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Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - And we all have our own opinion,, AND YOU CAN'T CHANGE THAT lol.. Alton

Breaking the 4th wall - meeting a swinger in a vanilla situation. - [quote=BLUEIDKAT] Basically my e-mail was: "Hi, I'm James, the male half of Blueidkat, I work as a sales rep for a national beverage company and consequently call on a lot of retail locations along the Wasatch Front. The other day I was at Blah business in Blah City and noticed someone who looks a lot like you. I know with all the swingers in Utah I must bump into some, everyday, and not realize it. It was so cool to possibly recognize a lifestyler out there in the vanilla world and just wondered if I was right." I understand the whole fear of being stalked and the need for anonimity but are we that afraid? Do we need to be?[/quote]Hey Blue, I know you guys didn't mean anything sinister! But yeah, that'd give me a bit of the creeps. If others read this, I'm sure they'll pipe in with some righteous opinions about how right you are and golly we all need to be proud of ourselves and such because of your statement/question, "I understand the whole fear of being stalked and the need for anonimity but are we that afraid? Do we need to be?" Hopefully few others will read this so we'll not start the whole "Having pics in the profile or not" argument again! :) To answer the question/statement you articulate above, yes, some folks do need anonymity. There are those folks that have a license for their job issued by County or State governments. Obtaining that license is considered a privilege, just like a drivers' license. No, the government can't search you or do medical tests on you against your will -- unless you want to drive. Then you acquiesce to their demands because you want that license. No, the government can't fire someone for perceived violation of a "morality clause" found in a licensing application. They can, however, deny or publicly harass a person about a license. Without that license many folks lose their job. Not good. So for some folks anonymity is not a matter of guilt or shame, but actually becomes a necessity to protect against a threat to their families livelihood. For me, I'm not paranoid or anything but I see absolutely no reason to expose myself unnecessarily. If someone I've met and actually KNOW approaches me away from the swinging scene, I'm totally fine with it, but an anonymous letter from someone I've never even met would bother me.

Affair Match - - Very well said Lusty... and many others of you... Its not a matter of judgementalism for I too fall on the perhaps wierdly mystical side that "everything is perfect, there is ultimately no "making right or wrong". However, thats not to say that we dont all have 'preferences'. It just seems wierd to attract cheating spouse lurkers to a dedicated swingers site. Did we ever find out if Swingular has a similar ad on the Married Affair site attracting affair seekers to what they might believe is an "easy hunting ground" for tail? PS... it is sooo good to hear so many speaking about how important it is to hold a field of Non-judgement and full acceptance. For the record, my opposition to this banner ad reflects my present desire to align myself with with open, honest swingers. In my past I have both been a cheater and played with cheaters. Its nice to have evolved into a fully honest, open marriage and found you all in a community of so many who embrace just how strong, good and honorable this type of relationship can be. Thanks to you all and hope to meet many more. Member since Jan 1st! Dave

BD/SM- Why are there no groups? - - Now this IS Terry. OMG, did I unleash a monster when I put a profile on Fetlife.com for her? Just kidding, she's an angel. Even if there might be just a touch of devil, or at least imp. Anyway, that didn't work out as well as hoped, like Evil said, most fetish groups don't swing, their events aren't usually about sex, just discussions, socializing, and demonstrations, with people doing scenes with the people they're already in a BDSM relationship with. And before someone asks me "well, why don't you just ...", it's simple. She's into some things I'm not and in that life, if you aren't really into something, even if you do know what to do and how to do it, you can't really be a very good Dom. Since the guy is supposed to make the girl happy, I did the Fetlife profile for her. The first thing a new person who's interested in some BDSM group will get told is "We don't swing", that he/she isn't going to be able to go to an event or even party and hook up with someone, that even if he/she gets invited to participate in someone's scene (it does happen occasionally) it isn't likely to culminate in actual sex. Which makes it difficult for someone who wants her BDSM to be part of actual sex. One thing though, Evil. The Fifty Shades of Gray phenomenon notwithstanding, BDSM is more secretive than swinging. Anyone who finds a swing event online can attend, unless he's a single male and it's a no single males thing. Not so with BDSM. Fetlife, for example, has more than one sub-group that sponsors events. You can find the events on the site, but you can't just go to them. You have to be sponsored by someone from that group. And not everyone in the group, people who themselves have been through the process and can attend the group's events without a sponsor, can even be a sponsor. There are always specific requirements and a process of some sort to go through to become approved to sponsor new people. There's still a stronger stigma attached to BDSM than there is to swinging, and the potential consequences to being outed are more severe, especially in a place like Utah. So the people are much more cautious than are swingers, and swingers don't exactly put up billboards ads on the highway. ~ Terry

