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Habits tonight?? - We would love to dance - [quote=BMSHELL]How many of the people at habits on a given Saturday night are swingers? How do you know who to hit on? =)
That's part of the fun...always wondering and watching. We usually let the girls decide ... if there's an attraction ... we take it from there.
Appropriate Parameters of Sexual Conduct in Modern Society - Should sex still have a unique status or just be another hobby? - Beard, You did open something up but I'm not sure what.
I had to copy and paste your original here so I didn't miss or get too confused..
One of your last points first: Moral refers to standards as defined by the church, the government or your neighbors(in light of the Supreme Court decission a few years ago about porn) Ethics, on the other hand are something that we define for ourselves based on our upbringing/environment and values that we have defined based on whatever we base them on.
You are right that marriage is a concept designed by religion and the government for the care of offspring and the clear definition of linage for property rights. You use the term marriage, which is a legal term like it is a moral imperative then ask if it should be based on some one or group of common interrests. Then the next breath you suggest that marriage is supposed to be more than any of that and something to do with sharing and intimacy. Finally you go back to somehow trying to make a point, (I'm not sure what that point was) that maybe there should be a conglomerate of reasons for marriage then with the nesxt breath you ask if sex should be forbidden..
Now lets see if this makes any sense to anyone. I'm poly and We swing. I have a lover who is married and her husband knows or us(he is not poly) and B knows of us and we are all good friends. We are, my lover and I, intimate both emotionally and sexually and both non poly mates knowof this. B and I are very much soulmates but then my lover is also very close to that as well. I do not wish to take her away from her husband and I do not wish to replace B. She does not want to replace her husband with me and we are alll OK with that arrangement.
In my heart of heart I am married to both in a very intimate way although I do not wish to procreate with anyone anymore. She feels the same way toward me. I would submit that marriage is an intimate, emotional and sometimes physical union of people.. I did not say two people I said people. We have been taught sex as a negative thing and relationships with more than one as a negative thing because we cannot love more than one person or more than one at any one time... I submit that we can love more than one and that the more we love the more we get back from that...
Swinging is started off as fun between close friends and sometimes the term wife swapping became a reality.... Sex is fun adn swinging is about sex and today alot of times about relationships. Relationships in my opinion are for the benefit of everyone involved... .
So I'm not sure if I understood where you were going but this is my take on the propositions as I understood them.
Depending on any person's opinion or preferences sex and love can be the same or they can be separate or they can be coincidental but it's basically up to that person or couple to make that determination....
We, in the lifestyle, may ultimately be right and marriage may change to a more contractual thing rather than some sacrosanct BS that it has become.... Swingers as a group have more than 3.4 time greater chance of remaining married than that of non swingers. The range of failed marriages is between 66 and 77% in all first and second marriages and some 70% of all married people cheat on their mates. Swinger have a better than 85% chance of marriage survival. Cheating is not exempt in Swinging but I think is is greatly reduced...
I think as swingers we have sex with friends and it can be just that or it can be more... at least for me..
Nature at it's Finest - All Things Earth -
Baseball and golfball-sized hail.
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"Ich habe einen kleinen Vogel in meinem Kopf."
Young Swingers Night - - We will be there:-) it looks as though it will be loaded with sexy people, can't wait to meet everyone
Is it just us, or do you see it too? - - When we started down this road almost a year ago, we were quite worried. As we walked up to the restaurant to meet that very first couple, our hearts pounded as we wondered if we might be making the biggest mistake of our lives. We worried that perhaps "swingers" might amount to nothing more than a motley collection of pervs and freaks. The excitement of possibilities kept us going though, and we're so glad now that it did.
We have met some of you, and although we find you all to be quite diverse, we seem to notice a running pattern of traits that most (perhaps all) of you hold in common. Although the sexual chemistry may or may not have been there for all four of us at the time, every one of you that we have met has seemed well above average to us, on a number of levels. Almost invariably, we walk away from meeting you holding you in high esteem.
Self-confidence is a good illustration of our point. Most swingers seem self assured to a degree that other people often lack. There are many other such traits that we have noticed in swingers. Don't get us wrong. We know you have your flaws too, but we're painting with a broad brush here.
So our question is simply this; Is it just us? Are we imagining this about all of you? Are we wrong and you're all really just schmucks, or, is it possible that swinging (speaking generally) attracts a different sort of person?
We can hear what some of you are thinking right now, so let us state that we are just swingers like you. We conduct no research for anyone anywhere. We are simply surprised by what we think we've found.
Therefore, after meeting so many who seem to be such extraordinary people, our curiosity is killing us. We no longer think that we are just, by pure coincidence, happening upon "all the good ones". Either you are generally who we perceive you to be, or we're just perceiving this whole thing incorrectly.
