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Swingers dying out? - Is the utah swinger community dying or becoming to needy? - We just really do couple to couple time according to schedules, Tiffs parties when we can ;) there's plenty of people to meet, and haven't planned our full moon summer party yet..lol
Polyamory, Swinging, and the Single Man - - We know a few people that associate with the poly community, as in consider themselves poly and we have been to a few poly pot lucks ourselves. The poly people we know are all very nice people. None of the people we actually know that that consider themselves poly have ever actually been in a long term full on poly relationship as in everyone involved ending up equally as committed to each other and the relationship. We have known people where a married couple, with a bisexual wife had a live in relationship with a bisexual woman but in the end it did not last very long and the couple and the woman went their separate ways and we have know a few couples that have been in exclusive relationships with another couple where part of the equation wanted to basically make it as permanent as their primary relationship and part of the equation did not. Relationships with commitments, especially those that are the most rewarding are life altering and if you are not really, all in, heart and soul the advanced level of commitment and the corresponding obligations will eventually become a burden you may be unwilling to bear. If what is looking for as an individual is deep passionate friendships without expectations and obligations, that you feel reduce your freedom, then a poly relationship and marriage may not be in their best interest. There is nothing wrong with that. If a deeply pair bonded couple wants the freedom to enjoy deep and passionate friendships with others, including sex, without the same level of obligation and expectation they offer one to another then are they poly or are they swingers? Probably more swingers than truly poly-amorous or maybe they are poly light or swinger intense.
The secret may be to figure out who you are and then be true to yourself. A lack of understanding of self can lead to disappointments in relationships. Intentionally misrepresenting or misleading someone for sex rarely and probably never ends up all good. We all on occasion may unintentionally end up misleading someone when we try and be what we think others wants us to be and in the end we just do not have it in us.
We can say for a certainty that we are not poly in the truest sense of the word or really even poly light. Our relationship as a couple is paramount and we willfully and joyfully commit to all the obligations and commitments and even the disagreements that accompany living our lives together and with our progeny. We both inherited genes that seem to have targeted both of us to seek out a life long partner, have and raise a family and to express ourselves sexually mostly together as a couple. We have been in a couple of longer than usual not really exclusive relationships where we were seeing the same people pretty much weekly. We discovered that we are okay with having good friends with sexual benefits but the ability or the desire to be in a poly relationship is just not within either one of us. Self discovery and relationships often requires a bit of experimentation and a lot of self examination. Affiliating and seeking to self identify with a group to achieve acceptance friendship and sex is pretty common and pretty normal. Many of the people we know that self identify as poly are not unwilling to enjoy a little sex for sex sake between friends so long as they understand that is all that is happening.
Good luck and have fun!
Lifestyles and Life I wrote this yrs ago - - There's 2 kinds of swingers. those that are, And those that want to be.
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Handling aging and lifestyles - How do you handle getting older? - [quote=HYM4CYN]Something none of us can control at present is growing older. For most of us, getting older means physical and some mental changes. These changes have a tendency to make us less desirable especially to the younger crowds, yet the minds of the maturing swingers still feel the need for participation along with the attraction for others. So, the questions are: How do you handle getting older and finding yourself less attractive to others and less involved. And, what are your age boundaries, if any. The youngest you will participate with and the oldest you will friend and why. We have our own opinions, we will express later, but we would like to see what others think.[/quote]
We have no age boundaries, when we were in our 20's we would play with people up to their 60's. Now that we are in our 40's, we play with couples in their 20's occasionally. We had played with couples younger than our youngest kid lol. Our secret? If a couple does not like us there may be a million reasons for us to worry about it. We had been turned down by older and way less attractive couples than us. We just move on to the next one, stay positive and don't overthink shit.
RV Swingers? - - If our new business venture doesn't work out we may be living in a van, down by the river.. Does that count?
Bob
Anyone going to Habits tonight - First time for us... Habits in SLC, it sounds fun.. is anyone going - Habits has been great for couples and other swingers.
They have put a lot of effort and money into their club and they deserve our support and patronage.
Looking to establish a group of safe swingers - - Wow, what great feedback and interest! We posted this to see what kind of interest and we have a ton! Thank you. We need to get through all of the messages and invites so give us a day or so. We work all week so we’re just now checking back. We’ll be in touch. Thank you so much for the fantastic response!!
K&A
ISO: sexy married couple - exclusive FWB - Let's have some fun... - Not really talking about lowering the bar necessarily...more just not getting in your own way by setting impossible standards that few, if any, couples might likely ever meet. And like I said, Ms. Evil and I are absolutely as guilty of this as the next guy.
My only point was that in almost THIRTY years of swinging we have, on more than one occasion, been surprised by our eventual connection with couples that we didn't really even give a second glance the first time we met them. Sometimes quality is a very fluid concept that, as humans, we aren't always great at judging.
And we agree 100% about quality over quantity. In fact, if you consider the actual number of couples that we've played with in almost three decades in the lifestyle you'd likely surmise that we were either extremely picky or just really lame swingers (Actually, that last one might be true. lol).
Bottom line, you absolutely should ONLY fuck people you want to fuck but maybe, just maybe, give a little thought to your criteria for choosing couples and think about which things on your checklist might actually end up not being all that important and prevent you from finding some really great people that might not check off every single box. And speaking of boxes, I'll get off MY soapbox now. [em]Emo_12[/em]
Black Ring, Right Hand - How to tell if someone's a swinger - So this has been discussed a few times, but I'm surprised how few people here have heard of it..
The [b]black-ring on the right-hand[/b] has quickly become the new "standard" on how to tell if someone's a swinger in public. (No, it's not a sure-indicator, but it's gaining traction FAST in the swinger community).
- It started off as a discussion on Kasidie a few years ago.
- Several swingers bloggers and podcasters picked it up and endorsed it.
- Almost all of the larger online swinger communities are now endorsing it.
- It's even been mentioned a few times on PBTV's show "Swing".
- We recently went on a swingers cruise and saw LOTS of couples wearing them.
It's actually got some real traction..... The great thing is that it's small. It's cheap. It's not obvious to anyone else. It's easy to 'deny' if you ever ARE caught ("Oh.. I just liked the ring..")..
My wife and I both wear them now... But we've never seen them "in the wild" in Utah... We found that they made a great conversation starter.
More Info here:
- http://www.okswing.com/index.php/en/easyblog/entry/black-ring-right-hand-how-to-find-swingers-in-public
- http://www.lifestylerings.com/faqs.html
- http://swapfu.blogspot.com/p/black-ring-right-hand.html
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