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FUCK going to the gym! - - [quote=EVILDOERS]Uh...I was pretty much kidding people. I don't think firing up a fattie and listening to Pink Floyd is gonna replace the squat rack any time soon. Just thought the study was interesting because SO many people (well prolly not quite as many swingers) around these parts are so anti weed. All I know is that I've never been punched by somebody who was high on weed. Alcohol on the other hand...[/quote]
I was about to say if you two look the way you do from being stoned constantly, then I'd quit the gym and subscribe to your methods ;)
What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - I'm home bored, so stop here if you don't want to read a bunch of shite. lol.
I think we both entered the lifestyle with some preconceived notions of what the people in the LS would be like, but that was mostly from our limited experience with being vanilla and having LS peeps try to hit on us. It just seemed creepy, desperate and gross at the time. We assumed most of the players would be super aggressive, ready to fuck anyone and have zero interest in relationships outside of sex. Our initial entry was simply to watch and be watched. We quickly learned that there are just as many wonderful people in the LS as out of it. Maybe more. There will always be the outliers, the few percentage on each end of the spectrum that are more extreme, but that happens in any population. Overall, it was a happy surprise. So that would be a negative expectation that wasn't met.
As far as things we were hoping would happen or expectation that weren't met, we have very few. But we also went into the labyrinth without really expecting or assuming anything. I don't think we were naive enough to think that this segment of the population was somehow immune from the social characteristics that reveal themselves in any other social class or group. You will always have the "cool kids" the "shy people" the "jocks" the "geeks" the people who classify themselves as the "pity party" and blame the world for their problems. Those things will exist anywhere and should. Swingers are a diverse group of people with a few, maybe very few, common goals. Those goals I think are to meet others with social deviancy and those interested in expanding their sexual experiences or simply to meet new friends. Swinging, in itself, doesn't solidify your beliefs in anything else (politics, food preferences, choice of travel location, or even how or what you are looking for as swingers). I think that is where expectations can fail. If a person goes into a situation thinking, "I/we think "x" so everyone else must think "x" as well", they are bound to be disappointed. I've said this a lot of times, the lifestyle is not black and white. Life isn't black and white. There will be frustrations around every turn if you allow yourself to be duped into thinking your way of thinking is more than just your viewpoint, that it is universal to everyone. I see people complaining of flakes, people who meet once then run away, etc. That's how they roll. That's their truth. It's what they are comfortable with or wanting and who am I to judge. That being said, I don't have to associate with them and hopefully learn how to avoid that situation or become more efficient at finding people with similar interests. The lifestyle is work. Sometimes a lot of work. I think it's foolish to think that it should be easy to find 4 people who all jive. Think about how many people you have dated before settling on the right one for you. And to assume that somehow changes in the lifestyle and that after chatting on kik for a few weeks then meeting over drinks will somehow magically connect you. Ugh. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. But I wouldn't expect it. For others, the thought of any connection past the one-nighter is absurd. Why would you want to make friends with your fuck-buddies? It may be too risky and cause too many emotions. Point is, we are all different and that is what makes the journey so beautiful.
And, just a note about flakes, since it is a recurrent theme. Yes, maybe there are more flakes in the lifestyle, but I'm guessing it's specifically related to the nature of the LS. Swinging for some can be very intimidating and frightening. Sometimes the chase is much more fun than the fucking. Not excusing them that do flake, it seems a problem for sure, but I think I understand, at least in part, why it happens so much. There is so much social pressure not to be in the lifestyle and most were brought up without it being the normal way to live. So society is telling us we are wrong, gross, deviant, etc. Add to that the fear of actually getting naked and fucking someone else and it can cause a lot of anxiety in some. When we first started we were petrified to even go the parties thinking it was going to be a fuck/rape fest. lol. Turned out we were wrong but it was a learning process. Lastly, if you are already treading carefully and the couple/person you are supposed to be meeting gives off any bad vibes, maybe flaking is best. It's hard not to hurt someone's feelings and honesty isn't always what happens. I know we have been honest with couples and it turned into a shit-show. Why don't you like us? If you only meet us and give us a chance we can prove we are wonderful. Other's like us, why don't you. It's hard to be honest at times about why there isn't a connection. May flaking be a way to spare feelings? I don't know. There are probably a plethora (Hefe, do you know what a plethora is?)of reasons people flake and some of those my be that they are just douches. But likely there are other people that aren't and are just trying to get out of a situation they are unfamiliar with. Avoid the douches but maybe give those others a second chance.
Evil: always good topics you bring to the table. So you think because people like sex they should be good at it? I know a lot of people who love food but suck at cooking. haha. Maybe having too many options on the table can also make people lazy. I don't have to try hard if I know tomorrow is another partner. To some it's the quantity and not the quality. But I can see why the expectation would be there.
All in all we really have no complaints. It's been a fascination journey. Some ups, some downs, but always and adventure. We will keep our expectations low, both of ourselves and those around us. Less disappointment that way. I'm going back to sitting in my underwear, drinking a beer and watching TV. Zero expectations. haha. :)
Mr. SRO
Moab lifestyle - looking for what lies under the covers in Moab - Sadly Evildoers is right, at least in our experience. Sure, plenty of swingers travel to Moab, but if there is a notable population of local swingers interested in meeting outsiders, they keep themselves incredibly well-hidden. In fact, you'd be very hard-pressed to even find a single-male to join you, and that's even if you completely toss out any expectations and standards. The reality is that the bulk of Utah's population is on the sexually conservative end of the spectrum.
Hello summer - Swingers couple party - Why don't single females have to abide by those same rules? Seems discriminatory doesn't it?
Swinger & 🦄 Bait - An experiment to attract swingers and unicorns. - 😂😂😂 I would have said something for sure!! Perhaps .........what you like another unicorn!🦄 here I am!🦄
S#!% swingers say - - I don't know how many have seen the youtube video "Shit Swingers Say," but it's pretty funny.
I don't know if I can embed video on this forum, but I will try. If this doesn't work, just search youtube for "shit swingers say." You will laugh, or your money back!
Effinghman - Swingers - awwe dang u moved
What sets you apart from other swingers - Lets see whos looking for what. - What makes me different is first, my ability to read what the other COUPLE is looking for i.e. the type of encounter, making sure there truly aren't any hangups or jealousy issues, what kind of approach I should take in flirting and foreplay, etc. This happens before the act and is kind of more of a big picture thing.
Then reading what the FEMALE is looking for... For example, I love petite women depending on the girl and her fantasies some like to be manhandled a bit and some need to be treated like delicate little flowers. This is like a small picture thing.
Then, on the micro level, just guiding the encounter and seeing what's getting her off. Most every guy can do this and thinks it makes him a great lover, but I consider this to be Basic.
No one has posted a weakness yet?
I suppose I'll go first. I like to come as many times as possible in an encounter and know how to keep a girl cumming in between. Sometimes, and this goes back to reading your partner, a girl wants to be "pounded all night" (gangbang girls) or just wants to go for one extended round. In a group environment it's easy to just take the tag and sit out, but for 1 on 1 I have less fun this way.
On Premise Swingers Club - SLC - we were members of the previous club and if another one opened here we would be members there
Honeybears23 - Couple - Looking for swingers over 50 for fun times in Virginia
