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The vent! - Judgements, I'm so tired of them. - On judgments:
My wife and I were in the lifestyle for many years. She died 5 years ago of cancer and was the love of my life. It has been very hard for me as we were married for 34 years. Many of our friends were swingers because, as others have found, those not involved in the lifestyle often have negative judgmental attitudes. We made many friends.
After she died I was supported by my friends but I was no longer invited to parties. For a while that was fine because I wasn't ready. But since I've tried to renew my lifestyle activities, I've found that I am no longer welcome. Why? Because I'm a single male. Forget that my wife and I were involved in the lifestyle up in Seattle, forget the many times we hosted parties at our house, my wife's death made me a pariah to other swingers.
I really do not understand this. I'm still the same person. I'm discrete, clean, disease and drug free, I'm not pushy and no always means no. I guess I do not understand why all of a sudden I'm no longer welcome at parties i used to attend.
Yes, many people not in the lifestyle judge those of us who are. But a large number of people in the lifestyle are just as judgmental, only they pretend that they are not.
Lifestyle Stats - - TINKERDORK, is that anything like the glass is half full or the glass is half empty? I suppose if it's a glass dildo that doesn't matter...
Statistically speaking there should be something like 127,323 Mormons in America (more than double that world wide) who are also Swingers. Given the repressed nature of the religion, and most religions in general, there are probably that many in the closet...
Wouldn't in be nice if you didn't have to hide it?
Mr. Sexperimentors
What really defines a TRUE swinger? - - Single swingers rock.
Help With Wife - Wife has fantasies but is super hesitant to experiment. - Personally I think you might be a little too eager (can't blame you, we all were when we started) and pushing just a little too hard to make her fantasy a reality. Rather than trying to find a way to get around the "Catch 22" of her fantasy maybe just explore it more verbally and see if it evolves into some kind of scenario that she is comfortable with that more easily can happen in the real world.
The most successful swingers we know, ourselves included, arrived at where they are by being open and supportive of each other's fantasies and desires without forcing them in any way. In other words, be patient, explore your fantasies verbally and maybe role play, a LOT, with each other before you jump into anything that either of you isn't quite ready for.
You might be surprised as you fantasize openly and honestly how your fantasies might evolve and become something that you eventually can and will make a reality. You know your wife better than anyone and maybe she does need a little nudge but most of the swingers we've known over the years who've crashed and burned did so because one partner pushed the limits too fast and didn't wait for the more hesitant partner to catch up. In our case we were quite surprised and what our fantasies morphed into when we really dug deep and talked about the truly deviant (by local standards anyway-lol) aspects of our fantasies.
Sorry, I know that's probably not the kind of advice you were hoping for but it's been our observation over a rather lengthy swinging career. Another thought, if you're bound and determined to make your first swinging experience a MFM, is to find a guy who is okay with just watching you two play or maybe getting involved in some soft swinging...i.e. back rubs and or touching but no intercourse. We were soft swap for the first year or two of our swinging life and it was great fun and took the pressure off until we were ready to take the next step. Best of luck!
edit- Sorry about what now seems like a long rambling response. In my defense it was pre-coffee. [em]Emo_79[/em]
Swingers In Uniform - Pay your memorial day respects here. - We would like to give thanks for everyone including both of our fathers who has ever served for our country and would like to have comemerance for the families of all the soldiers we have unfortunatly lost in this war the last war and for the next one (hopefully not anytime soon but i'm sure will happen again ) we would like to take time out of our busy lives for everyone to have a moment of peace to remember our family, friends, and neibors that are still oversea's and have served in the past. any one that has ever served or is still serving now deserves nothing but the utmost respect for what they have done or are doing now for our saftey. they are all brave men and women and deserve nothing less. thanks to those who support them and we hope everyone has a wonderfull memorial day!!!
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - Posted By: KRISTYLYNN2002 Reply posted on:
Jan 8, 2008 - 1:23 pm
ok fuck it just line up at my door and i will fuck everyone that cums through it..
oh don't forget to bring your livestock,,
then you can call me a slut..lol
kristy
We plan on being up your way 3/6 - 3/9 We will have to hit saddle jacks ;)
YOLO Cruise April 26 2009 - swingers cruise - We just came back from the pscruise09, and didn't expect to be cruising again so soon, but we couldn't pass this up. We were tired of wearing wristbands!
Looking forward to meeting you all,
Lisa and Rich
Seeking New Group Admins - Revitalize your favorite group. - As a longtime group admin I can tell you that MOST of the inactivity is usually due to lack of interest/participation/follow-thru on the part of group members. We have ACTIVELY tried to hold/host group activities MANY times over the years only to be frustrated by turnout...well, LACK of turnout.
We're not sure if it's just Swingular members, swingers in general, or just human nature but we've really gone out of our way a number of times only to be disappointed. The last time was about a year and a half ago when we tried to organize a meet and greet (we actually organized SEVERAL at different times to try to accommodate as many people's schedules as possible) so that people could meet and mingle before organizing a more ambitious activity (skiing/boarding day). Between two different meet and greets we had two couples and one single female show up. So don't necessarily blame group admins for any real or perceived staleness.
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - It seems the bad experiences with a few select single males has lead to such "hatred" in the lifestyle. We don't have an interest in playing with single males but we can say that for the most part they have been very respectful upon our reply. Hopefully as time passes the single male will continue to get a better name and those that are disrespectful will be in the minority.
R&S
How much risk is too much? - - [quote=ILLUSTRATOR]You're right. I'm just telling it the way I see it from what I know. I just wanted to voice the other side of this because I know women who feel this way and, although I understand how you feel, I see their side of it, too.
And the men on here who think that women truly want to be raped need to understand that they may think it's what they want, but what they really want is the unrealistic fantasy that's played out so often in the Romance Novels that are flying off the shelves. There's a reason for their high sales. But it's merely a Fantasy. These men might come across videos like that of Laci Green's and think that means all women want to be raped. They should know that, in reality, women don't want it played out. That's what the OP should know and consider. [/quote]
And a certain percentage of men may have just read that and only saw (or acknowledged), "...all women want to be raped." When we already have a very pervasive bias in our culture towards patriarchy and women being subservient to men, especially sexually, then discussions like this, IMHO, cause more harm than good. It doesn't take much looking on the internet to find sites and discussion boards where violence against women is not only overtly depicted through text and image but also actively discussed and even encouraged. Fantasize all you want but openly discussing how to fulfill rape fantasies in a swingers forum can only cause harm I think.
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