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Single Males ~VS~ Single Females - Whats the difference? - OK...
How many times do we have to beat the proverbial dead horse?
NOTHING in this thread is new, aside from one guy getting letters from Honduras or some other odd shit.
The reality of it is this: Single Men tend to be pushy, arrogant, looking to "fuck your wife like you wish you could," and other various piggish things, HOWEVER, there are those, T4REAL is among them, that are swingers...The problem is that there are MANY of the former, and FEW of the later.
Between the insecurity, the preferences, and the assholes, it makes for an uphill climb for a single male.
The best advice I can give single males is this: DO NOT FEED THE STEREOTYPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If the profile says, NO SINGLE MALES...don't write...you are NOT special...If they respond negatively, do NOT write back and ask why or make a snide remark....Just let it go...
IF you are reading a profile and it says, "WE WILL CONTACT YOU" let them contact you...Come on...The profile says that for a reason...
Now...On to the clubs...Someone stated that they paid $70 to get into a club, but got laid with dinner and all for less...Sorry, but that sounds like prostitution...NOTwhat the lifestyle is about...Why do they charge more for single men? because the single man will pay it...They do not run a club as a "Lets get single men layed charity" it is a business...the sole purpose of a business is to make money...That whole discussion is the EXACT reason so many couples say NO SINGLE MEN...What a prick...If I were you, I would delete that piece...You will NEVER get laid with that type of shit floating around here...
Another reason single men are so frowned upon, how many times have you seen a profile with nothing but a dick picture? OK>.....You ARE a male, we must assume you have one...Why not put something else on? If you read profiles, MOST say, "WE DO NOT NEED A COCK SHOT" only a few want to make sure the goods are good...so why would you post nothign but a cock shot? Then there is the angry inch guys...They have a turtle head and wanna advertise it...What the fuck is that? If you have a small dick, you can make up for it with personality and skill, HOWEVER, if you advertise it...No one will give you the chance...
OK...I think I am done with my rant...At least for now...
Discussion brought about by the marajuana topic - - **YAWN**
I'm with Highway on this one...there are plenty of ways to kill oneself.
There are plenty of things the general "law-abiding" public does in their cars and homes that put themselves and others in danger.
Have to wonder which demographic group will be next after having ridded our communities of the dregs of society by outlawing tobacco and alcohol (the insidious pot-heads have already been dealt with after all)?
How about the fat people? They live an unhealthy lifestyle, and certainly provide a burden on society with obesity related issues. Attribute the rise in Type 2 Diabetes, heart disease, increase in cancer (yes cancer...in individuals who have never smoked and have otherwise lived a good "christian" life) to the convenient and unhealthy lifestyles full of decadence and complacency we lead (Hmm...I know there was a reference to the Roman empire somewhere earlier in this thread).
Once the fat peeps are incarcerated...who shall shoulder the burden and blame for many of the ills in our society?
There are always going to be special interest target groups in our society, whether they be pot-heads, crack-heads, fatties, adrenaline junkies, speeders, cell-phoning-while-driving idiots, swingers...well you get the point.
We may forget to look at WHY things are made illegal, maybe that's on purpose...because when you think about it...the reasons for WHY they are do not make sense. It couldn't be merely for personal safety and health reasons...because if that were the case, then certainly excessive food, and cell phones would be made illegal.
I'm with TR on the too much government intrusion scene; We are the so-called "most free" country on the planet...yet we have the most laws and government intrusion and incarcerated percentage of the population.
Is Exhibitionism wrong? - Just after everyones thoughts... - I enjoy BOTH. There's nothing better than watching a sexy couple have sex. I've set up some "accidental viewings" over the last few years. Many couples enjoy showing off in front of a stranger. Some get a real rush from the nautiness of getting caught or watched by someone. I wish there were more couples in Jersey that would take part in this activity.
I've also discovered that I truly enjoy showing off for couples or in groups. After attending two swingers clubs with some couples that I met, I realized it was a BIG turn on to perform in front of people. I think I like performing with or for a couple more. It's a rush to be told by a couple to take out your cock and start jerking off or for a husband to ask you if he can take pictures while his wife sucks your cock. WOW!!!!!!! One of those pictures is in my profile.
