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Thinking of checking out UTAH - Been on this site for awhile, seems like the partys over in Utah - Well, CBUTAH, some of the best people, period, are in the lifestyle. I don't mean the lookie-lous, or people who jump in just because they think anyone on a swingers site will fuck anyone of the right sex that asks. Even though some folks seem to think there are lots of those types, and there are a number of them, they're outnumbered by the real people, the ones who are essentially honest, who are open-minded, accepting and considerate of the feelings and desires of others, and, perhaps most of all, who are intelligent and who think for themselves instead of just following the crowd in whatever direction is the most popular at the moment. Those are the people who make it a real community, not just a bunch of sex hungry whatevers. The others, who are here just for whatever sex they can get and don't give a damn for anything but their own personal pleasure, well, they usually don't get a lot of that pleasure, not over the long run, and mostly they eventually either manage to give themselves away or get tired of trying with little or no result, and then they leave.
And for YOUNGCHARM, what do you mean by "check out" Utah? You're in Illinois. If you mean to check it out strictly online, I'm not sure what you'd get from it. While there are certainly people who enjoy sexting, sex chat and sex camming, I think the majority of people want to meet people in the flesh. If you're hoping to meet someone online, and then visit Utah to hook up, well, there just aren't millions of people who will make a for sure hookup commitment with someone they've never actually met. Many will do a "I like what I see, and I think we'd probably click and hook up, why don't we meet and see what happens?", but there's no actual certain commitment in those situations, and Illinois to Utah would be a pretty long trip if it turned out to be for nothing. The only other possibility I can think of would be if you came here and spent at least a couple of weeks and went to some Meet N Greets or events that were open to everyone. But many of those "open" events bar or restrict single males, and single males aren't usually terribly successful at the first few Meet N Greets they attend. The one way I can think of that it would likely work well is if you have a girl friend who'd like to swing who came to Utah with you. Then you could participate as a couple in whatever events were going on while you were here, and if you were here long enough might even get invited to some house parties, and would be pretty likely to enjoy the visit. IS that what you were thinking of? I'm discounting actually moving here, I just can't imagine anyone doing that for no reason other than to check out the local swinging community. ~ Terry
No one want to try make friends with Hearing impaired?? - - everyone, except the super hot females and those with the over-the-top outgoing personalities, are challenged to find new friends here. the social situations you will find here differ very little from other social situations. should you have problems making friends amongst swingers it isn't because of your hearing. you are just going through the same relationship building challenges that all the rest of us are.
Looking for a few good men - SM's to join SesSy group - [quote=UCANTOUCHMYMONKY]Hi meow,
Your post brings to mind a few points of contention among people in the lifestyle. Some would argue that swinging is implicitly a couples game and that singles of either Gender are not truly swingers. Positions from this camp range from a belief that singles of either gender should be disallowed from the lifestyle to those who believe that only single females should be allowed because of the greater degree of bisexuality among women than men. I can certainly acknowledge that bringing singles of one gender or the other into the bedroom is not the Desire of some couples, and those interested in encounters with single males are certainly a minority. With that acknowledgment, I can say that I also believe that swinging has a different meaning to every one involved in the lifestyle, and to borrow a term from a different thread, that meaning can be very dynamic in that it can change as different experiences in the lifestyle can open new doors and awaken new desires. For most this evolution of self discovery and self understanding is a good thing. I think a variety of choices within the lifestyle helps to promote this kind of self growth.
I would further contend that the definition of the swinger has more to do with one's personal belief systems then relationship status. case in point, relationships and both in and out of the lifestyle end. If a person has come to identify themselves as a swinger, are they any less so when they are no longer a couple? I think not. This brings up another interesting facet of the lifestyle as it continues to grow and evolve. In my experience it has become fertile ground for like-minded singles to meet, date and come together as couples. I much preferred dating single females from the lifestyle over vanilla women because we start out with far more in common with each other as the people we truly are. When I go out with a vanilla woman she always seems to be hiding behind some fa
BD/SM- Why are there no groups? - - I'm fairly certain there are at least a couple of BDSM groups here. Have you tried searching in groups? Not sure why you think those interested in this type of play would necessarily want to keep it private. These days (especially with the whole "Fifty Shades" phenomena) it's practically main stream. But yes there are outside groups...many call it the "Kink Community" who pretty much do this type of play exclusively and aren't necessarily swingers. In all actuality swinging is becoming fairly watered down these days with all the different groups (I'm thinking of polys as well as many other fetishes and play styles) wanting to be included under the big umbrella of swinging. It's a wonder anyone really ends up hooking up these days. LOL
If you accept a friend request... - Is sex required? - I think you're running into the age old conundrum in swinging that people already have plenty of friends and what they're looking for here are friends with benefits...or at very least friends with the possibility of more should the stars align perfectly.
