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Why are there so many swingers from Utah? - - So many beautiful people in Utah... come down to Florida...one of the SWING states...LOL
Any success on this site? - So far not getting results. Any suggestions? - We are brand new to this as well (Just a few months in)... A few things I can tell you BASED ON OUR EXPERIENCES:
1) A number of the profiles on here are fake. Especially true of the extraordinarily good looking people. It's a tactic used by the management of the site to convince people to join the site and/or buy memberships. (It's not an uncommon tactic of ANY dating site, or swingers site, by the way). But just know that when you send a note off to that ridiculously gorgeous couple with the amazing profile -- they're probably not real. Also note that almost every photo on this site is hand-picked, and VERY VEW of them are a good representation of what the couple ACTUALLY looks like. (9 times out of 10, we've met the couple and said "yeah, they look NOTHING like their photo".) Either the photos are REALLLLLY old, they were taken at a very convenient angle, or they're blurred so much you can't tell WHAT you're looking at..... If you rely solely on photos, you're going to be very disappointed.
2) People in the swinging community are generally interested in people who have similar body-types and similar ages. (I don't want to debate whether this is right or wrong, but it's, generally speaking, a fact). A moderately overweight couple in their 40's is going to have the best chance at hooking up with another moderately overweight couple in their 40's. If you try to go "up", the other couple is probably not going to be interested. If you try to go "down", the other couple is likely to feel a little intimidated. Remember, we're all here to fulfill lustful passions, so understanding where you fit in on the hotness scale is sort of critical if you're going to have success.
3) The site itself is actually a really crappy way to meet people. It's almost impossible to tell if you'll like another couple based on (bad) photos and a profile. Most people are flakey about returning emails, or worse, about showing up. Often times you'll get some response from one person, who then shows your photos to their spouse, who veto's the whole thing -- and they stop communicating. You can REALLY spin your wheels hard if this site is your only source of attempted hookups.
4) Since exchanging emails and photos with other couples on the site is a bad way to meet people, the GOOD way to meet people is to go the parties, the meet & greets, and the other events. This is where you have the best chance of "speed dating" other couples.. where you can quickly judge each other's personalities, looks, etc.
5) The ladies are in charge. Period. You will have far more luck if the lady half of you is doing the communicating and the flirting.
We DESPERATELY wish it was easier to meet people on the site.... We've had one or two great experiences, but mostly just dead ends and flakes. =( However, we've had VERY good success at the in-person events.
Profiles? - - I think for most of us that live outside of the greater Salt Lake area its about location. We live in Southern Utah, which is a swingers wasteland.
Do people even read profiles? I think they just look at pics and if they like what they see they may read part of your profile, but not really pay attention to it.
I think in light of Mr Uthot's advice I may need a profile makeover too! Ours is as generic as the next one, but nobody really reads it anyway, except to pick at it when I post a controversial thread in the forum, then they read every word, mix it up and spew it back at me!
Appropriate Parameters of Sexual Conduct in Modern Society - Should sex still have a unique status or just be another hobby? - Beard, You did open something up but I'm not sure what.
I had to copy and paste your original here so I didn't miss or get too confused..
One of your last points first: Moral refers to standards as defined by the church, the government or your neighbors(in light of the Supreme Court decission a few years ago about porn) Ethics, on the other hand are something that we define for ourselves based on our upbringing/environment and values that we have defined based on whatever we base them on.
You are right that marriage is a concept designed by religion and the government for the care of offspring and the clear definition of linage for property rights. You use the term marriage, which is a legal term like it is a moral imperative then ask if it should be based on some one or group of common interrests. Then the next breath you suggest that marriage is supposed to be more than any of that and something to do with sharing and intimacy. Finally you go back to somehow trying to make a point, (I'm not sure what that point was) that maybe there should be a conglomerate of reasons for marriage then with the nesxt breath you ask if sex should be forbidden..
Now lets see if this makes any sense to anyone. I'm poly and We swing. I have a lover who is married and her husband knows or us(he is not poly) and B knows of us and we are all good friends. We are, my lover and I, intimate both emotionally and sexually and both non poly mates knowof this. B and I are very much soulmates but then my lover is also very close to that as well. I do not wish to take her away from her husband and I do not wish to replace B. She does not want to replace her husband with me and we are alll OK with that arrangement.
In my heart of heart I am married to both in a very intimate way although I do not wish to procreate with anyone anymore. She feels the same way toward me. I would submit that marriage is an intimate, emotional and sometimes physical union of people.. I did not say two people I said people. We have been taught sex as a negative thing and relationships with more than one as a negative thing because we cannot love more than one person or more than one at any one time... I submit that we can love more than one and that the more we love the more we get back from that...
Swinging is started off as fun between close friends and sometimes the term wife swapping became a reality.... Sex is fun adn swinging is about sex and today alot of times about relationships. Relationships in my opinion are for the benefit of everyone involved... .
