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New Relationships - - Yep. Swinging is couples centric. If there weren't couples what would swinging even be? Hooking up. But there are plenty of couples who also like to add the occasional single to the mix. Hell, some even play that way exclusively. As far as single swingers meeting each other to form relationships (if I'm reading you correctly) that's a much tougher row to hoe. We've seen a few singles become couples over the years but they're in the minority unfortunately. The lifestyle is a tough place to date and find love for many reasons. Many couples WILL give you more than a casual look if you indeed have a regular play partner that you can bring to add to the mix. Otherwise you'll just kind of have to resign yourself to the plight of a single guy in the lifestyle. Sorry, life isn't always fair.
Respect...Needed? or just forgotten. - - The various points that have been made are well taken.
We have been approached by people who are rude or crass. Typically it is a single male, often married pretending to be single or the de facto single male -- half of a vanilla couple pretending to be a swinging couple.
I have several observations:
This single male is far more likely to be a trial member.
They have little or no real knowledge of swinging and it shows.
They don\'t expect to be invited to join the couple or single female they approach.
They simply find a cheap thrill in the crass sexaulity of the rude note they send.
(I suspect they type them with one hand.)
If given the oportunity (which their approach itself precludes) they would not play.
Don\'t confuse them with the polite & respectful single males that are a part of swinging.
We jokingly refer to them as hard-ons. They think because they once had a hard on -- they are qualified to swing. My FAVORITES are the ones that will \"let you watch\" or \"don\'t mind if you joins in\" as if somehow by their offer alone -- Belinda becomes theirs.
You will see them at the clubs. Somehow they come up with the courage to go to a swingers club that allows single males. They are the males that hide in a corner too afraid to approach anyone or they are the males that come into the room with attitude written all over them -- as if saying \"I paid my fees -- who do I get to fuck\".
If he is found out, the male half of the vanilla couple will stamp and stammer and claim that either he has his wife\'s permission or that she is cold and he is not getting any at home. Given their approach to sex. I have figured out, at least in part, why they are not getting any at home.
I was raised by a very southern, very polite, Daughters of the Confederacy -- mother. Thus I had to endure the suffering born of numerous catillions or formal dances. Everyone knew everyone at the dances. Everyone knew that everyone was there to dance. But you went through the rituals of an introduction and small talk -- prior to dancing. While this analogy ignores the aspects of friendship that are a part of swinging. I have found that the manners I learned at my mothers knee have served me well in swinging. (Don\'t ya know that would shock the hell out of her!)
Profiles (Fake or Real) Hmmmm - - People aren't just fake on swingers sites... been a thing since the beginning of the internet! I'd bet at least 1/2 the pictures of folks on FB are fake... The way I see it.. what's the point? Is messing with people really that much fun? I prefer to be me all the time... plus if I was to lie, I'd never remember it later...
Single Females - Here's Your Chance - I think this is biast, and not the type of thing to be writing on a swingers website, not all men and women are jealous!
Bitchfest here...... - - Having been in this lifestyle for quite some time, I've seen more than my share of drama. I think the most common misconception is that everyone is on the same mindset.
This is not the case for most. You would think that going to a meet and greet set up on a Swinger's site would be a license to "Act" like swingers to anyone you recognize from the site in a public setting. However, I've learned quickly that because everyone responds differently, it is best to assume nothing and take nothing for granted and put on your thickest skin and expect drama. If nothing happens, and you make a connection with some one or both, then build from there and have fun. I have more fun when I go with no expectations and have them wildly exceeded, than to go full on and have the evening ruined through taking drama filled responses personal.
However, I don't think that because some people may have jealousies, that they have the right to treat people rudely. I think there are many who can work on this a bit more and realize that we are all in this to have some fun.
Cuckolding - - Enjoying seeing one's wife/partner have sex with another man (despite the definitions one usually finds in the vanilla world) doesn't reach the level of what true cuckolding is or has come to mean, especially in the context of the lifestyle. While there definitely IS a small subset of swingers who enjoy cuckold-type play it often involves more of a humiliation vibe directed towards the husband and sometimes even some bondage as well, i.e. husband tied up and "forced" to watch wife fucked by a more virile man, etc. while being told how inadequate, small, unmanly he is compared to the "bull".
This misconception of mainstream swinging denoting a cuckholding component for married male swingers is not only way off the mark but it's also a little dangerous in that it far too often gives a very false picture of what the scene actually is to many single males who then treat women/couples accordingly. This, in turn, perpetuates the stereotype of the single male who doesn't really "get" what the scene is about and leads to trashing ALL single males.
We've been AMAZED over the years at how many single males think that married male swingers are cucks when that couldn't be further from the truth.
Any Swingers out there? Golf swingers that is... - - [quote=CPLWHOSHARE]I (male side) plays but she is always willing to drive the cart and coo words of encouragement. We do both play tennis though but fun in the sun on the links can be fun as well.[/quote]
My mrs will drive as well. She wants to learn to play, but hasn't had much time yet. I like to get out and play for the enjoyment, bogey-double bogey golfer, but it's fun.
Black Ring, Right Hand - How to tell if someone's a swinger - Lol, Jeff has been wearing a black ring on his pinky finger of his right hand for almost 10 year's. We heard it was a swinger thing way before we were Swingers but he kept wearing it to mess with people at the time. Definitely not a new thing.
BUSTED! Your Kids Found Out Your Swingers. Now What? - - When we first got in this lifestyle 15 yrs ago a couple we were seeing told our daughter. She said she was drunk and didnt know what she said but thats another story. Soon what my daughter knew my son found out. We just sat down with our kids and explained to them what our needs where and what and why we do this. Our daughter totally was exceptable and my son just chooses to ignore that fact. As far as family I dont know if they know or not but if they do they are all open minded enough we wouldnt expect any problems.
Dave and Jackie
What's in Southern Utah? - - no that just sucks for you my wife has the problem of turning strait people into swingers LOL
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