How does everyone else feel about exhibitionism or voyeurism?
Just in case it mysteriously disappears - - A cut and paste from another forum
"Posted By: GOODSKICOUPLE Posted on:
Oct 24, 2007 - 5:16 pm
Update for the Swingular Membership: Excuse the long post.
Good Evening Swingers,
NTAKTAGF legal counsel has informed us today that no communication has been heard from Swingular management by 1400 EST, Wednesday, Oct 24, 2007.
Sadly, the speech of a few Swingular members (and some suspected computer shenanigans), as well as the support of that speech by Swingular management has changed Swingular forever. The innocuous place on the internet that Swingular has enjoyed since its inception is now altered. The authorities are being notified.
If the legal action by the State of Florida materializes, it will have to be documented in every annual report that the parent company files. These reports are public documents available to anyone that desires to examine them. This will likely hinder the ability of Swingular to obtain capital, since such jeopardy must be disclosed.
It remains to be seen if the possibility of investigation by the Florida Secretary of State, the Florida U.S. Attorney, or the Internet Task Group will affect the numbers of current members that wish to remain or the inflow of new subscribers.
Today VanCott, Bagley, Cornwall and McCarthy began the process to officially request assistance from the Florida Secretary of State. This will take a little time. The gears of large institutions turn slowly .
To give the members an idea how serious this matter is, VBCM will encourage the Florida General Counsel to pierce the corporate veil. If successful, the executive officers of the company will be held PERSONALY liable for the conduct of the members that decided it would be good business to take the company on its present course. It will be dark times if this occurs.
In a sense, without the knowledge of the membership or maybe even management, the ship has been pointed toward the rocks by a mere handful of people.
If you are curious about these things, VBCM confidently predicted that no communication would be heard from Swingular management. They simply waited, sharpening their tools until they could be used.
While we believe this matter can still be resolved, we are positive that some of it is now irrevocable. How much further it goes, is now up to the general membership and the management. We encourage management to give VBCM a call.
2 hours ago preliminary official correspondence departed Utah via overnight courier to Lynn Hearn, Florida Secretary of State, Chief General Counsel. "
Comedy Hypnosis for Swingers - Comedy Hypnosis Show for Swingers Apri 12, 2014 Salt Lake City, Ut - That does sound really fun. We might go if you can work out the details and venue.
A Single Male's Guide To Successful Swinging - Geared Toward Swinging At A Club - [url=http://docs.google.com/View?id=ddk7w7c2_2dhmjzgpd]Article Here...Clicky Clicky! ;)[/url]
[align=center][b]A Single Male's Guide To Successful Swinging[/b]
[i]Written by an experienced full-swap couple who prefer MFM[/i][/align]
When at the swing club:
[b]1. Don't be a wall-flower[/b]
Guys who sit in the corner, or even in the middle of the action but by themselves, and wait for the conversation to come to them rarely have conversations, let alone sex. It's true, you don't want to be too aggressive or overly-imposing, but total shyness is unattractive to both the female and her husband/partner. The best thing to do is simply join groups or make conversation. So how do you do this without feeling like you're awkwardly waiting to join a conversation? Glad you asked. There are several great places in the swing club that conversation will flow and come naturally and you will not feel like you are imposing on a conversation in progress. Among these are the bar, the swimming pool, the hot tub(s), the smoking room, and the outdoor fire pit, if there happens to be one with a fire going that night. These places are great because conversation is secondary to another activity. You won't feel like you are trying to impose yourself on a conversation with strangers and they won't feel like you are imposing. People go to the bar to drink and engage in conversation. People go to the hot tub to soak and engage in conversation. People go to the pool to swim or play water-volleyball and engage in conversation. People go to the smoking lounge to smoke and engage in conversation. People go to the fire pit to get warm, roast marshmallows and engage in conversation. Are you seeing a pattern here? There is always a primary reason to be at these places where people like light conversation to augment what is going on. If you simply place yourself in these places and say "Hi", a couple, single lady, or group is very likely to strike up conversation with you. Once you take this simple step, you are literally at least 100 times more likely to play than if you keep to yourself or even sit in a high traffic area hoping someone will approach you. There is no fear of rejection because you are not asking for sex, you are engaging in conversation that should come quite naturally. The hot tub and smoking area are particularly great because people are usually facing each other in a smaller area, and no one wants to sit in awkward silence. Even if you don't smoke it may be well worth your while to sit in the smoking room and enjoy a drink or soda. No one will care that you are not smoking and, if someone does point out the fact that you are not smoking or asks you why you are in the smoker's lounge you simply say, "The smoking area is usually where you find the best conversation!" That simple phrase will spark even more great conversation, get a few laughs, prompt others to voice agreement, and makes a great ice breaker.
