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Rules - - This is not merely an issue on Swingular, but is a mind-set that we have encountered on every site we have belonged to, in every geographical area, and at many parties.
Seemingly the single ladies get the accolades, while their counterparts, the dreaded single males, get the proverbial foot in the ass.
Is it fair? We don't think so.
However, it is what it is, and not likely to change soon.
I'm sure that everyone has an opinion as to why this occurs (opinion/assholes being synonymous; everyone has one). Here are a few of our thoughts....
Perhaps one could say that this disparity is due to the fact that most couples are searching for females...either single or part of a couple?
This is only PARTIALLY true as there are many swingers that are not looking for singles of either gender. Many couples are, in fact, only looking only for other couples to share friendship and intimacy.
Perhaps the old adage "Men are a dime a dozen", comes into play?
Well...one has to admit that yes...us guys really are rather numerous. Regardless of being within the Lifestyle or out....you can always find a guy, willing to hump your wife. Go to any vanilla event to find that out.
Many might say that all single guys are pushy ass-wads, that lack the intelligence, class, or sophistication to show respect and patience towards a couple that's willing to share intimacy with them.
Again, not totally true. We have met many polite, kind and respectful single men. We have also had numerous run-ins with females...both single and married, that have been just as crass, obnoxious and presumptuous as the most obnoxious single guy anyone could imagine. We like to call them the Bi-Nazi's: you know...the "it's-all-about-the-women" types.
This brings me to yet another mentionable. There is also an unspoken "assumption", that just because any individual of the female persuasion is involved in swinging...she's automatically "bi-curious", "bi-sexual", or "just doesn't know that she wants to be yet".
The obvious outcome of this mind-set is that unwanted advances, groping and attention comes towards the females/couples that are not looking for this type of interaction. Ironically, the same advances made by a male, married or single...would be dealt with severely in most cases. However...with the ladies...many consider it "appropriate", if not expected.
Do you see the double-standard? Somewhat hypocritical I would say.
Many get so caught up in stereotyping, and outcomes having to look a certain way, they are quick to assign social roles to various members of our Lifestyle. In the process, they forget objectiveness, compassion, and open-mindedness. Isn't that what we, as swingers pride ourselves on, "open-mindedness", and being "out of the box"?
Ok..since sweeping swinger social changes (wow, say that fast three times...haha), are not likely to happen...Siren and I elect to manage what we know we can, and that's ourselves.
We never expect anyone or anything to be anything but themselves, and let their actions and behaviors be the ultimate factor as to how we interact with them, regardless of marital status, gender, or seeking preferences.
My first time... - - Tell us about your first time. Was it absolutely spectacular? Was it, "Meh". Was it horrible? A comedy of errors? Was it on your wedding night? In the back seat of a tiny compact car? Was it with your spouse? With "the one who got away"? Was it in college or high school? Junior High? GRADE SCHOOL?!!? Did you cum? Did you THINK maybe you came...sorta? Did it turn you into a sex fiend? Did it kind of turn you off from sex? Did you wonder what all the fuss was about? Was it with your fiance? Your boy/girlfriend? Your cousin?!!? Did you get caught? Did you use birth control? Did you try oral sex for the first time as well? Did you get completely naked? Just naked enough to expose the important parts? Would you want to go back and relive or redo it?
Just thought it would be fun to hear about and reminisce about our first times and see if we could find any commonalities that turned us all into perverted swingers.[em]Emo_49[/em]
Happy 6/9 - Best day of the year - Happy 6/9!
Congress is voting on making June 9 National Swingers Day. Post your favorite 6/9 photos!
letting the cat out of the bad=g - have either of you ever accidentally let something about the lifestyle slip in front of family ect? - we have had a couple of "oopsies" in the time we have been swingers, such as the wife hooking up with the nephew of our churches pastor, and we were wondering if anyone else had some amusing stories about letting something slip
Fun places you have had sex.. in public. - - my own bed because this damn swingers are always using our house as a damn frat house on most weekends
Coming to slc area this weekend - - We agree with SLCCOUPLE. The GSL has it all. Sun, fun, the BEACH. And it's true...you CAN just like float around in it. We used to think it was because it's so salty and shit but it's actually the brine shrimp lifting you up and trying to push you out of the water. They have to live there and don't want no stanky, skanky swingers floatin' around in their living rooms. And if you get one of those cool floating grills from Sky Mall you can just fry up some 'o them shrimp on the barbie while you're floating around, mate. Watch out for brine flies though. They're like the annoying pushy swingers who have too much to drink at a party and just get right up in your face. If you need directions to the nude beach just PM us. It's DEE-luxe!
Phone Call Gone Bad - Real Bad! - I'm feeling pretty bad for the brother, he's going to get an ass kicking from his own brother and then the brother's wife is going to move in with him? :S
Proof positive swingers have a lot less drama in our lives. (sun)
Hollywood Swingers? - - Prior to divorce my wife and I saw John Stamos and Rebeca Romain at Trapeeze Swingers club in Ft. Lauderdale, FL. I think that is about as ADMITED as possible. LOL
What is up with Swingular and Drama? - - Drama is on every swinger forum because, just like every other social group out there, some swingers never really graduated from junior high.
There will always be the people that thrive on drama or have to build themselves up by causing others grief. Also : Anonymity on the internet empowers douche bags. These two factors combined explain away a lot.
Facebook and the lifestyle - Can Facebook be TMI with the lifestyle? - Ms. Evil and I were talking this morning about the the lifestyle in the age of Facebook. She mentioned that she kind of feels like there is the possibility of learning TOO much about your lifestyle friends when you're also on their Facebook feed. Especially in the hyperpolarized world we live in right now she thinks that maybe knowing too much about other swingers can make it harder to connect sexually with them. In fact, more than once, I've walked into the bedroom to find her on her laptop reading something a swinger friend has posted on Facebook with steam coming out of her ears (yeah we made an appt. with an ENT to get that checked out). I think it's gotten so bad at times that she's totally lost her 'lady wood' for a few of our lifestyle friends. I'm not really on Facebook so it hasn't affected me (other than her maybe not being as excited about possibly hooking up with some couples because they are so adamant in their views and express them so vigorously on Facebook). Just wondering what everyone thinks. Does Facebook (and learning all the dirty details about other couples) affect how you start to think about them? Ever not wanted to hook up with someone once you realized how different your viewpoints were or when they maybe posted some things on social media that you found offensive?