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Utah moms (Mormon) TikTok drama - - I don't know who that person is but I do know that swingers will ways throw others under the bus. It's happened to me several times mostly to get with the female I was with. Men will tattle on each other in hopes that the female will leave and run to him which never did work. Nonetheless the attempt was there. They ways tell and swingers always talk. Yet this entire time I've kept so many secrets about others and never will reveal anything. Too bad no one else does. I've been around for a long time in the lifestyle especially when I was a couple. We knew about marriages breaking up. Two of who I know personally. Actually three now that I think about it. I'll never name anyone. All I ask is the same respect and keep it to yourself.
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - only done it once, but would love to try it again. any volunteers
Why do they run? - Why do most couples run when you suggest a real full swap? - Yes, some responses do seem to be a bit \"hostile\" as someone put it...(and I\'m sure mine is about to sound the same)...but maybe that is because they may have felt attakced by the originator saying they must be insecure. How about instead of judging the \"security\" of a couple by saying, \"they must be insecure if they don\'t want to do this...\" consider that there are as many ways to swing as there are swingers. Yes, some people develop their boundaries based on \"insecurities\", others simply because of what they like and desire. We just aren\'t in this to go off and play around with other people, this is something we share and enjoy together. If you are into that, that\'s fine, but don\'t judge others because they aren\'t.
Big girls!!! - - Pity we don't live in Utah.It seems to be a great place for swingers
KUTV News Story on Swingers - News - We get so many comments from our vanilla friends that we have the best relationship and happiest marriage they have ever seen. In fact, we have had total strangers observing us come up and say to me that they wish their spouse were like mr chastity, as loving and devoted to me as he clearly is. If only they knew that our big secret to a loving, happy, long lasting relationship is open communication, absolute honesty, and no jelousy; pretty much the stuff the sums up the lifestyle for those that start with a strong relationship and go into it together for fun and not as a last ditch effort to save a sinking ship.
Do you only play with married couples? - - Marriage has little to do with this lifestyle. I've found that swingers (libertines) are a state of being or mindset and not a label given to any one group. Singles can be swingers too. Unmarried couples can be as well. Swinger is a broad label. Marriage has nothing to do with it.
-D-
Symbol Question - -
WEFLY,
Not a guru, just takin a guess. Amy could be correct in that it maybe referencing swingers. LOL. I was going for the literal approach.
-Don-
Proud member of
what the f#%@ was he thinking? - swingers still deserve respect - We always get those kind of Jokers emailing us...9 times out of 10 the guy is just spanking his monkey in front of his computer because he's a social misfit..Just delete and laugh it off
Bisexual - when did you know? - I knew before and it is the reason we are swingers.
My husband and I are very new to the lifestyle even thourgh we have been talking about it for two years.Two years ago we started to noticed when watching porns that the women together made me hornier than anything.I was with a woman one time but we did not get to finish what we started. :( She went down on me but that was it.(My husband was watching.)Then she moved a few days later.Now we are trying to find a Bi-female to fulfill my fantasy of beening with a woman.:p
What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - I'm home bored, so stop here if you don't want to read a bunch of shite. lol.
I think we both entered the lifestyle with some preconceived notions of what the people in the LS would be like, but that was mostly from our limited experience with being vanilla and having LS peeps try to hit on us. It just seemed creepy, desperate and gross at the time. We assumed most of the players would be super aggressive, ready to fuck anyone and have zero interest in relationships outside of sex. Our initial entry was simply to watch and be watched. We quickly learned that there are just as many wonderful people in the LS as out of it. Maybe more. There will always be the outliers, the few percentage on each end of the spectrum that are more extreme, but that happens in any population. Overall, it was a happy surprise. So that would be a negative expectation that wasn't met.
As far as things we were hoping would happen or expectation that weren't met, we have very few. But we also went into the labyrinth without really expecting or assuming anything. I don't think we were naive enough to think that this segment of the population was somehow immune from the social characteristics that reveal themselves in any other social class or group. You will always have the "cool kids" the "shy people" the "jocks" the "geeks" the people who classify themselves as the "pity party" and blame the world for their problems. Those things will exist anywhere and should. Swingers are a diverse group of people with a few, maybe very few, common goals. Those goals I think are to meet others with social deviancy and those interested in expanding their sexual experiences or simply to meet new friends. Swinging, in itself, doesn't solidify your beliefs in anything else (politics, food preferences, choice of travel location, or even how or what you are looking for as swingers). I think that is where expectations can fail. If a person goes into a situation thinking, "I/we think "x" so everyone else must think "x" as well", they are bound to be disappointed. I've said this a lot of times, the lifestyle is not black and white. Life isn't black and white. There will be frustrations around every turn if you allow yourself to be duped into thinking your way of thinking is more than just your viewpoint, that it is universal to everyone. I see people complaining of flakes, people who meet once then run away, etc. That's how they roll. That's their truth. It's what they are comfortable with or wanting and who am I to judge. That being said, I don't have to associate with them and hopefully learn how to avoid that situation or become more efficient at finding people with similar interests. The lifestyle is work. Sometimes a lot of work. I think it's foolish to think that it should be easy to find 4 people who all jive. Think about how many people you have dated before settling on the right one for you. And to assume that somehow changes in the lifestyle and that after chatting on kik for a few weeks then meeting over drinks will somehow magically connect you. Ugh. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. But I wouldn't expect it. For others, the thought of any connection past the one-nighter is absurd. Why would you want to make friends with your fuck-buddies? It may be too risky and cause too many emotions. Point is, we are all different and that is what makes the journey so beautiful.
And, just a note about flakes, since it is a recurrent theme. Yes, maybe there are more flakes in the lifestyle, but I'm guessing it's specifically related to the nature of the LS. Swinging for some can be very intimidating and frightening. Sometimes the chase is much more fun than the fucking. Not excusing them that do flake, it seems a problem for sure, but I think I understand, at least in part, why it happens so much. There is so much social pressure not to be in the lifestyle and most were brought up without it being the normal way to live. So society is telling us we are wrong, gross, deviant, etc. Add to that the fear of actually getting naked and fucking someone else and it can cause a lot of anxiety in some. When we first started we were petrified to even go the parties thinking it was going to be a fuck/rape fest. lol. Turned out we were wrong but it was a learning process. Lastly, if you are already treading carefully and the couple/person you are supposed to be meeting gives off any bad vibes, maybe flaking is best. It's hard not to hurt someone's feelings and honesty isn't always what happens. I know we have been honest with couples and it turned into a shit-show. Why don't you like us? If you only meet us and give us a chance we can prove we are wonderful. Other's like us, why don't you. It's hard to be honest at times about why there isn't a connection. May flaking be a way to spare feelings? I don't know. There are probably a plethora (Hefe, do you know what a plethora is?)of reasons people flake and some of those my be that they are just douches. But likely there are other people that aren't and are just trying to get out of a situation they are unfamiliar with. Avoid the douches but maybe give those others a second chance.
Evil: always good topics you bring to the table. So you think because people like sex they should be good at it? I know a lot of people who love food but suck at cooking. haha. Maybe having too many options on the table can also make people lazy. I don't have to try hard if I know tomorrow is another partner. To some it's the quantity and not the quality. But I can see why the expectation would be there.
All in all we really have no complaints. It's been a fascination journey. Some ups, some downs, but always and adventure. We will keep our expectations low, both of ourselves and those around us. Less disappointment that way. I'm going back to sitting in my underwear, drinking a beer and watching TV. Zero expectations. haha. :)
Mr. SRO
