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Discretion, the better part of valor - I love that saying - It's a tough one. Women will ALWAYS get more action here than men. Sex is theirs when it comes to power and control. The "you can only get as much as I can get" has never worked for us. But our situation is a little different in that I travel a ton for work so when I'm home I can't see spending what little time I have with someone else. And being on the road, I don't have time to get any action. So the equality in playing separate isn't there. As a result, Mrs. Sexperimentor doesn't play without me unless it's another woman. That's her choice and a bone thrown to equality, which I appreciate.
As for the issue of not playing because you're afraid you'll run into a playmate in your vanilla life... To me that's horse pucky. The person you run into will be at just as much risk as you of being "outed". You'll have a lot more in common than a whole lot of other people you meet. And if you have a little discretion about who you play with, you'll have similar attitudes on how to conduct yourselves in a vanilla situation. Actually, I don't think we have EVER, in all the years we've been doing this, just run into anyone we've played with. There are people we've known to be swingers but haven't played with that we've run into, one lady I run into frequently, but life in the lifestyle has never even been discussed in vanilla settings.
I hope this isn't your situation, but the last couple I knew that would play separately but not together, with a story told essentially the same way you told yours, didn't end well. She was more interested in having other romantic relationships than she was in maintaining her marriage. Frankly, while playing without my wife is fun, and we share the tales and details afterward, I'd really rather play as a couple. Our playing together has enhanced our relationship and that's what I'd encourage you to do.
KSL swing story - - For those of you guys out of town. This is the transcript from the KSL website.
"Everyone has shared their partners with everyone else in the room."
"You're in happy valley and you think nothing like that could happen."
An Eyewitness News Investigation takes us inside a delicate subject few people like to talk about -- infidelity, couples cheating, in secret, in the open, and joining a movement that appears to be gaining momentum.
We heard persistent rumors that spouse-swapping and adultery is commonplace in certain suburban neighborhoods. We discovered those rumors were based on at least some truth. People told us they were being recruited -- marriage counselors say they are seeing more if it.
There aren't statistics or easy answers, but it's clear the effects can be devastating.
Love, commitment, holy matrimony. In Utah, where marriage vows and family values run deep.
Woman: "They said it was more exciting when their spouse was involved."
This story will open eyes to something many would like to keep secret.
"It was taboo within their religious background."
"I thought, this can't be happening here. This is Utah."
Sometimes it's kept very quiet, among neighbors and friends. Other times, it's out in the open. Studies show infidelity is to blame for more than half of divorces in Utah. What we found surprised even experts.
We knocked on doors, attended a party. We heard stories by phone, by email, but nothing could match what we heard in a pocket of Draper.
"Something was wrong with every other neighbor in that neighborhood."
Her husband's indiscretions shattered their marriage.
"Intensely, intensely painful. It's the hardest thing I've ever been through in my life."
The divorce final, he remarried one of their neighbors within a week. It seems adultery ran rampant. Up the block it was consensual with other married neighbors cheating together.
People told us they moved to get away from it and stayed inside to avoid it. Across town one woman told us she just wanted to run from it:
"Everyone in the room had shared their partners with everyone else in the room. These people had been married five, 10, 20 years."
She and her husband were invited to a barbeque with couples from Draper, Provo, Sandy and Salt Lake. A doctor made a move.
"He's hitting on me, like he's single, and his wife's sitting right there. I think, there's another motive to this party and it's not just to hang out and meet new people."
They got out of there.
While there's no data, experts say it's proof of a trend.
Vicky Burgess/Ph.D. Clinical Psychologist: "I think, because sexual relations and sex itself is more open, I think we're seeing more of it."
We found there are several parties where couples can meet.
Randy Chatelain, Ph.D./ Marriage and Family Therapist: "I believe this kind of behavior is going to catch up with a couple, because where does it stop? What more do you have to involve to create the high?"
Hundreds of couples pack a popular Sandy nightclub.
"A lot of people nowadays have fantasies and they want to fulfill them with their significant other. This is the best way to do that."
This man, who asked not to be identified, built a business, helping couples meet at parties. His website suggests spouses can be in love and still enjoy sex with others.
"They figure, 'I would much rather do it with the person I love than have them do it behind my back.'"
From the looks of it, he's pretty successful. He has 4,000 members living in Utah. How fast is it growing? Four years ago there were 150 members.
How common is it? Posing as a married woman, we signed up on a website aimed at so-called "swingers." In six days, 70 married men, most from Utah, ask to start a fling.
