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What is your favorite kind of sex toys? - - We were wondering what everyone's toy of choice is. and also, if anyone has any suggestions on toys, you can pass them along to your fellow swingers. Also, a side topic that I would like to address is when you break up with someone, do you throw away toys you used with that partner?
And yet another side topic, we could talk about toy cleaning and care. Where to get the best deals, what websites or stores in your area do you use? some toys are way pricey, and some toys are dirt cheap.
this also includes bondage gear, special beds (iron beds with loops at strategic places for restraints and whatnot)
this should be a very fun topic!
Singles who are married and cheating - - better get a cup of coffee cuz this is gonna be a long read:
there are a few things you have to take into consideration when you decide to be in the swinging lifestyle. i think the biggest thing is finding out if your spouse is into it. most people, i think, go into a relationship knowing what their spouses boundries are. and then there are couples who evolve in their relationship and the more trust they have in their relationship, i would think it would be like a "coming out" of sorts. like..."hey, um...honey...the johnsons next door are having a party this weekend...and we were invited" "Really?" "Yeah, and i hear its one of THOSE kinda parties" "well, honey..we better wear our crotchless underwear" i dunno..something like that..like, at some point you decide that swinging is for you, right? or you go into a relationship knowing that swinging is an option.
if you go into a relationship knowing that swinging is definetly not what your spouse is into or in the evolution of your relationship you decide swinging is right for you, and your spouse isnt into it, and under no circumstance is it ok....then, in my humble opinion, you arent in the lifestyle. now, if you come to some sort of open relationship agreement if your spouse isnt into it but agrees to let you get some strange, fine. if you take it upon yourself to sign up for a swinging website behind your spouses back, hook up with couples behind your spouses back, then YOU ARE CHEATING!
if you are cheating, then you are just asking for trouble:
1. you are being dishonest
2. you are bringing your drama into someone elses life whether they know it or not. what happens if the wife finds out and shows up at your house party with a shotgun?
3. what happens if you get an s.t.d.? you bring that home with you to your spouse, and if you have them, your children. even if you use condoms you can still get s.t.d.'s, its happened.
4. when your spouse does find out, and they will...you are humiliating them in front of their friends, family, job...cuz somehow they all find out. that leads me to believe you have no regard for someone elses feelings so why would i want to swing with you?
5. you are giving other single people, male or female, a bad name and reputation.
6. you are giving swingers in general a bad name and reputation.
jenn and i are honest with each other. we are not in a place where we are gonna swing separate, we communicate and talk things out so we have a full understand of where eachother is at, at any given moment. if jenn or i didnt want to swing anymore, or if we wanted a break from it, we talk about it. we arent perfect by any means, but we do our best to consider eachothers feelings in this lifestyle.
we dont invite drama into our lives so i would have to say...no, we dont swing with someone who is cheating on their spouse. we would both suggest that if you feel the need to cheat that you should either talk it out with your spouse and seek external help or if you dont think that will help, you should consider ending the relationship. this is all just our opinion. we know its easier written or said than done. but if you arent happy with your spouse, why would you drag them down with this? communicate..compromise...talk it out..but dont be a cheater, cuz its not cool.
Hanging out this weekend - Habits tonight?? - [quote=HERRIMANFUN]We enjoy it if there is a couple we are interested in they have sections that aren't so loud that you can talk. But yes it is loud. And we have run into lots of swingers there lots of times. But I hear that a lot I think most people don't talk to people or just walk up to a stranger(s) and say hi. But I the male half does a lot that's how you meet people and then once you chat a bit it comes out that they are swingers. Not a big fan of he meet and greets it's always the same people unfortunately. And that's great for some but we haven't really made a connection at any that we have been too, yet. [/quote]
We have been to the meet and greets too and we don't go very often and have not been to one in ages. Maybe twice a year we hit one but when we do go we pretty much introduce ourselves to everybody and if we missed someone we didn't mean to. You do have to be proactive to be successful in meeting people or at least reactive in a positive fashion when someone interesting approaches you. We have been to Habits and ended up leaving with someone, but we had already had a bit of friendly back and forth somehow with the people we left with or it was someone we met previously and had at least chatted a bit. We think we have only been there maybe five times altogether. Well, maybe Mr. Delicious will put on a collared shirt just in case we head that way but for now we are thinking maybe the Green Pig sounds fun.