Now if you don't ever intend for that to happen and are rigid in your stated preferences and don't believe in the old adage, "Never say never." then you shouldn't change your profile. There are, sadly, all too many profiles that don't cleariy spell things out and people feel deceived when ultimately they discover that you're just 'using' them for friendship. LOL If, however, you at some point in time decide that it wouldn't kill you to see your wife getting banged while you do the same to some other guy's wife maybe a rewrite is in order.
If that will NEVER happen don't feel bad. You aren't alone. People who USED to be swingers and for whatever reason stopped often find they very much miss the excitement of hanging around with people who are sexy, fun loving and a little bit wild. Unfortunately they often find the same problem. People have plenty of friends they CAN'T fuck and don't see much point in using Swingular as a vehicle for find more.
But don't despair, there are a few people out there who actually ARE looking for friendship first and sex, "If it happens."...or at least that's what a few say in their profile. We're actually one of those couples. We've told people many times that they don't have to fuck us to be our friends. And we mean it. So yeah, we're out there. We might be as rare as the elusive unicorn but we're out there.
ps- You could also consider becoming 'soft swap'. There are more than a few couples who only do that and have a great time without 'going all the way'. Just a thought.
Required info for swingers - - lol
Moving to Utah - - [quote=PEGBUNDY]wow! such mis-information - look at the stats of property evals and such - for the love of Buddha... one can make an intelligent assessment based on fact.[/quote]
She is pretty close to correct. I have lived elsewhere but I like Utah. It does have its quirks but so does everywhere else. Life is what you make of it. There are areas with problems, mostly socio-economic in nature. Poor areas have more crime as a rule. Thus many of the older areas have higher rates of crime and problems in school but not all.
55 to 60 percent of the people in Salt Lake and Davis counties are non-LDS. However since the LDS are evangelistic in nature they have a tendency to want you to come to church. Most have gotten past the idea that letting their children play with non member children is a problem. Once they know you are not interested in joining they tend to leave you alone if you wish. But there are lots of good LDS and Non LDS neighbors.
Work with a realtor and find an area in your price range where there are other children close to yours in age. On the north of SLC, Bountiful through Layton will be more rural as will Harriman and daybreak areas to the South West. There are a lot of nice new homes in the south west corner of Salt Lake County. The east bench tends to be more money but not always. In Utah property taxes pay for schools.
The Provo/Orem area does have more LDS folks by percentage but not necessarily fewer swingers.
Non-Biased Profile Advice: - Want some honest advice about your profile? - We think people can only portray so much as to what type of people and swingers they are with a few pics and paragraphs. To have someone edit it is almost like editing or cropping. We dont really want to meet people who have to dress up their profile. Just keep it real. FYI we have been in the lifestyle for about five years, just new to this site.
Monogamish - - Seems like a day doesn't go by without a new article on the high failure rate of traditional monogamous relationships and the "new" trend toward open relationships. Are swingers ahead of the curve or is this all just new age hooey?
Bashing - Isn't it sad !!! - [quote=CPLINTOOELE]Well Psyche not the point I was making here I can take a good joke and fun play .. I was just saying why even respond to something if you are not interested in it ?? and your only purpose is to down the persons with the idea or question.. yes fun I understand but rude ass comments I don't ... [/quote]Do you have a recent example, CPLINTOOELE? Otherwise I guess ya may have missed MY point, which is usually the most important one. [em]Emo_17[/em] Your last post, the one that people seemed to be jumping on, was a booty call posted in the forum. There are 35 Booty Calls (in my area) right now. Can you imagine if all those people just kept re-posting their booty calls every day in the FORUM area? Nothing would be on the front page of the forum except for booty calls. How 'bout if the party groups, "Perfect" or "Swingers Circle" always posted their party announcements on the FORUM instead of in the Events section where they belong? Same difference, there'd be no Fun discussions left on the forum, only Event announcements (and booty calls). There's an organization to this place and if you use it where possible it just makes it easier and more enjoyable for other folks trying to navigate the site. Apparently you've used the Forum repeatedly for what is essentially a booty call and a few folks have gotten annoyed. It's understandable, I hope.
And, If you REALLY want to advertise your desire to get laid during the daytime, just get in your bikini and stand on the corner of 25th and Wall in Ogden with a cardboard sign dangling from your neck that says, "Cheap Floozy for rent, 25 cents." Seems to work for me!! [em]Emo_54[/em]