[b]2. Be yourself and if that doesn't work, be yourself![/b]
You are not going to fuck everyone who strikes up a conversation with you. In fact, you will most likely only play with a very small minority of the women and couples you meet. (Don't be alarmed by this, it's the same for couples and even single ladies.) So if you meet a couple or woman you want to play with and it doesn't go there, don't worry; it's not a failure. Anytime you comfortably engage in conversation it's a success. It's a numbers game: You talk to enough people and eventually you will get laid. (You are in a swingers' club after all!) Some people will not play with you on a first meet, but may play with you at a later date or time. Some couples will want to talk about you together before they invite you into their sex life. Some people will never swing with you. That's okay too. When all else fails, continue to be yourself. The vast majority of genuine swingers are VERY REAL people and they will spot a fake a mile away. And you don't need to worry about impressing the pseudo-swingers because they were never really going to fuck you (or anyone else) anyway. There's one more very important reason to be yourself: The sex will often (almost always) reflect the situation. If you or the couple/single lady are putting on uneasy airs or are feeling awkward or uncomfortable because of a front the sex will often be uneasy, awkward, and uncomfortable. While it may seem to a single guy that any sex is good sex at first, once you become experienced you will see that quality trumps quantity every time. In fact, quality leads to quantity! If the experience is comfortable and good for all involved the couple may ask you back to play again, will definitely talk you up to their friends, and the more good experiences you have the more your confidence will grow! This all all results in more play in the long-term for you!
[b]3. Don't go to the club with the expectation of getting laid[/b]
This may sound contradictory or funny, but it is one of the most important things you can do to guarantee your success and it will ensure your night is not wasted when you don't get laid. For the single male new to the lifestyle this could be the majority of the time at first. If you are trying too hard, or are too tied to the outcome you will put pressure on yourself and you will say and do all the wrong things. This is indeed a LIFESTYLE. For many couples it's not just about fucking. Of course it's definitely about fucking, but not JUST fucking. There is far more going on here than that. This is about freedom, trust, friendship, and there are a myriad of reasons couples are involved in this thing that you can never understand unless you have been a part of a loving swing partnership. While you are ultimately at the club for sex, if you don't enjoy other aspects of "the lifestyle" you are in the wrong place. If you don't enjoy more about this thing than just "getting laid", then you are just not a swinger. Save yourself some money and go to a singles bar. You will pay more for alcohol than you will at the BYOB swing clubs, but you won't be paying 50 to 100 dollars or more for the simple privilege of walking through the door.
[b]4. Don't be "That Guy"[/b]
You know who he is. If you have ever been to a swing club you have probably seen him. Depending on the club you are at you may have seen him hundreds, or even thousands of times. He's the guy who follows or even chases women around the club, makes cheesy come-ons, is way too aggressive, and usually makes a bee-line for a woman the moment her partner goes to the restroom or disappears from sight. In short, don't be an aggressive asshole. At the larger clubs these morons can run in packs of five, ten or more. Most couples are not looking for an asshole, so don't be one. And if you still think you need to be overly-aggressive to score, consider this: If a couple is willing to swing with an aggressive prick they have plenty of men to choose from. You will be one of many aggressive jerks competing for the attention of one or two couples (at best) while the rest of the couples that may be looking for a single guy will be choosing from a few single men who know and practice the secrets you are learning right now. In short: The vast majority of single men never get laid at swing clubs because they are either too shy or too aggressive. If you are going to be the jerk who chases women around the club you are going to end up jerking off with ten other men while you watch some exhibitionist couple have sex. If that's what you are there for great! If not, save yourself some money and rent a porn.