We want to know if it's just us, or do you also see a pattern of traits among the swinging population (besides sex) that seem common to them?
Can't wait to hear what you have to say about this.
Swingers ski trip to Colorado - - Hi, we are going on a Swingers ski trip to Colorado Feb. 4th-9th. We are looking for a couple or couples to go with us because it's much cheaper that way. It comes to $900 per couple for 5 nights at 1 bedroom apartment, lift tickets for 3 days of skiing, Airport round trip transfer. (Skis rent extra around $100 per person if you don't have your own).
To take virtual resort tour go here http://tours.360house.com/Viewer_pr.cfm?ID=71455
Look for one bedroom or Colorado suite. Looks like very good resort.
Here you can find more info on the trip http://www.astraveloffl.com/
We have been looking to go to Colorado for a while and can tell you that's a very good price.
Only transfer from Denver airport cost $200 round trip per person, 3 days lift tickets cost $200 if you buy it on line in advance and over $250 at the door. So, price worth it. Plus, skiing such a fun and Colorado is the only place in U.S. that comparable to famous european ski trails.
If you are a couple and want to go with us lets talk about it.
Please, be under 40. We prefer local to us couples so, we can meet and see if we all can live together in one apartment for five nights. :)
When is this site going to get back to SEX - - I would suggest that if you'd like hotter topics, provide the threads. The forum has been kept running by people who present topics, albiet sometimes controversal and mostly about things other than the lifestyle.
On other sites to which we belong or did belong the topics were about how to meet women by single men or from people who wanted advice as to how get their spouce, SO, G/F past the talking stages and into the lifestyle...It seems that since there are no questions and everyone is a swinger of experience that subjects from newbies are not here. There are no Newbies here???? MAybe people come into the forum see the posts and figure that they will be looked down upon by all of those hardened and seasoned swingers....
So to facilitate putting this forum onto the swinging scene, people need to toss caution to the wind and take advantage of all of the experience here. A thought just crossed my mind.... could it be that the people here are simply talking the good game. Now that will probably get me flamed from many sides. So please stop complaining that the forum is not about swinging and sex and make it that...
I have a PS for this ....so here's my PS
PS: If anypme doesn't like what I say, I say FUCK YOU !!! because that is what we should be here for..... getting busy....But I could be wrong....
Feelings on Karma - spouses in a open relationship that break the rules, then will allow you to also - Are you serious?
If it sounds like a good topic for The Jerry Springer Show...
People like that are not good "swingers" for lack of a better term. They are foolishly wagering their relationships to be self indulgant (sp?). The Lifestyle is about TRUST. It is about HONESTY. and believe it or not, supreme COMMITTMENT. I dont even really see how your situation has anything to do with swinging. The rules were set. The rules were broken. It is simply CHEATING.
Anyone who would enter in to a committed relationship, whatever type it is, only to break the rules that you two have agreed on as a couple is selfish in my book. This means you had NO respect for your partner. NO respect for thier feelings. And absolutely NO respect for the relationship. So why bother!?
Cheating is NOT a tennis ball to be whacked back and forth between courts, or awarded as some kind of concellation prize to the victim when one is caught. I think that behavior is just sick.
But thats just my little tiny .02 cents.
When does interest become pushy??? - - I've been thinking of this topic a lot since it first came out. I appreciate all of the comments made. EVILDOERS said, "Confidence is sexy", and I agree. I see a coupe of things here worthy of comment. First, in this game, women are totally in control. Sex is probably the strongest power position they have. All men want it, women control it. When they say no, or not interested, it's the end of the line for a man. HOW they say it is different. And how a man receives the rejection is different. Anybody who knows me social or professionally would never characterize me as shy. I'm outspoken and engaged most of the time. Because I've been rejected less than politely for advances in the swingers scene before, and after a lot of retrospection didn't deserve the rudeness of the rebukes, I'm a little more reserved, maybe even gun shy.
The fact is, in this lifestyle, no matter how good you are, sooner or later you're going to get rejected. The person doing the rejecting may have had a bad day and be less than polite, but it also could be that you're not handling rejection well.
Recently at a meet and greet I made an advance that seemed more than just welcomed, almost asked for, but was politely refused. I misread the signals, obviously. That happens to all of us at some time or another. The lady was polite in her refusal, and I think that's the key. I think at some time or another we all will give signals that welcome an advance, but do so in error. When an advance comes that we don't want we can reject it, but doing so politely is key. It's simple common courtesy. If the person making the advance persist, then something stronger may be necessary. Again, common courtesy would be to desist when told to do so.
It's all about treating people with respect. We're in this lifestyle to be sexually connected with others. Advances are generally, but not always, welcome and expected. We need to be polite and respectful in both our advances and rejections, whichever side we're on.
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"Ich habe einen kleinen Vogel in meinem Kopf."