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I Have A Question - Poly vs. Open - Mr. and I have been in a committed poly relationship with another couple for 3 1/2 yrs. Both we and the other couple had been in the LS for 3-4 years before this. Our trajectories were different - Mr. and I were pretty bored with swinging. We had lots of fun adventures, but we both tend to crave more intimacy and I, in particular, don't find myself attracted to many men until I am intellectually attracted to them, and that generally takes more time and effort than the average swinger wants to put in. We had tried only dating unicorns for a year, and then went to more of an open style marriage (infrequent, but occasional hall passes. Sometimes with both members of the same couple, sometimes not). But even that wasn't as satisfying as I wanted and my interest in the LS was waning. That's when we stumbled upon our Others. We were at a vanilla swirl party (a few LS, mostly vanilla) and immediately picked them out as LS. What do you know, we clicked. I immediately was drawn to the husband, he to me, and our spouses soon felt the same. We began spending time together as a foursome pretty much from that day forward.
Their trajectory was different than ours. They were classic swingers--meet at a party, click, arrange sex or fuck then and there. Sometimes these people became friends over time, sometimes not. They didn't crave the intimacy we did; they enjoyed the spontaneity, excitement and variety. Their relationship was never open. No hall passes, almost always straight partner swap with another couple, but occasionally they would mix that up at a party situation. So it's kind of surprising that they ended up down this road of polyamory. We just clicked and loved every minute with each other and really never have wanted to be apart.
HOWEVER, we are all four still swingers in some way or another. It has become more apparent after the honeymoon phase has settled into a deeper, more real relationship. They occasionally still want that exciting fling. We do too, only less often as the stars REALLY have to align for me. Mr and I still occasionally like sex with a deeper connection. There have been moments when we resented their desire for casual sex. There have been moments when they resented our need for deeper connection. But in the end, like any LS couple, we were able to talk it through. And we were able to realize how all of us can be fulfilled and have our needs met. We just had to drop the jealousy and insecurity and really want to please the people we love.
Same room only? - Our new approach - Actually, you're sort of lucky that people who wrote you back try to talk you into doing more at that early juncture instead of the all too common ploy where they think they can convince you to do more once you're all getting ready to play or actually playing.
It all comes down to a matter of respect and a lot of swingers, sadly, are just too concerned about their own desires and agenda and think they can persuade you to go beyond your rules and limits once you see how amazingly hot they are and realize how utterly lucky you are to be able to be with them at all. Yes, that last little part was sarcasm.
anyone looking to party in VA? - - Hey there all we are looking for some interested swingers in the S.W. VA area that are looking for some fun sextacular experiences drop us an email. we are very horny and eager to please for the right female or couple. We are not looking for anything serious just looking for fun. Sorry single males need not apply. Age and race totally unimportant, just free spirits and good times.
xoxoxox
Angel and Matthew
LDS Swingers Survey - Will any former/active LDS swingers take my survey? - So far we have 54 responses. Pretty interesting so far. I was thinking I would post it while some of you are at church tomorrow. :)
Looking to establish a group of safe swingers - - We would be interested as well. This is what we are looking for. We want to meet more people without the pressure of playing right off the start. It would be nice to meet like minded people and see where it goes from there.
Swingers dying out? - Is the utah swinger community dying or becoming to needy? - Ok, This is going to insult an awful lot of people. You
Swinging with Vanillas - Any success stories? - We were never vanilla, we were born swingers ;-)
Male anal stimulation - - And some wonder why the norms of the world call swingers perverts. There a lot of women that don
Is anybody on this site for fucking real or just a bunch of tease - - It seems like there are basically two kinds of swingers. The kind that take their time, carefully read profiles and weigh whether or not they might be a good match with a given couple or individual before contacting them and eventually meeting, and the kind that seem to be more, "Hey, we're swingers and you're swingers so let's swing (fuck)."
I understand the frustration that some feel when they aren't getting the results they expected or possibly even feel entitled to but as long-timers in the lifestyle we can tell you that like almost everything else in life, in swinging you get out of it what you put into it. Put in the work finding and communicating with people who interest you (and HONESTLY do a self-assessment to see if you are what THEY would likely want) and you will be more successful. DON'T put in the legwork and expect sex with others to just fall into your lap, or hit up couples that aren't in your age-range and have similar physical characteristics and interests and you probably won't be quite as successful.
I think sometimes too many people use the shotgun approach of just sending out a whole bunch of friend requests or generic "We like your pics/profile." emails and are upset when they don't get much of a response. YMMV ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Swingers Kickball Society - - My wife and I are interested
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