[b]5. Don't make "Jr. High School" sexual jokes or come-ons[/b]
It's just a turn-off. If the couple or single female goes there, and this seems to be what they want, then fine. But if you go there first you will almost guarantee that you won't be playing that night. An example of this is saying something like, "I've got some sausage for you, baby!" when she says she's hungry. Witty and subtle sexual innuendo can be great if it's your real personality and you are getting a sexual vibe from the couple. Picking up on flirtatious cues and reciprocating is awesome. Even steering the conversation toward the sexual at the right time is something that can increase your chances of success. These subtle skills and ability to read people will come naturally, if you are not already adept, as you gain more experience in the lifestyle and your confidence grows. It's like driving a car. You probably do things and react to situations naturally that you had to nervously think about when you first got your learner's permit. If you are not adept at picking up on cues don't worry, that skill will come! It's better not to try to force things and miss a few cues than to kill your chances with a lame joke or cheesy come-on. On several occasions when we have been interested in a single guy who is comfortably engaging in conversation but missing our cues we have simply pulled him aside and asked him if he would like to join us in a threesome. Not every couple will do this but it does happen, and more often than you think! If you are feeling like a newbie but still want to practice the skill of picking up cues and making appropriate jokes so as not to miss opportunities you probably have the following question: How do you tell if you are being witty or making a lame come-on? Fortunately, the answer is simple! If it the conversation feels natural you are probably being witty. If you find yourself looking for an opportunity to say something sexual or are trying to force it you will probably come off poorly. The best rule of thumb is this: If it's something that might come out of a horny eighth-grader's mouth it's probably best not to say it.
[b]6. Don't be "handsy"[/b]
Grabbing her tits, feeling on her leg, or being overtly physical with her is unwelcome, even if she is flirting with you and especially if you haven't been invited to do so by her and checked things with her partner. Flirting is an invitation to flirt back, not to caress her breasts, rub your penis against her, or touch her legs. There are only two universal, stead-fast rules throughout the lifestyle: 1. Ask before you touch. 2. No means NO! (In fact, any response other than yes means NO!) We actually rejected a good-looking, fun-loving single male once because he was too hands-on without permission from either of us. By the time he got around to asking the male half if we were open for play in an appropriate manner, the damage was done. The male half was still willing to consider it in light of the poor guy's corrected demeanor, but the female half, who had actually been flirting with this single male at first, had decided she did not like him. Similar behavior with other females at the club that night resulted in the same fruitless-labor for him. We ended up playing with his better-behaved, more well-mannered friend, while he went home empty-handed. (Well, maybe not empty-handed, but suffice it to say whatever, he had in his hand was attached to his own body!)
[b]7. Don't talk about your penis size unless you are asked. If you are asked, DON'T LIE![/b]
Talking about the size of your "manhood" without being asked may have the same result as making lame sexual come-ons. (If you don't know what lame sexual come-ons are, refer back to #5 on this list.) If a couple cared about the size of your penis they would ask you about it. If you are asked, telling someone your cock is bigger than it is will not get you laid; it will only get you embarrassed when the time comes for play. If it is a big enough issue that the couple feels it is a prerequisite to ask it will be a big enough issue that they will not play with you when the clothes come off. You also need to know that if a couple does ask about your penis size they may not be worried that you are too small; they may be making sure you are not too big. Contrary to locker-room opinion, bigger is not always better for all women. While some women want 8-10 inches or more, for others this will only mean discomfort. Women and couples are all seeking different things. Be honest and the right playmates will find you regardless of how big, small, or average your penis may be. If this sounds contrary to some advice you may have read on a popular swing site, don't worry. The swing club is not a web site and the same rules don't always apply. Couples who are willing to hook up off a personal add directly form a swinger site are usually looking to have a specific fantasy fulfilled, and many times the fantasy is for her to take a "huge penis". Couples who are actually in the swing club usually have a different reason for being there than fulfilling one particular fantasy. In fact, experienced swing couples have probably lived out most, if not all, of their fantasies already. They are usually not looking for a specific penis-size, but quality individuals to spend time with. So, while the swinger sites are right when they state that having a very large penis dramatically improves your chances online, this is not necessarily always the case at a swing club. It may surprise you to learn that most couples on the swing sites have never actually swung! So of course they are looking to fulfill their biggest fantasies first. This is why you see so many profiles looking for the single lady (for him) or the big cock (for her). The simple fact is most real swingers have fulfilled their fantasies and, while they may have their preferences, are not set a particular penis size.
