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Permissive still requires permission. - Permissive still requires permission. - [quote=WildNomad]I could go on for days about the misogyny and objectification I have experienced in the swinger world. I'll try to be concise. Here's a quick guide on how to not be part of the problem at lifestyle events. (And when I say "you" below, I mean everyone)
1) Don't objectify women at every opportunity. If my tits are out, they are not out for you to stare at and make comments on every time you interact with me. They are certainly not out for everyone to touch without permission. They are out because I enjoy being naked. Even when I am naked I am still a strong feminist woman. I am not a toy for your to objectify. Treat me like a human.
2) Ask for what you want. Never presume. Do you want to hug, kiss, touch or fuck me? Ask. It's as simple as that. Here's an example. You: "Can I kiss you?" Me: "Hell yes" See? Easy.
3) If it's not a Hell Yes, it's a Fuck No. If all parties involved do not feel 100% Hell Yes! about the situation, it's a no. I see this a lot in one partner "taking one for the team". That is never ok.
There is more but if everyone would do those 3, swinger events would be vastly improved. [/quote]
Just because an actress or actor chooses (Hopefully it was their choice) to be nude on camera, and or act sexual, as in acting, does not mean they owe anyone anything, and they are not granting anyone permission to take sexual liberties with them.
Same can be said for nudity, or sexual behavior at a swingers event. Or on a web site for what it's worth. We suppose, that if we get naked and behave sexually, in a semi public venue, that we cannot completely control who might see us. Granting permission to view, through proximity, does not grant permission to touch, or take any other sexual liberties.
Can I say hello? - What to do in public - Really for us it depends on the people that recognize us and whether or not they have some common sense and are sensitive enough to be careful when necessary. If they are the type of people that can say hello in a public place and be friendly without flaunting their swingers insignia and secret handshake and singing the swingers theme song and such then we have no problem being approached in public. The local churches all have the ultra vocal keepers of the faith that have to define everyone and everything under the Johnny one note shallow interpretation of their religion because it is too terrifying and painful to be a whole complex person and therefore they live for the pats on the back that come from the endless recitations of their creed. There are people that become far too single minded in all sorts of pursuits including swinging that can become just as annoying and dangerous.
Where we are when you see us makes a difference too in what we consider appropriate. If we are in the grocery store or out to dinner with friends or family then saying hello is fine but we ask that anyone that approaches us please leave the swingers content completely out of what you say to us. Do not hit on us. Our friends and family know the two of us are busy and social and we both have friends as individuals and as a couple that we have met in a variety of ways so people say hello to us, which they do not know all the time anyway. Some people that we know are clients and so if we do not offer an explanation about how we know you, our family and friends assume it is probably from work. If we are at a bar and obviously looking playful and sexual in are demeanor and dress and you want to approach us fine, but even then be a bit discreet in your initial approach. If we are talking with someone or obviously with someone then be a bit discreet because we party with vanillas too. If they are people that we trust we probably won't care if they get a hint of what you and we might share in common. Many of our friends and even our family members know we are not always 100% monogamous and they also know we are multifaceted and involved in many things so non monogamy for us is only part of who we are and what we do and not a defining consuming aspect of our lives.
We tend to shy away from saying hello to people in public places that recognize as being in the lifestyle unless we already know them because we do not want to make anyone uncomfortable.
Forum disagreements and swinging (was Something for Lefty) - - You know what??? I thought this was a swingers forum. A place to meet people and make friends. What on earth are you doing bringing war and politics in here? Politics is just like religion. Everyone has their own thoughts and beliefs and it's their right to. My thoughts and opinions are that this forum is no place to discuss either. Seems that some start these kinds of threads just to start heated and argumentitive discussion. Also by the persistance i see, they also like to hear themselves talk. Well why don't you take it to a political forum and give us a break. We'd like to read about things here that bring about a little sunshine in our lives. Your precious Mr. Bush hasn't done that since day one.....war or no war.
wife with other men - ahhhrrrggghhh - If you are going to be swingers the first thing you need to do is set boundaries for each other, if you are worried she is going to something you may not agree with sit down first and talk about what is ok and what is not!!! You can both enjoy this life style and not have to worry about jealously for example only play together. Go to parties, have another couple over or go to there place, etc. If that would be easier for you then you both are there and both in the fun. To be in this lifestyle you MUST TRUST YOUR SPOUSE!! you can't look at this as cheating because you are both committed to each other you are just sharing you sexual lives with other to fulfill a need no one in this lifestyle is looking for a new life long love just friends and fun. Make sure you talk to each other and express why you are worried set limits you both are comfortable with!!!!! If you don't think you can over come being jealous this life style is not for you!!!
Where are the Midwest Swingers? - - Seriously. I'm a recent college grad, and my guy is still in school, so we can't go traipsing off around the country to meet people. Where are the swingers from Ohio, Indiana, western PA, south Michigan, etc?
No offense to the people on our friends list, but I'm tired of getting all excited to see that we have a new message only to find it's a friend request from someone in freaking Utah. I mean, seriously. Literally everyone I know who graduated from college in 2009 is working a dead end job somewhere. None of us has a career, so even if we were willing to spend the money to travel cross-country for casual sex, we don't have it to spend.
I've visited some other swinging sites, and on many of them, there were lots of ....well, profiles, at least, from Ohio. We've met several couples from one of the sites, even though we haven't swung with them.
