Hondo Swingers in Texas

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closed doors? - - It seems as if the doors are closed to a couple with little or no experience. Why is that? My wife and I have been posting ads on various swing sites for a while now and haven't been lucky enough to find a nice couple or single female to hook up with. Is it that swingers don't want to "waste their time" breaking in newbies or what? We've chatted with a single female who blew us off and a couple of couples who have done the same. We would just love to find a couple or single female who we can actually hook up with. How are you supposed to "enjoy the lifestyle" when the lifestyle won't enjoy you?

What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - I'm home bored, so stop here if you don't want to read a bunch of shite. lol. I think we both entered the lifestyle with some preconceived notions of what the people in the LS would be like, but that was mostly from our limited experience with being vanilla and having LS peeps try to hit on us. It just seemed creepy, desperate and gross at the time. We assumed most of the players would be super aggressive, ready to fuck anyone and have zero interest in relationships outside of sex. Our initial entry was simply to watch and be watched. We quickly learned that there are just as many wonderful people in the LS as out of it. Maybe more. There will always be the outliers, the few percentage on each end of the spectrum that are more extreme, but that happens in any population. Overall, it was a happy surprise. So that would be a negative expectation that wasn't met. As far as things we were hoping would happen or expectation that weren't met, we have very few. But we also went into the labyrinth without really expecting or assuming anything. I don't think we were naive enough to think that this segment of the population was somehow immune from the social characteristics that reveal themselves in any other social class or group. You will always have the "cool kids" the "shy people" the "jocks" the "geeks" the people who classify themselves as the "pity party" and blame the world for their problems. Those things will exist anywhere and should. Swingers are a diverse group of people with a few, maybe very few, common goals. Those goals I think are to meet others with social deviancy and those interested in expanding their sexual experiences or simply to meet new friends. Swinging, in itself, doesn't solidify your beliefs in anything else (politics, food preferences, choice of travel location, or even how or what you are looking for as swingers). I think that is where expectations can fail. If a person goes into a situation thinking, "I/we think "x" so everyone else must think "x" as well", they are bound to be disappointed. I've said this a lot of times, the lifestyle is not black and white. Life isn't black and white. There will be frustrations around every turn if you allow yourself to be duped into thinking your way of thinking is more than just your viewpoint, that it is universal to everyone. I see people complaining of flakes, people who meet once then run away, etc. That's how they roll. That's their truth. It's what they are comfortable with or wanting and who am I to judge. That being said, I don't have to associate with them and hopefully learn how to avoid that situation or become more efficient at finding people with similar interests. The lifestyle is work. Sometimes a lot of work. I think it's foolish to think that it should be easy to find 4 people who all jive. Think about how many people you have dated before settling on the right one for you. And to assume that somehow changes in the lifestyle and that after chatting on kik for a few weeks then meeting over drinks will somehow magically connect you. Ugh. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. But I wouldn't expect it. For others, the thought of any connection past the one-nighter is absurd. Why would you want to make friends with your fuck-buddies? It may be too risky and cause too many emotions. Point is, we are all different and that is what makes the journey so beautiful. And, just a note about flakes, since it is a recurrent theme. Yes, maybe there are more flakes in the lifestyle, but I'm guessing it's specifically related to the nature of the LS. Swinging for some can be very intimidating and frightening. Sometimes the chase is much more fun than the fucking. Not excusing them that do flake, it seems a problem for sure, but I think I understand, at least in part, why it happens so much. There is so much social pressure not to be in the lifestyle and most were brought up without it being the normal way to live. So society is telling us we are wrong, gross, deviant, etc. Add to that the fear of actually getting naked and fucking someone else and it can cause a lot of anxiety in some. When we first started we were petrified to even go the parties thinking it was going to be a fuck/rape fest. lol. Turned out we were wrong but it was a learning process. Lastly, if you are already treading carefully and the couple/person you are supposed to be meeting gives off any bad vibes, maybe flaking is best. It's hard not to hurt someone's feelings and honesty isn't always what happens. I know we have been honest with couples and it turned into a shit-show. Why don't you like us? If you only meet us and give us a chance we can prove we are wonderful. Other's like us, why don't you. It's hard to be honest at times about why there isn't a connection. May flaking be a way to spare feelings? I don't know. There are probably a plethora (Hefe, do you know what a plethora is?)of reasons people flake and some of those my be that they are just douches. But likely there are other people that aren't and are just trying to get out of a situation they are unfamiliar with. Avoid the douches but maybe give those others a second chance. Evil: always good topics you bring to the table. So you think because people like sex they should be good at it? I know a lot of people who love food but suck at cooking. haha. Maybe having too many options on the table can also make people lazy. I don't have to try hard if I know tomorrow is another partner. To some it's the quantity and not the quality. But I can see why the expectation would be there. All in all we really have no complaints. It's been a fascination journey. Some ups, some downs, but always and adventure. We will keep our expectations low, both of ourselves and those around us. Less disappointment that way. I'm going back to sitting in my underwear, drinking a beer and watching TV. Zero expectations. haha. :) Mr. SRO

Why can't we find any text and remote pervs!? - We love to sext and hve fun over long distances at times - [quote=URIAH]Some of us old-school swingers simply prefer the old fashioned practice of sex in the same room, naked, with everyone touching. Uriah[/quote] Old School? 56? You young whipperrsnapper, you. ~ Terry

Know any Mormon swingers in SoCal? - Single girl in SoCal wants to know! - OMG, I am SO going straight to hell for all the dirty songs I've sung to Primary melodies. [em]Emo_94[/em]

Mormons - - Evil, we agree. We want to believe that therr is a gene or a doctorine in the BoM that creates hot swingers, but this is a dead thread. Mormons are no more likely to be swingers than anyone else.

POT... Should it be illegal? - - Or Hippocrates...can never remember which. And I have news for you. It AIN'T just the "holy mormon empire". There are more than enough hypocrites in this world to go around (most of us swingers included). [em]Emo_84[/em]

Swinger Study Survey - - What I don't understand is how singles male or female call them selfs swingers. Now we have nothing against singles we enjoy there company often. To us swingers are a couple that are sharing them selfs with others outside of there relationship. where as singles are not shareing anything with anyone. They are just looking to get laid ( I don't hold that against them ) but swingers are couples.

KUTV News Story on Swingers - News - The woman featured in the story contacted Heidi Hatch and not the other way around. Swingular became a featured part of the story because this woman included the site, as part of her tale of woe. The story was one sided because Heidi Hatch only spoke with one person as a reporter. She may have chatted with a lot of us under false pretenses. Obviously, KUTV news had a lot to do with how badly the story was presented. I would suspect there is at least one intelligent, insightful reporter somewhere with in the state that would be willing to present something less opinionated and in depth. Maybe Doug Fabrizio on KUER radio would be willing to turn his considerable talents toward an insightful investigative report. Mr. Fabrizio would probably read some of the better literature about the lifestyle in preparation and open a profile identifying himself honestly, as a reporter. The catch is he would need to be able to interview quite a few couples and singles within the lifestyle and probably actually attend a meet and greet, with an invitation, so as to have a first hand experience sans the sexual part of it. Well unless he and his wife were so inclined. With radio west being a radio program there would not be any faces revealed, but I think to be interesting the story would require a few couples willing to talk openly on air. That would be hard to find.

Swingers Kickball Society - - We would like too

Swing Camp (7/15 - 7/17) - Swingers Campout in Birch Creek Idaho - Sounds like a great time. Have you considered Fall creek??? Their are plenty of sites that are a non pay type that have lots of trees with the creek for some interesting bathing!!!