Poquoson Swingers in Virginia

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Mormons - - They have singles wards, why not swingers wards? :z

Now a single male looking for a rebound play - - That or rabid Ferrets. [quote=PALS4FUN]Yeah, swinging can cause huge pressure on a marriage and totally screw it up. I'm sure that's why most swingers, myself included, would never recommend swinging as a way to "spice-up" a marriage that is having some difficulty. You definitely have to be on the same page as your partner in order to give swinging a go -- and then be pretty damn quick on your feet and adaptable as things get going -- perhaps in a direction that you didn't expect. I don't get though, why the OP is back here if he's not interested in swinging for the long term or looking for a woman who is interested in it? Seems this OP is more suited for a singles-type site. And Evil, yes I'd like to see your listing 'cause I'm guessing that at least one of the items involves a douche-canoe going over a large peefall before crashing into a turd log. Or other such silliness, much funnier than what I've just described! ;) Yes ... I know your personality here![/quote]

Single Males - - [quote=CTA313][quote=EVILDOERS] ...get a girl to join you....Not only do you now "bring more to the table", but you have the added credibility that if you can find and finesse a girl into joining you in this little adventure we call swinging (whether it be a girlfriend, a wife, a second cousin twice removed, or just a hot fwb) you might just not be a giant douchecopter.[/quote] Ignoring the need to "finesse" someone and unhealthy gender stereotypes in general, this line of reasoning is a little troubling as it presumes that a male's company is inherently worth less. Or that an absence of semi-romantic relationships somehow speaks poorly of his character. I personally think approaching someone whom you aren't already fairly close with and soliciting to go to a swingers party is a bit out of line. Especially if her company is sought as an accessory to demonstrate to others that he is not, as you say, “a douchecopter”. Call me old-fashioned. [quote=EVILDOERS] I know we can't be the only people who secretly wonder just a little bit about some single guys and why they aren't with somebody. Do they secretly hate women (yes, we've met some that actually do), are they just too lazy (or busy, maybe...but hey, we're all busy) to find someone, are they serial killers and/or just not very nice guys? [/quote] Oh, I hope you are! That's a really unfortunate outlook to have. Promising relationships take time to find, let alone build to the requisite amount of trust and stability to try things like this. In the mean time, I don't see anything wrong with someone pursuing their interests while still holding out for someone worthy of their emotional investment. To me, that behavior is quite attractive should be respected! It doesn't get any better than someone who is confident, self-actualized, and motivated to pursue their desires. Sadly, it sounds their gender influences whether this is seen as a desirable trait. I'm not sure how long you've been out of things (30 years?), but it's easy to forget the struggle when you're comfortable in a marriage. Things are more fluid. People don't feel the need to settle down like they used to. [quote=EVILDOERS]I know many will say they've tried and swinging is a deal breaker for most women. After almost 3 decades in the swinging trenches meeting and talking to other people, both couples and singles, we would disagree....many, if not most, women could eventually come around to the idea of swinging once they feel safe and secure in a relationship.[/quote] This is just confirmation bias if the evidence comes from a sample of people you have met while swinging. [quote=EVILDOERS]...those of us who DID put in all the blood, sweat, and tears into a relationship and allow it to grow to the point of daring (don't think for a second we aren't risking a LOT in opening up our relationships to other people!) to allow others access to our significant other sometimes wonder why some others want to take a shortcut to all the sweet swinging bennies with little or no risk on their own part.[/quote] If you're not comfortable sharing your wife with someone you might view as a potential competition, you definitely don't have to. On the other hand, there are a lot of people enjoy it :) This smacks of the old “you must suffer as I did” chestnut. [/quote] Yes, I agree, "finesse" was a poor choice of words. In my defense, I was at work and rather in a hurry to make a point...that apparently I didn't make well (and my attempts to also be humorous apparently fell flat too). Rereading my post it does smack a little of mild gender bias but I can assure you that it wasn't my intent in any way and most certainly is not my outlook on women, relationships or life in general. My intent was simply to advocate approaching swinging as a mutually desirable activity that two partners desire and share equally in. And not that it matters, but I've shared my wife with probably over a hundred men, married and single, and I've never thought of any of them as competition. But I never thought of swinging as "sharing" my wife either, but instead as her deciding to be sexual with another person and me being totally okay with her decision to do so. Sharing her, to me, almost denotes some sort of ownership or at very least some kind of permission that I would have to give. Both those ideas are not a part of our relationship. Perhaps the concept of "competition" in swinging interactions is a single male attitude? I don't know. And I didn't mean it in any way, shape, or form as a "you must suffer as I did" trope but simply as the idea that we invested a LOT of hard work and time making our marriage what it is and together deciding to risk opening it up to the excitement and also the possibility of harm that is swinging. I think, perhaps, that sometimes single people in the lifestyle don't quite understand the very real possibility of permanent damage (or worse) to the relationship that couples who swing are flirting with. For many (most?) of us, our marriages/relationships are THE most precious thing we have. What, if anything, are you risking? A bruised ego?

