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what if I want to but he doesn't - - [quote=NU2THEGAME]the worst part is that I consider myself intelligent with good common sense, so why can't i repress this- why is this so important to me right now? my hormones are taking over my common sense!! don't want to ruin a marriage for a cheap thrill- but also know that sex is a very important part of a marriage... part of it i'm sure is that I've been with him since i was 14..... i know this.[/quote]
There are many little things that we all do without that do not really affect our lives to any degree. But sometimes the little things turn out to be really big things. I would say that you have found one of yours.
I sounds like you are telling us that you everything your husband wants sexually. But there is something you need that you are not getting sexually. We could guess as to what that is but it would not help to guess. You need to examine and define what it is that you are lacking. Otherwise all we can do is talk in generalities. Some people only feel safe when things are neatly defined and unchanging.
I think that most swingers will tell you that sexually we get into a rut or pattern with any lover and that for many of us that is like the end of life. Most will also tell you that this lifestyle helps to keep you feeling alive and part of the world. You learn knew things from different people and your world opens wider.
Marriage changes how many think or act. Why that is would take many pages off topic. A marriage like good government should be one of give and take and compromise. Once one side had decided not to compromise or find a solution that makes their partner happy, then they have decided that the marriage is no linger important.
As an example: A woman once told me that after marriage her husband only touched her once a year on a specific day. The rest of the time he was a cold fish. That is all he wanted and what she wanted did not matter. In a way that was sexual abuse of the worst magnitude. To choose a celibate life for one
Another Swingers Show on TV - - Hey RICKNWIFE it repeats tonight at 8:00 PM!
Soft-core roll call - A call out to those interested in the softer side. - [quote=PARTYINLV]Canvas,
It sounds like you and your wife are not quite on the same page yet, which is quite normal at the beginning of exploring the Lifestyle. You are looking for friendships with those who are in a similar situation. That's a good idea, but be prepared that even those friendships may be fleeting as the chemistry or level of comfort may still be different.
At the beginning of our lifestyle journey, my wife and I were just as you are today, (I was also at a different level as my wife too). TheFunCouple offers excellent advice on going to meet & greets. I also add that you might want to check out a place like Sea Mountain Inn in Palm Springs. There you can see how comfortable it is to be nude in front of others and witness all the different levels of the lifestyle. You will have opportunities to talk to others and learn more. There is no pressure to play. Plus, you will be out of Utah and away from people who might recognize you.
If you are adventurous enough, maybe plan a vacation to Temptations Resort in Mexico. This resort is not truly a lifestyle resort but is a lifestyle friendly resort since so many non swingers go there. It still is a sexually charged resort. You will meet a lot of people who are similar to you there and you have a whole week to be relaxed, get into vacation mode, and explore your steps into the lifestyle together without judgement or pressure.[/quote]
Thanks. I'm totally fine with my wife not wanting to be with another man. And she's ok with me being comfortable with another woman. So, not being on the same page doesn't cause issues as much as it adds to the challenges.
Any way, I completely agree with you and TheFunCouple about meeting people in person, going to meet-and-greets, etc. That would be the best way to meet and get a feel for people. Two problems with that for us though: 1) We live in Podunk i.e., a long ways from Lifestyle events and 2) neither of us likes parties or any sort of large social gatherings. We're not hermits or socially awkward. It's just not our thing.
I appreciate your post as well as the others.👍
Pink flamingo - How many swingers have a pink flamingo in their front yard? - We have pineapples on the trailer and black rings lol
Any Swingers out there? Golf swingers that is... - - [quote=SMILEYMAN4U]FORE ! ~ ! ~ ! How are we suppose to golf in this shitty weather ? Grrrrrr. . . go away rain/snow and cloudly skies with Temp's in the 50's !~!~! Please bring on the SUNNY WARM WEATHER SOONER then Later, thank you ;)
It IS frustrating! I hear ya! thats why they make little propane heaters and golf cart covers! Damn the torpedos! Im going for the green in One! .... BOOM! (whooshing sound) perfectly exicuted fade, launch left, drift right, dead stop on the green inches from the cup...
Another way to identify swingers - Totally hot T-Shirts - Salesman make a commission. I just thought they were cute. Sorry if I offended anyone else.
LS vacation - looking for suggestions - We posted this the other day in another forum but thought it might help you out...
If you ever get a chance to do the Young Swingers Week at Hedo (especially in March) do it! In March they take over the entire resort and limit the guests in age and only couples...no single dudes. One member of the couple has to be 45 or under. The people that go are amazing! We made friends all over the US and Canada and have places to stay if we are travelling. Just spent Halloween in Denver with a couple we met at YSW at Hedo. They have theme nights every night, play rooms, top shelf alcohol, good (not great) food, day time activities (including free daily scuba trips if you are certified), four or five on resort restaurants (as well as the buffet), no tipping allowed and a lot more. We like spending our days layng on the beach or partying in the nude pool where you have hundreds of fully naked people around you all the time. The resort has a mandatory nude side and a clothing optional side. The resort is designed for swingers instead of just being lifestyle friendly especially when YSW takes over. It is truly an amazing experience that we highly recommend trying at least once...and once you have been, you will go back. We can not recommend it outside of YSW weeks because we have heard there can be lurking single men.
Creating an Amazing Swingers Profile - How to market yourself better - Nicely done! We agree with all your comments. However, this means we need to go update our profile. Way to create more work for us, thanks a bunch! AND we need to get a couple who has met us to verify us. So much to do, so little time.
Poly ideas - Ethical non-monogamy...I like that label. - [quote=ERASEDPANTS]A few other "Poly Ideas" we have had...a beach resort for swingers called "Poly Shore". Jeans with special condom holders made exclusively for the lifestyle called "Poly Pockets". A full time art school for swingers run by "Leave it to Beaver's" Tony Dow,called "Poly Wally Doodle all the Day" . The high end grocery store/basketball arena for lifestylers called "Poly Pavilions". But it turns out it was just a slightly nicer "Poly Vons" grocery store/basketball arena. And lastly a white supremisist lifestyle dating site called "Poly want a Cracker".[/quote] So if you try poly and it doesn't work out, do you call it a Poly-Gone?
Being Stood Up - Sucks to be stood up - carrier, now thats just funny. that said, swingers are as a rule flakes its gonna happen so we recomend just meeting someplace you would go anyway that way when people flake off you can just enjoy your evening without them.
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