Combining Lifestyle & Non-Lifestyle Friends - - Ah, good topic AC! We're happy to have met many people here that we now consider good close friends that we don't have to hide from when we see them at the mall while we're out with our kids. LoL! It's nice to find those who can be vanilla because our whole life isn't about swinging. So, yes, we have had success in blending swingers into our vanilla lifestyle and we hope to find more:)
Joe & Debbi
courtesy - dates and communication - When we started swinging there was no internet....not like today where it takes a few seconds to find someone you want to fuck and shoot off an email or a friend request. We had to find a magazine with ads for swingers (at an adult book store), write a letter, probably include a Polaroid pic with the letter and mail it and wait for a reply...which didn't always come. So I guess we kind of were conditioned to not really worry about it too much especially once internet swinging happened and it didn't take so much work to reach out. Now it takes so little effort to contact potential playmates that many people often spam out large numbers of emails in a shotgun approach or do the same with friend requests. We've, sadly, gotten to the point in our swinging career where we DON'T respond to blind friend requests or emails that are obviously sent to multiple people (no mention specifically of us or our profile). We used to respond but found that at least half the time we then got no response in return so we assumed the senders got a BBD (bigger, better deal) and were no longer interested. We really don't get our panties in a wad over it. I kind of look at it like an unsolicited spam email from someone wanting to clean my carpets. I really don't feel a great need to respond even though it would be the POLITE thing to do. Although I am seriously considering writing back to that Nigerian prince who wants to give me a million bucks. [em]Emo_67[/em]
That said, blowing someone off after making plans to meet is a douchecopter move and (barring a REALLY good excuse proffered in a timely manner) will quckly get someone on our permanent no fly list. Yup, we're assholes that way. [em]Emo_84[/em]
DAILY CHUCKLES 3 - A LAUGH A DAY KEEPS THE PSYCHIATRIST AWAY - You know... We as swingers already have one social fopa being sex. Do we really need to add anothor being politics? I don't think so, there's already a sickening cloud surrounding politics this year. Hell if we really want to go off the deep end lets throw religen in there too, that way we hit all the basses.
Definitions! - Just in case you never wanted to ask. - A very useful page (pages) of Definitions relating to The Lifestyle...in case you saw something float across the screen and were too embarrassed to ask.
Here's a few pertinent terms...heheheh.
SOFT SWINGING (Soft Swap) -A social, erotic swing party environment where sexual activity is common and available, but not required or assumed. Sometimes used to describe swapping up to, but not including intercourse.
FULL SWAP - A couple that enjoys sexual pleasure with others that includes anything up to and including intercourse.
Anyone have any other helpful definitions pages? I've got a couple more...I'll add them later.
Swinging and Children Don't Mix With Me, What about You? - Unforgettable experience - I have to say, having children and trying to meet with couples can be very hard on your lifestlye. Family always comes first in my book, but it doesn't seem like every parent thinks that, which is why I'm letting you know why they should start thinking about it.
We thought that maybe if we could meet with a couple that also have a child or has children, that we could have a better, lasting relationship and have other things to enjoy with these couples, besides just swinging. Well, one couple didn't work out with us and I don't know how to go about letting them know they were wrong in what happened.
I'm the only one that even seemed to get upset about the situation and I wanted to get others opionion to make sure I don't owe an opology to them. Here's what happened.....
Me and my husband met with a couple at a swingers club, which was off-premise, and we talked some and explained we had children and that we wanted to meet with couples, but it was hard with younsters and it was also hard to find a reliable and trusting babysitter to be able to enjoy the night out. They the told us they had a child and that if we wanted to talk more and get to know each other better, that we could come to their home for a dinner, with our kids. Now...we explained up front that we don't play seperate and we definitely did not play if we had our children with us. They said that it wouldn't be a problem, no hank-panky with kids around, because they too had a small one. This sounded really great to us, because we thought we found a good couple to be friends with and have some extra benefits too, if we wanted.