[b]8. Lay off the super-masculinity[/b]
This is a swing club, not a singles bar. The vast majority of people in a swing club are middle-aged, secure, well-adjusted couples looking for a quality encounter to enhance their sex-lives and relationships as a whole. Contrast that to the twenty-something, insecure, shallow, bad-boy seekers at most singles bars and it's easy to see that different techniques are required to be successful in the lifestyle. The single women at a swing club are no exception to this rule. If she was looking for the type of guy you find at a singles bar she would be there. Cocky gets you laid at a singles bar. Genuine confidence is what works at a swing club. Enough said.
[b]9. Don't try to be better than her husband (Unless you are acting out a cuckold fantasy)[/b]
You are not there to be the best lover she has ever had, boost your own ego, or make her tell her friends how much better than her husband you are. You are there to serve the couple. Trying to outperform her husband or be the best she has ever had will only put undue pressure on you and may actually hurt your performance. Further, if this is your motive, you probably don't belong in a lifestyle that is based on freedom, the love between a couple, trust, and friendship. The last thing the lifestyle is about is false-bravado or adolescent, male competition. As mentioned before, some couples have what is called a cuckold fantasy and if you are asked to act that out with them this is a different story; but understand you are still just role playing! The simple fact is you can't be better than her husband no matter how hard you try. You may have a bigger cock, be more physically talented in bed, or even make her come harder than she has ever come before, but you will not be better than her husband no matter how physically good the sex is. How is this possible? It's like we said before: Couples are in this thing for a variety of reasons, but the vast majority of real swingers share a deep emotional commitment and trust most "regular" married couples will never understand. The sex they have with you is only one very small part of the experience. They are going to look back on it, talk about it, re-live it, and it will deepen their bond. There is so much love and emotional growth and trust involved in this that a simple, physical act can never compete with the overall picture or the love she feels for him. He is showing her an extraordinary amount of trust by bringing you in, especially if you have a bigger dick, are more attractive, in better physical shape, or have more stamina. He loves her immensely to be giving her this erotic adventure and to be turned on by it himself to boot! It's really impossible to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it, but suffice it to say that the love and growth that is spawned by a couple sharing their sex lives with another is beyond almost anything you could ever imagine.
[b]10. When engaging a couple be respectful of the male[/b]
Even though the female is usually in charge, he is the gate-keeper. It is common etiquette to clear things with the male if you want to play with his wife. While some couples are "anything goes" and will swing separately all night with implied permission to play with anyone they want, many only swing same room or will want to make sure both parties are comfortable with the choice of partner beforehand. Being respectful of him will go a long way with her and will help convince him that you are a genuine, good person and the best choice to show his wife/partner a good time. Even if she swings solo and there is no interaction with her man on your part, always be respectful of him and remember rule #9.
[b]11. Always be respectful of the female and remember: It's ALWAYS about her pleasure![/b]
Always be respectful of the female should go without saying, but we'll say it here anyway. We really shouldn't need to explain this. In fact, if you feel like it needs explaining run from the lifestyle as fast as you can for the benefit of yourself and everyone in the lifestyle! Once you understand this (and we're assuming you do) the other things you need to remember are what we call the Golden and Platinum Rules of Swinging. The Golden rule is: "It's always about her pleasure." The platinum rule states: "In the event that it's not about her pleasure, refer to the Golden Rule." It's that simple. If you can follow this philosophy, everything else we are talking about here will come naturally. You will have better experiences, gain a great reputation, and be invited back to play over, and over, and over again!
[b]12. Find a club where there is not an over-abundance of single males[/b]
The fewer single males, the better it is for you. How do you find these clubs? Here's the secret:
1. Find a large, metropolitan area with a few big-name swing clubs.
2. DO NOT go to these clubs! The big name clubs in the big city will be full of tourists and hundreds of single men looking to get into the the lifestyle.
3. Find a swing club with a small devoted following in a small town or outlying area 20-60 minutes from the well-known clubs in the big city.