RECOGNIZING OTHER SWINGERS - Outside of clubs & parties. - A few years back I learned right here in this forum that an upside down PINEAPPLE in your shopping cart was a signal to others that you are a swinger and on the prowl. So most times we are in a hurry while shopping, but when we do buy an pineapple we do set it on it's top in the kids seat part of the cart.. So far I have only ever seen 1 other person do it and I wasn't interested, so I passed. I have spoken to others about this and NOT 1 PERSON I know, knows about this!! So how many of you know this??? Also, I have been asked if I was a friend of ELLIS. (L-S) LIFESTYLE.... I did not get it at first, but this works as well if you already have reason to ask!!! How many knew this???

What is wrong with being a bi male? - - I've always had trouble with the fact that as swingers we are supposed to be open minded and different from vanilla people but when it comes to bi men we are so homophobic, as a group. It's OK, more than OK for a woman to be bi but men have been shunned as bi, in the lifestyle for as long as I can remember and we've been in the lifestyle for about 18 years now. At a hotel after party in a room there were 8 of us and one person made a comment about one time he was doing a woman who wanted him to pull out and cum on her chest. When the time came he cummed at her chest and caught her husband on the stomach. This brought about several comments from the other men in the room none positive and one said that would do him in for the night... Shit happens when there are a bunch of people doing what feels good. What's the problem. As far as bi men go it has long been a stigma that they could or were more prone to disease than a guy who is not bi. Women, even bi women have stayed away from bi men because they think one has a better than average chance of catching some dred STD. While bi and gay men are in the forefront of the HIV thing bi men, in the lifestyle are, I would think, are quite a bit more careful about using protection and who they play with. From my comments some might think that I'm bi, bi curious, or other unknown by me phrase. I am basically straight but definitely not homophobic. Someone said here that when you are in a pile it doesn't matter who is giving head if it feels good....regardless of what sex they are. I've used this example many times on various sites we have been on. Men who are bi do not want to cross the line and try to turn straight guys. Most are quite respectful for your preferences. Now all we have to do is get the notion that they are somehow dangerous, i.e., STD wise and that they want to turn straight guys. Might be some but I've met a number of straight guys who we find are not that arrow straight when you get to know them. They'll tell you when they find out that you are friends regardless of their preferences. I think that through sites like these that bi men are becoming much less a thing to be shunned or afraid of. Remember that bi women are as much a threat to your manhood and as much a danger about STD's as bi men. Remember we are supposed to be OPEN MINDED in the lifestyle.

Facebook group - - [quote=LIVNITUP]Seems like we read where there is a swingers Facebook group. Does anyone know if this true? If so, how do we find it?[/quote] There was one for the Daybreak area. It was a lot of fun! I wish I could find it again!

anyone looking to party in VA? - - Hey there all we are looking for some interested swingers in the S.W. VA area that are looking for some fun sextacular experiences drop us an email. we are very horny and eager to please for the right female or couple. We are not looking for anything serious just looking for fun. Sorry single males need not apply. Age and race totally unimportant, just free spirits and good times. xoxoxox Angel and Matthew

Fast lane travel in the digital age - Swinging - There are advantages and disadvantages, and Delicious, Cpswin,and Evil have pretty much covered them. But with all the disadvantages and lack of automatic screening, there is one big advantage. People genuinely interested in the lifestyle, nice and honest people, who might have known it existed and wanted to get into it can find it now. That wasn't always true. I sort of stumbled into it in the late '70s, simply because of some "hippiedom" connections from the early '70s. And even then, because I was single, I got invited to very, very, few gatherings. In fact, it was pretty much only if someone of about 4 or 5 couples were invited and the husband couldn't go and I was honored to be allowed to sort of fill in for him. Then in '82 I went to Europe, and when I came back in '89 I didn't even think of trying to find it again, I'd lost track of my old friends, and figured it'd be a useless pursuit, which it would have been. So, even though it lets idiots like single males who refuse to accept any responsibility for their own behavior, and who apparently think they're God's gift to women, and get all butt-hurt when they find out a girl they met on a swingers site is having sex with someone besides just them, find the lifestyle, it also lets some nice people who, just because they didn't happen to know anyone who was already involved, find it too. And I suspect that the bad outweigh the good, because the bad will get recognized as such, people will talk to each other, and while the not nice people will still find the public events, they'll be avoided by others, and eventually just go away. So hooray for the internet. [em]Emo_80[/em] Besides, if it weren't for the internet, I wouldn't be able to make my poor attempts at trading jokes with Evil. Whose current "backing away" won't, I hope, keep us from meeting him sooner or later, even with him in Salt Lake and us up in Ogden. I'm dying to find out if he's as funny in person as he is online. ~ Terry

where are the real people who want to swing - run into to many phonies - There are lots of "real" swingers that aren't "Ken & Barbies" out there. Of course, everybody's idea of "real" and "Ken & Barbie" differ becauase everybody has different tastes in appearance and what swinging is. You will run across those on sites that are just testing the waters, putting up a profile and seeing if they are really ready to, or want to, do this. The key is perserverance. I would also recommend finding out where the clubs or parties are going on in your area and attending those. Meeting people in person can do allot more then just a few small pictures and a a hundred words or so. Mr.

Kik group for UT swingers. - Contact me if your interested in joining a KIK group for Swingers - We actually have a pretty good ratio.