Well, things started out okay. We were greeted at the door by the family, and our kids was introduced to their child, and was showed some computer games and such to play. That gave us time to talk a little to the couple and was shown the outside of their home and such before dinner. After dinner is when everything went WRONG. First, I had to go to the bathroom. Well, while I was gone to the bathroom, the Mrs. decide to give my hubby a tour of the rest of the house, mainly the extra bedroom....and when I asked the hubby where my hubby was, he said.."Don't worry about them, they'll be okay for awhile"...well, that really ticked me off, especially knowing our children were now mixed up in this...and our oldest asking where his daddy went with that lady.....that was about the last straw for me....but I was in these peoples home, not mine, and I respect others homes, but in this situation, I was ready to leave, and without my other half....because he too knew our rules of playing.
Well, when the Mrs. and mine came back up, my other half knew I was mad, but for some strange reason, he felt like he had to still play around with her, and in the same room all the children were in!!!! Not to mention, she couldn't keep her hands off him, which was not making my situation of trying to calm down any easier.
When I finally got my hubby alone, I "very persistantly" told him me and the kids were leaving...NOW..and if he was smart he had better be out the front door before me or I would leave him there, and I truely meant it. I was so angry and hurt by all of the happenings around me, I thought that if this is what it's like to try and swing...FORGET IT...my nerves or marriage weren't going to stay together if this is what I had to look forward to everytime.
My hubby didn't get out the door before me..he was too busy kissing the Mrs good-bye....and I mean french-kissing..... but, thank Goodness I got the kids out the door before me....and that didn't help out any on his part, believe me. We stopped swinging for many years after that because of trust with one another and with other couples saying one thing and then doing another.
This particular couple apparently feels that nothing was wrong with what happened, and actually contacted us again after many, many, many years after this incident happened.
I'm not one either to "shun" anyone, but this expereince really bothered me then, and still does, and after them contacting us again, through an e-mail, not by phone, it makes me wonder about my feelings on the matter.
Am I wrong to feel this way, even after all these years? I do trust my husband NOW, after the bad expereinces, because there was one more after that, but it took alot of talking, yelling, and regaining a trust that is hard to achieve after something that drastic that involved your kids in the process.
I e-mailed them back, but I know it was short and blunt, nothing mean, I don't do things like that, but what if they try again to contact us...what do I say?
Any help/advice/opinions is appreciated.
Hope no one ever has to expereince something like this...most marriages would never have lasted unless you really had a great understanding with your mate, and we put ours to the test and passed.......barely.
Is there room for the older guy? - Fit and fine BUT AGE? - I live in SLC but most of the swingers I know live in Idaho. I would be happy to hook you up with my friends in Idaho Falls if you email me. They are an active group and very open to new friends but do not belong to this site. So talk to me if you are interested in fun close to home.
Being single myself, I know and understand why it is hard to get with anyone. We all deal with rejection in our own ways. Remember that it may not be anything more than age or it may be that people are just cautious. Age is a big deal for a lot of people. It may not be logical to you or I but it is a fact. Personally I prefer older women. Although I have not met her, you would not think that blueyes would have a problem. I have met hellokity and she is a hot item. It is hard to imagine someone turning down or not being interested in playing with either of these women. But I have heard that same comments from other women that I know in the lifestyle.
If all you want is sex the box trick should help you. If you are looking for friends, I question if that is the way to go. The women I know prefer to flirt and sometimes play at a party because men are really unknown items and they do not want to get trapped.
In SLC, K&K hole regular M&G at a couple of clubs and post here. I have been to a couple or there
Why are people not answering? - - we to wonder why alot on here doesnt reply,I myself knwo we aren\'t a dog ugly couple.
and what really burns us up is,,the ones who send you a e-mail saying they are interested and when you reply back with contact info,,,you never hear back from then.
Santa -All i want for x-mas is a want-a-be zapper so i can do some serious ZAPPING!
MERRY X-MAS TO ALL YOU REAL SWINGERS :z :h :l