So I'm not sure if I understood where you were going but this is my take on the propositions as I understood them.
Depending on any person's opinion or preferences sex and love can be the same or they can be separate or they can be coincidental but it's basically up to that person or couple to make that determination....
We, in the lifestyle, may ultimately be right and marriage may change to a more contractual thing rather than some sacrosanct BS that it has become.... Swingers as a group have more than 3.4 time greater chance of remaining married than that of non swingers. The range of failed marriages is between 66 and 77% in all first and second marriages and some 70% of all married people cheat on their mates. Swinger have a better than 85% chance of marriage survival. Cheating is not exempt in Swinging but I think is is greatly reduced...
I think as swingers we have sex with friends and it can be just that or it can be more... at least for me..
ABC SPECIAL ON SWINGERS - - We found the story about the swingers interesting. There were 4 couples there, but the story appeared to be only 2 couples ideas. Swinging is diferent for every couple. One spoke of kissing - good rule - just not ours. The same couple mentioned the use of condoms always happen. Maybe at their parties, but we have seen couples that dont use them. We use them, but some dont.
The second story was just as interresting - Asexuals. Asexuals are determined that they dont need sex or want sex. The truth came out at the end of the story. Even asexuals are having sex.
Statement From Swingular Regarding CW Article - How to protect your privacy. - We've been keeping a close eye on the issues surrounding the recent article by City Weekly. We've decided to post a statement regarding our stance on this issue and also help our members understand how to better protect themselves from this and when future issues arise.
First of all, neither Swingular nor it's representatives have been contacted by any member representing CW to do an article. If they say they have, then the person they talked to was not truly a Swingular representative. If Swingular had been contacted by anyone concerning articles about Swingular or swinging in general, our official position is to say 'no thanks' and pass on it. However, that does not mean that those requesting to do the article will find the information they are seeking, one way or another. Just like you can find an adult dating site, so can anyone else. Otherwise, these types of sites would not be in existence if nobody could find out about them.
We cannot stop those who wish to investigate the world of swinging and from them telling the rest of the world about it. Every time somebody does an article or spot on the evening news about swinging in the local scene, are we supposed to lock down, run and hide? It's going to happen no matter what you do. So our job is to find ways to best protect the privacy of our members and to inform them on how they can protect themselves.
When an article or news story comes out, we have kept track of any unusual activity on the site as well as new sign ups from that local area. The recent CW article has not produced any extra or unusual activity from the Salt Lake City area. In fact, it's been a bit lower. We've averaged about 8-10 new sign ups a day from the Salt Lake City area for the past 14 days compared to 12-14 new sign ups a day in October. So the actual publicity and/or exposure from this has been minimal if at all.
The reality of it is this. If my family didn't know I was a swinger and saw an article about swinging, I guarantee they aren't going to 'check' if anyone they know is. They'd rather not know. I think the majority of non-swingers would rather NOT find out if someone in their family was. Yes, there may be a few more lookie lous, but I guarantee you they are looking because they are curious about it, not because they are against it. If you are against porn, are you going to go to a porn site to see what kind of porn is out there? I don't think so. I think you would stay away from something you don't believe in. And that seems to be the case with this recent article according to the stats.
Even if someone decides to check it out and see, the only thing they will be able to see is your basic info and your primary photo. Only paying members can see your full albums and only your friends can see your private albums. I don't think many people are going to pay for a membership just to find out if their friends and family are swingers. I'm sure they don't want their hard earned money profiting a site like this.
We have been in this business for over 8 years and have seen it all and we can tell you it's more paranoia than anything. What it comes down to is what you need to do to be able to enjoy this site and at the same time, protect your privacy. So we have come up with some things that you can do to be able to move forward and not worry every time someone or some reporter starts talking about the lifestyle.
1. Use a unique username that none of your non-lifestyle friends know of. If you need to change it, please contact us.
2. Do not post anything that can identify you personally in your profile descriptions such as addresses and phone numbers or visible tatoos.
3. Post faceless pictures in your public album. Make sure you don't expose anything on you or around you that someone can identify. You don't need to post cartoons or backgrounds, etc... Nobody is going to figure out who you are with faceless pictures. If you need help editing your images, contact us and we will edit them for you or recommend someone who can. You can also use a free online photo editing site such as www.picnik.com.
4. Do not post any identifiable information in the forums just like I mentioned in #2 above.
5. Use caution when adding friends. Get to know someone first.
6. Use caution when allowing others to see your pictures. There are a lot of picture collectors and fakes out there so if you get a request to see your private album from a couple or single female, voice verify first by phone.
7. Use caution when sending or replying to emails. Use your initials instead of your full names or use aliases until you get to know someone a little better.
8. And last, let these things go. The more you talk about it, the more you feed the fire. I know it's great drama and presents conversation but you're only bringing more attention to the topic. Sooner than later, it will die, if you let it.
