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The vent! - Judgements, I'm so tired of them. - In the recent years I have changed, morphed even, into the person I am today. A swinger. Eccentric, confidant, secure, uninhibited, with a puissant sexuality. What I consider "out of the box!" Open, understanding, diverse.
Only within the last year have we dared to call ourselves "swingers" we decided together to change our lifestyle, to change our rules, to change our minds about how we regard each other as individuals.
What I have noticed as I have taken this quest into being a swinger, is how the people in and around my life are noticing this change, and reacting with judgements. They live by different rules than I do, they choose to, and yet they still judge.
Are these people just unhappy with themselves? Are they jealous? Why are they concerned?
I have failed to understand this. Why do they spew hate at me?(I call it emotional vomit) Shouldn't they be happy for me?
If these people are already having averse feelings about me and/or my behavior, how will they react to find out we are swingers?
I now know why some of swingers only associate with other swingers. To bad for us there are few to be found down here in the south.
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."-Mother Theresa
Thanks for letting me vent, here's to living out of the box.
jelousy - how do you handle it - I agree that there should be a discussion espcially if rules or boundries were broken. I see nothing wrong with asking advice from SWINGERS on SWINGING thats what a lot of these forums are about i mean who else are you going to get advice from ,i doubt if your local clergy could help much in this situation. House parties are by there very nature a bit wilder because they are usually smaller more intimate settings but you should know and respect each others rules before you go to a party. open honest communication before during and after is the key even if it means you have to stop the action to make sure you are both on the same page. dont attend another party without communicating to make sure your boundries are set and agreed to.with communication as a top priority you should be able to not only enjoy parties more but actually grow stronger as a couple
Dick Size - - I saw a % study a number of years ago (wish I had saved it.. as this comes up occationally). Naturally my bigest interest is where I fit in the figures (in the 90% range for me)Big, big smile. I knew a couple who ran a swingers mag. years ago and saw the defination of Hung (2 hands full with a piece left over). The ladys say it's not the size as long as it's enough (now what is "enough"?), it's how it's used. I've been too large for one lady and not large enough for one. I think we all seek the perfuct fit and variety is one of the spices of life. Aint research is a wonderful thing!
Bi-Curious - - From most of the people I know, I'd say the correct term would be "selectively-bi". There is a reason many are bi and not gay, because they prefer the opposite sex, but when the right person of the same sex comes along it's "game-on". The key words there being "the right person". I think many bisexual people have a skinnier strike zone for those of the same sex than they do for those of the opposite sex.
I also think that many (but not all) bisexual swingers don't play solo with someone of the same sex but instead only when they are with their spouse.
Correct me if I'm wrong, though.
Orgy Party by Swingers Circle in Las Vegas - - Never been. Have been curious. The only reviews we've heard (admittedly very few) were negative. We're heard better things about Couples Oasis and the topless pool parties at The Artisan hotel on Saturdays. I think it's called evolve Beach Club. You can Google it.
Lifestyles Survey by Dr.Ziggy - - This is currently on Dr. Ziggy's website. It only took a few minutes to actually complete. Have fun!
Title: The Swinging Paradigm: A Demographic and Behavioural Inventory of Swingers
Just a little friendly advise to most single male swingers. - Male swingers - [quote=BENZ41]Single Swinging Males: Staying Thirsty My Friends
from one swinger to another:
This article will definitely not apply to all single males, but if you do take offense to this then you are the rude, pushy, insensitive single male that has no clue that swinging is good adult fun and not your personal way getting access to
Affair Match - - Very well said Lusty... and many others of you... Its not a matter of judgementalism for I too fall on the perhaps wierdly mystical side that "everything is perfect, there is ultimately no "making right or wrong". However, thats not to say that we dont all have 'preferences'. It just seems wierd to attract cheating spouse lurkers to a dedicated swingers site. Did we ever find out if Swingular has a similar ad on the Married Affair site attracting affair seekers to what they might believe is an "easy hunting ground" for tail?
PS... it is sooo good to hear so many speaking about how important it is to hold a field of Non-judgement and full acceptance. For the record, my opposition to this banner ad reflects my present desire to align myself with with open, honest swingers. In my past I have both been a cheater and played with cheaters. Its nice to have evolved into a fully honest, open marriage and found you all in a community of so many who embrace just how strong, good and honorable this type of relationship can be. Thanks to you all and hope to meet many more.
Member since Jan 1st!
Calling All Swingers! - Advertisement in the Crossville Chronicle (Crossville, TN) - What exactly is a ball of wax and what is it used for? [em]Emo_84[/em]
Travel and first time - - I completely understand how she feels. And just for what it's worth, you two are at an age where a lot of couples head for divorce court anyway. There's no sense in driving in that direction if you don't have to. So, in my opinion, if you communicate really well, and are just looking for a little bedroom spice once in a while, going where you're unlikely to build a relationship isn't a bad idea. There are bunches of swinger sites all over the country. I'd suggest looking up a few swingers clubs in the area you want to visit and ask them what the predominant swing sites are in their area.
Once you get comfortable with the lifestyle, and feel like the risk is less, doing it closer to home is fun, and more convenient.