4. Attend a party at the outlying club. What you will find is quality swingers without the mass throngs of single guys just looking to get laid.
5. Use the advice you are reading here.
You may not live in an area where this is possible or that only has one swing club. Don't worry, the advice in this pamphlet will still work even in the big clubs or where there are a lot of single men. It just works faster when there is less competition. If you are genuinely interested in the lifestyle and not just getting laid, it may be well worth planning a vacation around this strategy and going somewhere with a lot of swing clubs large and small. Again, find the small clubs with devoted followings! Single guys usually go to the biggest clubs and the clubs in-town. 20-60 minutes of travel will eliminate 99% of the competition! We usually go to a small club (JJ Western Swing) in Pahrump, Nevada (which is near Las Vegas). Vegas is a swinger mecca with several big name clubs that draw national attention. The club we frequent is in the next county over and is about a 40 minute drive. There are very few single males there and the couples always outnumber them! This is never the case at a big name club that draws tourists. One night we attended a party at JJ's that had an abundance of couples, three single females, and not one single male. This is indeed rare and may never happen again but it did that night at a small club, near a swinger mecca, with a devoted following. One thing to be wary of when seeking these clubs: If a club guarantees you will get laid or that there will be more single ladies than single men you are not going to a swing club, you are going to a brothel. If you are just looking to get laid this may be the best option for you, but if you are genuinely interested in the lifestyle, you will not find it at the so-called "swing clubs" that make guarantees.
[b]Extra Credit: Expect rejection[/b]
No, you're not going to be brutally rejected like some awkward, high school dweeb asking the snobby-prom queen for date in front her friends. But you should expect some rejection. Why? Everyone gets rejected. Expect it and don't take it personal. Most people who are not looking to play with you will be very nice in turning you down. Single males will be turned down very often for a variety of reasons. Many couples are just not looking for a single male. The simple truth is, if you practice the previous 12 principles, you won't find yourself asking all that much anyway. Things will naturally progress and you will find yourself playing as the result of this natural progression. But if and when you do proposition a single lady or a couple, simply be prepared to hear the word, "No". We're not suggesting that you set yourself up for failure by any means. Just know that you will be turned down at times, and sometimes it will happen often. By expecting some rejection, knowing that it's a part of the lifestyle and that we ALL get rejected on occasion, you won't take it personal or let it interfere with your confidence; and confidence (not cockiness) is the key here. Rejection is not the end of the world. In fact it can be a good thing. When a couple lets you know they are not interested in playing with you, you can move on and not waste anyone's time or continue to enjoy some good conversation without the added expectation. No, rejection is not the end, it is simply a fresh start and a new beginning!
Welcome to the lifestyle and may your experiences be as fulfilling as our have been!
Free Poker in Tampa Bay! - - For any that are interested, we are members in a free Texas Holdem poker league in the Tampa Bay area. If interested, please check out www.treasurechestpoker.com.
We go at least three times a week, and would love to meet some of our fellow swingers there!
Ron & Chrissy
swinger club in Clarksville TN. - - There is a guy who is in the process of building a swingers club in CLarksville TN. we would like to know who in our town would join this club and if they think it's a good idea?
Any economists out there? - serious question about our economy - Hmm... politics, economy and money, hot topic or what? I am definately not an "economist" nor do I play one on tv. LOL - What I do believe in is my own power to control my "wealth or lack thereof." I will not rely on someone else, especially the government to take care of me, in my old age, and I believe I am only "entitled" to what I can make/create/contribute in this capitalistic AND free society. History has proven there is always going to be corruption, dishonesty and greed - just like the stock market, and economy has/will continue to fluctuate. We are not victims here, and there are good people in government who really do what they can (yes, I actually take the time to talk to my legislators on issues that are important to me) - my opinion is that the ones who actually do the work, do not reside in the white house. Ok, it's late and I will thicken my skin for making this remark but, if I were ever running for office my slogan would say "I will work my ass off like a greedy, money-grubbing Republican to actually help my fellow man, like a Tree-hugging, money-spending Democrat!":) Good night you sexy swingers!
WHY????? - - J. Nothing negative about it, I actually read the whole post before bed. I hope some will actually read it and think before they attack, but I have a feeling that is too much to wish for... Good night swingers. *G*