By following these simple suggestions, you will be able to maintain your privacy and still be able to enjoy using a website like this to meet others. It's not necessary to completely such down your profile in fear. Are you going to do this every time it happens? Well then you might as well just remove yourself from the scene then because it's going to come up again sooner or later. It's inevitable.
We hope this helps some of you and hope it helps clear up some of your concerns. Your privacy is our top priority so if you have any questions or concerns, please contact us.
Note: We have removed any negativity or hate posts surrounding these issues. We feel that it is hurting the lifestyle as a whole and does not belong on a site like this. We have had many new members contact us saying they do not wish to be a part of a site with so much hate. That is not the intention of a Swingers dating site. Therefore, we will be removing any new postings that involve hate and negativity. If you wish to debate in a friendly matter or post your opinion in a non-threatening or mature way, then do so. We do not believe in censorship however we do believe in providing a safe, comfortable and friendly place for everyone in the lifestyle to enjoy.
BOGEY\'S TONIGHT - - A bunch of us wild swingers are meeting tonight at Bogey\'s in Clearfield for drinking and dancing. Come join us. We will be there around 930pm-10pm. There will be an afterparty at our house. Hope to see you tonight.
asking your swinger friend if you can join them. - - "I am not in the lifestyle and don't think I ever really fully would be"
"K USSIR your not a swinger but you wanna have sex with you friends wife with your friend there? HMMMMMMM I smell a swinger in the making"
Naw, I smell a single guy who just wants to get laid. If you aren't really interested in swinging just leave it alone and get your jollies elsewhere. There are plenty of ways for you to get your rocks off in bars and clubs and on Craigslist. It's your VERY common SM attitude that makes it tough for the very few single guys who get it and really want to be part of the lifestyle. No wonder so many people constantly say that singles aren't really swingers. But don't worry. You aren't alone. We've met TONS of single dudes over the years who've admitted that they would NEVER allow their wife (if they ever got married) to fuck another man. Swinging is an attitude and a mindset. A guy who would let you fuck his wife is risking a lot and sharing with you the most important thing in his life. If you can't grasp that concept you should just stay home and jerk it to online porn.
Paranoia Strikes Again - - [quote=ILLUSTRATOR]Her security clearance level would be impossible for any of us on this site to predict. It all depends on what they decide she will know that they don't want the rest of the world to know. That will be determined by the unique particulars of the job she will be doing. Unless someone on here has done the exact same job, it's a rare person who will have the knowledge you're searching for from us.
And Cheffette is absolutely correct. They will find everything possible on you, and mostly from those who know you. "Why don't you like pie? Your 5th-grade cafeteria monitor said you threw yours at another kid." Yes. They will check that out. They will scour all your social media, probably even hack your computer (maybe they're doing it right now as you're asking these very questions of us). Anything that can compromise your wife enough to make her give away secrets will be checked and they will ask you about it. That's regardless of a Secret or Top Secret status. Does everyone around you know you're swingers? What would you do to keep them from finding out? Sell secrets? That's what they'll be asking themselves.
If she thinks she may not get the job by being on Swingular, You should probably delete the account, scrub your hard drive and stop telling people on the forums about your wife's impending security clearance background check. You may be doing more damage than you think, and, if they do find that you're on here, posting this in the forums, they will see that you aren't capable of keeping your own private matters under control which will make her undesirable and a risk to them.
That's why I'm wondering if anyone knows anythng about that job. Clearance levels are assigned to different jobs, whether someone's military or a civilian. Although it isn't too unusual for somone to start with one clearance then have to get a higher one if their job or resonsibiities change. Like they start out as a worker bee on something with just a Secret but some years later become a supervisor over others doing that same job, and have to have a Top Secret. Or like when I reenlisted in the Army in '79, all I needed for my job was a Secret. Then they later sent me to a school in Monterey for a different kind of job, and I needed a Top Secret with a Sensitive Compartmented Information endorsement, so they did one of those Special Background Investigations.
Las Vegas - Who knows the in's and out's of Red Rooster - "Go to the w w w . lvrj . com and research the keywords "swingers" "bust" etc. There has been many busts at all the clubs cuz of lack of business license. The only club with license is Green Door and REd Rooster II. "
Both of these places have licenses as "health" clubs, there is no such thing as a license for a swing club, Sunrise Manor was the only recent place busted and shut down due to it's proximity to housing and the neighbors caught wind of what was going on inside.
You would be wise to stay away from both.
Mike at The Red Rooster has successfully kept the law away from his place for years and has been on TV numerous times and interviewed about the place and swinging in general.
We've attended parties at the Red Rooster and Couples Oasis and can recommend both - both have a No means No policy and have a mix of all ages shapes and sizes of people depending on the nights you attend, with Fri & Sat being your best bet