Curious about no pubic photos? - - Actually, the act of removing a females pubic hair dates well into the 3-4th century bc in certain cultures and is looked on as another facet of hygiene in others. In art, it is difficult to find male subjects with pubic hair, and female subjects with pubic hair are mainly seen within the last 3-400 years. There is no reason to or not to remove pubic hair, tho some will claim it's protective against irritation or bacteria, others admit to having the same view as you; lack of pubic hair indicates lack of maturity. However, these are merely preferences, theories and social norms. There is no evidence to support the theory that preferring a bald crotch is in any way some sort of indicator of sexual deviancy. And let's be honest, simply the fact that were swingers could be and often is seen as such.
Personally, I never thought much about removing my pubic hair until I had sex without pubic hair. I was hooked. I opted for laser hair removal, since stubble was an annoyance. Hubby trims, as I find some body/pubic hair attractive on a man. I do not feel that pubic hair is very attractive on a vagina, but again--that is my sexual preference and my husbands.
Swinging Events....what do you think? - - To Fellow Swingers & Friends
We are planning on throwing a swingers party in Los Angeles within the next few months and we are looking for positive and negative feedback with regards to your past party experiences. Please take the time to respond to this email so we can better provide an overall and fun experience for the LA party. Please consider what made the party successful and what would you like to see different? Who knows...maybe we will have one here in SLC soon.
Looking forward to receiving your feedback,
Adam & Leigh
Looking for fun in Plano, Texas 3-27 to 4-11! - - From Plano, you should check out the Iniquity swingers club, you'l like the view from the San Souci swingers club, and if you want a good place to eat exotic food, try campo verde in Arlington, they offer buffalo, rattle snake, just for starters.
There are many places to see, and lots to do in your spare time.
I spent 8 yrs in the DFW area, but I'm in Arkansas with my mother right now, I just spent the last 7 months of dads life living with them, his alzheimers had gotten bad enough mom needed my help. We lost him Feb 2 08 during surgery to repair a large aneyurism.
Have fun in Plano! If you ride, maybe we can do that sometime.
Certified Single Male Program - What do you think? - [quote=SEAKINGHER]That is why I think single males need to be broken down into two groups. Those that are polite swingers and those that are just fuckers.[/quote]
Not just single males....people in general.
Swingers cruise - - The next two big ones (full ship takeovers) are November 2015 (http://www.blisscruise.com/) and April 2016 (http://couplescruise.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=233&Itemid=516 )
After having done the one last November, we will be on one or both.
These are WAY better than the resorts..
secret in family - any couples where family members know about your lifestyle ( I grew up in a swinger family) is that to bad? - I knew when I was younger that my father and stepmother were swingers, have actually talked with my father about it in the last few years, don\'t see anything odd about it really. Obviously I would not want to go to any clubs he was to be at, but being that we are half a country apart (and he doesn\'t swing anymore), that\'s not a concern!
I also have a former roommate who\'s mother swings, she has had to work with it a bit to make sure they don\'t end up at any clubs at the same time, but it really hasn\'t been a problem, and though still a little awkward, has allowed her to talk with her mother about some issues/problems she has had and been able to be honest about the situations, rather than trying to be vague to avoid revealing what was really going on.
Nasty In The Nati Party 9/25/10 - - On September 25th Nasty In The 'Nati Interracial Parties is hosting G's Birthday Bash/Leather & Lace Party at a hotel in the Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky area. If you are interested in attending you can send us a message and we will send you an invite ASAP. You can see some of the event details below. Thanks - C & G
G's Birthday Bash/Leather & Lace
Come join Nasty In The 'Nati Interracial Parties AT OUR NEW & IMPROVED LOCATION & see why our parties have become one of the best interracial swingers parties around, with guests from all over the country.
This is a one day event, with afternoon events starting at 2:00PM on Saturday & the Saturday night party starting at 7:00PM.
The party room Saturday all afternoon for people to meet & greet in & we will have a cornhole tournament for the ladies, play poker, dominoes, etc....
The party Saturday night will take place in the hotel ball room starting at 7:00PM, WE HAVE A NEW DJ!!! DJ Adam is awesome, he will be playing up to date music and taking your song requests, so get ready to dance!! There will also be connecting group hospitality rooms open both nights for party guests.
Light snacks, pop, & water will be provided & Gary, The Nasty In The 'Nati Chef, will be serving food starting around 8:00.
When checking in you must give your screen name and you will be given an armband that YOU MUST HAVE ON AT ALL TIMES in the main party room & the hospitality rooms. If you see anyone without an armband please let our event security or someone working the check in table know so they can be asked to leave.
If you have any questions or need more information feel free to send us a message or give us a call at 513-442-9761 or 513-442-9201.
Thanks C & G
So... Where's Everyone Skiing This Season? - - [quote=TWONAUGHTYONES]For swingers what could be better than Beaver, or as the locals call it, the Beav! Beaver Mt, up Logan Canyon ;)[/quote]
Be sure to ski Nasty (a run at The Beav, right by Ego Trip)...if you think you can handle it. [em]Emo_28[/em]