Black Ring, Right Hand - How to tell if someone's a swinger - [quote=EVILDOERS]We used to go to the occasional lifestyle takeover/trip and would invariably be issued a wristband upon arrival so that we could get into events at the hotel or resort. It usually took about half a day for word to leak out, first among hotel employees and then later the general public, that swingers were around the area and that they could be identified by their wristbands. I guarantee if the black ring thing took off that very soon there would be multiple internet stories as well as likely regular news outlets that "swingers" wear black rings on their right hands and there goes any anonymity. The VAST majority of swingers would then not dare wear the accessory for fear of being seen/identified in public as a swinger. MUCH easier to just attend private swinging events where you have a reasonable assurance that all or most in attendance are indeed swingers rather than spend a lot of time cruising the bars or whatever looking for people wearing black rings. [em]Emo_67[/em] [/quote] Yeah, i point this out every time this is brought up. As soon as the secret hand shake is out, it becomes useless. I heard about the black ring, upside down pine4, flamingo, and white rocks almost twenty years ago, before I ever dreamt of considering swinging. (I keep seeing people say it was created recently, but it has been around for a long time). Thing is, you can think you've got some kind of secret code, or secret meeting place, but the public already knows. But if people want to wear black rings, I say go for it. Unfortunately, I still have to value discretion, so advertising of any kind in public won't be happening any time soon.

"Swinger Robots"?? - WtF?, Now, on top of everything else, we have to worry about Robot Swingers? - Robot needs to go ASAP

Church Swingers, are they out there? - - That is the only web site I know of. I know there are some churchs that are more open then others. We have a frined that is a Minster that is in the lifestyle. R

Advertising your self - Do it like You would a house or car - [quote=SIMPLEPLEASURES]We love the 1970's wedding pictures. Or pictures that include your kids. Then there is the pictures that clearly give the impression the wife has no idea she has become the member of a swinger site. We are guilty a lot of our pictures are unedited. But we're going for that rough look. Fot us our fear of being outed has long since vanished. Wek don't advertise but all our family and friends know all our vacations include destinations that involve nudity. They all suspect or more likely know swinging is part of it. They ask questions from time to time hoping we will discuss it. Comments like yea when we were younger our friends asked if we would swap. So no fear has its rewards, but why push it. It's not like we are the official ambassadors of the lifestyle. Nor missionaries for the cause. Simples [/quote] Exactly, it is not a cause but rather just a choice among many choices. Whether a couple or a single wants to self disclose by self dis-clothing online and show face pictures and create a profile that is stand alone sexy or play their cards very, very close to their chest is just another choice. We have never taken a vacation to a nude resort or a swingers themed cruise or anything like that but we have had swing sex or sex with someone other than each other but not necessarily people that call themselves swingers while on vacation more than a couple of times.

Know any Mormon swingers in SoCal? - Single girl in SoCal wants to know! - Hey younghotfuncpl, I know of one who can probably direct you to others. Message me, and unblock messaging single males would you? Otherwise I won't be able to send you anything back. Or you can email me: [email protected]

Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - Posted By: KRISTYLYNN2002 Reply posted on: Jan 8, 2008 - 1:23 pm ok fuck it just line up at my door and i will fuck everyone that cums through it.. oh don't forget to bring your livestock,, then you can call me a slut..lol kristy We plan on being up your way 3/6 - 3/9 We will have to hit saddle jacks ;)