to the site... It\'s a bloody shame that people are so rude.. As for the kiss thing...I think people see a profile and want to show it to their SO so they earmark it with a kiss or add people to their friends list. It\'s the only tool one has to tag the couple and easily get back to that profile.. Sometimes people forget how to uses all the tools and then after a day or two they forget who you were and how to find you then another time they are looking and say Oh theres a nice couple lets send a kiss or add them to our friends list.....After a dozen sites similar I think that people may also be a bit shy too.. What do I day to Mary and Phill, he\'s a doctor and has a TV show and I thought he didn\'t like swingers.... I think I\'ll just call and save money on my car insurance ...I\'ll call Gieco... Just a thought... but people spend money to get on a site and can\'t write a note.. They may do fine face to face but to write a note ...... No way....My theory... What\'s yours? A subject for Lenord Nemoy\'s show \"Unsolved Mysteries\".... Which stretches from the inner mind to the outer extremedies.... you have entered the swinger zone.....
Frustration with Friend Requests - - [quote=EVILDOERS]The underlying problem is the "we're swingers, you're swingers" mindset. We've been around the scene for a long time and met many many people who don't understand why we won't just fuck them...afterall, they're swingers and we're swingers...so let's just fuck already. This "hobby" is for fantasy fulfillment. If you aren't at least a little bit attracted to someone for any reason then what the hell is the point of fucking them? Especially when most of us can stay home and have WAY better sex with someone we love. [/quote]
Well fucking said!
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