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St. Louis - - Welcome to St. Louis!!! Its always great to have more hot swingers around. You will find your way around soon :) .
Question for those in the lifestyle - What is the answer! - Why would you envolve me in your problem. I am not a part of it. But, if I have sex with you and you get caught, I am part of a bigger problem that has just been created. NO THANK YOU! You don"t belong in the lifestyle under these circumstances. (By the way this is the M half, but we both feel the same about this)
My wife and I were Soft Swingers for about 8yrs before she decided to go the full swap route. She is happy with her decision to do so, and enjoys the fun WE are having now. I would have liked to have got to this point a lot sooner and had often encouraged her to go for it. She told me several times, it would be alright for me to have sex with someone else if I really wanted too. There was no way I would take that chance of messing up the good thing we had. Neither of us had ever cheated on each other. This doesn't make us goody-two-shoes. It did build a trust which makes it posible for us to share the benefits of this lifestyle with confidense in each other, now.
We feel Trust and Honesty are two things that have to exist if you are going to enjoy the swinging as a couple. Sorry to hear about your situation, but we could not solve your problem if we were to play with you, only possibly make it worse. Thats just the way it is for us.
I feel some of the suggestions offered in the previous post may be your best route to go.
Friends? - Friends in and out of the bedroom? - It seems like there are two general classes of swingers. The 'one and done, "we already have all the friends we need just bend over and take it"' crowd and 'the more friends the merrier, in fact "we prolly won't fuck you until we know you a little better"' group. We fall into the latter group. In fact we're pretty much here solely for the friendships. I mean, if sex happens that's awesome. But it's not our raison d'etre cuz we can always go home and enjoy the hell out of banging each other. YMMV
Too Young to be Taken Seriously? - - My husband and I are interesting in joining the lifestyle, starting slow. However I've noticed the majority of people here are older. We both are twenty, is this too young to be taken seriously in the lifestyle? Should we keep at it, or come back in 10-20 years. I do understand if people want their partners to be old enough to have an adult beverage with them. But perhaps it is the maturity level? Maturity level is different for everyone. There are twenty year olds who act years older than they are, and sixty year olds who act younger than we are. To each their own I guess. I'm not asking to have everyone be my friend right now. I'm just curious as to what people think about younger swingers. What is your opinion about say twenty-five or younger couples?
Bi-Sexuality - A question for the girls of swingular - So it's a BENCH of single males and what, a swarm of swingers? "Mayhem" sounds WAY more descriptive, by the way, from everything you've told me. [em]Emo_49[/em]
To message first or not - Do you reach out first? - We respond to inquiries far more often then we make the first contact. When we were younger we got a lot more inquiries and we also made more first contacts . We used to play almost weekly, and sometimes two or three times a week. We attended more meet and greets too.
As we have aged we get fewer inquiries. We are probably not within the age parameters, that most swingers are looking for. We also have very little free time. So really it kind of works out. We have discovered that now that are kids are all grown and married etc., that almost all of our social time is family related. Its a good thing! What it has done is eliminate us from the hit most of the events crowd or the hang out twice every weekend crowd. We just can't live up to that. It's not out of obligation it's a choice. We spent far more energy and emotion as parents than we have in the swing scene. So for us spontaneity and flexibility are really key elements. We can't spend much time swinging, but we will make worth someone's time when we do hook up.
For us primetime swing time was at the point in life when the kids were old enough to not need a babysitter, they needed a lot of time to hang out with friends and needed a bit of autonomy too. We could go out, while they were out playing with their friends, and play with our friends. Now that they are all real adults, happy and successful, they want to hang out. We enjoy each others company, and for us family really is paramount.
We were not swingers when they were young. We really didn't have time for it. Now that our kids are adults, and are doing what we did with family, and we are involved and enjoying it, what and who fits in the lifestyle has changed up a bit. The search engine parameters, and most profiles don't address most of the deeper layers of compatibility. In the end, if you remain true to yourselves, and each other, you'll run into the right people, at the right times in your life.
Do you have be like Barbie to be wanted? - - what i will tell you is that on these sights lots of folks look at the pics and judge the book by the cover. I know for fact that alot of folks don't even bother reading the profiles some may read part. We have had more fun in local clubs ( swingers type clubs ) where you get a mix. Confidence is a big thing and it doesn't take much to shake it. Just remember this is a place to attempt to meet folks , try to find some local groups or clubs that get together and see if that works for you. If you do go to a club do not be a wall flower again nothing happens if you sit on the sidelines... I will agree with everyone else tho, most of us got into swinging as a couple and 99 % of the guys are gonna want to participate not just sit on the sidelines.
wanting to play - 3 some or more? - It's your zip code. Everyone knows there are no swingers in Rigby. The hotbed of swinging in Southeast Idaho is Rexburg and St. Anthony...and possibly the greater Malad/Preston metro area. If it were me I'd put a personals ad in the BYU-Idaho student paper or the jobs board in the student resources center. Something along the lines of "Hot sexy couple seeks young nasty co-ed as live in love slave and sex toy. References required. Please sext a naked pic and a list of your fav postions and kinks to TATTOOCOUPLE11."
Gun haters...gun lovers....How do you interpret......? - - First off I DONOT see the word sanctity in the amendment. You can't just add words to try and justify your side. Secondly our cicil rights are spell out in the amendments hence being call bill of rights. So I ask again which amendment gives people the right to wed.
As an aside though Don let's look at gay marriage another way. Let's say that by chance you decide to join a swingers website and state you do not want single men writing you. Now let's say that the two gay guys that got married are really only bi and they are on the same site.
Is it ok for them to contact you? You don't need to answer as it is just a rhetorical question.
That Moment - - We have done that many times. We will sit at the Mall and watch people and ask each other are they swingers or not lol.
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