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If you are looking
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Translating Personals/Swingers Ads - - HOW TO TRANSLATE PERSONAL ADS:
WOMEN'S ADS
40-ish...................................49
Adventurer...........................Slept with all your friends
Athletic................................No boobs
Average looking...................Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful...............................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated..............................Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure...............Medicated
Feminist...............................Fat ballbuster
Free spirit............................Junkie
Friendship first.....................Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun......................................Annoying
Gentle..................................Comatose
Good Listener......................Borderline Autistic
New-Age............................All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned......................Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded......................Desperate
Outgoing..............................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate............................Sloppy drunk
Poet.....................................Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional..........................Certified Bitch
Redhead...............................Bad dye-job
Reubenesque........................Grossly Fat
Romantic..............................Looks better by candle light
Social...................................Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray
Voluptuous...........................Very Fat
Height/weight proportional....Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate...................Stalker
Widow.................................Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart. ....................Old bat
--------
MEN'S ADS
40-ish.....................................52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic...................................Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking......................Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated................................Will patronize the shit out of you
Free Spirit..............................Banging your sister
Friendship first.......................As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun........................................Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking.........................Arrogant
Very good looking..................Dumb as a board
Honest....................................Pathological Liar
Huggable................................Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle.......................Insecure mama's boy
Mature...................................Older than your father
Open-minded.........................Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit............................Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet.......................................Wrote ex-girlfriend's phone number on a bathroom stall
Sensitive.................................Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive.........................Gay
Spiritual..................................Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable.....................................Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful...............................Says "Excuse me" when he farts
asking your swinger friend if you can join them. - - [quote=EVILDOERS]"I am not in the lifestyle and don't think I ever really fully would be"
"K USSIR your not a swinger but you wanna have sex with you friends wife with your friend there? HMMMMMMM I smell a swinger in the making"
Naw, I smell a single guy who just wants to get laid. If you aren't really interested in swinging just leave it alone and get your jollies elsewhere. There are plenty of ways for you to get your rocks off in bars and clubs and on Craigslist. It's your VERY common SM attitude that makes it tough for the very few single guys who get it and really want to be part of the lifestyle. No wonder so many people constantly say that singles aren't really swingers. But don't worry. You aren't alone. We've met TONS of single dudes over the years who've admitted that they would NEVER allow their wife (if they ever got married) to fuck another man. Swinging is an attitude and a mindset. A guy who would let you fuck his wife is risking a lot and sharing with you the most important thing in his life. If you can't grasp that concept you should just stay home and jerk it to online porn.[/quote]
I had not thought about it like that. I guess I was thinking that if he would consider asking a "friend" to consider allowing him to have sex with his wife that he would at least consider letting his friend have sex with his wife too were he married. If he wouldn't then that makes him a bit unilateral in his approach and really his co-worker should recognize early on that they are being used for carnal considerations that fall somewhere in opposition with this fellows own code of ethics. If he means that he cannot see himself as a swinger as in he is not looking to find a mate that would be swing friendly, or feels he can attract or maybe even afford a mate that would be swing friendly or maybe even find a mate at all then that is a bit different. I am not ready to light the torches we like to light and carry as we chase away and banish a single male from our world just yet.
USSIR, If that be the case, that you want to bang his wife, but you would never allow yours to be banged, think again and treat your co-worker and his wife like a friend and an equal rather than a hedonistic opportunity to exploit. Asking him to allow you to do something that you are frankly apposed to and then doing it will most probably reduce your own self esteem as well and it should. If your intentions are respectful toward all parties involved then that is different.
Ways to point out Swingers in public - - [quote=EVILDOERS][quote=BOOBERRIESJ]How about black silicone ring on the pinkie finger - both male and female- match them and you have a swinger couple !! New code for all of us ??? Or 2 stacked rings on the pinkie meaning shared ?[/quote]
Again, how long do you think it would take...weeks, days, HOURS, before this spread via social media? If there was a surefire way to ID other swingers without outing yourself or them, believe me, some swinger would have figured it out by now. LOL
Besides, why is it such a big deal being able to find other swingers out in the vanilla world? For all the uncertainty and the very REAL possibility of misidentifying some vanilla as a swinger isn't it just easier to, say, go to a website where you KNOW everyone there is a swinger and, like, perv a bunch of profiles and shoot off a few emails and friend requests? [em]Emo_28[/em]
Now, if you like to "hunt" vanillas and try to seduce/corrupt/convert them then that's an altogether different thing. LOL[/quote]
We like how you think!!!
Favorite bars in utah - - *Piper Down, *Green Pig, Whiskey Street and Red Door for Salt Lake. Fiddlers Elbow and *Fats Grill in Sugar House. *The Bohemian and *Hog Wallow further south and up a nearby canyon 20 minutes away the *Tram Club and *Aerie Lounge. For swingers meet and greeting **Club 48, Club 90 and **Habits are cool but not really at all our favorite bars.
* indicates success in meeting friends with benefits. **indicates meeting friends with benefits that were there at a swinger
Swingers now officially a high risk group for STDs and STIs - Do your own research - ABCMAN & DELICIOUS are both correct and we should thank you for pointing this out. I don
Children's Book 🤣 - Tim and Kate are Swingers - Yeaaa...we'll pass.
Translating Personals/Swingers Ads - - NWBICPL: Yeah, but at least you can laugh at it. We have to admit, we have had some good laughs over the difference between the profile and who shows up at the meet and greet. You HAVE to just chuckle! Often, it's okay anyway, after you get past the "false advertisement" part.
I'm not sure which description applies to "these are our high school graduation pics" but we're sure there is one!
What is your main lifestyle insecurities? - - [quote=CypherandCeli]Our main one as noobs is rejection and drama. Yes it's part of any relationship, but it's still there. We aren't fit, we are a typical middle aged couple with kids. We are also only looking to take it slow and start with soft swap. We were on before and meet a few people that were very aggressive or mad when we didn't want to have sex after a 5 min conversation with just the guy. We understand not everyone will be attracted to everyone or want just a soft swing, but it's still our biggest insecurity. [/quote
Soft swing, to us, is a warm comforting security blanket, that eliminates all sorts of issues. Who doesn't want to cuddle up, enveloped in the security of the one they love the most? No swing, same room, no sexual contact with anyone but your spouse even more so. Really, it eliminates a lot of potential anxiety. It is a lot of fun too! There are a lot of seasoned swingers that totally understand where you are. Full swap, group play, and such are absolutely fantastic when everyone involved is ready, attracted, there is chemistry, and everyone wholeheartedly wants to do it. Our experience is that quite often the pushy side of a couple's equation is just as insensitive toward their significant other as they are toward you.
Age differences - How do you handle it - We2, I can understand what you are saying. My first wife was 16 years older then I and my current wife is 6 years younger. First wife helped me to mature early and quickly and current wife keeps me young and on my toes. Seems like most everyone feels similar to us. Maybe the people having the conversation we were involved in should have said the younger swingers that were at the party they were referring to were not as mature instead of saying they are more into flirting and dirty dancing rather then playing.
Swingers cars??? - What ya driving?? - BUBBLES: It will only be a serious contender if the judges actually know what they're looking at, and understand its significance.
I've been judging in car shows for nearly 30 years - everything from concours national events to local cruise ins - and I've also been a participant for more years than that.
It's never ceased to amaze me what total idiots some organizations can come up with to judge at the shows they put on.
Nice piece you've got there, and Sterling Silver to boot.
I assume it's an M40?
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