WTF?
fantasy football league free trying to get only swingers in leag - free autodraft fantasy football league - trying to get an all swinger league. got 3 so far trying for 20. here is the info you will need to sign up go to nfl.com under fantasy set up a profile, if you dont have one. then look up the following
League ID #404175
Password:swap
Draft Type:Auto Aug 25, 2011 4:00am MDT
Custom Url:http://lifestylefantasy.league.fantasy.nfl.com
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Why do most cpls in the age range of 25-40 get so hung up on ag - - we love meeting new friends in the life style . but we dont want to play with everybody we meet . we go to alot of parties and hang out with a lot of different levels and ages of swingers . we dont rule one out more then the other for any reason . do we going looking for bigger people ???? or older people ???? no . but we really dont go looking for anyone . we enjoy our friends and try to make new ones .and we look and see each person for who they are and how they act . i am looking for friends to hang out with . and then i PICK MY PLAYMATES OUT OF THAT GROUP . the ones i click with and feel turned on i will play as much as i want to . do i rush faster to go up and say hi to a younger and in shape couple . hell yes . but i will also pull the oldest person in the club up on the dance floor and have a blast !!! i enjoy hanging out with older swingers . but alot of people that have been in the life style for along time are more in a rush and looking for fun . i love the new bies best . they are new and fresh and so creative and more into teashing and flirting WHICH IS MY BIGGEST TURN ON . but i also love to flirt and just make people happy . last party i asked an older woman to be my parnter in a contest . at a huge club with about 400 people . she was very shy cause all the other girls where DANCER LOOK ALIKES ... ( I DONT LIKE THE BARBIE LOOK ALIKE TYPE ) PERFECT ISNT MY CUP OF TEA . but i was teasing this older woman and i got to her lift her skirt and let me spank her ass . and she was spanking mine . and then she had to do a dance by herself . and i gave her a hug and spanked her ass and told her to go shake that hot ass and make them all scream . she did her best and she had a blast . she told me thanks so much for making her feel so alive and wild . and that made me so turned on and happy . and i love hanging out with people who are creative and fun . i look at peoples pics and see what their style is .i read their profiles and see how much they open up and what they have to say . yes i do look on the outside a bit to be with someone . but i also judge them by them for the real them . and what they like and dont like . and how they treat others and each other . iam so turned on by a few older couple that we know . one couple we did some things that we have never done before cause they wanted it like that we love to get wild , and take pics and make movies . i love body paints . i am turned on by people who are into what we are . young or old .black or white , married or single . alot of people talk about all the popel that dont like them cause they are older or not in perfect shape . but i also dont play with the hard bodies and try to look and act all perfect .that is a huge turn off to me . the ladies that all go to the club and they all look alike . blonde hair , tats int eh same place s , same cute matching outfits ,same size tits . and they think thats all their is about them . i cant stand that shit , people ask me why am i hanging out with the older ones and not chasing the pole dancer . i like to see people for who they are . and see the bad with the good and still like it . and want it . some people turn u on and some dont . if u are at a place where most people dont then u are hanging out with the wrong crowd . always be around fun people that u click with .
and sometimes things that are bothering people about themselves can show . or just be in your head that is the reason . there could be other reasons about u that someone isnt turned on by . we hang out with alot of people . but play with only a few good friends . and thats what we are looking for . and we wont play with anyone that is just look ing for a play mates .
so the best advise i can think of is ... to find a cool fun group that u can have a blast with and find what u want and need and dont worry about the ones that u dont click with for whatever reason . no biggie . have fun with the ones that do like u . thats what matters .
naguhty dreams
freaky kitty
centrall illinois swingers around springfield,illinois - party for couples and single females - would like to see who be interested in a party either in springfield or near by to get a new club goin as a reasonible price and have enjoy entertainment.. hope we can get somethign goin ... with any suggestion would help
How many? - - Well, Me the Mr. would have been dead before 25. Back in the good old days anything that could be caught was easily cured with an antibiotic or at least so we thought. So from the time we crazy kids were in our late teens it was not uncommon to have sex with 7 or 8 different people in a year as part of dating. Most of us were probably just lucky. Never became a baby daddy thanks to birth control and I never contracted anything. So I would have been dead a long time ago. At 26 I got married and we have been together over 30 years. Mrs. Delicious was a sexy 5'11" 19 year old goddess and a virgin with a smoking hot 36D-23-36 build with deep blue eyes and a smile and voice of a siren. She is still smoking hot in her older version of herself. We were both a bit more conservative because I had gone so far off in the outskirts of normal in my youth and as a musician that I had bounced back the other direction and she was from a conservative background. We raised a family and did all the things parents should do to enrich their children's educational experience and to promote growth etc., so we really would not have the time or the place to do much swinging. After 23 or 24 years of monogamy, which we do not regret and enjoyed, and with the kids all either adults or almost adults we decided to attend a few swingers meet and greets and one thing leads to another and so now after a some years of swinging I would be dead again after my resurrection from monogamy and Mrs. Delicious would be dead as well and frankly more dead than me. She has been adept at playing catch up ball or should I say catch up balling and being bisexual has a more diverse rage of sexual experiences than her husband. I would be dead from the female sexual experience whereas she would be dead from the male sexual experience and really, really drunk if not dead from the female sexual experience too.
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